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some people are out of control... long
Old 02-20-2012, 06:57 PM
 
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Last week I was told by my preschool DS school that she has pulled another childs hair and it had fallen out and now she has a bald spot. The teachers said they did not see hear her cry or anything. I was told the parent wanted to talk to me so I said ok she can call and I made my DS apologize to the little girl. When I looked I couldn't see a bald spot.

Today the mother called and said she was too upset to call over the weekend. However she want to make sure I saw the childs bald spot and she wanted me to pay $50 for a treatment. REAlly?!!! $50 so I had to ask what would cost that much.

My DS said that she didn't pull out any hair. When I told the mom this she said that it didn't fall out till the girl got home.

Before I say anything else I know my kid was wrong and we have spoknen to her.

What makes this woman think that I am gonna PAY?

AM I wrong?! Refusing to pay her?!


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Hmmm...
Old 02-20-2012, 06:59 PM
 
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I find it hard to believe that your son pulled her hair hard enough to leave a bald spot and she didn't cry or holler out or anything? Also, I've never heard of hair falling out some time after it was pulled. I dunno...
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Old 02-20-2012, 07:03 PM
 
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Did anyone actually see your child pull another child's hair? Your son apologized. There isn't any treatment that's going to make it grow back much faster. Things happen. I wouldn't pay anything.

My daughter got hit in the eye with a dirt clod in 3rd grade, and she had a huge black shiner, and eye swelled closed. (She was playing with some friends.) The parents of the child who threw the dirt clod brought him to our house to apologize. I accepted it and moved on. Last summer my 5th grade son was playing football after school with some friends. One of the other kids tackled him just right and he fell down sideways on his shoulder, and it badly broke his collarbone. The kids apologized to my son. The mom didn't. She also didn't offer to pay for ER, and treatment, though I think she should have. If my child hurt someone bad enough for an ER visit, I'd let them know that I'd pay half of what insurance didn't. Sorry I got off track there.
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Did she get her and extension or something?
Old 02-20-2012, 07:06 PM
 
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I am so confused. So her hair gets pulled at school and then, hours later, when she is home some of her hair falls out. I see. So the adult that witnessed this can show you exactly where your child pulled on the other child's hair, correct? Because unless there is an adult that can confirm it was 100% your child that pulled the hair in exactly the spot that the hair fell out, I'd say sorry, but this is the word of 2 small children we are relying on. My child apologized and you chose to do an expensive treatment. Don't expect me to pay if you and I never discussed ANY of this before you went and had something done.

Unbelievable.

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Old 02-20-2012, 07:17 PM
 
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What? No. Don't pay. What treatment would be needed? This sounds really......weird.Don't pay a dime.


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Old 02-20-2012, 07:34 PM
 
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WHAT kind of treatment? Please....if such a treatment existed, many people would be getting this when their hair thinned. Sounds fishy to me! People are crazy. Kids will be kids and things happen. There is no learning curve these days. Your son apologized....done! If the preschool workers weren't on top of supervising the kids and it could get to that extreme- she should take it up with the preschool. What an uncomfortable position for you to be in. ((HUGS))
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Old 02-20-2012, 07:42 PM
 
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What is she going to put Rogaine on her child's head?

Seriously, something is fishy here and I would pay a nickel until I had proof it was my child.
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Old 02-20-2012, 07:49 PM
 
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You don't owe anything.

Kendall, you have a very valid point. Kids are not aloud to make any mistakes anymore. They have to come out of the birth canal with maturity and wisdom.
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Old 02-20-2012, 07:59 PM
 
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I'm surprised the daycare told the parent that it was your DS. Every child are place I worked at, we were not allowed to tell names. It was that way in the preschool too, even though the kids could communicate and tell who did it. I'd be more concerned about that policy and check more into it. Some parents can be crazy!
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omg...
Old 02-20-2012, 08:22 PM
 
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Have owned a daycare....you and your child said sorry. You will do what you can to prevent and the mom of the victim needs to ask the daycare what their plan is for prevention. Other than that...sorry lady. I would not respond further to her requests for money. On a side note...what treatment does she want money for...counseling?


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Old 02-20-2012, 08:26 PM
 
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The whole thing sounds fishy to me - pulled it hard enough to pull it out and the child didn't even yell ! Then, what would they do to treat something like that ????? I agree. Don't pay!

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Old 02-20-2012, 09:08 PM
 
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No way. Don't pay!

And I disagree with helping to pay the for the ER visit that the PP mentioned. Sometimes being a kid is risky, and kids make mistakes. My children have been injured at the hands of others, but I don't think it's been intentional. They've gotten hurt because they are KIDS and they were acting like kids and things got a little rough. It could have easily been someone else getting hurt.

I wouldn't ever expect someone else to pay for something like that.
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Don't pay!
Old 02-20-2012, 09:09 PM
 
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There's something wrong with this story. How could this little girl not cry if her hair was pulled that hard? Also, how does it fall out later? Weird! Even if it were all true, the hair will grow back. I bet there are plenty of kids who have bald patches from self-inflicted "hair cuts" at the school right now.

