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Old 01-03-2020, 07:32 PM
  #1

I have been my Dad's primary caregiver and house manager, property manager for the last 15 months.

I have lost 2 boyfriends in this time, in part, due to being crabby and not nice to be around at times.

I have been burnt out and experienced road rage, probably due to stress and never having regular time off.

My Dad is nearly 99 and very dependent as well as critical and bossy at times. I am 55. I have lost income from my work to care for my Dad.

Today i was really excited because my boyfriend and I planned on spending Saturday together. Then i found out my relief person was not going to cover for me.

Immediately i got on the phone and lined up 2 private pay workers and one agency worker! I have never done this before. Usually my plans would get canceled and invariably I would feel resentful and down. No more.

I have coverage from 10am until 11pm. My Dad has ample funds for this and he already knows all three of the workers. :-)

We plan to take a hike. Drive golf balls at the driving range, go out to dinner, and maybe watch a movie or play chess.

Dating escapades continue.


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Old 01-03-2020, 07:48 PM
  #2

Good for you. As caregiver I'm sure your needs often come last. But to be effective you need some time off. The day you've planned sounds great. Enjoy.
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Old 01-03-2020, 07:59 PM
  #3

Good for you!
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Old 01-03-2020, 08:17 PM
  #4

Good for you! I hope you do that more often.
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Good for you
Old 01-03-2020, 08:23 PM
  #5

I am glad you are taking care of yourself and arranged for your dad to be cared for as well. Have fun and enjoy yourself.


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Enjoy yourself
Old 01-03-2020, 10:35 PM
  #6

You have more than earned your time off. Your dad is lucky to have you.
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Old 01-04-2020, 05:07 AM
  #7

Your day sounds wonderful! I'm glad you've figured out some arrangements for your dad. It is so hard to think of ourselves in the midst of caring for aging parents.

Enjoy!
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Old 01-04-2020, 05:58 AM
  #8

It is so wearing to be a caregiver.

I hope this works out so wonderfully for you today that you will continue doing it regularly - maybe in addition to your regular relief person!

Taking care of yourself is vital.
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Old 01-04-2020, 06:11 AM
  #9

Great! I hope you enjoy your date!
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Old 01-04-2020, 07:08 AM
  #10

It is SO important to take care of yourself in this situation. My mom lived with me with the help of hospice during her last months. I often did not ask for help but should have. The day she passed away in my living room, I felt I had truly given her a gift of dying where she wanted to be. I am sure your dad appreciates your efforts. What an act of love!


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Old 01-04-2020, 07:56 AM
  #11

Caring for yourself allows you to better care for your dad. Glad you made it work for you both today. Enjoy!
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Old 01-04-2020, 08:11 AM
  #12

Have a great time! I'm so glad you are taking care of yourself
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Old 01-04-2020, 10:19 AM
  #13

Good for you! You deserve every bit of free time. I'm glad you decided to line up some people to relieve you. Being a caregiver is one of the hardest things ever, and if you don't take care of yourself, your own health gets compromised. Enjoy your date.
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Fellow caregiver here
Old 01-04-2020, 10:30 AM
  #14

Good for you! Enjoy your day!
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Old 01-04-2020, 10:40 AM
  #15

All of us caregivers here need to reactivate the caregiver board. Sounds like we need the support
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Old 01-04-2020, 10:54 AM
  #16

Good for you! You did the right thing and I hope you continue to do that whenever you have plans, or feel the need for a break!

Nancy
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Old 01-04-2020, 03:59 PM
  #17

I am happy to hear that you are choosing to take care of yourself. Enjoy your date and remember to do it often.
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Old 01-05-2020, 06:03 AM
  #18

I love you all. Such heartfelt and poetic words of understanding and support. Thank you!!!

Our date went extremely well. We also went to the music store & grocery store. My new guy treats me like I matter.

At the grocery I said, " Meet back at the front?"

He said, "Let's stay together. This is my store and I want to show you off!"
Then he focused first on searching first for something I wanted while i pushed the cart.

I am a Hallmark Movie Channel addict and long ago decided that MY life was going to be just like a Hallmark movie.

I met my new guy on New Year's Eve. I had been dumped via text by Fox40 guy and went to my local community center, alone.
I had volunteered for about 4 hours earlier in the day and had a good time hanging all the icicle lights around the perimeter of the hall.

My new guy told me he had watched me dance alone and eat alone. He asked friends if they knew who I was. One told him my name and mentioned that I had helped set up for the event. I am a dancing maniac, so he was hard pressed to make an opportunity to talk to me.

His first words to me were, "Do you want to dance?"

About an hour later it was midnight. He kissed me. Later he took me to Denny's.

Anyway, hopefully the dating escapades will now become a great romance story. It has a perfect Hallmark beginning.

Thank you all for the words of support and encouragement. I agree we could meet in the Caregivers Room. Everyone, please take good care of yourself. XO
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