covid - I feel guilty, and judged - ProTeacher Community




      
Home Join Now Search My Favorites
Help


      Teachers' Lounge


covid - I feel guilty, and judged

>

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Sbkangas5's Avatar
Sbkangas5 Sbkangas5 is offline
 
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 7,955
Senior Member

Sbkangas5
 
Sbkangas5's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 7,955
Senior Member
covid - I feel guilty, and judged
Old 12-29-2020, 11:58 PM
  #1

I read all of the covid posts - people feeling resentful, angry, hurt, etc. I have friends and family on all parts of the covid spectrum (from "I'll do whatever I want" to "I won't go anywhere or see anyone at all"). I think it's good for me to hear what others think and feel because it's too easy for me to just stay in my little bubble and hear what I want to hear.

But I know I've made choices in the past 9 months that many will think are horrible and selfish. And I feel guilty, but I also feel like I'm in between a rock and a hard place. I let my oldest go to college and live in the dorms. Was there a risk? Definitely. Although they are doing a ton to curb the spread at her school, they are also teens and we all know how that goes. Was her risk of exposure more than it would have been at home? Of course. But dh and I went back and forth about it for a long time and decided that letting her go was the best choice for her and our family.

My middle son was offered a chance to play elite level hockey a few months ago (before everything spiked) - something that was very unexpected. He's a high school junior and wants to play in college and maybe beyond. So for him it's basically do or die time, and if he passed up the opportunity now it wouldn't come again. Do I wish that hockey was on hold right now? Definitely, but it's not (I honestly don't know how they are getting away with it, but they are). Do I feel guilty that he is playing and traveling? Absolutely. But with much debate and discussion and guilt, we decided to let him play because this is the only chance he'll get.

We wear masks. We social distance. We don't attend parties or even hang out with others aside from work. We limit our outings to what's necessary. We did the holidays with just us. We do what we can, but we have also made some decisions that do carry some risk and I know many people here will say we are being selfish and horrible and aren't thinking of anyone but ourselves. But it's not that. We've put many things on hold, forgone many opportunities, dealt with unemployment, etc., just like most everyone.

I don't know exactly what the point of my post is, but there's a whole lot of judgement around here and every time I see a covid post I feel that I am one of the people who is being called selfish and stupid and horrible. I guess I just want to put out the perspective that people are having to make a lot of decisions when it comes to how to live through this time, and just because we all don't (or can't) choose to stay isolated at home doesn't necessarily mean we are completely thoughtless and selfish. Like everything in life, it's not always black and white.


Sbkangas5 is offline   Reply With Quote

tctrojan's Avatar
tctrojan tctrojan is online now
 
Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 5,355
Senior Member

tctrojan
 
tctrojan's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 5,355
Senior Member
You are right
Old 12-30-2020, 12:13 AM
  #2

It is not always black and white. I understand why you feel judged. I think I am most "judgey" when people are bot wearing masks.
tctrojan is online now   Reply With Quote
elspeech elspeech is offline
 
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 1,654
Senior Member

elspeech
 
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 1,654
Senior Member

Old 12-30-2020, 02:01 AM
  #3

I don't think there are any clear cut answers. From what I've read and heard, the actual risks to your children are relatively low and as long as they are being responsible when around higher risk people I don't think there was anything wrong with your decisions.

Especially for your son. If his being on the elite team means he might qualify for a scholarship and a possible future as a pro hockey player, which could set him up for life, that is something he needs to pursue.
elspeech is offline   Reply With Quote
dee's Avatar
dee dee is offline
 
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 6,616
Senior Member

dee
 
dee's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 6,616
Senior Member
I understand
Old 12-30-2020, 03:04 AM
  #4

From what I can tell, you are taking this seriously and are informed.

You are doing what you can to minimize your risk while still trying to have a meaningful life during a pandemic.
dee is offline   Reply With Quote
Tori58 Tori58 is online now
 
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,437
Senior Member

Tori58
 
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,437
Senior Member

Old 12-30-2020, 03:11 AM
  #5

I think it's especially difficult to figure out what level of safety is appropriate when you have teens and young adults. One of my cousins is struggling with this; he has two college-aged kids and a 96 year old mother. It's a challenging situation, especially since he can't really control what his adult children do, or what his mom does. Her view is that she's been ready to walk on for a few years now but, as long as she's on this earth, she wants to see her grandchildren. I guess I understand that viewpoint, too.

I don't judge these kinds of situations as harshly as I do the people sitting in clubs and bars refusing to wear a mask and bragging about it. If your kids are being responsible about distancing themselves from people in high-risk groups, no judgment from me about going to college or playing hockey.


Tori58 is online now   Reply With Quote
Cassyree Cassyree is offline
 
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 2,456
Senior Member

Cassyree
 
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 2,456
Senior Member

Old 12-30-2020, 03:36 AM
  #6

Covid is a public health disaster and it's a judgy time.

After 9 months, you're aware of what the Covid posts are generally about. If you've made decisions for your family that you aren't going to change, I'd stop reading the posts from people who post the same grievances repeatedly. You certainly won't feel supported by those. You don't sound like a careless person to me.

People have strong but very different opinions about acceptable risk during this pandemic. In person church services have been a major spreader in my area. Even when 100 cases of Covid were linked to the same December service at a large Baptist church in my state, many pastors and congregations refused to make changes or accept blame. I can be judgy too.
Cassyree is offline   Reply With Quote
MAsped's Avatar
MAsped MAsped is online now
 
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 12,555
Senior Member

MAsped
 
MAsped's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 12,555
Senior Member

Old 12-30-2020, 03:48 AM
  #7

I understand and never judged anyone. You and others do what you have to do, while at the same time doing the best you can regarding cautiousness. For ME personally, it's easier than others to stay in my bubble because:
  • I don't have kids (of any age level)
  • I haven't commuted outside the home to work for the last 5 yrs anyway

Now I know that those 2 things above alone makes a TON of difference. PLUS, my mom, fiance', and I are all being extremely cautious. I think we're about as careful as one can be:
  • grocery store is the only place I go regularly in which I go at opening time M-Th. We don't want food delivered.
  • I only saw my Mom, who I'm very close to, only 2x in the last 9 mos and we only spoke OUTDOORS, AT A DISTANCE, AND KEPT MASKS ON
  • going on drives for an outlet in which we stay in our cars
  • we do walk in the parks and mostly a couple other OUTDOOR places, but walk way around people and have our masks ready and pulled up if we happen to pass by someone in a closer way


Regarding kids, if I had kids, in which I sure wouldn't get pregnant nowadays, I would want them to stay home and do remote learning. If they were anything like me, they didn't go out of state for college anyway. And I've earned an entire grad degree doing distance learning (even though I could have gone on campus). That was my last degree I earned, so I got my fill of the, "college experience", but I could have stayed remote the ENTIRE time and I would have been just fine. Some people just don't need that social interaction and can do just fine.

Regarding a job if I had to commute, yes, I'd seriously think of quitting and hopefully I could have, but I personally don't have to worry about that.


Then there are some (NOT talking about anyone here), who think they're following guidelines to a "T", but not really. I'm talking about some youtubers who've still gathered with non-household members all the time, even fly for non-essential travel, etc. Yet they think they're doing everything right. That's not being judgy. I'm just saying that what they do and that they think they're so careful are 2 totally different things.
MAsped is online now   Reply With Quote
AuntKK's Avatar
AuntKK AuntKK is offline
 
Joined: Jul 2009
Posts: 674
Senior Member

AuntKK
 
AuntKK's Avatar
 
Joined: Jul 2009
Posts: 674
Senior Member
Judging?
Old 12-30-2020, 04:07 AM
  #8

I think there is a difference between having honest natural feelings about otherís decisions and ďjudgingĒ them. I honestly donít know enough about the decisions your family makes to have an opinion about them. Nor do I care to.

However, I do think I have the right to my own feelings. My husband and I have not spent the entire night in the same room since March. He feels he is around too many COVID patients for it to be safe. We obviously, live in the same house, but we limit contact. He has had health issues due to all the extra hours and stress. He works 13/14 hours a day and some weekend days (he is in administration and is salary, so no extra pay). Peopleís decisions have negatively affected our lives a great deal. So when I hear about people in our community choosing not to follow CDC guidelines, I do have negative feelings.

[ We do what we can, but we have also made some decisions that do carry some risk and I know many people here will say we are being selfish and horrible and aren't thinking of anyone but ourselves.]

I was bothered by that statement. It sounds a little like deflecting. I feel like you may feel guilty and may be trying to deflect that guilt. Again, I donít know you and really have no idea what you are feeling. I was just a bit offended by what I saw as a response to my post about how I was feeling.

Also, just because teens and young adults usually have less severe symptoms, research shows that they spread the disease at the same or higher rates as older adults. Again, I am not judging you. I donít think it is necessarily a bad decision for college students to be on campus. I have young adult children and they are all extremely cautious as your children may be. Another poster stated that if your children were careful around at risk people it was okay, but they really need to be cautious about spreading the virus to everyone, not just at risk people.
AuntKK is offline   Reply With Quote
anna's Avatar
anna anna is offline
 
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 15,044
Senior Member

anna
 
anna's Avatar
 
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 15,044
Senior Member

Old 12-30-2020, 04:22 AM
  #9

Judgement is not a bad thing in some contexts. People have feelings however if feelings expressed are judging someone else due to that person's color or culture that judgement is wrong. Expressing feelings of frustration due to another person's travel habits or other behaviors that a person can control is understandable in a pandemic. Guilt is an inner voice; it makes us think and evaluate ourselves. I'm glad you have expressed yourself here sbkangas. It sounds as if you have well thought out all of your choices and feel ok about them
anna is offline   Reply With Quote
CatLove's Avatar
CatLove CatLove is offline
 
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 12,251
Senior Member

CatLove
 
CatLove's Avatar
 
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 12,251
Senior Member

Old 12-30-2020, 04:30 AM
  #10

I teach in person, and thereís nothing I can do about that. I personally think the risk is low plus I live alone so it doesnít bother me. I love being back face-to-face.

