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yanna08 yanna08 is offline
 
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Really debating going back to work!!!!!
Old 12-30-2010, 02:19 AM
 
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I know what I am saying is easier said than done, but I have been soo stressed since I left for Christmas break that I have been having heart palpitations, nightmares, chest pains, eye twitches, etc.

I am at a new school. I have only been employed at this school for two months. I taught high school for five years and is teaching elementary for the first time. My year started off with two self-contained students thrown into my classroom with mild students who should have actually been taught in inclusion instead of resource. The two self-contained students were involved in a terrible fight with one bashing the other in the head with a chair before I was hired, no one bothered sharing this information with me or warning me to be careful. The perpetrator was taken to tribunal, but nothing happened. Well, they got into two huge fights in my classroom right after I was hired. I had to clear the other students out and call for assistance. A couple of weeks later, the perpetrator pushed me into a cement wall twice trying to get his behavior sheet from me. Again, nothing was done to the student. I understand that not too much could have been done, but still, not even a call into the office.

I was then told by the AP to have the curriculum support teacher to come into my room to assist me in preparing for my first observation. I was told that I could choose the class and date, but I was actually given Math, my least comfortable subject, I taught English 4 years before this position. Well, the curriculum support teacher came into my room once to model a lesson for me. She did this, however, she was supposed to have come back several times later and also assist in preparing my room, well she did show up once and observed me, but gave no feedback. I was also paired with a veteran 5th grade Math teacher. I went to the vet math teacher two days before my planned osbervation being that the curriculum support teacher never gave me any feedback. The Math teacher did assist me. She gave me materials, assisted with my lesson for that day, etc. To make a long story short, the AP did not like anything about my lesson, although the vet teacher's room is identical. She did not like my centers, although I received all of the information and advcice from the vet teacher(mentor). I had been teaching and doing my centers differently, but the curriculum teacher never gave me feedback, so I felt as if maybe I was not doing something correctly.

In the meeting after my observation, the support teacher stated that my prior lessons were great and I shouldn't have changed a thing! Well, it would have been great if someone would have told me that. I am new with centers, elementary, the whole nine. Also, the AP stated that I used no manipulatives, when I clearly did. She said that she did not SEE that part of the lesson. She also claimed to not SEE when my most struggling student "got" the lesson that I was teaching. Oh, is it just a coincidence that she managed to not see what needed to be seen???!!!

I am now scheduled to have a whole lesson observation and then another planned observation. The AP also suggested to the curriculum support teacher to videotape me so that I can see what I am doing wrong in not stating the Standards. She only said that because I said that I did. I guess she was being sarcastic. I have only been on the job two months. Two teachers made comments about how I have been set up for failure due to the circumstances that I was thrown into. I was never given any type of orientation. I had to ask for a employee handbook. Oh, I asked several people to show me how to enter grades into the gradebook and no one did, they stated that it was a lot involved and it would take too long. Well, now the grades are due, and I have no idea what I am doing. I had someone trying to "train" me about 10 minutes the last day before the break.

I am trying to be optimistic, but it is hard to do so. I have been working until atleast 7 every day and as I stated came in for 5 hours on a day that I had a substitute. I feel as if I am not able to keep up with the unreal expectations. And did I mention that I am the only special education teacher that does not have an assistant? I have still not entered my grades because I am not sure how. I know I will be in trouble for that. I was planning on trying, I still have some days, but my mind is shot! I was told that I need to take some accountability for my own teaching! I get upset and sick everytime I think about that place.

There is so much more, but I tried to sum it up as much as possible. I am so stressed, I can not concentrate to complete a lesson plan or anything else. I think I need to see a doctor otherwise I am going to make matters much worst!!

Please give me some insight. Sorry to ramble and please excuse any typos, it is late and I am slowly falling apart!



Last edited by yanna08; 12-30-2010 at 11:10 AM..
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Old 12-30-2010, 06:50 AM
 
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First of all, take a breath.

I really feel your pain. I would like to offer some suggestions. It is difficult for me to read when there aren't any paragraphs, but I will try. (This is sensory overload thing I have. Not finding fault.)

