My MIL got a facebook account. As soon as she told me this I went and found her and blocked her. I don't have anything to hide, but MIL and I are not the best of friends. And more importantly she's the biggest gossip there is. So MIL calls me up and says she's searched me and can't find me. I didn't tell her that I blocked her, but just told her that I'm unsearchable. She tells me to search her and add her. I don't know how to get out of this one. I mean if I tell her I'm uncomfortable with having her as my "friend" on facebook cause she gossips so much it'll start a huge argument.
That's a tough one! I think I would say something like, "I will do it next time I'm on," and then "forget" to add her. Or tell her you searched her and didn't find her but that you must just not know how to do it.
(I know lying isn't the best answer, but I don't know what else to do if you really don't want her as your FB friend.)
You can set very limited profile access--so she could be your "friend" and you can limit what she can see--maybe only contact info and a few other things she already knows!
You could add her as a friend and then dump her. If she notices, do it again and again until she stops trying.
You could also set up a facebook page just specifially for her... meaning she would be your only friend on there and you never have to post anything on it.
Or, add her as a friend and block her from everything on your page. Sometimes it's easier than dealing with all the crap she will probably dish out.
I think occupationtra's idea is best for not causing waves and letting her think she's your "friend," but since you don't want to do that your only options that I can see are to 1) lie and keep putting her off and then stressing out about it every time you see her/talk to her and run the risk of her confronting you about your delay in adding her or 2) just honestly tell you you don't want her as a friend or 3) tell her you are friends only with non-family members (which might be a lie) or you only use it for school networking or something else similar.
I would just say "I don't go on too often, but the next time I do I'll search for you." And then just leave it at that, if she brings it up again then I would add her, but have it so she isn't able to view pictures, your wall, etc.
If I remember correctly since you blocked her you won't be able to search for her. Try searching and see if her name comes up. I blocked someone once and when I went to "search" for them their name did not come up. That way if she asks about you can honestly tell her you couldn't find her.
I would say I would love to add you, but I have a lot of friends that post a lot of inappropriate things that I would not want you to see and be offended.
Second - I would make a seperate one. I made one with my school name cause I refuse to add other teachers, or even kids to mine. They all try!!!!
Just choose her, then see if you can set your page to where she can't view all your posts. If I have something that I don't want others to spread, then I will simply send a private message to those friends or I will IM them while they are on. I know my feelings would be hurt if my family did not accept me as a friend on there. I don't advise lying to her because I think the truth has a way of biting liers in the butt. I know some are super sensitive about their independence and privacy. Guess, I just don't put certain info on facebook anyway, so privacy on there is not an issue.
My friend has her MIL as a friend, but she's blocked on everything except things that she wants her to see.
Last week I helped her get the settings right. She didn't care for her to see some of their pictures, but she didn't want her to see a set of vacation pictures because she'd have disagreed with some of the activities, so she has the settings on that album for "all friends" and the "except" and added MIL. Works great!
You could also tell her that you only use Facebook or your very closest friends.
I understand...I don't have SIL or BIL on mine b/c I just don't care to share everything I say/do with the ILs.
Just indicate that you don't really care for FB that much or that you don't know much about it b/c you aren't on that much, or if it seems you're on a lot to her, then just say you've stopped using your account b/c you've found that there are other things more pending (another hobby).
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07-15-2009, 10:06 AM