I did take a bit of a chance on Christmas Eve, I had only been away from the kids for a week. I didnít actually feel guilty, I felt scared that I couldíve infected somebody. I know the guilt wouldíve come if I did infect somebody.

I personally think if youíre out doing what you really shouldnít be doing (I have done one or two things but nothing blatant like being in a bar or on vacation) you should feel scared, not guilt.


CatLove is offline   Reply With Quote
happygirl444
 
 
Guest

happygirl444
 
 
Guest

Old 12-30-2020, 04:35 AM
  #11

I think people on here think they are venting when they post daily about this topic. Venting can sometimes be cathartic and helpful, but I think mostly it ends up in a lot of negative energy and aggression on here probably negatively impacting their mental health even more.
  Reply With Quote
Eccj Eccj is offline
 
Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 902
Senior Member

Eccj
 
Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 902
Senior Member
Sbkanga5
Old 12-30-2020, 04:45 AM
  #12

I think all of your decisions are reasonable. We canít stop living because of COVID. Your college student could definitely get COVID but the risk of serious complications are low. Your middle child needs to play hockey if that is what he wants to do because mental health is important too, especially with teens. You sound very reasonable and weighed your options. Live your life and ignore the haters.
Eccj is offline   Reply With Quote
h0kie's Avatar
h0kie h0kie is offline
 
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 7,490
Senior Member

h0kie
 
h0kie's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 7,490
Senior Member
I get where you are coming from
Old 12-30-2020, 05:06 AM
  #13

I get exactly where you are coming from. Weíre in much the same place.

My DS has been back in school (private school for kids with autism) since July. Even in this thread, people talk about how theyíd be pulling their kids out of school and doing remote only. Remote only doesnít work for my kid. March - June was awful...the regression was horrifying. The growth in the 6 months since heís been back in school has been astounding. Heís on his first ever 2 week Christmas break and heís struggling. I say again, remote does not work for my child.

Furthermore, most of the kids at his school canít/wonít wear masks. His school is taking every precaution they can and are being overly careful not only with the kids but with the staff. I *feel* judged every time someone spouts that if a child wonít wear a mask they should be required to be remote, no discussion. Him being in school requires me to drive him over an hour (one way) every day so I do not have the luxury to just stay home either. Instead, I run whatever errands I need to run and then I plug in my electric car blanket and sit in my car. Iím not out galavanting potentially putting my family and his teachers at risk. I am trying to keep the risks we must take to a minimum. When I find cleaning supplies in a store, I buy them and send them to school with DS because my priority is keeping him, his classmates, and his teachers/therapists safe. DH and I know we are doing what is best for DS so judge away. Iíve stopped letting it get to me.

My DH is an athletic director so similar to your son, his whole job is sports. I, too, find it a little absurd that theyíre playing sports right now but that is what the superintendent has decided. Iím thankful though because it means he has a job.

Otherwise, we stay home. Itís really hard on DS not going to his favorite places, but we are making the decision to limit his/our exposure to groups of people. Not many people I know have the luxury of staying home, collecting a paycheck, and never leaving their home. It would be great if they did, but itís just not the way our country works. If people want to eat/keep their homes, they have to work. Our family has made the choice to do the things we have to do as safely as we can. We donít take unnecessary risks if we can help it.

As some have said before in other posts, I decided several months ago to stop worrying about what everyone else is doing. Yes, people do things that I find questionable (and I give them the side eye) and I stay far, far away from them but I have more than enough to worry about keeping my own family safe.
h0kie is offline   Reply With Quote
msd2
 
 
Guest

msd2
 
 
Guest

Old 12-30-2020, 05:09 AM
  #14

There has to be balancing in combating COVID. Other health is important too. Right now the number of people harmed by the lock down is huge.

As for people being judgy. You read that right. There is a good subset of the population judging and some are downright nasty about it. Many use "bullying" tactics to try to influence by name calling and character shaming. Do what is right for you and your family.

Would I have made the same choices as you? Maybe. But I would have to look at my current situation and interactions to decide what is best overall as you did. Every situation is different.

Examine what your current issue is. Do you really feel guilty or just hate being called names?
  Reply With Quote
Hifiman's Avatar
Hifiman Hifiman is offline
 
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 24,085
Blog Entries: 8
Senior Member

Hifiman
 
Hifiman's Avatar
 
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 24,085
Senior Member
I really appreciate your post
Old 12-30-2020, 05:20 AM
  #15

I think I get exactly where you are coming from. This is a really difficult time for us all. And making the situation worse is lack of consistent information.

People are judgmental. I posted a while back about people doing work on my house while not wearing masks. I didn't like it. I wore my mask and did my best to keep my distance. A few here on PT made an issue of it. I get it. But any homeowner will tell you that there are repairs that come up that must be done to avoid further damage and 3/4 of the battle is getting someone to show up. You don't turn them away but you take the best precautions you can. The thing is I can't get upset at the comments because I'm just as judgmental as they are, for covid and many other aspects of life. It's sort of like my decisions are good and necessary, everyone else's aren't.

I have felt guilty about a couple of recent events too. I reached my breaking point right before Thanksgiving. I had to get out of the house. We did an Airbnb literally just to sit in another house in a new area. We traveled safely and on the second day we did decide to drive 3.5 hrs each way to visit our son and his girlfriend and briefly her parents for a total of 3 hours, but we did so with masks. I debated canceling because of the travel recommendations. It seemed almost criminal, but we were basically committed to going. We had scheduled our fumigation for termites during this time and set up boarding for our dogs. We had already canceled once because of covid. Yada, yada, yada, I very much needed the trip but I felt guilty about it the whole time.

More recently our son and his girlfriend told us they were coming a couple of days before Christmas and leaving Christmas morning. It felt so wrong, but this was something my wife really needed and for her it was worth the risks. The only thing we can say is that we believe them when they tell us they limit their risks in their daily lives. It was taking a chance. We hope nothing comes up in the next week to make us regret our decision and as usual we are keeping to ourselves so the risk to others around us shouldn't be an issue. But yeah, it feels like a cloud hanging over my head that we did this.
Hifiman is offline   Reply With Quote
Eccj Eccj is offline
 
Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 902
Senior Member

Eccj
 
Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 902
Senior Member
h0kie
Old 12-30-2020, 05:22 AM
  #16

You are doing the right thing for your son. I am teaching in person and to some students online. It is just better to be in person for most students regardless of their learning abilities. We have been doing everything for our students to reduce the risk of exposure, and the students have been so happy this year. There will never be a ďno riskĒ solution, so we minimize the risk and march on.
Eccj is offline   Reply With Quote
Tori58 Tori58 is online now
 
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,437
Senior Member

Tori58
 
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,437
Senior Member

Old 12-30-2020, 05:36 AM
  #17

Quote:
Another poster stated that if your children were careful around at risk people it was okay, but they really need to be cautious about spreading the virus to everyone, not just at risk people.
Well, really, I think everyone should be wearing masks in public all the time but since, really, in many places people are taking no precautions whatsoever, then really, I completely understand a parent not being willing to deprive their children of college or hockey. And I believe that, really, the OP said that her family wears masks and practices social distancing.

When I say keep their distance from people at high risk I mean stay away from them completely not stay six feet away (which most people gauge at about four feet).
Tori58 is online now   Reply With Quote
teachnkids's Avatar
teachnkids teachnkids is offline
 
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 26,658
Senior Member

teachnkids
 
teachnkids's Avatar
 
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 26,658
Senior Member

Old 12-30-2020, 05:42 AM
  #18

I think your decisions are well thought out and you are all doing the best for your family.

College campus life is important and I don't know what I'd do if I was put in that situation. DD is in college, but most of her work can be done online as a PhD student, so they told her not to come back to campus. My worry is college kids think they're invincible and will engage in riskier behavior. It might not be them that's affected, but a family member.

Hockey child...I am even more glad I'm not in your shoes. I really can't say what I'd do, but pwith the info you gave my child probably would be playing. I too think sports is not something that needs to happen, but I sure watch every game on TV that my team plays! My kids are HUGE hockey lovers and play recreationally. They've both said it can wait until this crap is over. Big difference in recreationally and potential career.

Have I judged here? I'm sure I have. Some are being over the top, IMO, careful and others are being dismissive about the whole thing. Dismissive, thinking it's a hoax bothers me way more than someone being more cautious than me.

Have I been perfect? NO! But I've done everything I can to be safe.
teachnkids is offline   Reply With Quote
amiga13's Avatar
amiga13 amiga13 is online now
 
Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 22,083
Senior Member

amiga13
 
amiga13's Avatar
 
Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 22,083
Senior Member
SBKangas
Old 12-30-2020, 05:49 AM
  #19

I have been accused of being overly cautious right here at PT. Do I feel judged or bothered? Nope, my decision.

