Angry coworker tantrums - ProTeacher Community




Home Join Now Search My Favorites
Help


      The VENT

Angry coworker tantrums

>

Reply
 
Thread Tools
70Primrose 70Primrose is offline
 
Joined: Apr 2019
Posts: 102
Junior Member

70Primrose
 
Joined: Apr 2019
Posts: 102
Junior Member
Angry coworker tantrums
Old 05-15-2019, 08:54 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #1

I have a coworker that gets upset at us, but won’t tell us why. It is a silent tantrum. Very visibly mad, but never tells us anything so we can fix what we did or defend ourselves. I stopped her in the hall today after one of her fits and asked, “Did I do something wrong? Do you need me to do something? Just tell me what, I want to help.” She said, “No, it’s just me. I’m in a bad mood. You are fine.” It was not just a bad mood. Something triggered it. We were all eating lunch and she was fine at first, by the end she was pissed. I know she has been upset because our other two team members have been saying she got the good kids this year and that is why her class is so well behaved. Last week she did tell me that is upsetting her. She feels she is not getting credit for being good at classroom management. It was mentioned at lunch again. These angry silent tantrums seem over the top to me for that. I really enjoy her when she is not like this, but it makes me want to keep a distance in fear.


70Primrose is offline   Reply With Quote

ElizabethJoy's Avatar
ElizabethJoy ElizabethJoy is offline
 
Joined: Sep 2015
Posts: 398
Senior Member

ElizabethJoy
 
ElizabethJoy's Avatar
 
Joined: Sep 2015
Posts: 398
Senior Member
Drama lama
Old 05-15-2019, 09:41 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #2

Quote:
. I stopped her in the hall today after one of her fits and asked, “Did I do something wrong? Do you need me to do something? Just tell me what, I want to help.” She said, “No, it’s just me. I’m in a bad mood. You are fine.”
Take her at face value. If she says its not you, believe her. Ignore the passive aggressive stuff. Ain't no time for dramaaaaa.
ElizabethJoy is offline   Reply With Quote
whiteturtle's Avatar
whiteturtle whiteturtle is offline
 
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 480
Senior Member

whiteturtle
 
whiteturtle's Avatar
 
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 480
Senior Member

Old 05-16-2019, 02:28 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #3

Your coworkers aren't being fair to her. It may be triggering something more personal in her that she doesn't want to discuss with coworkers. Her kids are doing well and she doesn't deserve to be picked at. She may feel like the teammates don't like her or they don't want the best for her. It's hard to be on a team when you feel like that. I would tell the other team members to leave her alone about that. Even a great class doesn't stay great if the teacher doesn't know how to handle them.
whiteturtle is offline   Reply With Quote
GreyhoundGirl's Avatar
GreyhoundGirl GreyhoundGirl is offline
 
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 19,484
Senior Member

GreyhoundGirl
 
GreyhoundGirl's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 19,484
Senior Member

Old 05-16-2019, 04:28 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #4

I’m with Elizabeth. If she says she’s fine, she’s fine. Don’t play into the drama.
GreyhoundGirl is offline   Reply With Quote
travelingfar's Avatar
travelingfar travelingfar is offline
 
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 2,480
Senior Member

travelingfar
 
travelingfar's Avatar
 
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 2,480
Senior Member
What to Do
Old 05-16-2019, 04:31 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #5

I would take a step back from her. She doesn't want to talk much about what is going on and needs her space. If I was her I wouldn't be happy with the comments from other teachers, so I understand why she's not in a conversational mood.

Don't get involved in your teammates' relationship with her. That is their issue and not yours.



Last edited by travelingfar; 05-16-2019 at 12:53 PM..
travelingfar is offline   Reply With Quote
Tori58 Tori58 is offline
 
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 314
Full Member

Tori58
 
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 314
Full Member

Old 05-16-2019, 04:42 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #6

I don't blame her for being angry if her hard work is getting written off to having good kids. And I don't see how keeping a lid on her anger qualifies as having a tantrum or why it's cause for fear. She probably is just trying to get to the end of the year without popping her top about something that has annoyed her all year. At this point she probably feels that there's no point in saying anything about it. In her shoes, I'd be the one taking a step back.
Tori58 is offline   Reply With Quote
kahluablast's Avatar
kahluablast kahluablast is offline
 
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 18,374
Senior Member

kahluablast
 
kahluablast's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 18,374
Senior Member

Old 05-16-2019, 04:49 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #7

I would be pissed off, too if people were saying that - and right to my face. Maybe if it happens again, you can say something to divert the conversation. I also agree with this:
Quote:
keeping a lid on her anger qualifies as having a tantrum
If it were me, I would have spoken up.

