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Friday Funday Joke
Old 01-22-2021, 07:54 AM
  #1

A guy goes into the bookstore asking for a book about turtles.

Clerk says,"Hardback?"

Guy says, "Yes, with a small head."

Anyone else have a joke today?


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Old 01-22-2021, 08:01 AM
  #2


A guy is taking his girlfriend to the prom. He waits in the ticket line for a very long time but gets them. Then he goes to rent a limo but there is a long line there but he eventually does that too. He goes to buy her flowers. But the line at the florist is really long but eventually he gets them.
At the prom she asks him to get her a punch. He goes to the refreshments table but there is no punchline.
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Jokes- one for Kelticmom
Old 01-22-2021, 09:20 AM
  #3

Why does Waldo wear stripes?
Because he doesn’t want to be spotted.

I sold my vacuum the other day.
All it was doing was collecting dust.

What did the snail say when it was riding on the turtle’s back?
Wheeee!
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Presidential Jokes
Old 01-22-2021, 03:25 PM
  #4

These are jokes from some of our Presidents.

“I just received the following wire from my generous Daddy: Dear Jack, Don’t buy a single vote more than is necessary. I’ll be damned if I’m going to pay for a landslide.” —John F. Kennedy, addressing complaints that his father’s money was buying the primary for him.

”My esteem in this country has gone up substantially. It is very nice now when people wave at me, they use all their fingers.” —Jimmy Carter

“When they call the roll in the Senate, the Senators do not know whether to answer ‘present’ or ‘not guilty.'” —Teddy Roosevelt

”In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress.” —John Adams
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