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I know this sounds bad but...
Old 05-25-2020, 05:16 PM
 
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Hello, I just need to tell this to anyone who will read it!

I am not sure if I want to go back to teaching in the fall. I am a first year teacher and the stress was unbelievable. The Sunday night dread and worries have vanished. School discipline was not very effective and problematic behavior was the norm at school. Inattentive parents that wouldn't return phone calls or hold their children accountable for misbehavior and the daily stress of begging and pleading with students to complete work and trying to manage bad behavior was sheer exhaustion.

I don't have to worry about the cliques and low morale and being ignored and treated like an outsider and being totally uncomfortable all the time. Teachers skipping over seats to avoid sitting by me or talking to me. Teachers turning their backs on me so I wouldn't or couldn't participate in conversations. Teachers giving me information at the last minute or the cold shoulder. It wasn't every teacher but the saying "strength in numbers" is true. Work environments with adult bullies still exist. I spent many days and sleepless nights trying to figure out why this was happening to me. I didn't tell anyone what was happening because some of them have worked together for years and alliances and favoritism does exist so I didn't know whom I could trust.

Looking back over the experience, it was hate from the gate on day 1 of me being there. Their initial conversations in getting to know me centered around them asking and assuming personal things about me, my finances, and my life. So I wonder did I give a "she's not going to stay and deal with these behavioral and other problems" vibe or I just didn't give up enough personal information to form some type of "bond" with them. I am grateful and thankful for the experience. I admit I wasn't effective with classroom management and felt I would be more effective working in a different school culture that was more befitting for me and maybe this is the vibe I gave off but it doesn't justify any of the treatment. We are adults. As long as I treat colleagues respectfully and do my job while I'm there, my future plans have nothing to do with them. (I am assuming maybe this is why they acted this way). I wasn't trying to have an image that I don't have problems but the work place isn't the place to discuss my personal life among people I just met. I'm considered "too nice" and need to "find my voice" when it comes to classroom management. I do agree with this observation. I don't know if a school change would help or if teaching just wasn't for me. I'll have time to think about it over the summer.


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I hate to hear this
Old 05-30-2020, 08:52 AM
 
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I really do--but if you are sure it is not for you, get out now. Each year that passes can make it harder to walk away from... I have college debt and don't want more, I have money invested, I have time invested, my family is so proud of me, it'll get better, I'll make a difference, this is my skill set, and so on... The list gets longer.

But, on the other side--remember too-every first-year teacher has a terrible first year... If I hear different, I think they are lying. I feel lucky in that I was SOOO excited to be teaching that the adrenalin of the excitement helped deaden the edge of the stress and workload. I didn't realize how bad my first year was until I heard my child (then 10-11) speaking of it to someone else. She helped me realize.

And, don't let those cows, ahem, er..coteachers, even factor into your decision to stay or go-- It probably doesn't even have anything to do with you. Maybe they wanted a different candidate--a friend or family member--to get the position. Maybe one of them wanted your room assignment and was refused. Maybe they are just jealous and petty and didn't like your first name. Most likely, it had nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.
Not every school is like that.

I have a position now with a lot of individualism and anonymity. I kinda like it. I am positive I have colleagues who feel I am stand-offish or rude or whatever. But I am really introverted, like being a loner and I hate gossip. Seriously, I could be a hermit. I am older than the cliquish group and have a different sense of humor, sense of life, sense of being, etc. We are different people and I really don't give a blippity cluck what they think of me.
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Old 05-30-2020, 10:43 AM
 
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Please donít give up teaching because of the building bullies. Perhaps seek employment elsewhere. If you love teaching, donít let these teachers that act like high schoolers determine your career.

Unfortunately what you have experienced occurs everywhere and in all professions. I have a daughter who is probably around your age and she sees it at her workplace where she has an HR position.

I have been retired for a couple of years but what you are speaking about occurred in my building to mostly new teachers. And it was a select group of teachers that would ignore the newbies. I considered them the ďmean girlsĒ club. There was a handful of us who didnít buy into their high school behavior. Most of those mean girls are still in the building but I do believe in karma and somewhere along the way they will be the receipient of their meanness.

You have taken the high road and I applaud you for that. You have shown grace and maturity that they donít have nor probably ever will.

What was leadership like in your building? I noticed in my building that when the leadership changed, the mean girls came out. The first principal bought into the mean girls club and made no attempt to make changes. After that principal left, things got a little better for any newbies because the next principal was on to the antics of the mean girls.

If you truly love teaching, please donít let this year be your last. You will be able to find a building that is more welcoming than your current building.
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Thank You
Old 05-31-2020, 07:02 AM
 
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Thank you for your replies! I have taken a new teaching position in another district next school year! I will have my own classroom/space and this will help immensely with my mental health. Finding the right fit is vitally important - whether that be school, grade, or subject.
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Stay positive
Old 06-14-2020, 07:58 PM
 
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I'm sorry to hear your first year of teaching was not all that great. I'm glad to hear that you have changed districts and are giving it a second try. If you love teaching, you shouldn't give that up. I believe it's important that teachers support one another because being a teacher can be difficult and stressful. However, it didn't sound like you got any and so I can understand why you felt the way you did. I just hope you have a better year next year and fall in love with it. Good luck and don't let anyone bring you down.


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I had the same problem my first year.
Old 06-18-2020, 11:16 PM
 
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I decided to leave my school after my first year of teaching. I was in charge of assistants and they treated me like garbage. It was hell coming into work each day. Nothing came out of it. They are still there. Every day was like walking on eggshells with them. They did not want to do anything assigned to them and would get angry at me when I would assign them things. They took things too personally. One of them would talk to parents and spread stuff about me! I think another reason why they hated me is because I was young and I got paid more. They constantly complained about that. That is the real reason I left that school. I am going to give teaching a try this year in a different setting and different area of SPED than what I am used to. I hope this school is better.

Last edited by Lmc762; 06-18-2020 at 11:19 PM.. Reason: more info
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