It sounds as if you were not assigned a mentor. I strongly encourage you to find someone that you believe you can work with and get this type of relationship going asap. It might be good to have maybe 2 people who could fill this role for you.

I wasn't clear if you had paperwork that indicated some of the things the AP has said. If so, you should be allowed to rebut the comments. As clearly, concisely, and objectively as you can, write about how the lesson went from your point of view. In your rebuttal, let the real you show through.

I know it is Christmas break, but if grades are due, you need to find someone who would be willing to go to school with you, sit down and do grades with you. This could be a large undertaking on their part depending on how much you've been able to do. I also know that special ed grades are/can be different from taking grades in a so-called regular class.

Perhaps you could "sweeten the pot" to the person you ask by offering to bring lunch or something as you two work.

I strongly suggest that you sit down today and go back to the beginning of your two months and catch up on your documentation of how things are going. Again, be concise and clear as possible.

I understand very much about being put into a new grade level position and not being given much information. I was moved this year to a grade level I've never taught before, and it's very much like being a first year teacher all over again!

In our district, first year teachers are assigned mentors (who get paid for that by the way). I'm very much not a first year teacher so I've had to do a lot of figuring out on my own. Anyway, I've had to ask and ask and ask others for help with grades (this has been huge for me -- have never taken grades for intermediate before), how to work some of the technology in my room, how to handle the pacing (I'm in a testing grade), and so on.

Don't mean to hijack your thread, but I do get it. It's tough when the powers that be put you in a position where they know you will need assistance, but they do absolutely nothing to help you get that assistance and still demand that you do everything as if you had had the help! I have worked my tailend off just to keep my head above water, but feel that next year should be better.

As stressful as this is, I hope you will find some down time for yourself. Eat well, try to get enough rest. At least take a walk often. This will all help.

Let us know how it's going.

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Old 12-30-2010, 11:23 AM
 
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Thanks for responding

I realized that I did not have any paragraphs afterwards, but I was soooo upset, I did not stop to correct the typing. It was also about four in the morning also. I did not sleep at all last night. I went to bed around 7 in the morning! I was soo stressed thinking about everything that I had to do.

I was supposedly assigned a mentor teacher for 5th grade math, the teacher that assisted me with my math lesson plans for the observation, a big help that was. I was also assigned another mentor teacher for 4th grade math.

I have thought about your suggestions and I agree that I should be able to write a rebuttal in my own words because my first observation made me out to be the worst teacher ever!! I was so upset in that meeting that I started crying!!! Yes, in front of all three, the Principal, AP, and Curriculum Specialist. I felt so weak for letting myself get that upset!!!

And yes, it is very upsetting to be responsible for something that you know you have never been trained or given information about how to do and expected to do it correctly.

Another fellow teacher retired at the end of December due to having a stressful last year and being put through some of the same things this year. I happen to see her in the store and she stated that the AP who did my observation is known for those tacticts and making people feel stupid. She also stated that she was yelled and screamed at in the cafeteria last year because she allowed the students to enter the wrong way into the lunch line, by the way, she was also a new teacher to the school last year. So go figure!!

I will keep you informed and I really appreciate your response!
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I am so very sorry
Old 12-30-2010, 02:20 PM
 
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for your horrible experience. Do you have a union? Do you have a doctor? Call the union if you have one and report to them about what you've said here. If you don't have a union, then I don't know what to tell you. Lots of people hate unions but sometimes they are all you have. But someone needs to rein in these abusive bullies. And you are being bullied.
See your doctor and tell him/her what is going on. Don't be shy. Tell them everything. If you are not getting any sleep you can't be an effective teacher. I had to go on anti-depressants and sleeping pills for a while because of my stressful situation at school. I am not embarrassed by the fact either. If I hadn't done something, well, I might not be here right now.
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Old 12-30-2010, 07:56 PM
 
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Thank you for your response Lucky! I do realize that I am being bullied! I experienced something like this on one of my previous teaching positions, which is why I am taking it so hard! I had to actually take a leave and get on anti-depressents back then. I left my old district and took on elementary level students because I felt as if I needed a change and the change would be good. Well, that does not seem to be the case. I ran right back into a similar situation, but this time, it is happening so much earlier.

