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Manners? Please and Thank you?
Old 12-08-2017, 05:28 AM
 
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Hello! I am at my wits end. I have a challenging group of students this year. It seems that manners have gone by the wayside. There are no please or thank yous. I have gimme, I want more, that is not what I want, I hate that color...I usually give small gifts for the holiday season but I am struggling this year in that I don't want to give to these students because of their behavior. I have done lessons on manners and the importance of please and thank you but it doesn't seem to stick. Do you have resources or ideas?

Thank you in advance! Nancy


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Role play dramas
Old 12-08-2017, 12:28 PM
 
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where please, thank you, excuse me, no thank you I don't care for any..... are required.

Model it yourself. I am sure you already do this.

Read them a story about using these words.

Send home a note to parents and ask for their support by practicing these words at home.

Have a meeting with the students and tell them how important it is to use these words.

Good luck!
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That's Easy
Old 12-08-2017, 03:06 PM
 
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There are bound to be others who disagree, but I can only speak from my experiences and what I've observed. Many adults seem to think that the best way to "teach" proper verbal etiquette is to use modeling or better yet by asking the child, "What do you say?" However, what I notice is that most children only say thank-you when when they are asked, "What do you say?" Without the trigger question, there is often no expected response. Middle school and high school students almost invariably fail to say please/thank-you because their parents and teachers no longer think it is appropriate to provide the trigger question, especially when in public.

When I was still working, I quickly would train (as opposed to teach) my students to use proper verbal etiquette by simply requiring them to: A) state their request according to a standard frame. "May I please have a sheet of paper? May I please take this home? May I please go to the bathroom?" and B) say "Thank", without any prompting, before they actually received the requested item or were allowed to go anywhere or do anything. It's amazing how intelligent young humans are! They learned to say please/thank-you without fail within the first week of school - and I didn't have to praise them a million times with "GOOD JOB!" each time they said it.
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Old 12-08-2017, 05:33 PM
 
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ugh, this drives me nuts! I have a challenging group as well. This year I bought all of my students a book at the end of a hard reading unit to celebrate. One of the students came up to me and said, "I already have this book at home" with an annoyed face. I just said, "Well now you have another one!"
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Old 12-09-2017, 08:37 AM
 
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Me too! If a student does exceptionally well on something, I'll say "you get a prize" (very rare, it's when s/he is usually 1 of only 2 or 3 out of 28 who does perfect on a hard assignment) and this one boy especially will say "Can I get a candy instead?"
1) Not even a please
2) How rude of him

My response is always that's a very rude question and you can get nothing instead.

To me this is the entitlement generation...


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Thank you!
Old 12-10-2017, 08:13 AM
 
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Thank you everyone for your posts. I will use your suggestions! My wits are a little less at the end now. 😃
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Old 12-10-2017, 08:19 AM
 
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Most of my students are polite and appreciative. But for those few who will say they don't like the offered treat, etc, I will just respond, "ok" or "Well maybe you have a little brother or sister who would" and then I move on to something else. They are usually so surprised I don't hurry to offer an alternative treat (like I assume their parents do) that they have no response and it stops right there.
For a large group of kids like this, I like the idea of a read aloud book centered on good manners and a follow up discussion. Maybe writing mini lesson on dialogue could include responses that include please/thank you etc.
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Thank you
Old 12-10-2017, 05:41 PM
 
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Thank you Starr for your input!
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