So the other day I think I caught my principal off-guard: started crying accidentally in front of him in his office. I was slightly embarrassed, so I told him I wasn't feeling well either, which may have contributed to the tears. But it was really because he upset me so much and he knew that. I told him I thought I was too upset to get my class at that exact minute so he got my class for me (meaning I could get them when I was calm again) But before he got them he just went ahead and requested a sub for me and basically just sent me home and said "she's not feeling well" to the secretary. Good thing he did because I kept crying whenever I would think about it for several hours.... I was a lil surprised that the principal knew enough to just let me go home, kind of nice of him actually(of course I then found out I had a fever before I heard he was telling me to go home.) Of course, when I went into his office a couple days later he asked How I was feeling, and of course I told him I feel better.....And he was like, good.
Has anyone else ever had an admin send them home like that before?? Do you necessarily think that was negative or a sign of a slightly empathetic principal? You're probably wondering what I was cring about: he was really hard/harshon me w my observation/evaluation(beginning of year). I heard he was harder on others too. I've never had one marked down a lot my whole career, but it is one of the newer ones on a continuum...I know his marks will just make me a better teacher... I think when I feel ready I'll explain that he just caught me off guard as I wasn't expecting to be marked lower like that.... Yeah when I started crying/was upset he looked all surprised and alarmed...lol.
Last edited by basketball777; 09-27-2014 at 09:28 AM..
My P has sent people home or gotten coverage for them when they weren't able to teach because of being too emotional about something. He must have sensed you weren't feeling well, on top of the evaluation. Let it go, and be glad you have an empathetic principal. It's not like you were trying to get your own way. You're allowed to be upset once in awhile. My P is quick to hand over his tissue box. I've never cried in his office, but once I came close (don't recall why) but he went for the box and I told him, "I'm not going to be another notch on your tissue box!" Glad you feel better.
Unfortunately, my experience was different. My ex P was a jerk who actually drove me to tears on my way to work almost every day until I left that job. The one time that my emotions got away from me, it was after school and I was alone in my classroom when he came in. He used it to belittle me as an emotional, overwhelmed woman. He pretended to be kind (patronizing) and then went told people in the office he was late for a meeting because he was dealing with a crying mess. I was crying out of anger and frustration. Your P sounds like a good guy.
I have had times when I have not been feeling well due to illness or emotionally drained for personal reasons. I have had Ps who have told me to suck it up, I must have been ok to come in, so I need to stay. I have also had Ps send me home and get a sub. I good P will know that it is better for the students to not have a teacher who is overly emotional at the time. It sounds like your P understood that you needed time and made a choice that would be better for both you and your students.
I walked in to talk about something, started crying, and said I wasn't feeling well. He sent me straight home and I had my daughter 2 days later...turns out I was in labor and didn't know because she was 6 weeks early!!
Last edited by starwars; 09-27-2014 at 07:02 AM..
Reason: added info
I remember reading somewhere that crying at work is totally unprofessional. I have never done it. Yet, people are people and it happens.
Then again, it sounds like many of you were pregnant, having family issues, or just pushed to the limit. We have a teacher who is almost due and I know that she was sick and crying yesterday. I know she wants to spend the max time with her baby when born but she has been in no condition to work. I think everyone is sympathetic during difficult times like this. Plus, she is not an emotional person so it must be her hormones?
However, I can't imagine leaving early unless something horrible happened. Then again, like I said, I don't have kids at home or other people to take care of. My one friend at school has four kids and has been very upset at work due to her kids getting sick suddenly. Like if she needs to take one to the doctor or hospital, that can be emotional. Yet, on my bad days, I try to stay out of the office and vent to friends.
Then again, if I got a bad evaluation, I would be furious too. You just don't know until it happens to you. Try to make sure next time, you are prepared. I think it was really nice that he sent you home but does that count as a sick day?
DOn't be too hard on yourself. It could happen to anyone!
I wasn't sent home because of emotions. But I was sent home once. I sometimes have a REALLY bad time of the month. One day I was in the bathroom vomiting. Usually the vomiting relieves the pain and other symptoms. But when I came out of the bathroom my principal was standing there and told me to go home. I tried to explain to her that I was fine and this was a regular thing, but she still sent me home. I went home and slept the rest of the day.
I think being sent home because you're sick is okay but to be sent home because you're crying isn't. I don't know......I did cry once when the class guinea pig died. I don't think crying at work is terribly professional, but we all handle stress differently. I wonder if women cry as much in other professions as we seem to as teachers? My best friend had a very emotional year when she was not under contract and I think that's why she never did end up getting hired for a contract position. Administrators don't want to deal with that.
The principals I've had all seem horrified by tears. I cry easily, but try very hard to save it for Hallmark commercials at home.
Last year I was in the District Office waiting to sit on an interview committee. I overheard the Superintendent say, "I HATE teachers who cry."
I've watched male principals back up when a teacher cries.
I now have a young female principal who is also horrified by tears. I was once describing the grim situation of a student's family and my eyes began to fill. She looked like I'd sprouted a second head and shouted, "Don't cry! Don't cry!"
It's funny now, but it wasn't at the the time. My P thought he was RIFfing me and at the last minute the super decided to fire all nontentured teachers. I was the first teacher he met with and I was reading the letter saying I was fired. My P said I was RIFfed. We were "arguing" and I got so upset I started crying hysterically and almost vomited. He sent me home (he was almost as upset as I was-called downtown, etc). Turns out I was right, he fired me. 😉
My feeling is that he felt badly about making you cry, so he was trying to help you when he sent you home. The human side of him actually leaked out.
My principal is known to send people home when they are not quite up to par. At another school I worked at, I once got to school and felt very "off" and knew I couldn't face the day. My AP was kind and sent me home. She told me not to worry about it. She'd call a sub.
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09-26-2014, 09:17 PM