I remember some of your posts here. In addition to continuing sports and school, you choose to go into stores (other than groceries) and on vacations with others (outside your bubble) during the pandemic. You make your own choices and thatís fine for you. You make choices for your family that you think are best for them. But please remember that some of us arenít comfortable being around your family who has chosen to have a very wide net of exposure. So in response to you I say, Iím not judging you, but I choose not to be anywhere in your sphere and I hope youíre not judging me either.

We are all adults here at PT and we all have to make decisions. While I try not to rationalize, I am not comfortable with some of my own decisions:
*My DD works from home and is super rigid about following mandates, but she is not in my bubble. I choose to see her on holidays. That is a risk we take.
*I have a lesion on my leg and have gone as far as possible with evisits. I have an appointment to see a doctor at a huge medical facility (not a hospital) on Monday. Am I worried about being around others? Absolutely. But the doctor has said the pictures look like skin cancer and it needs to be seen. My choice, my risk.

I like you and do not want to offend any PTer, but I think we need to admit our responses to the pandemic vary and we donít all agree about what is safe. We do, however, agree that we each determine our own levels of risktaking and hope that we are all educated about the virus and its effects.
amiga13 is online now   Reply With Quote
choppie70's Avatar
choppie70 choppie70 is offline
 
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 6,747
Senior Member

choppie70
 
choppie70's Avatar
 
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 6,747
Senior Member

Old 12-30-2020, 06:27 AM
  #20

I agree with you. I have felt that some posts come off as a bit judgmental, even if that was not the intention.

It is perfectly fine for people to vent, but when they call people selfish or foolish because they are not following the exact precautions they are it is human nature to feel on the defensive.


I live in an area that has not been hard hit by COVID (although our numbers are rising now). My summer was a "normal" summer for me. But, we are not extremely social people - we do not go out to eat much, we don't go to movies, we don't really shop that much. We enjoy the outdoors so we were able to boat, swim, hike, etc. like we always do.

We had family over for my 50th birthday (about 10 people) and we had Thanksgiving and Christmas at my sister's house (the same 10 people). We mask up in public, sanitize and stay away if we are not feeling well at all. They are family that I consider part of my close bubble even though I don't live with them. My niece drives my daughter to school each day (out of necessity), so DD is at my sister's house regularly.

I work in a school, DH is a grocery store manager, BIL is an EMT.

Do I feel like I am being cautious? Yes, I am doing what I can. But with my circumstances, I am not able to shelter in and not go anywhere.
choppie70 is offline   Reply With Quote
word girl's Avatar
word girl word girl is offline
 
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 1,758
Senior Member

word girl
 
word girl's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 1,758
Senior Member

Old 12-30-2020, 07:02 AM
  #21

Quote:
every time I see a covid post I feel that I am one of the people who is being called selfish and stupid and horrible
I've read most every Covid post and while I do see the word selfish, I have not seen anyone called stupid and horrible.

I get it. It's hard to feel judged. But I think that is exaggerating.
word girl is offline   Reply With Quote
GreyhoundGirl's Avatar
GreyhoundGirl GreyhoundGirl is online now
 
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 22,866
Senior Member

GreyhoundGirl
 
GreyhoundGirl's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 22,866
Senior Member

Old 12-30-2020, 07:05 AM
  #22

Everyone needs to do whatís best for them and their family at this point (short of wild parties).

I donít think anyone needs to rationalize their choices. People have different levels of fear/comfort and risk factors.

It is what is. We all just need to stay safe and stay polite and kind.
GreyhoundGirl is online now   Reply With Quote
twin2 twin2 is offline
 
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 16,457
Senior Member

twin2
 
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 16,457
Senior Member
quite honest
Old 12-30-2020, 07:13 AM
  #23

I don't always have time to read every response in a post with many responses, but I did read them today. This issue is so important, and it seems people are being quite honest. Last week I had said I wasn't angry with anyone for their responses to me about Covid. I have been so careful and have become upset about those in my life who don't want to be as careful as I am. Then I have made choices at times that probably weren't the smartest. We are consistently careful, so those few times we went against better judgement have left me paranoid and feeling guilty. Yet those times that we didn't make the smartest decisions, we were masked, and took all the precautions we know to be safe. We haven't all and out defied CDC guidelines but some people felt we took too big a risk. Regardless, it seems the people privileged to stay home during Covid tend to be the most cautious, and subsequently, the ones living in fear the most. The ones who work jobs that require them to be out in the public seem to have accepted that they have to be out there seeing people every day and if they wear their masks, wash their hands or use hand sanitizer, and distance as much as possible, they will likely be okay. Now that statement itself is judgement, or maybe its just my opinion based on my experience. My husband has to be out there every day for his job and I am privileged to work remotely. We went back to school face to face in a hybrid situation and the more time that passed, the safer I felt, until the numbers started to go up again. Now, just before break, our superintendent announced that they will not wait for the rates to get back to the 5 percent positivity rate that closed schools. Once numbers start going down we can go back based on the latest CDC reports that schools can be safe for children if the proper protocols are in place. That makes me so nervous. I know we experienced low numbers of covid, but the whole reason we closed again was the number of staff out as the county's positivity rate went above 5 percent. I feel like they are changing the guidelines and it scares me. The kids might be safe, but what about the older adult staff? One thing I have learned with Covid is not to judge others based on my opinions. My opinions change based on what I've experienced or otherwise learned. My needs change and sometimes my decisions are based on the needs of others. The school system and county can't even keep the rules the same, so that shows me we're all just doing the best we can with the ever changing factors we face. I chose to post about my family's Christmas plans because I had been so openly against it before. I posted about my family's change of plans at Christmas because I felt like it would be a lie if I didn't. I said for months that we wouldn't gather, but after not gathering for Thanksgiving, I watched what it did to my husband and oldest son. My oldest son is going through something I can't put my finger on and seems to need the family connection. We had one daughter come over the night before Christmas and the oldest son came over Christmas Day. The other daughter came over for five to ten minutes during each visit to bring gifts and say hello. The visits were brief. I opened windows. We all stayed masked. We didn't serve food. Its what we did, but I still respect those that opposed my actions. I hope PT can continue to be a place we can post openly about Covid and it truly just be discussion, not a place of judgement.
twin2 is offline   Reply With Quote
brooks56's Avatar
brooks56 brooks56 is offline
 
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 2,112
Senior Member

brooks56
 
brooks56's Avatar
 
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 2,112
Senior Member
Covid
Old 12-30-2020, 07:16 AM
  #24

I agree with you that many people on PT are judgmental. There are varying degrees in dealing with this virus and different areas of the country are in different levels of Covid. I don't judge people on how they're coping with this epidemic, but I do avoid people who won't wear masks and think it is a hoax. I do go out to stores a few times a week and maskup and sanitize before and after entering stores.

We did go on vacation in the summer and sanitized our room and were very careful. I'm sure some people did not agree with that, but it was our decision. We have eaten out in restaurants and have felt very safe because we go at offtimes and are separated from other diners. We also had our family Christmas and Thanksgiving with our immediate family.

I am 64 and retired and also a cancer survivor. My husband and I are both retired and are lucky that we do not have to be around a lot of people. We don't judge others on their decisions, but make our own choices on who to be around and who to stay away from.

By this age I have developed a thick skin and do not care what others think about my choices. I see a lot of strong opinions on here calling out other people and don't think it is right. They are some of the same people bullying and arguing on the politics page that I do look at, but don't post on, because of the hate spewed there.
brooks56 is offline   Reply With Quote
Lilbitkm's Avatar
Lilbitkm Lilbitkm is offline
 
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 2,956
Senior Member

Lilbitkm
 
Lilbitkm's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 2,956
Senior Member

Old 12-30-2020, 07:19 AM
  #25

Quote:
I don't know exactly what the point of my post is, but there's a whole lot of judgement around here and every time I see a covid post I feel that I am one of the people who is being called selfish and stupid and horrible. I guess I just want to put out the perspective that people are having to make a lot of decisions when it comes to how to live through this time, and just because we all don't (or can't) choose to stay isolated at home doesn't necessarily mean we are completely thoughtless and selfish. Like everything in life, it's not always black and white.
Sbkanga, I don’t have much to add to the discussion but I have been feeling the same way after reading multiple posts over the past few weeks/months.
So, just wanted to say thank you for your post.


I do also think it’s easy to say what you would do if you had kids or lived alone or had to report for work in person, etc.
However, nobody knows what they would actually do unless they are in the same exact situation.
Lilbitkm is offline   Reply With Quote
imatchr2's Avatar
imatchr2 imatchr2 is offline
 
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 1,820
Senior Member

imatchr2
 
imatchr2's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 1,820
Senior Member

Old 12-30-2020, 07:25 AM
  #26

I guess I’m one of those posters who is thought of as being judgemental. But it works both ways. I too feel judged by those who choose to “live” as they put it. Calling it bullying is also being judgemental, when you think about it. So is being told that I am living in fear and perhaps I should stay home. Like I said, judgement goes in the other direction too.

If only choices would only affect ones own family. But they don’t.

I’m surprised that sports at that level is happening. Our provincial numbers are nowhere close to the US numbers but all team sports are shut down. All college and universities are online only.