Is it true? Do behaviors not go in her class?

We really do need to pay attention to what we are saying and how people react to them. Statements like that can be very hurtful - even if it is true. If I get no behavior problems, it sure isn't because I went and ask for it. So comments like that would make me at fault, when I am not. Last year my grade level partner had a group of boys that just did not work well together. It turned into a nightmare. However, it wasn't planned that way. New kids added to a rough mix turned it sour. My biggest problem moved to private school after my parent meeting the second week of school. That changed my dynamic significantly.
kahluablast is offline   Reply With Quote
msd2
 
 
Guest

msd2
 
 
Guest

Old 05-16-2019, 04:54 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #8

Re-read your post. You explained exactly why she doesn't want to say anything.

The co-workers dismissing her work as it being nothing more than good kids rather than being good at her job. She does tell you she is upset about it. They do it again. She is upset again. Now you are asking her why again and here blaming her.

She probably knows it just isn't worth it. Telling you didn't fix it. She probably doesn't want to hear you all defending yourselves as to why it is ok to dismiss her abilities. I bet she would love to know you are here blaming her for being angry and not behaving in the manner you would like once again for the same insults she had to put up with last week.

I don't blame her for not putting it out there. I'm thinking she already knows what the real results would be.
  Reply With Quote
70Primrose 70Primrose is offline
 
Joined: Apr 2019
Posts: 102
Junior Member

70Primrose
 
Joined: Apr 2019
Posts: 102
Junior Member

Old 05-16-2019, 04:57 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #9

She does have excellent classroom management! We switch for science and so I have her class for an hour a day and it is not all the “good” kids. She is just good at what she does. I guess I feel fear, because like I said I really enjoy her when she is not like this. She and I are always popping into each other’s rooms or texting. I don’t want to lose that. I am the newbie though, the others and her have been together for years! Me only 3 years. I am still trying to figure out their relationships. She is fed up with them she has told me, so I guess she is telling me what is wrong. Thanks you guys helped me think this through.
70Primrose is offline   Reply With Quote
Keltikmom's Avatar
Keltikmom Keltikmom is offline
 
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 8,263
Senior Member

Keltikmom
 
Keltikmom's Avatar
 
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 8,263
Senior Member
Angry co worker
Old 05-16-2019, 06:19 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #10

After reading your last post, I think you’ve hit the nail on the head. The other two aren’t giving her credit for good management skills. You were very kind to ask about her feelings and it’s clear this is not about you. Leave it be and continue to support her.

You needn’t be afraid of her. She needs to learn to stand up for herself, but right now, that’s not your problem.


Keltikmom is offline   Reply With Quote
123And456789
 
 
Guest

123And456789
 
 
Guest

Old 05-16-2019, 05:56 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #11

This is very unprofessional, demoralizing of your colleagues. And if they continue to do that in a regular basis, it could qualify as harassment/bullying and contributing to a hostile work environment.

This is extremely hurtful! And this is just the stuff you've heard personally. I guaranteed you, your colleagues have said worse things or spread rumors about her that you don't even know about.

This may as well be why she looks so angry. Perhaps, it is not the first time or the worse thing they have said about her. Can you imagine her moral? She is getting emotionally attacked in front of other people's eyes and no one says anything. Everyone acts as if it is normal. It feels like someone is killing you softly and with a smile while everybody else just ignore your suffering and expect you to die happily.
I would stay as far away from these two ill mean spirited people. I'm not saying you should be her savior but at the very least don't participate. In her eyes, a truck would run over her and you wouldn't call 911.

I remember when I was the subject of the day. No one deserves this. It is a bad place to be by yourself. Sometimes, I get flashback. Victims often don't defend themselves. I know, I was there myself.
I'm sending the biggest electronic kick in the mouth to these two women that I can.
  Reply With Quote
Emily26
 
 
Guest

Emily26
 
 
Guest
You're probably reading too much into it
Old 05-16-2019, 10:53 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #12

If she says she's fine, leave her alone. I would be REALLY annoyed if my classroom management skills were dismissed with "Oh, your class is good because you got all the good kids." How horribly insulting. You should really all knock that off.
  Reply With Quote

Join the conversation! Post as a guest or become a member today. New members welcome!

Reply

 

>
The VENT
Thread Tools




Sign Up Now

Sign Up FREE | ProTeacher Help | BusyBoard

All times are GMT -8. The time now is 02:33 AM.

Copyright © 2019 ProTeacher®
For individual use only. Do not copy, reproduce or transmit.
source: www.proteacher.net