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Kteachaz Kteachaz is offline
 
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Student names
Old 12-09-2019, 09:14 PM
 
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Why are parents not naming their children what they are going to be called? I had a student join my class, and their mom got up in my face and was ready to fight me on putting the student's legal first name on the name tag instead of the nickname the student goes by. Now, in AZ, the standard is that a student should be able to write their first and last name. How are they going to do that if they don't even know their legal name?


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Old 12-10-2019, 12:46 AM
 
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Iíve seen this, too. My grandson is four and goes by a nickname in everyday life but, if you ask him his name, he gives you the full first, middle and last. Yet, like you, I see kids who donít even know their full name, let alone answer to it! I donít get it.
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Old 12-10-2019, 02:37 AM
 
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Why are parents not naming their children what they are going to be called?
Honestly, all kinds of reasons!

Examples:

My sister was named after my Aunt Dorothy Anne who died of cancer, leaving two toddlers. My dad could not bear calling her by his sister's name, so we called her Dori. She actually changed her name legally to Dori when she was an adult.

My cousin's parents were named Joseph Oliver Jr. and JoAn. They went by Joe and Jo. They named their oldest child Joseph Oliver III. To avoid confusion, they called him Mike.

Sometimes kids have multisyllabic names and it is much easier to call them by a nickname. If you were saddled with "Alexander" (a lovely name, by the way), you might prefer "Al".

Sometimes kids acquire a nickname in infancy that just sticks. My Aunt Eleanor was always called Lala, because she could not pronounce her name as a little kid. A friend of my son's (who is pushing 40) is called Scooter because he never crawled, he just scooted on his bottom. His given name is Nathaniel.

Sometimes a kid has an ethnic name that is difficult to pronounce, so they Americanize it...Wegene becomes Jack; My-Lien becomes Lee.

Yes, when kids go to school they should know their given name and be able to spell it...but many kids are not ever called by their legal name, so it would seem weird to them to have it on their name tag, the purpose of which is to tell people what to call them.

As a high school teacher, I am always amused at graduation when the students' legal names, including their middle names, are revealed! Many students are not very comfortable with having their full names announced to the world, especially if they are named after their Uncle Elmer or Aunt Gertrude...

I used to find it more irritating when I would be chatting with a parent and mention their child's nickname (which all their friends call them), and have the parent correct me to the child's full name. Really? You think everyone calls your kid Jason? Don't you know that everyone at school calls them Jay?
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I don't go by my legal name
Old 12-10-2019, 04:18 AM
 
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I am named after a close relative, but my parents called me by my middle name instead since I was born.
I had a principal at one time that felt as you did and absolutely refused to call me by my middle name because it wasn't my legal first name. I didn't work for her very long because that was just one of the many things she was a control freak about.

Funny story: One of my son's teachers in middle school had a form for the kids to fill out with their interests and any nickname. My son, being on the spectrum, invented a nickname, because he thought he had to fill it in. The teacher called him that all year.
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Old 12-10-2019, 04:46 AM
 
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I would think the K standard would be interpreted as able to write the name one is generally called with the last name. Has your system made a big deal about this or are you just being a stickler for the letter of the law? I have a long first name and a short nickname Iíve been called since birth. My youngest grandson has his grandfatherís first name and a family surname used as a middle name. Heís called by the middle name. Name variations have always been common.


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Old 12-10-2019, 05:38 AM
 
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I would think the K standard would be interpreted as able to write the name one is generally called with the last name.
This is how I interpret it for my students.
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Old 12-10-2019, 08:17 AM
 
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To avoid conflict (I really want to say the word 'nonsense') with the parent, I'd just ask the student which name should be written on the tag. If he wants to be called donut, litehouse or honeybadger (nicknames high school students in my building have used), let him. Whatever.

When these individuals need to sign an official document, I'm going to assume they'll write the name printed on their birth certificate.
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name
Old 12-10-2019, 09:35 AM
 
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My son, Curtis, is named after his Dad and Grandpa (we made everyone happy) His name is John Curtis Wilson Coopsgrammy. The only time we used his whole name was when he was in trouble.

When Curtis was in first grade, he finally asked, "How come every time I get in trouble, Dad is in trouble, too?" He had no idea his first name was John.

Last edited by Coopsgrammy; 12-10-2019 at 09:41 AM.. Reason: incomplete
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Not a big deal.
Old 12-10-2019, 10:01 AM
 
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We've never used our oldest son's first name, just a nickname. He was still able to learn to spell his legal name. Not a big deal.
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Sweetie Pie
Old 12-10-2019, 10:33 AM
 
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One year, our kindergarten teacher asked a student what his last name was. She said, "I know your first name is Chris. What is your last name?"

His answer: "Sweetie Pie. My mom calls me Chris Sweetie Pie."


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I think
Old 12-10-2019, 10:42 AM
 
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that parents get to legally name their children anything they want, and then they also get to call them anything they want.

What they don't get to do is "get up in your face" or fight you. Parents should have decorum about these things.

