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My DD
Old 05-31-2018, 12:37 PM
  #1

She's gonna' kill me. Her life is so good right now according to her so why can't she just talk to me nicely?
She has a boyfriend
She has a great fun job

I am not for many things she's doing with her life right now and I'm about to burst and tell her.
I yelled at her on the phone today while on my lunch hour. I can't stand the gloomy way she speaks to me. So after she texted me that she was on her way to work and she's crying and her makeup is ruined and the press is going to be at her job today. She feels and looks disgusting.. AHHHHHHHHHHH HELP ME

OH yeah.. as my dh was driving he to train, he told her that when I was her age, my mom had just died and she should appreciate me and talk nicely. All I want is to have a good mother daughter relationship with her... That made her cry too.


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Old 05-31-2018, 12:51 PM
  #2

My young adult dd tends to talk ‘gloomy’ to me too. Tells me all her ‘problems’ — some of which — to me — really aren’t problems!

I’m a ‘fixer’ by nature. So, it used to really bother me when she would call and unload — and not have a single good thing to say. I would try to fix it. Which makes me feel bad because I can’t — it’s her issue. She doesn’t ask how anything here is — it’s all about her.

I have to say that I didn’t raise her this way. I raised her to be a caring individual. I guess she just doesn’t show that to me very often! But, every once in a while, I see the caring young lady that she can be!

I try to just listen. I don’t make suggestions unless asked. I just say a prayer for peace for her when I get off the phone.

I just wanted to let you know that you aren’t alone!
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Mom and daughter woes...
Old 05-31-2018, 12:55 PM
  #3

That's tough. You are at an age you know what's important in a relationship. It sounds as though she is still figuring that out. Keep loving her and showing her as much patience as you can and I think she will eventually see she can do better.
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Old 05-31-2018, 02:12 PM
  #4

Have you ever considered going to therapy with your daughter? It seems ya'll have a difficult relationship. I am not being rude...just sincerely wondering? Of course, I my daughters are only 10 months and 6 yrs old so I may be totally off base and ya'lls relationship may be what I face in the future...

ETA: I just realized I may have confused you with another poster so if I did I am so sorry!!
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Old 05-31-2018, 02:28 PM
  #5

Why are you talking to her during your lunch time? Seriously, stop that. There isn't anything so important that you can't wait to talk until you are both home.

I like IA11's advice to just listen. Or is she asking you to solve things for her?

Gosh, don't you wish with half your heart that the next 5 years would go by so she would be off on her own? Don't wish time away though. It goes so quickly as it is.

I suggest either listening or making an excuse not to listen. "Have a headache, would you finish dinner?" "Need to take a walk, bye!" "Oops, gotta poo."

Does she know how much it annoys you to listen to her gripe? How about setting a gripe timer and then walking away if it starts up again?

Goodluck. It is early in the summer.


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Old 05-31-2018, 04:00 PM
  #6

Kahluabalst! Okay, I'll try to just listen and NOT speak to her during my lunch hour. I just called to wish her a good day at work. She's working in a pop up store and there was going to be press and media there.. its a popular place with lines around the corner. ( Ryan Seacrest was there Sat. night!) UGH... I guess I'll go to sleep before she gets home so she doesn't start with me at 11:00.. It's like she wants to fight and won't let things go. Why why why do I let her do this to me????
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Old 05-31-2018, 04:28 PM
  #7

I say limit your interactions to texting!
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Don’t Enter the Dance
Old 05-31-2018, 05:07 PM
  #8

Empathize when you can and then tell her you’ve got to go. Google “mother daughter relationships”...the most difficult human relationship ever! I’ve read every book and many articles...I’ve found my daughters dump on me because they know the unconditional love and support I have for them. Hang in there!
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Best advice ever given to me
Old 05-31-2018, 05:52 PM
  #9

Just because someone throws you a ball, doesn't mean you have to pick it up.
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Old 05-31-2018, 05:52 PM
  #10

You need to set some parameters or you ate going to have a miserable summer.

Take a look at the posts on here about your DD........almost all are negative because if her drama.

She's old enough to know better!


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Old 06-01-2018, 02:19 AM
  #11

Quote:
Take a look at the posts on here about your DD........almost all are negative because if her drama.

She's old enough to know better!
I know, you're right!
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Old 06-01-2018, 07:19 AM
  #12

Saw this on fb today and it reminded me of this thread
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Old 06-01-2018, 11:59 AM
  #13

ROFL Poohbear!! That's so appropriate!!
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