And I make no apologies for thinking that those who refuse to wear masks are selfish and not pro-life.
imatchr2 is offline   Reply With Quote
amiga13's Avatar
amiga13 amiga13 is online now
 
Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 22,083
Senior Member

amiga13
 
amiga13's Avatar
 
Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 22,083
Senior Member

Old 12-30-2020, 07:26 AM
  #27

Quote:
I do also think itís easy to say what you would do if you had kids or lived alone or had to report for work in person. However, nobody knows what they would actually do unless they are in the same exact situation.
Brilliant. Thank you, Lilbitkm.
amiga13 is online now   Reply With Quote
MalloryJames MalloryJames is online now
 
Joined: Jun 2020
Posts: 611
Full Member

MalloryJames
 
Joined: Jun 2020
Posts: 611
Full Member

Old 12-30-2020, 07:32 AM
  #28

Sbkangas, I understand how you feel. We get curbside groceries and take out, but we also have to work to pay for those foods. We have a big family with lots of young kids and do see our each other, outside around the fire pit mostly. I cannot keep my kids inside for months on end. Posters who say it's only a few months are not 8 years old. It really IS forever if you are very young.

The only thing that really frosts my cake are people who refuse to wear masks and rant about their rights and make fun of people wearing masks.

Quote:
I guess I just want to put out the perspective that people are having to make a lot of decisions when it comes to how to live through this time, and just because we all don't (or can't) choose to stay isolated at home doesn't necessarily mean we are completely thoughtless and selfish.
MalloryJames is online now   Reply With Quote
Englishish's Avatar
Englishish Englishish is offline
 
Joined: Jan 2020
Posts: 374
Senior Member

Englishish
 
Englishish's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2020
Posts: 374
Senior Member

Old 12-30-2020, 07:33 AM
  #29

Sbkanga5, you donít owe us an explanation and you have nothing to feel guilty about. I can see why you feel judged based on the responses to these threads because most posts, including mine, are judgmental. Itís human nature to sum up other peopleís behavior, right, wrong, or otherwise. For what itís worth, I donít see that you have anything to feel guilty about. Youíve made the best decisions you can based on the information available to you at the time. Thatís all anyone can ask of you.
Englishish is offline   Reply With Quote
Jackie's Avatar
Jackie Jackie is offline
 
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 4,395
Senior Member

Jackie
 
Jackie's Avatar
 
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 4,395
Senior Member

Old 12-30-2020, 07:55 AM
  #30

You don’t owe anyone an explanation why you made those choices for your family. I agree with your choices by the way. My kid was playing ice hockey also...until the Governor shut that down.

I do go out occasionally to restaurants to eat indoors, I go shopping, and I am willing to travel although I haven’t yet. I do wear masks and keep my distance. I have seen friends occasionally. I see family a lot. Honestly.... IDGAF what someone here might think. I’m sorry for my brutal honesty but it’s how I feel. I don’t need to explain myself here.
Jackie is offline   Reply With Quote
calumetteach's Avatar
calumetteach calumetteach is offline
 
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 1,783
Senior Member

calumetteach
 
calumetteach's Avatar
 
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 1,783
Senior Member
I think you do
Old 12-30-2020, 08:02 AM
  #31

What is comfortable and safe for you. I have felt guilty shopping inTarget or anywhere really. I’ve also ordered things via Amazon who does NOT need money. I feel guilty getting things from Amazon just because I think Bezos is a selfish entitled person. Where is his role in giving back to people who are hurting...that is another post.

I think you do what you need to. I know more and more people who have or have had Covid. My son goes to college. I don’t feel guilty at all about his going. I think he’s safer at school to be honest. His school had less than 15 kids with Covid and they did regular testing.

We helped my brother pack up a house this summer and then quarantined after. We did a three day lodging in another state...the place we stayed at was hurting for money. We have done take out for a treat and to help restaurants. If I see someone with a mask below their nose I am angry in my head. If you were going to a big gathering I’d not be happy.

There’s enough to worry and feel guilty about. My take is you are being careful while taking care of your family.
calumetteach is offline   Reply With Quote
hand's Avatar
hand hand is offline
 
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 6,372
Senior Member

hand
 
hand's Avatar
 
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 6,372
Senior Member

Old 12-30-2020, 08:09 AM
  #32

I donít think you should feel judged. I believe that in almost anything there are exceptions. I appreciate reading other points of view. It helps me to understand. It helps me to plan what I do or the exceptions that I will make.
hand is offline   Reply With Quote
word girl's Avatar
word girl word girl is offline
 
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 1,758
Senior Member

word girl
 
word girl's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 1,758
Senior Member

Old 12-30-2020, 08:13 AM
  #33

Quote:
But it works both ways. I too feel judged by those who choose to ďliveĒ as they put it. Calling it bullying is also being judgemental, when you think about it. So is being told that I am living in fear and perhaps I should stay home. Like I said, judgement goes in the other direction too.
I agree with this - being judgmental goes both ways.
word girl is offline   Reply With Quote
imatchr2's Avatar
imatchr2 imatchr2 is offline
 
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 1,820
Senior Member

imatchr2
 
imatchr2's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 1,820
Senior Member

Old 12-30-2020, 08:24 AM
  #34

I think amiga said it best.

Quote:
You make choices for your family that you think are best for them. But please remember that some of us arenít comfortable being around your family who has chosen to have a very wide net of exposure. So in response to you I say, Iím not judging you, but I choose not to be anywhere in your sphere and I hope youíre not judging me either.
The choices that one person or one family makes can affect other people. Colleagues. Other family who may not be aware. Strangers at a store.

I agree with Jackie. I feel very comfortable with my choices and opinions. I donít care that others may think Iím being judgemental.
imatchr2 is offline   Reply With Quote
Teacherbee_4 Teacherbee_4 is offline
 
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 8,845
Senior Member

Teacherbee_4
 
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 8,845
Senior Member
Covid
Old 12-30-2020, 08:28 AM
  #35

I'm sure I'm judged on here. I totally understand the severity and risks COVID has. However, I don't feel like I can stop "living my life" completely. I'm cautious. I wear a mask. I social distance. I don't go out near as much as I did pre-COVID. It's still very limited. We've been in person all school year, so I go to work everyday. I go to church at least once a week. I'll go to the grocery store once a week. I did go to the gym this summer, but now that we have to wear a mask while exercising, I don't. I don't go to large gatherings. I haven't seen my niece or other family. I haven't traveled out of town.
Teacherbee_4 is offline   Reply With Quote
Youthcantknow's Avatar
Youthcantknow Youthcantknow is offline
 
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 982
Senior Member

Youthcantknow
 
Youthcantknow's Avatar
 
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 982
Senior Member
It's OK
Old 12-30-2020, 08:31 AM
  #36

Honestly, we are all making big and little decisions on a daily basis in a situation that we never thought we'd experience. Some decisions are clearly bad - being one of those people that smirks in a crowd as they walk through without a mask. Or showing up on the news with a big crowd partying. Those are the people I judge. The rest of us are just doing the best we can and I won't judge anyone for that. I think most of us feel guilty about some of our decisions and are aware that others may make different decisions. Yesterday I went to the store to buy a shower curtain. Yes, I could have ordered one online. But I didn't. And yes I feel a bit guilty...but deep down I don't really expect to get COVID from that trip. And I'm sure that you have considered your risks as you've made your decisions, too. We mitigate the risk as best we can in a crazy world.
Youthcantknow is offline   Reply With Quote
jazzer jazzer is online now
 
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 5,974
Senior Member

jazzer
 
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 5,974
Senior Member

Old 12-30-2020, 08:32 AM
  #37

I understand how you feel. This pandemic has bn a very controversial topic on the board for a long time now and probably the main reason is that each state has different rules and guidelines on how to handle it and some have none at all.

I feel like the recent complaints from people in the lounge have to do with those extreme people who believe it is a hoax and criticize others for wearing masks. However, I know that some have posted that they were getting together with family and planning socially distant ways to do that and felt criticized which I completely understand as well.

In my experience. I started the school year with a district that I started with in November 2019. Even though we were supposed to be fully remote, kids were doing some in person work at school. General ed kids for 45 minutes once a week, and special ed and IEP kids three days a week for three hours each day.

I was scared to death to go when I found out that all teaching assistants had to be in the building all day four days a week when teachers only had to come in one day a week while staying remote the rest of the week. Once I started doing it, I felt less scared because the school was working hard to keep everyone safe and distanced and wearing a mask all day was not as hard as I thought it would be.

Then, due to some circumstances, I got an opportunity for a different position in the same type of area at a district five minutes from my home. I felt it was in my best interest to take it for a number of reasons not just because they were still fully remote indefinitely though I saw the perks of that. Now. I have been working at home for three solid months and loving it. I will not be happy going back into the building which we may not do this school year at all anyway. But that same fear I had about going in to my other job at the beginning of the year is back because of the large spike in cases, and because I am now used to working at home and am enjoying the safety and convenience.

Over the summer I did go to some outdoor socially distanced music events that did not have many people at them and everyone was masked and more than six feet away from each other. I also have been to restaurants in that same situation. Maybe that is bad behavior, but I was always taking precautions and always wore my mask when mixed company was around. I also have visited my parents a few times. They rarely go anywhere and neither do I theses days, and I am their only child. Maybe that is wrong too, but I do not gather in large groups and always wear my mask where I need to.

I know I have probably made judgmental comments toward those who seem to be extreme about the live and let live and that the hide and hope method won’t do, and I apologize for that.
jazzer is online now   Reply With Quote
letsgomets's Avatar
letsgomets letsgomets is offline
 
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 6,237
Senior Member

letsgomets
 
letsgomets's Avatar
 
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 6,237
Senior Member

Old 12-30-2020, 08:39 AM
  #38

So many opinions on both sides of the coin, but also lots of rationalizing is done here as well. I agree with the statement about guilty feelings. It's Jiminy Cricket on your shoulder - your conscience. I think many of us (including myself) have made decisions that we later question because we know that they were risky.

