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when are wedding invites sent?
Old 01-02-2018, 03:28 PM
  #1

Good friends of ours dd is getting married about 1,600 miles from us. We obviously need to purchase plane tickets and lodging. We just today (Jan. 2) got an invite for their wedding which is Feb. 2nd. Isn't that cutting it close? We also need to take ask for time off from work since this wedding is on a Friday.
I was starting to think they called it off or we weren't invited. Now we need to scramble to find cheap flights, etc.
What is the etiquette for sending out invites? This seems kind of disrespectful? Maybe it was a slip up on their part, but I'm feeling a little annoyed.

Also, is the new thing for wedding invites is to RSVP online?


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Old 01-02-2018, 03:36 PM
  #2

IME Save the Dates are sent out several months in advance, while actual invitations are sent out much closer to the wedding. Did you not get a Save the Date?

Every wedding I've been to has done the RSVPing online (keep in mind, I'm only 30 , so I wasn't going to weddings as an adult before this became popular). IME it's typical to have a "wedding website" where you RSVP, choose meal selections, and the couple provides information about the location (lodging, restaurants, things to do if you're spending the weekend, etc.)
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Times they are a changing...
Old 01-02-2018, 03:39 PM
  #3

Traditionally invitations were sent out 6 weeks before the wedding. And RSVP was done by mail. With all the media use today I guess it makes sense to reply on line and saves a a stamp.
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Old 01-02-2018, 03:57 PM
  #4

I married in 2000 and again in 2016. We did six weeks both times.

Save the Date wasn't even a thing in 2000, or not among my crowd. We didn't do it the second time either. Of course, we met, got engaged, and married all within six months.
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Wedding invitations
Old 01-02-2018, 04:11 PM
  #5

That is cutting it close! Around here, save the dates are used. We received one in mid December for a wedding in mid July.

My nephew did the same last year... Rooms were all booked months ahead.

I’ve not heard of RSVPing online though. I guess it’s more efficient.


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Old 01-02-2018, 04:22 PM
  #6

My son and his fiancé are in the process of sending out their “save the date” cards now. They aren’t getting married until October. Not sure when the actual invitations will be sent.
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Old 01-02-2018, 04:38 PM
  #7

I just checked with a variety of wedding websites. The most common recommendation was to send out wedding invitations 8 weeks ahead. A couple said 6-8 weeks. No one said less. And one or two said that for a holiday wedding (Christmas, July 4, etc.) it should be even earlier.

I'm guessing that your friends intended to get the invitations out well before Christmas and fell behind. Then decided to wait until just after Christmas, so the invitations wouldn't get lost in all the holiday mail.

With the short time left before the wedding, online RSVPs sound wise. I know we've done online RSVP for several family weddings. I think it may make it easier to keep track of who they've heard from and who hasn't responded. And they really don't have time to wait for mailed responses before they need to give final numbers to the reception venue.

Hope it goes well--and that you find those cheap tickets.
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Welp...
Old 01-02-2018, 05:46 PM
  #8

My husband's family is all out of state.

They did save the date cards 6 month ahead of time, and the actual invite 2 months of the date.

I know too many people who couldn't get time off on that short of a notice (think hospital staffing) because work schedules are posted at least a month ahead of time.

That time frame almost boarders on me not going because unless you have money to burn, it can get expensive.

Honestly that is way too close for true out of state guest to plan. Well...unless you are 20 year olds and don't mind 6 people in a single hotel room, and can get really budget bad cattle tickets.
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I used to work at a
Old 01-02-2018, 06:02 PM
  #9

Wedding stationery store and for weddings out of town that would require planning on thr guest's part, it was recommended to go out at least 6, if not 8, weeks ahead of time.

My own wedding involved family driving at most 6 hours, and I had mine in hand 5 weeks ahead of time. But they all knew the date and city beforehand to make general arrangements.

I hate to say this, but when I worked at the stationery store many brides had two guest lists: A and B. The A list would get their invites 8 weeks out then the B list got theirs a month out. Often it's about venue capacity, prioritizing family, etc...but is rather rude as well. Not saying that's what necessarily happened here, but it could be.
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Old 01-02-2018, 07:28 PM
  #10

Good news is that Southwest just announced their latest sale today! The $59 flights are never going where I need to go, but the prices are definitely lower when the sale is in progress. Hope this helps with your last minute plans!


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Old 01-02-2018, 07:40 PM
  #11

6-8 weeks is standard, I thought. A month is way too late- especially if you weren't aware of the date to begin with. Online RSVPs, I like.
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invites
Old 01-03-2018, 03:22 AM
  #12

I think 6 months is the "etiquette" but a Save the Date is nice to be sent out in advance. When I got married (2009), we did Save the Dates as soon as we picked the date and had our guest list. Almost all our family was coming out of town as were many friends.

A good friend just got engaged and he emailed us personally this week with his date (not til Sept) as we live overseas and have to plan trips home carefully. He wanted to give us a lot of notice, esp as I imagine my DH might be a groomsman.
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Thanks
Old 01-03-2018, 01:25 PM
  #13

Thanks, that's what I thought. Looking at flights now, just hate traveling by plane in the winter, too many possible delays.
The online RSVP was really nice actually. Also listed hotels, restaurants, points of interest, etc. Pretty cool!
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Old 01-03-2018, 03:48 PM
  #14

Maybe because I have only been to a few weddings in my life, and most were of family members, I don't think I would feel I HAVE to attend a wedding if it means spending all that money on flights, hotels, food, etc. Especially since in the winter you are right, there are plenty of chances for delays and cancellations. I would just send a gift. However, if you can afford it and really want to go, then go for it.
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