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Doesn't anybody teach obedience to their children?

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Doesn't anybody teach obedience to their children?
Old 08-18-2011, 02:59 PM
 
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We have the most disobedient group of young kids I've EVER seen. I mean K and 1st graders who will defy you to your face, but usually they try to pretend that they didn't hear you. (We're not that stupid.)

We're a tiny private school. How did we get more than our fair share? A scary thought...maybe this is our fair share.

This reminds me of all the people around the country who are falling over waterfalls, etc. That is so tragic, but completely preventable! All they have to do is follow the rules and stay behind the guard rails. They are called GUARD RAILS for a reason! Our whole society thinks the rules don't apply to them. I am fearful for these children (and our country) who don't realize they must follow the rules. We are ALL under authority. Trying to pretend like we aren't is crazy.


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Old 08-18-2011, 03:33 PM
 
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I teach upper elementary and it seems like in years past that was where the discipline problems were in our elementary schools. Not in the last couple of years. Last year the office was filled with little children and I couldn't believe the stuff they were doing. One child just was not able to stay in kindergarten. I think they were going to try again this coming year.

I remember walking by one first grade classroom last year and it was demolished. The teacher had to get the rest of the children out of the classroom so they wouldn't be hurt because of one child who was so destructive. Boy did that teacher look exhausted by the end of the year.

I certainly hope they are all straightened out by the time they get to 4th grade.
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It starts younger than that.
Old 08-18-2011, 03:59 PM
 
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I worked with 3-year olds for a while.

I was explaining to one girl, who was hoarding the play ponies, why we have to share. She kindly explained to me, "I don't have to share. Ever." She refused to share. Then her mommy showed and commented on ALL the pretty ponies she had, not making a remark about her having ALL of them and other children having none. The girl then left with her mom but not before turning to me and saying with conviction, "See, I don't have to share."

I could have screamed.
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Safe and secure....
Old 08-18-2011, 04:46 PM
 
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produces good behavior and this can only occur when adults set boundaries and consistentcy goes above all. Children will test to check for weaknesses and weaknesses they will find. This will not be a popular statement on this board, but teachers have a to have high self esteems and confidence levels to be able to take charge and set boundaries. I happen to believe that this can be accomplished while nuturing them and teaching them Who knows, I will probaly eat my words next week as I begin my journey once again.
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It is scary
Old 08-18-2011, 05:57 PM
 
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seeing how younger children are acting and treating adults. I am amazed at what some k-2 kids know these days. They are also very immature.

I also see many of them coming from split homes or very young parents. Unfortunately drugs and alcohol problems also prevail.


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Old 08-18-2011, 06:22 PM
 
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sain84,
Quote:
I could have screamed
I think I would have.

imagination wrote...
Quote:
This will not be a popular statement on this board, but teachers have a to have high self esteems and confidence levels to be able to take charge and set boundaries. I happen to believe that this can be accomplished while nuturing them and teaching them
I agree.

What's scary to me is that I'm at a private school. These are what would be called 'good families' by many. (I would disagree, though. I hear all the things parents would DIE if they knew I knew! ) But these aren't typical 'problem families'.

Thanks all. Maybe we did get our fair share.
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Old 08-18-2011, 06:57 PM
 
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I agree with the assessment that behavior is the worst right now with the little ones. I've been watching Supernanny. I am shocked when watching about basic discipline in a home, or lack of. I was a mom of little kids a few years ago and I never let them whine, nag, push or hit. Something is very wrong with this and it is causing huge issues all around us.
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What I observed is that adults (parents, but
Old 08-18-2011, 07:11 PM
 
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also teachers) will give a directive multiple times before expecting kids to comply. The kids will comply at the 5th or 10th directive, which is usually a yell. So kids don't think adults mean it until the yell comes. I have to constantly check my tendency to give too many chances. If I give a directive that is purposely ignore, then I'll say asking twice, pause, and give a consequence. I try really hard not to give second chances if well-understood and known rule is broken. I have to be really mindful, because I'll let things slide if I am tired.

As for waterfall railings--the same applies to zoo railings. Think of the stories of people who dangle their kids over the polar bear or gorilla exhibits to help them get a better look...
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Old 08-19-2011, 11:41 AM
 
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I am afraid for this latest generous of children, especially as they will be the ones that will be running our country when I am old and gray. Oh, I'm already old and gray. I should have said, older and grayer.

I do think too many families give too much to their children, except their time. The children have all the latest things, but want to spend time with their families, which they rarely get.

I love to listen to how the parent speaks to the child, especially when we first meet. OR, what they allow the child to do in our presences. I can tell what type of behavior I can expect from this interaction.

I agree, that setting rules in the classroom is important. I have been known to tell children that in my classroom I'm the boss and these are MY rules. When they are home their families can set any rule they want, but in my classroom they must follow my rules. That seems to help a bit.