Even in the lists people have given above, there are risky behaviors, with plenty of justification attached. Justifying our own behaviors is a part of human nature. One of my concerns though, is not only the risks we take as individuals and as families, but the terrible burden that is being carried by our health care workers and health care system. I think about them a lot.

I have no patience for anyone who will not wear a mask or do any social distancing. It's a tightrope walk for sure.
letsgomets is offline   Reply With Quote
PPCDTeacher's Avatar
PPCDTeacher PPCDTeacher is offline
 
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 7,368
Senior Member

PPCDTeacher
 
PPCDTeacher's Avatar
 
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 7,368
Senior Member

Old 12-30-2020, 09:02 AM
  #39

I understand. People around here are extremely judgmental. Dont live your life in fear. Some people are ok with taking risks and some are not. i am find taking risks and am not living my life in fear. im cautious and wear my mask, but we go out and do things on occasion- like my best friend and I get together every week.I go to work every day and we are all in person, all my class is shoved into one tiny room.so i am fine with my best friend and i being by ourselves at her house. I couldnt care less what people think. I am comfortable with the decisions I make.No judgment from me at all. And dont feel guilty. You do what you need to.
PPCDTeacher is offline   Reply With Quote
PPCDTeacher's Avatar
PPCDTeacher PPCDTeacher is offline
 
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 7,368
Senior Member

PPCDTeacher
 
PPCDTeacher's Avatar
 
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 7,368
Senior Member

Old 12-30-2020, 09:05 AM
  #40

To jackie- I am the same way 🙂
PPCDTeacher is offline   Reply With Quote
anna's Avatar
anna anna is offline
 
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 15,044
Senior Member

anna
 
anna's Avatar
 
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 15,044
Senior Member

Old 12-30-2020, 09:09 AM
  #41

Buddha,Jesus,Allah and Confucius all had a "do unto others" version of living life. May we all stay safe and find peace in the New Year.
anna is offline   Reply With Quote
h0kie's Avatar
h0kie h0kie is offline
 
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 7,490
Senior Member

h0kie
 
h0kie's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 7,490
Senior Member
Yes!
Old 12-30-2020, 09:34 AM
  #42

Quote:
Honestly.... IDGAF what someone here might think. Iím sorry for my brutal honesty but itís how I feel. I donít need to explain myself here.
Jackie, I think I may love you.
h0kie is offline   Reply With Quote
Izzy23 Izzy23 is offline
 
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,891
Senior Member

Izzy23
 
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,891
Senior Member

Old 12-30-2020, 09:54 AM
  #43

Well, I posted on the Politics board about knowing someone who died from the virus and was called "selfish" for caring more about his life than the economy. So I think the judgement goes both ways, honestly.

And yeah, it's the Politics board, so it's a den of rude and judgmental people. But that really crossed a line in terms of judging people, I think.

Still, this morning I read a story about how the hospitals in LA are so full they are putting patients in the gift shop and chapel. Then I watched a video on twitter of a woman refusing to wear a mask in CVS, while a nurse (still in her scrubs) patiently tried to explain that Covid is NOT the flu. Then I read a story from Chicago about a couple who met their daughter for a haircut -- she was positive but asymptomatic and they caught Covid from her and both of them died. Then I read the news stories about the congressman from Louisiana who just died of Covid at age 41 -- after months of meeting people without masks to push for reopening the economy. He has two little children that he will never see grow up.

So I guess....if my judgement on this board makes you rethink a gathering, or a night out, or a trip to the store, then I'm glad. Maybe my judgement will have helped save a life. I can't be sorry about that.
Izzy23 is offline   Reply With Quote
CricketSong's Avatar
CricketSong CricketSong is offline
 
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 484
Senior Member

CricketSong
 
CricketSong's Avatar
 
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 484
Senior Member

Old 12-30-2020, 10:03 AM
  #44

People “living their lives” sound so superior and judgemental themselves. Like we are all the walking dead and they are the true intelligent and brave ones and we are cowards hiding under rocks. Consideration is weakness to them.

I do think it’s a crappy way to think. I’m not going to mince words. Some people are considerate but most people who are this way do it with a very teenaged mentality. “F@ck what you say, I do what I want!” And it sucks that they aren’t the ones who die. It’s the innocent people they work with that end up on the short stick. With youth sports, that’s a money making venture and the organizations are at fault because families are having to face huge consequences either way. But the people who are throwing parties and doing things like that and then going to work or church or wherever else that are frankly, selfish jerks. If they would go around each other and not essential places I’d be fine with it. If it was just them dying and they took that risk and were the only ones killed, I would be fine with it honestly. But it’s more like drunk driving they way do it. They don’t just drink and poison just themselves. They get in the road with the rest of us. But even some nursing home nurses in my town act that way and they are killing people so they can have fun. It’s sick. Sick. So yes, those people who are doing non- essential things in careless ways for fun and then using essential places are selfish people. People “living their lives” and staying out of the way and treating themselves at home and not burdening the healthcare system are fine as long as they actually only stay with others “living their lives” and assume all the consequences of that risk are totally within their right to do so. But if they go to work or other places that are essential after not quarantining knowing they are in crowds are the ones I definitely do judge. Because it’s not just about them anymore. They want to have all the cake and none of the consequences.
CricketSong is offline   Reply With Quote
annie_g's Avatar
annie_g annie_g is online now
 
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 6,789
Senior Member

annie_g
 
annie_g's Avatar
 
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 6,789
Senior Member

Old 12-30-2020, 10:08 AM
  #45

If you feel guilty, then that's your conscious telling you to rethink what you're doing. The fact that some people don't care what others think is partly why the virus is surging just about everywhere. I think there is a huge difference between making decisions about schooling for your child and being out at social gatherings not following guidelines. I don't think anyone is judging others for going to work, shopping for essentials, running necessary errands, or going to medical appointments. But, yes, if I see people posting pictures of traveling and/or having big family gatherings, then I do judge them. We have been asked repeatedly not to do those things to protect ourselves and others. We have vaccines being distributed and others on the way.
annie_g is online now   Reply With Quote
MalloryJames MalloryJames is online now
 
Joined: Jun 2020
Posts: 611
Full Member

MalloryJames
 
Joined: Jun 2020
Posts: 611
Full Member

Old 12-30-2020, 10:21 AM
  #46

I think part of it is there is such a continuum. I think posters here are somewhere in the middle to the left of caution. I don't see anyone here saying they are going to bars, with no masks and just having a fine old time. Which I do see in my community. I don't see anyone calling others "sheeple" for wearing masks or saying "it's just the flu". Which I also do see in my community.

I think it is a difference in determining what your "bubble" is. Mine includes my family, it has to. We depend on each other for so much. But for some people it sounds like their bubble is only the people they live in the same house with. Which is fine, of course, and probably the safest choice. But not everyone has that choice.

And going back to Sbkangas's original post, we do have to consider what extreme isolation does to people, especially kids. They don't have the perspective someone in their 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s have. It really has been forever for them. I think about what it would do to her son if Sbkangas told him he could not be part of his hockey dream team.

I think we just need to be kind to each other because our circumstances are all so different.
MalloryJames is online now   Reply With Quote
CK2 CK2 is online now
 
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,453
Senior Member

CK2
 
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,453
Senior Member

Old 12-30-2020, 10:33 AM
  #47

COVID has been a divisive topic here from the beginning. I have “bit my tongue” and decided not to post my thoughts many, many, many times since last spring (yesterday, for example!). It’s like politics—people believe what they want to believe and nothing anyone can say will make them change their mind. However, I have seen some people change their mind for themselves as these months have dragged on. I posted last spring that it wasn’t feasible for people to stay completely isolated at home for months and months on end, and many people who argued that point, over time, have since posted how they get out, how they have people over, etc. They claim that people can so isolate and stay at home for months, but they don’t live that (MASped excepted, from what I’ve read). That’s what I dislike the most, the hypocritical behavior where they scold others for having people over and getting out and doing something, and then they post about how they had someone over and they got out and met someone. As a few others have said, they find ways to justify their behavior while scolding others for the same.

I also remember a few posters saying that their state is doing so well, everybody always wears masks, but the data hasn’t correlated as far as I’ve seen. Look at CA and RI recently, for two examples. People like to feel that they are doing well, that their town, city, state are doing things properly, but they aren’t always objective. It’s human nature.

Just as on the politics board, I wish people would be more kind when expressing their opinions.
CK2 is online now   Reply With Quote
Englishish's Avatar
Englishish Englishish is offline
 
Joined: Jan 2020
Posts: 374
Senior Member

Englishish
 
Englishish's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2020
Posts: 374
Senior Member

Old 12-30-2020, 10:34 AM
  #48

Quote:
Well, I posted on the Politics board about knowing someone who died from the virus and was called "selfish" for caring more about his life than the economy. So I think the judgement goes both ways, honestly.
If youíre talking about the thread I think youíre talking about, then youíve editorialized the truth out of what was actually said.
Englishish is offline   Reply With Quote
Izzy23 Izzy23 is offline
 
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,891
Senior Member

Izzy23
 
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,891
Senior Member

Old 12-30-2020, 10:38 AM
  #49

I think your rolling eyes emoticon probably gives people all the context they need, Englishish.
Izzy23 is offline   Reply With Quote
WalkDontRun WalkDontRun is online now
 
Joined: Apr 2017
Posts: 640
Senior Member

WalkDontRun
 
Joined: Apr 2017
Posts: 640
Senior Member

Old 12-30-2020, 10:40 AM
  #50

I accept the fact that people are going to be judgmental when it comes to individual choices made during this once in a lifetime (hopefully) global pandemic. I try not to engage in black and white thinking when it comes to small decisions we make every day as we navigate our current reality. I probably go to stores more often than many here do but am always masked and sanitized. I even go to the mall occasionallyóalways early in the day when there are few people.

