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Nobody ever believed me.
Old 09-17-2020, 10:29 AM
 
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I've spoken to so many parents who were shocked to realize that their child was behind on their class work. I've heard multiple parents give the same two reasons for their cluelessness.

"He stays on the computer all day, so what is he doing?"

"She told me she was doing her work and turning it in."

I was a super trustworthy kids and a good student, but my parent never left me to my own devices. I could say I was finished, but I had to prove it. Internet wasn't even a thing until I was in grad school, and then it was very, very limited. Even so, my computer was in the family room where it was visible to both parents.

In the words of Gerry Brooks, "Parent. It's a verb."


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Old 09-17-2020, 12:18 PM
 
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This happened sooo many times last spring. We'd contact the families and they'd be shocked because the kid was on their device all day. What could they be doing? Hmmm, let me see: Fortnite, TikTok, Youtube, Netflix, Roblox, Insta, SnapChat, etc etc.

Now what happens is the kid turn in blank assignments on Seesaw and tell their families they're done because it's gone from their activity feed.

I get it that kids are going to see what they can get away with. But when did parents become so trusting??
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Old 09-17-2020, 02:05 PM
 
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Quote:
. But when did parents become so trusting??
This is what I don’t understand!

I got to the point with one student that every time the parents said, “But Johnny said XYZ,” I’d reply, “Johnny lies.” Even then, they kept believing him!
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I love it! I have heard:
Old 09-17-2020, 02:46 PM
 
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Love is a verb, but never "parent is a verb!" How true!
Yeah, when we were kids and finished math homework, we took it to our dad who checked it over.
If a problem was wrong, we had to go fix it. Heaven forbid, you missed it again. He had a PhD and did NOT know how to teach. lol So you would not make a careless mistake 2x on purpose.
If you truly did not get it, he would spend an hour on totally different problems he made up. So he was never giving you the answer to the problem on your paper.
He confused me beyond belief more times than I choose to remember. I remember being so frustrated. That motivated me to learn in class.
Also, on a more serious note, a friend of mine who died very young, told me if she had to do it all over again, she would not have given her teen daughter
all of the trust she had. By trusting her too much, she gave her the opportunity to screw up too much.
You can trust, but need to check.

P.S. - Gromit- OMGosh!!!!!!!!!! Too funny! Those are words I never told a parent flat out, but thought frequently!!! " Yeah, but Johnny lies!"
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Checking schoolwork completion
Old 09-17-2020, 03:03 PM
 
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Trust, but verify! Wise words someone else first said, and which parents need to heed.


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Old 09-17-2020, 03:11 PM
 
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P.S. - Gromit- OMGosh!!!!!!!!!! Too funny! Those are words I never told a parent flat out, but thought frequently!!! " Yeah, but Johnny lies!"
I started out much more diplomatic, but it was a daily occurrence and they had admitted it at one point, so I just went for the "let's not waste more time than we have to" method after that.
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Old 09-17-2020, 03:25 PM
 
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I just heard an interview this morning on the radio that talked about this school at home thing allowing parents to learn more about their children. This is true however many parents are in denial. My son had to have many many checks and balances in place to prove that he not only did the work but that he also turned it in
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Old 09-17-2020, 03:34 PM
 
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1x a kid who lied a lot did something really wrong.
I told Mom, who immediately called him on the phone to hear his side of the story.
I don't usually think so quickly, but told her, put it on speaker.

The second he answered, I asked, " Remember when the sub was here and you _______________?" The kid was like, "Yeah?" I loved it!
Confession and Mom believed me then. I think if I had taught much longer, I may have lost what little diplomacy I had left too!
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Parent is a verb
Old 09-17-2020, 03:40 PM
 
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I have had several instances of 'but he said he did work or attended Zoom meetings.'

Nope.

I put out a tactful announcement to all that on half the school days work completion is how you show you attended school. Made sure to include that there was a time and date stamp on each login that teachers and administrators can view.

Has not been much of an issue since that announcement.

I have not had to use it yet, but any work I assign can generate a report of how long they did the task, how many tries to get the correct answer and whether they completed the whole thing.

Of course I never thought I would have to justify muting a student because background noise was too loud.

So I may just keep assigning stuff with reports.
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Old 09-17-2020, 03:54 PM
 
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I will say that, even pre-pandemic, I always hated how much online homework my middle/high school son had. I have to basically sit right next to him to keep him on task. There are way too many distractions on the internet.

The computer is in a common area and we have strict rules, but they are so fast at hiding tabs and whatnot.

Having said that, I'm not in denial and I do hold him accountable for work completion, but I simply can't sit with him for the multiple hours he needs to be online for school each day.

He's 15 and doesn't have a cell phone or gaming system.

I am not around during the school day so I don't know how much he is off-task. I would much prefer offline work.


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Old 09-18-2020, 04:18 AM
 
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I'm not surprised that parents are struggling with this. Homework has fallen out of fashion in recent years. Most schools in my area have all kinds of study time built into the day, even in high school, so students who make good use of it usually don't need to take much work home. Students who don't make good use of it usually don't care enough to take work home. So, the days of parents sitting down with kids and being involved in their learning on a daily basis are, apparently, long past.

When you add online learning into the mix, they're really at a loss. I know my SIL doesn't have the faintest clue how Google Classroom works and wouldn't be able to help my GS figure out the due dates for assignments even if he were willing to help, which he's really not. So, I think sometimes they don't supervise their kids' learning because they're just totally out of their depth, but they don't necessarily want to admit that.

As to online distractions, again I'm not surprised. I know teachers who have given up trying to prevent their students from going to other sites when they're supposed to be working on an assignment, and that's at school where our networks block a lot of sites. The only way to prevent it is to arrange your room, or yourself, so you can see their screens. But parents often working from home themselves, or aren't at home, so there's a limit to how much of this they can do.

And yes, some of it is simply lazy parenting. It's so much easier to believe the BS your kid tells you than to admit you know they're lying and deal with it.
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Both of my kids were top students, but
Old 09-18-2020, 05:47 AM
 
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both procrastinated. You can bet they had to keep me updated on their assignments and progress, and whether they needed help. We also got progress reports between report cards. Do they still do that?

My daughter always knew to the point what grade she was carrying. My son was less willing to strive for the A if the B or B+ was doable without a lot of effort. There were a few struggles, I assure you, but I made them toe the line on academics. Always.
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Sometimes you have to call them out...
Old 09-18-2020, 12:14 PM
 
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I have a student who puts his iPad on a table NEXT TO the couch. All throughout the day we're constantly telling him to sit up and/or come into view. He's basically lying down on the couch. His mom is home with him. I know she can hear us because we can hear her.

Today I sent her a LONG text message explaining what he was doing, the excuses he is giving etc. Right after I sent that, I was telling him again to sit up when all of a sudden I get a response to my text. Two seconds later I hear, "SIT UP AND DO YOUR WORK!"
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Old 09-18-2020, 04:22 PM
 
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Today one of my 4th graders was messaging me on Zoom, telling me she was so sorry, but she had to leave class early. Her grandmother was making her go to work with her.

I said, oh don't worry, I'll text grandma and remind her about our class.

Kid: NOOOO! Don't text her!!

Me: I already did.

Yeah, grandma was sitting next to her, making sure she didn't leave the Zoom, when she got the text. Kid won't be trying that again.

But I realize not all families are able to sit with their kids and keep them on track.
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