I am working on not asking more than once or twice. I have found myself completely stopping and just waiting. I have found this strategies works better for me than repeatedly asking for their attention or whatever it is I am looking for at the moment. Sooner than later another child will say, "The teacher's waiting."

I wish us all a good year with hardly any behavior problems, but I'm not holding my breath. Until we teach parents how to parent I think we will be getting more and more of these types of children.

I also have found that many children that do not want to share are often only children and do not have play dates, but are with adults most of their time outside of school. This is a very difficult habit to break.

Another thing I agree with another poster are the drug and alcohol babies. In my area we also have lead babies. So many parents use this as an excuse for not parenting or for allowing their child to do whatever they want to do.
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Old 08-19-2011, 02:23 PM
 
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I appreciate the replies.
I, also, expect obedience when a child is told ONCE. I'm shocked how many times parents tell kids to do something. I've been waiting lately, too, until somebody notices I'm waiting. They use my time, I use theirs. I watch the clock. It's rarely more than a minute, but to little ones, missing a WHOLE MINUTE of recess because they used up the teacher's time is TORTURE. We sit in total silence for that minute...

I learned about only stating something once when DS was small. He's now 23yo, but I remember the day when he was little and replied, "But you only said it once!"


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Obedience
Old 08-19-2011, 08:53 PM
 
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2nd grade and we are all shaking our heads and wondering, "What are we in for this year?"

The incoming 2nd graders can't and won't listen, follow directions, or be quiet. The reading levels are all over the place; so, we're wondering how in the world are we going to form reading groups? Math is better, but we're leary.

Today, I sat for just a few minutes observing the class. They are good kids. Some are going to be really helpful to me and each other. One must have meds. Another's homelife is so rotten, my heart is already breaking for him. Then there is a child who on day two now has twice hit two different boys in the private area and will spend five minutes sitting on the line Monday while the other children play. One more time and it will be an incident report.

Generally, children expect to be told more than one time to do something and what do we do? We tell them more than one time. We are so nice, we want to be sure they hear us and we have their attention. NOPE, NO MORE. Once is all you get and that is it. Listen up or suffer the consequences. Problem is you can't do it to the whole class or some parent will call and complain that their darling wasn't doing anything wrong and yet he/she is being punished for the poor behavior of other children. Be careful new teachers!

Obedience is something that must be taught, learned, and practiced. With over 20 years teaching I have slowly seen the family dynamics change. Our hidden curriculum is teaching children social skills for it seems that too many are not be learning them at home.
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Old 08-20-2011, 05:08 AM
 
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I teach at a private school, and I notice that we are taking more behavior problems to keep our numbers up. Some of them do improve behavior being in the smaller classroom environment and getting attention. I have noticed in my experience kids are more disobediant, but look at our society and everything these kids are exposed.
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question
Old 08-20-2011, 05:52 AM
 
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What are lead babies??
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lead babies
Old 08-20-2011, 06:28 AM
 
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Lead babies are children that too often ate paint chips that had lead in them from the walls, toys, and other articles that had lead.

A number of years ago lead was in all paint products and many toys, to mention just a few items. There are still many children today that live in old buildings that had the lead paint on the walls. Many of these walls are chipping and for some reason some children are eating the chips.

From the Mayo clinic:

Definition


"Lead poisoning occurs when lead builds up in the body, often over a period of months or years. Even small amounts of lead can cause serious health problems. Children under the age of 6 are especially vulnerable to lead poisoning, which can severely affect mental and physical development. At very high levels, lead poisoning can be fatal.


Lead-based paint and lead-contaminated dust in older buildings are the most common sources of lead poisoning in children. Other sources include contaminated air, water and soil. Adults who work with batteries, home renovations or in auto repair shops also may be exposed to lead.


While treatment is available for lead poisoning, some simple precautions can help prevent it."


Read more about this subject at:

http://www.bing.com/health/article/m...lead+poisoning

Lead can also have an impact on the baby while the mother is pregnant.
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Old 08-20-2011, 07:23 AM
 
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Seriously???? Kids are eating the paint chips? Wow.

What behaviours do these kids exhibit, from your experience??
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depends
Old 08-20-2011, 09:45 PM
 
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Most of the students are very academically low and are easily distracted. It's as if they are awake with their eyes, but not in the same room. Very strange to see happen and very difficult to deal with. It is hard to teach most of these students because they have a hard time focusing and retaining information.


I've had some students that were extreme behavior issues, but I'm not sure it could all be blamed on lead poisoning.

As teachers we do not know a child has been exposed to lead unless the families inform us. There are tests the doctors' do in their office, but as teachers we are not privy to this information.
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Thanks
Old 08-21-2011, 04:51 AM
 
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I have certainly heard of lead being in toys, etc. but didn't realize that some kids had such high levels of lead in their bodies leading to medical issues. So sad.
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