I am judgmental of people who refuse to wear masks and I will never again step foot into one of my favorite small businesses because the owner refuses to wear a mask or to require customers to wear masks even though it is state mandated. Many small businesses are allowed to stay open even as restaurants, gyms, movie theaters, etc. are closed so this defiance of a mask mandate really bothers me.
WalkDontRun is online now   Reply With Quote
sevenplus's Avatar
sevenplus sevenplus is offline
 
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 4,845
Senior Member

sevenplus
 
sevenplus's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 4,845
Senior Member

Old 12-30-2020, 10:56 AM
  #51

I'm certain I've come across as judgemental but the only time I say anything is when comments belittle those of us who are following recommendations. It's human nature to be defensive, I guess.

I'm not hiding.
I'm not sheeple.
I'm not wishing the virus away.
I have been enjoying my life, just in a different way.

Even in this thread I've read the "living my life" explanation and that sounds so flippant.

My boys are remaining 100% remote by our choice but I don't judge anyone for sending their child to school.
I've made some decisions that others may find selfish. I allowed my teenage son to play baseball. We told the coach up front we weren't okay with travel tournaments, but we did allow him to play locally.

We put our dad in a nursing home during the pandemic. It was really the only choice we had as his wife is no longer able to care for him and both his physical and mental health had deteriorated rapidly. And, yes, he contracted COVID in that nursing home. He did recover.

It is so hard because there are not always clear and easy answers. We second-guess ourselves constantly.
sevenplus is offline   Reply With Quote
all41's Avatar
all41 all41 is offline
 
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 2,572
Senior Member

all41
 
all41's Avatar
 
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 2,572
Senior Member

Old 12-30-2020, 10:58 AM
  #52

Quote:
I don't see anyone here saying they are going to bars, with no masks and just having a fine old time. Which I do see in my community. I don't see anyone calling others "sheeple" for wearing masks or saying "it's just the flu". Which I also do see in my community.
I agree with this statement. I am confused when reading these posts because I don't see PTers talking about all the things they are doing without regard to Covid safety. What I do see is PTers coming here and sharing what they are doing and the precautions they take, then some other PTers pile on how they shouldn't be doing that because it's not safe and we need this to end.

I believe most people on this board are making good decisions based on what their families need and are weighing the risks carefully. I don't like that some are made to feel guilty, or judged, or even ashamed to take care of themselves and their families.

Myself, I teach f2f and have been on Holiday break from school since Dec 18. I have not left my home/yard. Does that make me better at helping to control the spread of Covid than someone who has been to the grocery store while following safety protocol? No....it makes me lonely. But, I do it because I can and it's my choice. I certainly don't get on here and try to make others feel bad for going to the store just because I'm not and feel lonely and isolated because of it.

And BTW, we were not able to have my family out for the Christmas bonfire we planned. It was -24* F. Brrr! It's been a lonely 12 days.
all41 is offline   Reply With Quote
calumetteach's Avatar
calumetteach calumetteach is offline
 
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 1,783
Senior Member

calumetteach
 
calumetteach's Avatar
 
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 1,783
Senior Member
Ok...so Christmas Eve day
Old 12-30-2020, 11:33 AM
  #53

I was in TJ Max waiting for my husband staying away from people on the side of the store. A man and his son? Walk in right past the number checker people and mask giving out person. The poor girl was like...you need a mask and they both ignored her and walked right in front of other people and went to a check out. Without a mask.

I think they got a gift card. He walked out smugly. I felt so bad and angry. I don’t think the manager or person in charge wanted to deal with someone on Christmas Eve. He would win biggest jerk award....
calumetteach is offline   Reply With Quote
letsgomets's Avatar
letsgomets letsgomets is offline
 
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 6,237
Senior Member

letsgomets
 
letsgomets's Avatar
 
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 6,237
Senior Member
My nephew
Old 12-30-2020, 11:48 AM
  #54

and great niece have the no fun job of keeping a tally on people in a gaming store, and a Cracker Barrel, respectively. It's been a challenge for them for sure.

Quote:
I think they got a gift card. He walked out smugly. I felt so bad and angry. I don’t think the manager or person in charge wanted to deal with someone on Christmas Eve. He would win biggest jerk award....
I saw this in a newspaper from the other day, "People often make personal choices at the expense of others." It's been an eye opening experience to see what choices people are making, particularly my own sister - who is a retired nurse.
letsgomets is offline   Reply With Quote
AuntKK's Avatar
AuntKK AuntKK is offline
 
Joined: Jul 2009
Posts: 674
Senior Member

AuntKK
 
AuntKK's Avatar
 
Joined: Jul 2009
Posts: 674
Senior Member
All41
Old 12-30-2020, 11:48 AM
  #55

Iím sorry your get together didnít work out! It sounded like such a memorable fun experience!
AuntKK is offline   Reply With Quote
CK2 CK2 is online now
 
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,453
Senior Member

CK2
 
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,453
Senior Member

Old 12-30-2020, 11:49 AM
  #56

Really good post, all41. I’m sorry you weren’t able to have your family gathering after all.

Yes, that makes me upset too—seeing people ignore a mask requirement and nothing being done about it. Which is partly why I was shocked to read the comment yesterday that states without mask mandates shouldn’t get the vaccine (or maybe she said should be last in line, I don’t remember). Why would that be fair when there is clearly some lack of compliance with mask mandates? Some of those states without statewide mandates have the fewest cases. Some states with strong COVID mandates, including lockdowns, have the most cases. As the OP said, there is no black and white.
CK2 is online now   Reply With Quote
timeforbed's Avatar
timeforbed timeforbed is online now
 
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 5,554
Senior Member

timeforbed
 
timeforbed's Avatar
 
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 5,554
Senior Member
public board = public commentary
Old 12-30-2020, 12:09 PM
  #57

This is a public board.
It is open to all teachers who wish to join.
Teachers come in a variety of types, personalities, forms, opinions, etc.

In other words, there are three outcomes that will occur when you post about how you are handling covid:
1. You will get feedback that doesn't agree with what you have decided.
2. People will agree with what you are doing.
3. You will get some ideas from what other people are doing.

Personally, I have come to realize that the only way I'm not going to get any criticism for something controversial like how I am handling this pandemic is to not post it, or to post on the politics board where it is expected that people will give their opinions on topics.

In other words, if you are going to write about something that you know some people will not like, expect to get some feedback. This isn't a site that has a limited population who all believe the same thing like a "Lovers of Pumpkin flavored anything" site. And even then, you're going to get someone on there who says something like "You really shouldn't be drinking pumpkin flavored coffee because coffee really isn't good for you." This is where the comment "whatever" becomes useful but only if you mutter it under your breath and don't actually type it. Unless you are on the politics board where you can say just about anything and even add a rolling eyes emoji and a comment about expecting nothing more from a commie loving Canadian, eh imatchr2?

Just don't use the Ha Ha emoji on the politics board. You will get called out for that because nothing is funny about politics.

So I strongly recommend that you add "whatever" to your mental repertoire. But not "whatevs" because I can't stand that and if you say that you are really insensitive to my special needs.

And yes, I know that my light hearted but there's a point to my commentary approach will aggravate some people on here. Whatever.
timeforbed is online now   Reply With Quote
Tigercat's Avatar
Tigercat Tigercat is offline
 
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 1,148
Senior Member

Tigercat
 
Tigercat's Avatar
 
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 1,148
Senior Member
agree with you
Old 12-30-2020, 12:32 PM
  #58

You make some great points, and I agree with most of it. We are all doing the best we can - making daily decisions for our families - as we continue living through this Covid season of our life. I have found on PT, there are many posters that will disagree with opinions and still be respectful. On the flip side, there are some regular PT posters that are hateful and disrespectful if you disagree with them. They are easy to spot, and most of us just ignore them.
Tigercat is offline   Reply With Quote
School Time's Avatar
School Time School Time is offline
 
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 2,675
Senior Member

School Time
 
School Time's Avatar
 
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 2,675
Senior Member

Old 12-30-2020, 12:53 PM
  #59

I started one of the threads. I know that we all make decisions about how to live our lives, now and in the past and future. I generally am not concerned about how others live their lives. I know that most of us, me included, do some things that others would not. I go for frequent walks and am occasionally in stores. I was on vacation in August but it an area with that was within the same situation at the time. And we were very cautious.

My concern is that the one particular person I know is out everywhere without a mask, with her face next to others and arms around each other, in four or five different states. A photo with someone she hasn't seen in years. At the beginning of the school year, we were working out of the same location. In two weeks we are supposed to be hybrid again. We won't be together but others, including kids, will be with her. I am concerned for her and for my other colleagues and the children.

