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Haley23 Haley23 is offline
 
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Etiquette question re: baby gift
Old 01-07-2020, 08:07 PM
  #1

I have a former coworker who I became close to. We hung out outside of school and worked out together after school. A few years ago, she took a job at another school. We continued to see each other every 1-2 months. Two years ago, she moved across the country for her husband's job.

We've kept in contact via text/snapchat. Although we communicate this way often, obviously the friendship is not as close due to the distance and not being able to see each other in person. A few weeks ago, she texted me a picture of a baby announcement- very surprising because she was always adamant about not wanting kids, but that's irrelevant.

She's due in April, so it's not like she texted me the second she knew or anything. I would presume they told others months ago. Part of me feels like I should send a gift since we do still communicate so regularly, even though it's only via text. I know that if she were still local, I'd be invited to a shower, but I'm not expecting an invitation (nor could I afford to go) cross country for a baby shower. I don't have access to her registry nor do I know her address (I'd have to ask her for it). Should I just pick out something cutesy, ask to see her registry, or is that weird and not send anything at all?


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jvar87 jvar87 is offline
 
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Old 01-07-2020, 08:29 PM
  #2

You can probably search for her registry. Try her name (and maybe location) + baby registry on Google. If that doesn't work, try Target, Amazon, and Buy Buy Baby. I think those are the big three. If she is registered there, the address should populate itself for you when you choose to send a gift.
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Old 01-07-2020, 08:36 PM
  #3

Well, I'd say if you want to send her a gift, do it. But if you'd rather not, I think it's perfectly fine since you are not that close anymore.
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Old 01-08-2020, 03:51 AM
  #4

If you can find a registry, theyíll have an option to ship directly to recipient. I donít think itíll give you the address (but maybe).

If you canít find her registry you can just tell her you saw something and thought of her and would like the address to ship it.
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Old 01-08-2020, 04:49 AM
  #5

I would ask for her address and send a book or some cute baby socks to acknowledge the baby. I find lots of addresses on whitepages.com.


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Old 01-08-2020, 05:17 AM
  #6

I don't think you need to feel obligated to send anything, but if you want send whatever you like. A book would be nice. It reminds people that babies are not too little to read to! A small gift just for the mom is okay, too.

I also wouldn't feel weird about just getting the announcement. She would be 4 months along (a couple weeks ago) and depending on her body might not have shown much until then. Many people don't tell until after 3 months, so that sounds about right for announcing. If she really didn't want children and this was a surprise, it might have taken her a while to adjust to the idea, too!
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Old 01-08-2020, 05:45 AM
  #7

Kahluablast has made a good point about your friend waiting a few months to make an announcement. That is very normal.

I also like the idea of sending a book for the baby that poster gave. She will think of your kindness in sending that gift each time she reads that book to her child!
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Old 01-08-2020, 06:17 AM
  #8

I probably would send a congratulations card at this point; and send an actual gift after the birth. If I received a (token) shower invitation, I would send a gift after receiving it.
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Old 01-08-2020, 08:01 AM
  #9

I would send a card with a nice, handwritten note inside.
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Old 01-09-2020, 02:57 PM
  #10

You can send the gift after the baby is born with a congratulation card now. My niece used Baby List as here registrary [sp] just adding that to where you could check.


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