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Teacherbee_4 Teacherbee_4 is offline
 
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Yelling
Old 12-16-2011, 04:19 PM
 
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Why is it that some people think that if you speak in a firm voice, "lecture" a student, or talk to a student about something they did wrong, you are automatically "yelling" at them?

The other day, one of my students was lying to me, not doing what he was supposed to, interrupting me, etc. He was doing this all day, but especially during our reading time. I was working with a guided reading group he was goofing around, coming up to me trying to start conversations, etc. I'd redirect him saying he needed to be working on this or that and that it was it not okay to talk to me while I was working with other students unless it was an emergency. I gave him the names of 3 different friendly, helpful classmates he could go to instead if he needed help. He lied to me all day. He lied about homework, completing in-class work, a playground incident, etc. After he wasted his whole reading time that day, I was so frustrated, I pulled him out in the hall and started talking to him about the incidents. Another teacher (who knows this boy) peaks her head out and calls me over. She said "Why are you yelling at him? He didn't do anything wrong." I'll calmly explained that I wasn't yelling but that he was off task for me, lying, etc. She continues to claim he did nothing wrong. UMMM seriously? How would she know!?!?!

Then today, there are all these teachers around and she was like, "I still can't believe you were yelling at him that day. He didn't do anything wrong. You shouldn't have done that." UMMM....seriously? MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS LADY! Plus, I wasn't yelling. In fact, another teacher overheard the conversation and voluntarily told me I handled it so well and did a such a good job dealing with him. My principal was walking around the hall doing random tasks when I was talking to him. I was so frustrated by this teacher's comments, I went to talk to my principal after school today. I didn't bring the comments up to him, but I just said, "Hey, when you were the hall the other day and I was dealing with so-and-so, do you think I handled it appropriately?" Principal said I did fine. Now, if I was YELLING at this kid, don't you think principal would have said something to me?

Thanks for the vent! This kid's behavior is frustrating and I have been trying really hard to work with it, find strategies to help, etc. We have tried everything. I even work with my principal and other teachers to brainstorm solutions. Due to home "support" and home life, there really is only so much we can do. I know that sounds bad, but I don't want to be "found out" by giving too much of this situation away. On top of dealing with his behavior now, I feel frustrated that I have to now deal with a teacher who thinks I was yelling when I totally wasn't! I know I wasn't! I was completely conscience of my mood and frustration and was actively telling myself to keep calm, take deep breaths, lower my voice, etc. There are other teachers at my school who have actually YELLED YELLED at kids and have been talking to by the principal. It's so loud sometimes, I know this teacher has heard that...yet she hasn't said anything to them that I am aware of.


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Old 12-16-2011, 04:28 PM
 
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Watch out for interfering people. Not a good thing. You should not have explained anything to her in the first place, since now she thinks she can tell you what to do. It is none of her #$%^ business what you do with your kids, even if she thinks she knows them.
I had an idiot butt in and didn't stop it on time, which made her think she could do what she wanted. I had to put a stop to it, quickly. You have to do the same. If she brings it up again, you need to let her know it is none of her business.
You could say something like: " This is my classroom, and I'm sure I can handle it well. I'll be sure to call you if I happen to need help. Thanks anyway."
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Omg
Old 12-16-2011, 04:30 PM
 
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omg, if she had said that to me I would have turned to her and yelled, "NO, THIS IS YELLING AT SOMEONE!! I AM YELLING AT YOU!! NOW BACK OFF AND MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!!"
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Yelling
Old 12-16-2011, 04:32 PM
 
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For a lot of people, "yelling" has nothing to do with volume but rather is a synonym for "scolding" or "reprimanding." The same goes for "hollering."

How upsetting to have the other teacher stick her nose into a situation she knows nothing about and has no business commenting on. Sorry you have to deal with that.
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Old 12-16-2011, 04:33 PM
 
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I hate this. It's especially true if you are a guy. Suddenly whenever you discipline a student you "yelled" or you were "mean." Seriously!?

That other teacher needs to mind her own business. Like the other poster has said, be careful. This woman is clearly a snake.