I did not mention in a previous post that I called the Principal to assist me in removing the student from my room who is violent because he was becoming out of control. I then gave her his assignment that he rushed to complete to get on the computer. She then looked at me nasty and stated, "Well, has he been taught!" I was speechless. Here this student is beating other students with chairs, choking students, fighting every other day in the cafetria, PE, etc., and you have the nerve to ask me if he has been taught, as if it is my fault! I just stated, YES he has!

Unfortunately GA, does not have a union, which is why this can occur so often. The administrators here are terrible! We only have GAE, PAGE, and MACE. These organizations are not at all cracked up to what they seem to be. I went to GAE and tried to get assistance. I called their lawyer, etc. I paid them almost $50 a month, but it was for nothing.

I have made an appointment to the workers comp doctor Monday. I was already going to Workers Comp for my back after the student pushed me into the wall. I am also trying to schedule an appointment with my doctor because I am not sure that Workers Comp will be on my side.

Thanks again for your commment! I get anxious every time I think about going back to that abusive place. I just don't know what to do. I know that I will definitely have to see a doctor if I decide to return.


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I support you!
Old 12-30-2010, 09:06 PM
 
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Last year I had a class like yours. It was awful, awful, awful! I, too, had such a high stress level that I didn't know if I could make it to the end of the year. With no support, I would suggest doing what is best for YOU! Definitely go to the doctor. What can I do for you?
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Old 12-31-2010, 10:31 AM
 
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I am sorry that you work in GA with no union, but even here in CA, the union is buckling under NCLB. My administration has not become as bad as the bullies you are dealing with, but they are not far behind. I teach in the inner-city and deal with some of the worst behaviors I've seen in my 14 years. Administration will do nothing. My nephew's mom had her back broken by a special ed student and the administration tried to blame her!!!
I don't know what the answer is to our serious behavior issues, but I simply can't teach in this kind of environment. And you know, we shouldn't have to.
Keep me posted. I'll keep thinking good thoughts about you.
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Old 12-31-2010, 11:39 AM
 
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Thanks Alvin! I appreciate your response. I called to make an appointment with the workers comp. My appointment is for Monday at 3:30 p.m. I am not sure how that will assist me with my other issues, but I decided that I will stop missing appointments because I am working at the school until around 7:00 p.m. I am not sure how that will assist in my stress level. I am trying to get an appointment with my medical doctor for that. I am still having a difficult time sleeping. I may have to wait to go there Monday as well being that I left a message, but no one has called me back. It helps to speak with people who understand what I am going through. I realize that NO job should be this stressful and make someone this unconcomfortable. I am just praying and asking God for strength and to lead me in the right direction.
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Old 12-31-2010, 11:44 AM
 
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Lucky, you are correct, the conditions that we have to deal with are terrible and should not be tolerated. I also do not know the answer. I do not understand why admins can't understand and try to be supportive of what we are going through! I also can't believe your nephew's mom got her back broken and the admin tried to blame her!!! Now, that is the craziest thing that I ever heard!! Yes, totally unacceptable!!!

I will keep you posted, and thanks for thinking good thoughts about me!

I appreciate it!!
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Old 01-03-2011, 02:50 PM
 
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Not to add to your stress level, but be careful....and document, document, document. You are a new teacher, and you do not have tenture. Bad observations are a way to get rid of people---and it doesn't matter if admin is unhelpful or to blame. See if the teacher that helped you plan your observation always gets good observations without letting her know you got a bad one. That way at least if she always gets good observations for doing the same as you, then you know that they may be possibly tring to build a case againist you. Also, just to note, when I first started teaching my mentor set me up to fail. Then the principal started getting her help to build a case for my dismissal and the end of my teaching career. I went to another school system before that. In my state, the job apps always ask if you were fired, or asked to resign, which is a warning to future employers.

God bless you---I have been in your shoes before and it is never fun!