OTOH, if a parent were to say to me: Please put Anthony on his name tag instead of William, because that's what he goes by, then that's what I'd do. The parent wouldn't be in a fighting mood because I wouldn't give them any reason to be.
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Old 12-10-2019, 02:18 PM
 
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My son Benjamin has always gone by Ben and refuses to write Benjamin on anything because it just takes too darn long! It's never been a problem with teachers as far as I know. Also he didn't learn to spell his (long) middle name until fourth grade. I say let them decide what they want to be called unless its something just plain stupid. Donut? Really?
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Nicknames
Old 12-10-2019, 03:25 PM
 
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Most times when I've had a student like this, they've been Vietnamese or Chinese and have adopted a nickname that is easier for Australians to pronounce. I expect the child to write the name they go by, even if its not their legal name. Ideally they should be able to spell both- since I teach kinder, we work on that throughout the year.

Quote:
OTOH, if a parent were to say to me: Please put Anthony on his name tag instead of William, because that's what he goes by, then that's what I'd do. The parent wouldn't be in a fighting mood because I wouldn't give them any reason to be.
I agree!

This happened to me this year when the parents of twin girls named Francesca and Charlotte wanted them to go by Frankie and Charlie. Fine by me, I just changed their desk tags.
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Old 12-10-2019, 05:50 PM
 
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What they don't get to do is "get up in your face" or fight you. Parents should have decorum about these things.
This! The problem is not what they want to call the kid, it is in the mother's reaction. I have changed name tags before when I have found out that the child prefers a nickname or whatever. It's really not a big deal. The big deal is in how parents feel they can treat teachers with such disrespect.
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Old 12-10-2019, 06:56 PM
 
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Why was the parent hostile?

Plenty of people go by nicknames. It doesnít seem a ďfightingĒ kind of issue unless there was more to it.

I share a first name with my grandmother and a middle name with both my aunt and my mom. Iím called a shortened version of my middle name. Never been called my first name except on the first day of new school year or at a doctorís office.

I still remember in first grade being taught to spell our legal names and our everyday names both.
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Old 12-10-2019, 07:05 PM
 
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I write all the desk tags up before a student ever sets foot in my room and I laminate them. If they insist that we include a middle name I just add it in parenthesis in sharpie under their real name. A sub needs to know who the child is on a role sheet-you never know when an emergency will happen so she/he needs their full legal name and they also need to know what their full legal name is for safety.

Also when kids take state testing on the computer they need to type in their legal first and last name-they dont need to use it all the time but they do need to know it and be able to spell it and use it when needed.

perhaps you can give the mom these reasons to help her understand that there are important reasons for the things we do and that we aren't just trying to be abrasive.
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Maybe not a new thing?
Old 12-10-2019, 08:47 PM
 
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When my husband was in kindergarten he thought his name was Christopher Robin. His first name is Christopher. When his teacher wrote his real last name he got so mad at her and told her she was wrong. The teacher and his mom worked at breaking the news to him.
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Yes!
Old 12-11-2019, 12:28 AM
 
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We have several this year in Kindergarten. All my parents have been good about letting me know and not minding calling them by their real names too, but it also throws the kids off.

Not to mention that his real name is on the roster but he won't respond to substitutes, the aide, or parent volunteers if they call his name, so I always worry about like him being passed over in an emergency and being marked gone or something.
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Old 12-11-2019, 02:35 AM
 
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The very first day of school I was standing with my class by our lockers in the hall and a little boy comes up to me and asks if he gets a locker too. I asked who he was and he said "Kevin".

We are a fairly small school and I knew he was new so I brought him to the office. The secretary told me who his teacher was so I walked him down to her room. When I told her , "Here is your new student, Kevin!" she said that her new student was named Xavier.

I walked him all over school trying to find his teacher - Yup... he was a 3rd grade student who did not know his given name was Xavier, he just liked Kevin better and that is what everyone called him .
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I had to talk to my son's teacher
Old 12-11-2019, 11:09 AM
 
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about how he was writing his name. Papers would come home from preschool and I would notice he wrote his own name. His name is Christopher. I told her I expected her to either demand that he write his full, complete, first name or stop writing after the "s.' Yup, he would start writing his name get to the "t" and stop. After she stopped laughing, because she never noticed and I had several papers, She said, she would correct that immediately. There was only one Christ in that school! ! !
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Opposite Problem
Old 12-11-2019, 10:21 PM
 
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I had the opposite problem in school with my son. His name is Joshua and when he was in school, there were several of them (he's 20 now). Instead of Joshua and his last initial to differentiate, the teacher just decided he would be Josh, another student would be Joshua, and another JP (P being his last initial).

My son does not go by Josh and has never been called that. When he asked the teacher to call him Joshua or Joshua W (his last initial) the teacher refused. It took my husband and I going up there to talk to her about it. He was in 3rd grade at time. I never could figure out what the exact issue was with her. You just don't assign a student a name to make your life easier.
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Old 12-12-2019, 05:14 AM
 
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I had a jayden in my class one year. When conferences came parents kept talking about Zane. I had to stop and make sure I had the right parents. Turned out that he had gone by Zane ( middle name) his whole life. In first grade, he didnít tell me, so he had been going by hi first name.

I go by my middle name and always have. My youngest dd goes by hers, too. Never was a problem in school. However, she took a job at a major grocery chain one year, and they made her go by her first name. Yes, they all called her by her first name AND put it on her name tag. It actually ticked me off enough to want to say something, but of course I wouldnít. Thought about getting a job so I had a reason to fight it.
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Old 12-12-2019, 06:19 PM
 
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We have tons of kids who go by different names. Our enrollment forms have a place for a nickname. It's in the computer system so all rosters, documents, etc have the legal name AND the name the student uses.

That parent needs to chill.

With my kindergartners I teach their nickname first, then they learn to write their legal name.
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