I wish she would be more careful for her sake and all of ours. I do not mean to make anyone here feel guilty about their choices. I just want this to be over.
School Time is offline   Reply With Quote
imatchr2's Avatar
imatchr2 imatchr2 is offline
 
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 1,820
Senior Member

imatchr2
 
imatchr2's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 1,820
Senior Member

Old 12-30-2020, 01:46 PM
  #60

And you have every right to be concerned for your colleagues and the children at school. Her behaviour is putting THEM at risk. And that is not fair. That has been my main issue all along. Do what you want. But donít indirectly involve others in your decisions without their say or approval.

Like Jackie, IDGAF if people perceive that as being judgemental or not.
imatchr2 is offline   Reply With Quote
bGracie's Avatar
bGracie bGracie is offline
 
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 3,591
Senior Member

bGracie
 
bGracie's Avatar
 
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 3,591
Senior Member

Old 12-30-2020, 01:48 PM
  #61

This is has been going on for so long now, I think it's normal to think about how to keep living. After almost a year, it's becoming obvious that staying home indefinitely isn't feasible.

What other posters said about your feeling guilty being your conscience speaking to you, I read what you said differently. I think some people are trying to make you feel guilty whether they should be or not. I didn't read that you just naturally feel guilty.

The people who go on and on about how terrible you are for putting others at risk haven't yet realized that all of life is a risk. You're taking a risk every time you get out of bed. But no one here has lived through a pandemic before, so it's new and they tend to forget that they've taken lots of risks in their lives.

It's certainly not the time for people to be judgmental. This is the hardest time many people have ever experienced. Judging others isn't going to help anyone. When people get on here and call others selfish, that is judgmental. It's not that the people on the receiving end "feel judged" as another poster put it. It's that they are actually being judged. Big difference there.

Quote:
Honestly.... IDGAF what someone here might think.
Yep. I wouldn't say it with those words exactly but the sentiment is the same. You make decisions for your life. I'll make decisions for mine.
bGracie is offline   Reply With Quote
anna's Avatar
anna anna is offline
 
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 15,044
Senior Member

anna
 
anna's Avatar
 
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 15,044
Senior Member

Old 12-30-2020, 02:14 PM
  #62

welp,the easiest answer to this problem of what to do when seeing posted pics and remarks of trips ,hugging friends without masks etc. is not to make assumptions. I agree that both sides are judging but I don't have an instant thought that all judging is wrong.
anna is offline   Reply With Quote
Eccj Eccj is offline
 
Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 902
Senior Member

Eccj
 
Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 902
Senior Member
Haha h0kie!
Old 12-30-2020, 02:25 PM
  #63

I was thinking the same thing about Jackie!
Eccj is offline   Reply With Quote
Eccj Eccj is offline
 
Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 902
Senior Member

Eccj
 
Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 902
Senior Member
Where does everyone live?
Old 12-30-2020, 02:42 PM
  #64

I never see anyone without a mask except at church. You are not allowed in anywhere, for any reason, without a mask where I live. I really wish the Pastor at my church would enforce it, but he is too weak.
Eccj is offline   Reply With Quote
word girl's Avatar
word girl word girl is offline
 
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 1,758
Senior Member

word girl
 
word girl's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 1,758
Senior Member

Old 12-30-2020, 02:46 PM
  #65

Quote:
The people who go on and on about how terrible you are for putting others at risk haven't yet realized that all of life is a risk.
I haven't seen that anywhere.


Quote:
I think some people are trying to make you feel guilty whether they should be or not.
No one can *make* others feel guilty.
word girl is offline   Reply With Quote
anna's Avatar
anna anna is offline
 
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 15,044
Senior Member

anna
 
anna's Avatar
 
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 15,044
Senior Member

Old 12-30-2020, 03:21 PM
  #66

Quote:
The people who go on and on about how terrible you are for putting others at risk haven't yet realized that all of life is a risk. You're taking a risk every time you get out of bed. But no one here has lived through a pandemic before, so it's new and they tend to forget that they've taken lots of risks in their lives.
Getting out of bed and living my life will not include purposeful and avoidable death and endangerment of others. Getting out of bed and living my life will include driving and I will do whatever I need to do to protect myself and others from accidental death.
anna is offline   Reply With Quote
happygirl444
 
 
Guest

happygirl444
 
 
Guest

Old 12-30-2020, 04:39 PM
  #67

Quote:
They claim that people can so isolate and stay at home for months, but they donít live that (MASped excepted, from what Iíve read). Thatís what I dislike the most, the hypocritical behavior where they scold others for having people over and getting out and doing something, and then they post about how they had someone over and they got out and met someone. As a few others have said, they find ways to justify their behavior while scolding others for the same.
No truer words were spoken. This aggravates me as well. It's as if people think we don't read their other posts.
  Reply With Quote
Haley23 Haley23 is offline
 
Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 9,011
Senior Member

Haley23
 
Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 9,011
Senior Member

Old 12-30-2020, 04:44 PM
  #68

I know exactly what you mean about the judgmental part. I can't say I feel guilty, personally. I've made a ton of sacrifices but I've done some activities some here are judgmental about (going to stores in person, for example). It is tiring to see post after post complaining about this.

Not everyone is in the same situation. I worked in person for most of the fall and will be going back in January. Many of us don't have a choice. I'm going to go spend 8 hours a day in a building with 400 people and then be concerned about going to a store for 15 minutes? Nope.

Many people also live at home with family, or have family nearby that can be in their "bubble." We're not all in that situation either. Most people I know who have school aged children almost never socialize outside of their family anyway, so this situation is hardly any different for them. Don't pretend to understand what it's like to be isolated by yourself 24/7 if that's not your situation. I don't live with family so all of my "fun" or "entertaining" activities came from outside of the home. I used to go out with friends 2-3x per week and all of that stopped months and months ago. If your "fun" comes from hanging out with your family and doing various activities with them, you've still gotten to do that this entire time.

I haven't seen my parents since Christmas of 2019. I'm a plane ride away so there has been no option to do "just the holidays" or "just short visits outside" or anything like that. I spent Thanksgiving and Christmas alone. I plan to go as soon as I get my vaccine. My parents' state has it more together for teachers and assuming all goes to plan, they will have their vaccines well before me. I will wear my super uncomfortable KN-95 mask on the plane and in the airport. Yes, there will still be risk, even though we will all be vaccinated, but that's a risk we've decided we're willing to take.

The time of "no risk" will very likely never come. Even if we had enough vaccines (and we're not even a little bit close) many are not willing to take it. The virus will continue to mutate. I expect this will end up being like the flu (NO I am not saying it's "like the flu" right now) in that we will have protections in the future, but there will still be cases and deaths every year. At some point we're going to have to reach a level of risk that we deem "acceptable," just like we have with the flu and other illnesses.
Haley23 is offline   Reply With Quote
Lilbitkm's Avatar
Lilbitkm Lilbitkm is offline
 
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 2,956
Senior Member

Lilbitkm
 
Lilbitkm's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 2,956
Senior Member

Old 12-30-2020, 04:57 PM
  #69

Haley-
I also live alone and while I am not teaching in person, 90% of staff at my school is and my state is entirely open (not saying I agree or not but it is where my state is at).
I am 100% on the same page with everything that you said and I couldn’t have said it any better.

I see my best friend and her family multiple times a week and they are the only people I see. I’ve gone to restaurants and sat outside. I do use curbside pickup sometimes but I do go in stores (masked, distancing, and using hand sanitizer) as needed.

When the lockdown began in March I saw nobody in person for over 6 weeks and my mental health severely suffered (FaceTime doesn’t always cut it). If you live in a house full of people (or even just one other person) this isn’t something that you can fully understand.

This is the point I was trying to make when saying that saying how you would react/respond in somebody else’s situation holds very little weight as you aren’t in the position and don’t really know what you would do unless you’re there.
Lilbitkm is offline   Reply With Quote
imatchr2's Avatar
imatchr2 imatchr2 is offline
 
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 1,820
Senior Member

imatchr2
 
imatchr2's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 1,820
Senior Member

Old 12-30-2020, 05:32 PM
  #70

I want to say this as gently as possible. There seems to be some confusion as to where the so called ďjudgementĒ comes in. People donít have control over their job situations, whether F2F or virtual. For the most part, they are at the whim of their districts decisions. I also donít think anyone would judge a parent who has chosen what they believe to be best for their child. Whether itís living in a dorm or playing a competitive sport. Those havenít been options since March in my area.

I also havenít seen any judgemental comments about shopping for essentials. People need to eat. For the most part I think people are in and out of stores. Personally, I have come to like curb side pick up. I did curb side pickup for most of my Christmas shopping from local small businesses.

My area encouraged those who live alone to join another ďbubbleĒ if possible. I understand the loneliness. I chose to teach virtually this year, and I miss the daily interaction with my colleagues. My husband and son just did not cut it some days.

Now for the gentle part...and I think itís what most of us ďjudgersĒ feel. There are definitely risky behaviours that people are choosing for themselves and their immediate families. And thatís fine. What needs to be understood and accepted is that a persons choice to participate in an activity unmasked (indoor dining, the gym, a bar, a birthday party, church, etc) comes with the risk of inadvertently catching and then spreading the virus to people (colleagues, other family members, friends). Thatís not a risk Iím willing to take. I also do not want to catch Covid because of someone elseís choices that I did not have a say in.