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Old 01-05-2011, 06:33 AM
 
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Hello, I had to go to urgent care Sunday night. I was dizzy and having chest pains. The doctor took me off work until next Tuesday. My bloodpressure is up and everything! I have never had high blood pressure! I'm not sure what to do from here. So did you leave the school before the year was up? What did you do to leave before the nonrenewal?
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Old 01-05-2011, 02:31 PM
 
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Oh my goodness. I have seen this scenario so many times during my 23 years of teaching. You are being set up for some odd reason. Don't let them see you sweat. Hold your head up high. You sound like a good teacher. You can't let them make you feel any different. I am at a new school also. This is my first elementary job. i have always taught middle and high school. I will be darned if I am going to let them get to me. Read my post called "New wrong job". I think that is the title. Another rule of thumb is to be careful who you talk to at work. Don't do it if you can help it. I found out the hard way. I stick to myself during the school day. Remember...it ain't that serious and this too shall pass. Hope things brighten up for you.
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bad situation
Old 01-05-2011, 03:49 PM
 
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I am SO sorry this is happening to you. I would definitely ask the doctor for something to help you sleep; he/she can maybe start a documentation file (chart) on how you are feeling. That alone sounds like a worker's comp case (anxiety, etc.), but I'm not sure. Eat well, exercise, and try to relax when you're home. As far as the AP and others who refused to help you -- karma has a way of taking care of mean people. I will send thoughts for positive things for you.
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Old 01-06-2011, 07:58 PM
 
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Hello lawdy,

For some reason, it does seem like a set up but why???? I am new to this school this year. I worked at a previous school in which I was the target of mistreatment, along with 4 other sped teachers. It was coming from my department chair.

I moved to a new county, grade level, etc. I know that this is the reason that I am taking it so hard. I felt as if I was getting a fresh start and everything would be fine. I have gone through so many bad experiences since I have been teaching that it is not funny. My 2nd year teaching I was a co-teacher, teaching with one of the worst teachers I have ever met in the middle of the school year, it was so bad. I had to ask to be moved to another class etc, The AP did not want me to, but my practicum teacher insisted. She stated that I would not pass my class if I was not moved, so I was. The next year I was with a co-teacher that tried to boss me around. I handled that situation also. The next year I was with another horrible teacher who later got canned, but the entired year was a living hell. The last year the special education department chair was harrassing myself and some other employees. It was so bad that I would leave the school in tears because nothing was being done about it; therefore, I think I have just had it!! I am all fought out!!!

I have been put on high blood pressure pills, the doctor said that my EKG was not looking good and I have a leaky heart valve!! I have to go and take a stress test Monday for the 2nd time!! I am too young for this!!! The doctor advised me to take leave. I am not sure if I will be fired or not, but at this point, I really don't care.

I know I am upset, but the drama of my teaching career has taken its toll on me.

Thanks for your encouragement. I appreciate it!
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health concerns
Old 01-06-2011, 08:13 PM
 
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I feel so badly for you. You need to take care of yourself first and foremost. Do what your doctor says. He can put you on disability if that's what it will take to get you healthy. Also, I'm concerned that you were assaulted by a student (yes - that's what it is called) and nobody did anything about it. Make sure you have documented all of this. Should it happen again - ( and this sounds really tough for a teacher!) call the police and file the charges. I worked with a man who had taught in a really tough inner city school - gangs, drugs, etc. He told us that in order to protect yourself, your other students AND get the help the violent student was needing, filing charges would force the issue. Then, once the student gets some counseling, proper placement where he/she can get help, you can always drop the charges. I'm not sure as a non-tenured teacher that this would be my first choice, but if you and your other students' safety is involved and your school is doing nothing to protect you and them, drastic action might be needed. Watch me get flamed!!
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Old 01-07-2011, 01:46 PM
 
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Hello jeanmarie,

Yes, I realize now that I was indeed assualted. I did not realize my rights until other employees made me aware of them. I could have pressed charges against him. I also know that if he would have done to him what I did to him, I would have been charged. I understand that he is a student, and does need help, which is sad because no one is making him accountable for his actions. That little boy has been in so many fights since he has been enrolled in the school, which has only been since August, that it is a shame!