So sorry you are having to deal with this nonsense!
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Being a preschool teacher and a mom
Old 02-21-2012, 02:49 AM
 
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I am a bit taken back by claims of what will the preschool do next time. How many times in our classrooms did an incident happen and we did not see it?
Paying for an ER visit for a football game? Are you kidding me? Kids will be kids. WE take the responsibility as parents to take them to the doctor. Do Not Pay. The preschool had no right to tell the parents nor was there an incident report written. Sounds like a parent who wanted something!
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No!
Old 02-21-2012, 05:18 AM
 
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You are not wrong. Do not pay this woman. Some people just look for any excuse to get $.

Like a PP said, I am surprised the daycare named your child as the hair puller. This was not the case in any daycare or preschool in which my children were enrolled.
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Old 02-21-2012, 07:46 AM
 
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My kid got hurt at school at the hands of another child (broken front tooth). Did I ask the child's parents to pay the dentist bills? No. I did talk to the principal about the recess aides who would not send my child to the nurse because he wasn't bleeding (guess a broken tooth isn't severe enough to go to the nurse). I have insurance to cover my child and accidents happen.
As for the hair pulling-they can't even prove it. What an entitled b-witch!
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personal responsibility
Old 02-21-2012, 07:47 AM
 
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Is it any wonder why our students are not taking personal responsibility for anything???

Something does sound fishy to me about this whole situation. It would take a lot to pull enough hair to leave a bald spot. I think you are justified with asking what the $50 is actually for -the only thing I could think of for a 4 yo would be one of the new feathers or colored hair pieces?

I also agree with the other posters about the football incident mentioned. I think there is an assumed risk with playing tackle football and I wouldn't feel I should pay for that type of injury.

If your ds really did cause harm to this little girl by pulling her hair, hitting, biting, throwing a toy etc. then I think you would be responsible since there is no 'assumed risk' with playing at daycare, but I still think something sounds funny with the whole story.
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Old 02-21-2012, 09:16 AM
 
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Definately something fishy with this story. In the first place, you were not there when the "hair pulling" incident occurred. It ocurred while your son was in the care of the preschool. Perhaps the preschool is responsibile for the lack of supervision. Suggest that the mother go and request money from the preschool. I have a feeling that she won't do it because she is probably just playing on your feelings of guilt. It's called "usuary". My sympathies to this woman's child who has a faulty role model for a mother...
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Old 02-21-2012, 09:41 AM
 
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Even if there is no assumed risk these are preschool aged children whose supervision was not her responsibilility at the time. Mom would not legally owe a dime anyway unless she encouraged her child to do it.
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I wouldn't
Old 02-21-2012, 09:53 AM
 
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I'm sorry. Kids are kids. They're going to have accidents. My stepson was jumping on the bed, fell off, and hit his head on the corner of the nightstand. Did I go to the maker of the nightstand and demand them to pay me for the ER visit? No I took responsibility as the adult in the situation. I shoul have been watching more carefully.

These children are very small. Kids their age cry over pretty much anything that scares them or takes them by surprise. I can't believe that if your child pulled her hair hard enough that it fell out...whether at school or at home...that she didn't cry. I'm not saying your child shouldn't apologize, but I don't think it was right of this mother to call you. You weren't in charge of the children at the time. The responsible adult in that was supervising should apologize to both parents for the incident and everyone should move on.

Who knows? The child may have gotten hold of scissors and cut a section of her hair out! Maybe your son didn't even pull her hair.
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Old 02-21-2012, 11:44 AM
 
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I agree. You should not have to pay. I may be off base, but I can't imagine a 4 year old being strong enough to pull hair hard enough for it to come out of another child's head. It is possible for a child to have cut another child's hair but the op did not say there were scissors involved.
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Old 02-21-2012, 01:30 PM
 
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I too am surprised at her request for $$. Never heard of that before and have never heard of a hair treatment for covering up a spot. No way your DS pulled out that much hair and she didn't scream or cry. I'm also surprised there was a request for a phone conversation and now she has your number.
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update
Old 02-21-2012, 03:57 PM
 
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I spoke with the preschool admin and she was also shocked at the parent request for money. From what she said I don't think she has a high regard for this money grabbing women.

The admin said that I should take the money out of the tuition and give it to the woman to shut her up. She said that people like her only look for money in every situation.

I still think it is wrong. I told the admin she sounds like an extortionist and if I pay what's to stop her from coming for more it this "treatment" does not work. The admin said she already told her that when she gets the money, that's the end of the situation.

It just boils me up. My DH doesn't care if the money is coming out of the the preschool he said he isn't giving her s_it. Lol!

Btw... the preschool did not give my DS name, her DD went home and told her it was my kid. I agreed to her having my number b/c I thought she want me to apologize. That's the last time.

Thank you all for your support.
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Old 02-21-2012, 04:06 PM
 
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Don't pay! I agree. She only does it because it works for her. If she runs into enough road blocks then she will stop. Suing people costs thousands...maybe only a couple of hundred for small claims bur I say she has no chance. Don't do it.
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Old 02-22-2012, 06:13 AM
 
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Thanks for the update. I agree with your DH. Just crazy!
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Old 02-22-2012, 07:04 AM
 
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I am with your dh, too. Let him talk to her if there is a next time. Might just take the wind from her if she knows she is talking to a person who isn't taking her crap.
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