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Old 12-16-2011, 04:37 PM
 
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Your busybody neighbor has too much time on her hands. So, you need to do your civic duty to help her out with all this extra free time. The next time your student begins his usual antics, have him pack up his stuff and go visit his guardian angel. If she teaches the grade after yours, I would go to your principal and recommend that he be placed in her classroom since she feels such a kinship towards him. I'm sure if she had him 7 hours/day for 180 days her tune would change.
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Thanks!
Old 12-16-2011, 04:39 PM
 
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Thanks! I will have to suck it up and say something! I hate confrontation, but this lady has really been bothering me, not just on this issue. What kills me is that she doesn't know most of the situation. I really want to keep peace with my colleagues, not tick people off, etc. Honestly, If I was yelling, I wouldn't have minded her saying something because yelling was not my intention. I easily could have lost it and yelled, but I was very conscience of how frustrated I was. That was one of the reasons I made sure to take him out into the hall and be close to where the principal was...so if I did start yelling, he would be there to "calm me down". Principal didn't see this teacher pull me aside, as he wasn't there the whole time, but he heard a good chunk of it.
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I can relate
Old 12-16-2011, 06:58 PM
 
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I had a students say to me today, "Yeah, I did XYZ because I didn't want you to yell at me." I made it clear that correction is not not yelling. I have absolutely raised my voice but 9 times out of 10 it's a calm correction, versus a "yell".
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Yelling versus Correcting
Old 12-16-2011, 08:07 PM
 
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Yeah, I went through this last year with a child who went home and told his mother that his teacher was yelling and screaming at the kids. Not so. It seems that whenever a kid is corrected the report home is that the teacher yelled. I may raise my voice, but I do not yell. So, this parent got on the phone and started her little ring of complaints to her "friends". It was a year of hell for me until the little brat was taken out of our school and taken to another school within the district. But by that time all my co-workers were convinced I was yelling. THIS VENTING PLACE SAVED MY SANITY. I know I am a good teacher -and so are you! Too many times teachers let the kids run all over them out of fear that we will get in trouble with the admin - and some do. But if we don't stand our ground and take back the teaching time that is ours to devote to teaching then we aren't doing our job. I blessed the next year's teachers by seeing that several of the children I had were NOT placed together. That was the problem for me. Those kids had been together for too many years and school was nothing but fun time for them.

I know it is sad, but there are teachers who think they are perfect and have all the answers. Unfortunately, those are the ones who love to stir up trouble. That sounds like your busybody teacher. If she's so good at teaching and knows how to handle the little darling, transfer the kid to her room. Keep your spirits up. Nobody ever said teaching was going to be easy.
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I'm glad I'm in middle
Old 12-17-2011, 08:09 AM
 
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We yell all the time and never think anything of it. Elementary is so full of hurt little feelings, from students and teachers alike. I don't miss it.


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Old 12-17-2011, 12:54 PM
 
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I've heard kids say 'yelling' when it's really 'correction' and NOT yelling, but that adult needs to take care of her own class.
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Old 12-17-2011, 03:53 PM
 
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haha! Your post made me laugh
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Totally agree with
Old 12-17-2011, 05:38 PM
 
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Jade on this
Quote:
For a lot of people, "yelling" has nothing to do with volume but rather is a synonym for "scolding" or "reprimanding." The same goes for "hollering."
If I remember correctly, you teach first don't you? I think their idea of yelling is even more literal than other elementary kids.

Sometime during the year, I would remind my kids that I am not yelling when I need to speak to them firmly so they wouldn't go home with the stories.
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Old 12-17-2011, 06:10 PM
 
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had other teachers tell me that I am yelling and need to stop when I am not. These same teachers get louder then me and no one says anything to them. I just say, oh and then I keep it moving.

My kids will tell someone that I am not yelling, that they will know when I am yelling because they will hear me a block away.

I had a parent call me one day and say that I yelled at her child and she was crying because she didn't like being yelled at. I told the parent that I did raise my voice because her child had not listened all day. I then told her that I didn't like that she came to school late, not listened, was mean to other kids, and didn't tell the whole truth when she went home. The mom shut up pretty quick.
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