The part that upset me was that the principals did nothing about it! If anything they became harder on me and treated him nicer. I was even told by the Special Education Support Teacher to give him some Chic-Fil-A coupons if he does what he is supposed to do!!! I was like, I wish I would!!!

As for my health, I do need to keep in mind that it is my number one priority. I am going to listen to the doctor, and hope things can work out for the best. I feel bad about being sick and away from my students, but I know that I have to do what is best for me before I can go back and do what I need to do effectively as a teacher.

Thank you for responding!
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Oh no he di'int??!!
Old 01-22-2011, 08:07 AM
 
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OK, at the risk of being flamed, Imma' just going to throw this out there... Elementary Schools are "caty"- in that, seriously, its 75%-100% females and guess what??? they love to gossip, create drama and weed out folks they dont like. There, I said it. Its an interesting dynamic. I am a minority. A male-elementary teacher, and let me say this, there is a definate chaos created when only one gender is dominating a work place. Beit male or female dominated.

My advice: put your head down, do your job to the best of your abilities (push yourself every now and then). I have found, you can only do what you can do. I would say 90% of teaching is dealing with stress. YOU, are stresed out and are having anxiety attacks, I would see a doc an ask for low level xxanex, just to take the edge off when things get all crazy! and it will get all crazy from time to time...you just have to be in a good place.

Stay out of the drama! Stay focused on becoming a great teacher. If you can teach in that environment - you can teach anywhere.

I know, because I couldve wrote your letter a half a year ago...I just do the best job I can, I stay out of the drama and my life has been 180. Also, update your resume and start looking now! Schools are like shoes, not all are a good fit.

***I know a lot of women-folk are chewing on the bit to flame me for saying elementary schools are 'caty', and I appoligize. I do appreciate them as mentors and such, but things can get out of control, especially when they all start cycling together -

Yes I am being waaaay to honest, I probably deserve a flame or two...[ducks]
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Old 01-23-2011, 11:41 PM
 
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Well, talk about females and being catty. My elementary school is ran by two female administrators and both are trifling to say the least!!

I have been out on leave for about two weeks now going into my third. The principal has been calling me harrassing me ever since. She called me one day stating that I "really" needed to come back to work. I guessed she realized that she was sounding stupid becasue she then stated that she realized that it was "not my fault that the doctor won't release me, but you really need to be at work". I guess she doesn't understand that I am having health issues and that I will not be an effective teacher until I have gotten everything straightened out with my health first.

I am already stressed and her calls are making me more stressed!!! She has been demanding that I send her doctors notes with my return date on them. She also called me one night around 8:30 to tell me that if she did not get the proper paperwork she would report me to HR, not knowing that I already had been speaking to HR until I told her. She must have been at her son's game because I heard noise in the background. I explained that the doctor was in the process of completing the FMLA paperwork and faxing them to HR. She then became upset that I called HR and stated that she did not have any idea why I was calling HR because that is not the process. The doctor then faxed over an excuse, but that still was not good enough for her. She then had the secretary to call me and ask when she would receive the correct fax.

I am soooo really not looking forward to returning to that place. I can't even get my head clear because now I am feeling guily about not being there and having to deal with two controlling witches upon my return!! Both are very demanding and enjoy being controlling. I am thinking that they are both planning on making my life a living hell on my return. All of my friends also agree. What do you all think? Please offer some advice, I am on my wits end at this point!!! I am so NOT wanting to go back to that so called school!!
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Old 01-24-2011, 05:37 PM
 
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UPDATE YOUR RESUME

Look elsewhere, seriously.
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Old 01-25-2011, 07:00 PM
 
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I guess you are right at this point, but what about me finishing out the year?

The doctor put on my leave sheet to return Feb 1 until I go to the specialist to see if they would extend it. I tried to make an appointment with a specialist today and have to wait until 25th, now I am not sure what to do. I definitely thought I would be able to be out a little longer. I am so not ready to return to that place, mentally or physically. I may have to go back to the doctor to explain and see if she will extend until I can see the specialist.
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