I had to take DD home from choir early last night with an anxiety attack AFTER she had played her 3 oboe pieces for an upcoming church concert this Sunday afternoon. After she played several choir members were complimenting her, asking her questions about her grade in school - just making a big deal of how well she did. Found out today that those sincere words of praise and questions sent into a panic attack when it was over! I never realized this about her before. Anyone else out there like that with compliments and praise in front of others? Or have kids like that?
I do experience anxiety from compliments and such. I love the attention, but I just do not know how to act. The anxiety isn't bad enough to make me sick or anything, just causes me to walk away feeling like I don't have any sense.
Now that my life is 90% about teaching where I do, I don't get compliments anymore.
But when I USE to get compliments, I'd blush a bit and get nervous and bumble over my words a bit. Someone once gave me great advice: "Just say 'Thank you!' and smile!" Doing that might then make it easy to take the questions one by one with more ease.
And kudos (compliments) to you, Mom, for raising such a gifted musician!
because she is a young teenager. At that age many kids find it hard to accept compliments and feel shy about the attention. I am sure that she is happy to do well but may be uncomfortable receiving the attention (even lovely attention.) She will probably outgrow it or learn to accept praise as she matures.
wow- that sounds like a pretty strong case of social anxiety... she might benefit from a bit of counseling... maybe have her teacher or school counselour have a talk with her, about how to accept compliments and praise!
I sing and often feel emotional AFTER a solo is over. Beforehand I'm concentrating on what I need to do. Afterwards I sometimes have to leave the room and cry. For me, it's not compliments etc., it's the emotional/stress release when it's over. Maybe if compliments are hard for her it could be a combination of the two?
I hate attention of any kind in front of others. Yes, compliments stress me out and I would have also felt awkward. I agree that the best advice is to smile and say thank you. I get so much anxiety over attention that I even hate for my birthday to be noticed. It makes me uncomfortable. I have been on PT forever, and have not submitted my birthday to the birthday calendar!
Last edited by JenInWV; 01-25-2013 at 07:15 AM..
Reason: typo
Can come even with positive comments. It is the social attention on oneself that is hard. I find compliments uncomfortable now, but when I was younger and had serious social anxieties, any attention would make me feel discombobulated and jangle my nerves. I would think after an emotional musical performance you DD would be even more sensitive.
with really no social anxiety, I can talk to anyone. However, when it comes to being the center of attention or accepting praise I go into panic mode. I have even notified my board that I do not want to receive any recognition for service, will not participate in Teacher of the Year-had my friends who were counting the votes tear up and throw away all the votes that had my name on them and had the office remove my name from the monthly school newsletter where birthdays are listed.
And yet I make cake and cupcakes for everyone at school who has a birthday and I plan and give celebrations for every event coworkers celebrate.
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01-24-2013, 07:16 PM
