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Getrgoing Getrgoing is offline
 
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Getrgoing
 
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Trying to Build a Relationship
Old 12-16-2011, 08:34 PM
 
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Here goes. Our eight elementary grade level teachers don't get along. There are two extremely stong willed people. One has been put in several positions and it has gone to her head. The other was hired by the principal because he played golf with her hubby. Two newby teachers were hired and they were placed with the two strong willed teachers who were to be their mentors. The other teacher goes with the flow and doesn't seem to think much for herself. The principal knows there is a click and has asked another teacher and myself to try and bring us all together. Okay, we are TRYING and it is getting TRYING. I can walk past these people and they will not look my way or speak to me. If I speak to them I get a short and I mean short reply. They share materials amongst themselves, but rarely do they share with us.

About three weeks ago I went to a Christmas Open House and spotted what I thought were some really cute snowmen. I put them in mailboxes with a to and a from card this past Monday. I received one verbal thank you that day - from the other teacher who is not in the click. I didn't expect a down on your knees thank you, but a simple thanks would have been nice. I SEE these people every day. The two new teachers hang with each other. I thought it was because of them not being sure of themselves, but my opinion has changed. I think they are down right snooty. I have made the decision to no longer try to be polite, nice, courteous, or respectful to any of them. They do not deserve it.


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thekoz thekoz is offline
 
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thekoz
 
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Rise above
Old 12-17-2011, 04:42 AM
 
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It sounds like you are on a pretty dysfunctional team, which seems to be more and more common. I think when you are dealing with cliques among people who are beyond middle school age, there is little chance that the bad behavior of those participating in the social drama can be changed. It has become deeply ingrained, and is behavior that they believe works for them. So I'd advise you against trying to change anyone or fix anything, because it will likely just be an exercise in futility. While I'm sure your principal's intentions are good, I think it might be more effective for the principal to consider separating those participating in the cliques if eliminating that behavior is the goal.

What you can control in this situation is your own behavior. Do not let the bad behavior of your colleagues impact you emotionally. Is your decision to no longer be polite, nice, courteous, or respectful to them going to make you a happier person? My guess is that it will not. You do not have to be BFFs with your colleagues, but you can be professional and courteous. It allows you to model appropriate workplace behavior, which can be helpful if there are other members of your team who aren't participating in the cliques.

If it brings you pleasure to share things with the team, then continue doing so whether you are thanked or not. If it makes you feel resentful or like a doormat, then don't feel obliged to share everything. I moved to a highly competitive team this year that does not share ideas. I decided to walk on the middle ground when it comes to sharing - I share a few ideas each month to model sharing to my highly competitive team and because it makes me happy to share. I also get a good response from a couple of team members who aren't so much into the competition, so I suspect there is a possibility they might start contributing more in the future.

Analyze your situation and make purposeful choices with your own behavior. Do not get emotionally invested with people who are only your colleagues. Choose your friends wisely. Focus on your professional responsibilities and limit your interaction with those who play social games. Good luck to you.
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CurlieGirl CurlieGirl is offline
 
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please, Santa, bring us some love and cheer.
Old 12-17-2011, 02:34 PM
 
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Oh my, yes. Faculty relationships are good, great, or "bleah". The problem I am finding, as the new teacher in the building, is that people who don't agree with how someone else is teaching something, or assessing something, or disciplining someone, want to pull me into their room and dish the dirt. My biggest fear is that someone who is being discussed will hear about it and think I was participating, or agreeing with the dishing, when I really was just squirming to get away!
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