I really hope that clears up some misconceptions.
imatchr2 is offline   Reply With Quote
anna's Avatar
anna anna is offline
 
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 15,044
Senior Member

anna
 
anna's Avatar
 
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 15,044
Senior Member

Old 12-30-2020, 06:09 PM
  #71

I like your post imatchr2. Well said!
anna is offline   Reply With Quote
annie_g's Avatar
annie_g annie_g is online now
 
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 6,789
Senior Member

annie_g
 
annie_g's Avatar
 
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 6,789
Senior Member

Old 12-30-2020, 06:21 PM
  #72

Yes, exactly, imatchr2! Those are totally different scenarios. The problem with this virus is that it is contagious even when asymptomatic or presymptomatic. So you might be endangering others without knowing it. Yes, there is risk in life, but I don't want to sick because of your actions. We can't eliminate all risk, but we can all do our part.
annie_g is online now   Reply With Quote
Eccj Eccj is offline
 
Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 902
Senior Member

Eccj
 
Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 902
Senior Member
Imatchr2
Old 12-30-2020, 06:46 PM
  #73

Indoor dining should be fine if you only have the mask off when you are at your table eating and if the capacity of the restaurant has been reduced. That is allowed in my state.
Eccj is offline   Reply With Quote
TeacherPK6's Avatar
TeacherPK6 TeacherPK6 is offline
 
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 4,243
Senior Member

TeacherPK6
 
TeacherPK6's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 4,243
Senior Member

Old 12-30-2020, 07:08 PM
  #74

I totally get what you're saying! I too have felt like my decisions would be very harshly judged (and I'm not even making super rash decisions). The problem is, not everyone CAN make the same decisions. Some people do not have a choice to work remotely, for example. In my case, while I am working remotely, my mental health was in pretty rough shape even pre-covid. If it weren't for my "out of the house" interactions that I do have, I think I would be in extremely bad shape right now (and even with those I am really struggling). Even my therapist (telehealth - and she's the type to be following lots of precautions herself) agrees.
TeacherPK6 is offline   Reply With Quote
letsgomets's Avatar
letsgomets letsgomets is offline
 
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 6,237
Senior Member

letsgomets
 
letsgomets's Avatar
 
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 6,237
Senior Member
Yes, this
Old 12-30-2020, 08:02 PM
  #75

Quote:
What needs to be understood and accepted is that a persons choice to participate in an activity unmasked (indoor dining, the gym, a bar, a birthday party, church, etc) comes with the risk of inadvertently catching and then spreading the virus to people (colleagues, other family members, friends).
I think indoor dining is a hit or miss thing. If there's almost no one in the restaurant, I would hazard a guess that the risk is pretty low. In my county, indoor dining is capped at 50%, and while several covid outbreaks here have been traced to restaurants, more are being traced to unmasked family gatherings. I read in the local paper that they are following 30 outbreaks in our county. The population of the county is about 270,000 - clearly people aren't following the guidelines too well here.
letsgomets is offline   Reply With Quote
Sbkangas5's Avatar
Sbkangas5 Sbkangas5 is offline
 
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 7,955
Senior Member

Sbkangas5
 
Sbkangas5's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 7,955
Senior Member

Old 12-30-2020, 10:25 PM
  #76

Wow - I never expected so many replies! Thank you for all of the perspectives.

I could say a lot of things in response to many, but I'll just say a few. First, the subject of guilt. I don't feel guilty because of what people say here. I feel guilt because I KNOW that some of the choices my family makes carry risk, mostly the decision to let my son play hockey because it involves many people as well as travel. And I will continue to feel guilty about it, but at this point that guilt isn't going to change our decision.

Second, my post wasn't in response to any specific covid post or person. Many of the recent posts have just had me thinking and last night I guess those thoughts needed to be put down.

Again, thank you for all of the replies. I'm someone who loves hearing other perspectives and enjoys a good debate if it can stay respectful and non-judgmental.
Sbkangas5 is offline   Reply With Quote
msd2
 
 
Guest

msd2
 
 
Guest

Old 12-31-2020, 04:49 AM
  #77

I know more people who have died or who were harmed by the cure than the virus itself. I know of very few people who had the virus. None have died. I know people who died recently because they couldn't have surgery early on and the cancer spread. It was contained early in the year but because it couldn't be treated because of the "covid cure" they are now dead. I know people who spiraled down into addiction due to the losses from the "cure". Then there are families that lost their homes, stand in food lines, educational and social regression for those who need support, those who committed suicide (which is way up), and the untold mental health crisis we will be experiencing in the years to come as a result of the "cure".

This is more than just getting sick or dying from the virus. The "cure" is harmful as well. I guess my question is, "Are you only selfish if your choices have a possibility of having someone die of covid but you are not selfish if your choice to lock-down causes the business owner who looses his business through no fault of his own commits suicide?"

Maybe we should all think about who we put in harm every day with the choices we make because unless you live on a self-sufficient property that you run yourself (with no outside helpers), have all the food, clothing, water, energy, etc you need, and never purchase anything on line or pickup you are putting others at harm of contracting covid. Get food from a store, grocery workers, truck drivers, factory workers, etc are at risk. Get water, electricity, gas, propane, fuel for vehicles, etc you are putting workers at risk so you can have your utilities. Buy on-line because you can when it isn't a necessity but a nicety (just about anything other than medication or food)? Yep, you are putting others at risk.
  Reply With Quote
PPCDTeacher's Avatar
PPCDTeacher PPCDTeacher is offline
 
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 7,368
Senior Member

PPCDTeacher
 
PPCDTeacher's Avatar
 
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 7,368
Senior Member

Old 12-31-2020, 09:42 AM
  #78

I have had several people in my family get covid and were on ventilators, etc. One of them even gave birth while she had it. And even they tell the rest of the family to not live in fear, we have to go on living our lives. so some of us have.
PPCDTeacher is offline   Reply With Quote
basketball777 basketball777 is offline
 
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 4,876
Senior Member

basketball777
 
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 4,876
Senior Member

Old 12-31-2020, 12:26 PM
  #79

My family is a high risk household. We are very cautious not really going anywhere but grocery shopping, not seeing friends, etc. I plan to keep DD virtual this school year.

However in red tier my DD got to dance at her studio with safety precautions. Itís on zoom again in purple.she also has been doing her mini cheer team with safety precautions even in purple tier. With shelter in place they are practicing less & outside and more skills than the routine. Sheíll most likely have a couple virtual competitions. Sheís 8 and this has helped her mental health and gets to interact with some kids a little more. I see her cheer team as a bubble. The dance class is very small(5 kids) and the cheer team is small(11 kids)...youth cohorts are 14 kids or less here. I trust the safety protocols with her sports vs our school district...

Anyways to each their own and own decisions. I feel ok with our choices.
basketball777 is offline   Reply With Quote
sevenplus's Avatar
sevenplus sevenplus is offline
 
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 4,845
Senior Member

sevenplus
 
sevenplus's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 4,845
Senior Member

Old 12-31-2020, 01:59 PM
  #80

Quote:
And even they tell the rest of the family to not live in fear, we have to go on living our lives.#
It's this verbiage that continues to make me crazy.

Obviously do what you will. But just because I'm following recommendations given by doctors does not mean I'm living in fear. I am not cowering in a corner or becoming anxiety-ridden when I step outside.

And just because I'm social distancing doesn't mean I'm not living my life. I have been living a very fulfilling life these past 10 months.

Again, we can make choices without belittling others.
sevenplus is offline   Reply With Quote
letsgomets's Avatar
letsgomets letsgomets is offline
 
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 6,237
Senior Member

letsgomets
 
letsgomets's Avatar
 
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 6,237
Senior Member
Just curious
Old 12-31-2020, 02:04 PM
  #81

have any of the people in your family had any complications from the virus?
Quote:
I have had several people in my family get covid and were on ventilators, etc.
Quote:
One of them even gave birth while she had it.
Well, plenty of women have given birth during the pandemic, and some have had covid. That is not a very helpful statement. Many women were already pregnant when this all began. It's not as if a women has a choice to "postpone" a birth.
letsgomets is offline   Reply With Quote
imatchr2's Avatar
imatchr2 imatchr2 is offline
 
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 1,820
Senior Member

imatchr2
 
imatchr2's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 1,820
Senior Member

Old 12-31-2020, 03:20 PM
  #82

I too am not living my life in fear. That kind of language is also very judgemental.

I miss a lot of things. But I have also chosen to use this ďpauseĒ in my life in positive ways. I have walked more. I got back into needlepoint. I read more. I cook more adventurously because I have the time. We used to eat out once a week. We do takeout at the restaurants we would have visited otherwise. I have saved money.

The most important thing...I have spent a lot more time with my family, especially my son, as his university is 100% online. Thatís a gift to me.
imatchr2 is offline   Reply With Quote
letsgomets's Avatar
letsgomets letsgomets is offline
 
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 6,237
Senior Member

letsgomets
 
letsgomets's Avatar
 
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 6,237
Senior Member
3,808
Old 12-31-2020, 04:15 PM
  #83

And while we debated this online, on Wednesday, December 30th, 3,808 more people died of COVID. Over 344,000 have died from the pandemic so far. So far, this "second" wave has been more deadly than the first, just like the experts predicted. As someone stated above, it's not like you know if you will be asymptomatic, end up hospitalized, on a ventilator, be a long-hauler with complications, or die. My wish for my PT friends in 2021 is health and safety.
letsgomets is offline   Reply With Quote

Join the conversation! Post as a guest or become a member today. New members welcome!

Reply

 

>
Teachers' Lounge
Thread Tools




Sign Up Now

Sign Up FREE | ProTeacher Help | BusyBoard

All times are GMT -8. The time now is 07:02 AM.

Copyright © 2019 ProTeacher®
For individual use only. Do not copy, reproduce or transmit.
source: www.proteacher.net
82