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Racist coworker??
Old 10-19-2018, 01:02 PM
 
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I'm new to my school but I frequently read this this board. Here is what happened. I was eating lunch with my team (5th grade), and the subject of teenagers dating came up. Granted, the boy in question sounds like a jerk, but to top off her rant one teacher said "ugh, and he's black too, I've warned her about young black men".
I said "what do you mean?" and she said "I just think that it takes longer for black males to mature. I don't care if she marries a black man later in life, I just don't want her dating one as a teenager. They just take longer to mature".

This is an EXACT quote, so I really don't think I have taken it out of context.
SAY WHAT?? Am I crazy and over-sensitive for thinking this comment was completely out of line?

I really respected this woman as a great person and a great teacher, but not anymore.


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Old 10-19-2018, 02:54 PM
 
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Completely out of line and definitely racist. Would anyone say, "It takes longer for white boys to mature"? You can see how ridiculous it sounds. I would have been offended, too.
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Old 10-19-2018, 04:50 PM
 
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You call her out on it? As a mother of a black son, I am outraged that this person is teaching our youth.
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Old 10-19-2018, 05:27 PM
 
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Suggest that she date a girl since girls mature sooner....

Is that bad? I probably would have done that.
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Old 10-19-2018, 07:11 PM
 
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You are a genius!


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Old 10-19-2018, 07:14 PM
 
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Kahluablast, you are the comeback queen. I bow to your skill!
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Old 10-19-2018, 09:18 PM
 
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I don't think you're crazy. This is a concern, and you might want to act on it later. Some would say nip it in the bud now. Use your judgement. You could also act on it by communicating to whomever anonymously.

I am not trying to play devil's advocate here, and there is no way to prevent anybody from thinking that I am excusing your colleague here, though I am definitely not excusing it.

This person said a controversial, bigoted, and ignorant thing. Racist? Yes it is. How well versed is this person on the subject?

You could ask them that, and maybe they'd see how absurd and how offensive their comment is.


Or if it persists a second time, then you might want to take them aside and say something to them. How you deal with it is your discretion.

A couple of things to consider first before you decide to act. I am not saying to sweep this under the rug by any means:

This person is so steeped in his or her ignorance that this colleague of yours might not even know they're being a bigot. The person in question might even think they are actually helping. Hard to believe but true.

We live in a time whereby we are all very quick to judge people and tear them down without giving them a chance to explain themselves; a gotcha mentality. But just remember, what goes around comes around.

But people do get offended by comments like your coworker's, and I get it. I really do. So it can't be ignored, and it has to be addressed sometime or somehow. People would say it has to be addressed now. That's your call. And, do you want this problem while you're dealing with your students?

I am still amazed and shocked of the things I have heard over the years from teachers of many multifarious backgrounds. I am not perfect, and I've said some stupid things and put my foot in my mouth. Most of us have. It's part of the human condition. Some would argue that people using bigoted remarks don't deserve a second chance.

Most of the people I worked with had good sense to shut up after a couple of times, so I never had to go to an administrator or take a colleague aside discuss how offensive they were. They usually sunk in their chairs from embarrassment when people gave them nasty looks.


So, if they do it again, it's your decision to act.
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Old 10-19-2018, 09:46 PM
 
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Yes, definitely racist. I agree with peanut21 that what's bad is that she has the privilege of teaching our youth, so God only knows what subtle (or obvious) messages she and other teachers like her are portraying in her classroom everyday.
Let me guess, if she or any other teachers like her has any black students, she has them sitting in the back probably too, talks to them in a subtly (or obviously) impatient way than the other students, and she always calls on them last to do everything IF she even calls on them at all.

Also, I absolutely hate how the media portrays blacks because it gives people the wrong idea. We need to show many more positive black role models on TV who are doctors, lawyers, astronauts, etc. rather than always singing, dancing, rapping, being ghetto, being the gangster, the drug addict, the class clown, the loud boisterous one, the sneaky one always trying to get away with something, etc. and/or always playing that type of character in a show or movie.

Don't get me wrong, I personally think there's nothing wrong with singing or dancing, but a racist person will say something like, "Yeah, if anyone can sing, dance, or play basketball well, it's probably a black person."

kahluablast, good one, touche'!
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Old 10-19-2018, 10:25 PM
 
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I have been in situations like that. I would have (and have) said something right then and there. That comment was completely out of line.
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Old 10-20-2018, 08:57 AM
 
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I may be misinterpreting your post, but it sounds like she was talking about her own daughter. All of us that are parents have preferences for our children. "He shouldn't be fat", "he's looks lazy", "he comes from a dysfunctional family", "finally, a nice boy that's going to college". If we're honest, these are the types of secret conversations we have in our houses, with our spouses, etc. She doesn't want her daughter to date a boy who is black. So, what's the problem? Or more specifically, how does this effect you? If she didn't say something inappropriate to a student or in front of a student, then let it go. I'm sure there are plenty of other races that have the same opinion. Are you offended that what she said was unprofessional, saying this in public where an impressionable student could have overheard her remarks, or are you offended that she even thinks this?
If you want to indict her for just having the thoughts, just remember people in glass houses....
At some point you'll say something you regret and who will be there to protect you. It's a witch hunt mentality out there people, be careful. I know plenty of good men that are scared to death of the me too movement.


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Old 10-21-2018, 10:17 AM
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Old 10-22-2018, 06:26 AM
 
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dov1452, uh because this teacher didn't just have thoughts IN HER HEAD AND KEPT HER PIEHOLE SHUT. She chose to express her dislike/hatred for a whole race/ethnicity to others. I don't care if she's talking about her own daughter or not. I'd never, ever, ever say OUT LOUD, "I don't like my sister's boyfriend...well he's Indian, you know, blah, blah, blah..."

That racist teacher has no idea who the other teachers are married to, are friends with, etc. Many white teachers, for example, may have a black or other race spouses more than people think because people just don't expect that or think it right off the bat. They'll just assume they're the same race as the teacher. So everyone listening to her talk has the right to be offended and upset.
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My two pennies...
Old 10-22-2018, 08:30 AM
 
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I guess I'm so burnt out from the racist microaggressions in ExPat Land this barely pinged my outrage-dar.

I'm assuming your college is white. I've heard basically the same variation on the theme in ExPatLand. It is used as a reason not inviting black kids over for play dates and letting their kids have black friends over. The black kids are a handful, don't listen, don't care about studies, lazy. Immature is sort of the PC default....and the difference between your colleague and them, if you called your colleague on it, she'd shut up. In ExPatLand it's a two hour jump down the rat hole justifying their position.

Parents say all kinds of terrible crap about what they want for their kids. America is separated by race, income, religion, education and region. They don't want outside their race. No dates from a kid whose dad is a factory rat and doesn't have a college education. They don't want their kid dating an uppity Yankee. It would kill them having their kid dating a Christian from a mega church because they are all crazy stone age bible thumpers. You're Indian, Chinese, Korean or Chaldean (that's who lives around me), the list of prerequisites for appropriate dating material reaches to Pluto. Their son marries an American girl, they will lose face in the community. Americans don't want their DDs marrying an Indian man, because she'll just be an indentured servant to the inlaws. (heard that one too)

So...if you swap out black men for Christian, Atheist, blue collar, under educated, Muslim, poor, Northerner, Southerner, Indian, Latino...would you be as outraged? Because all of those can also be rather nasty stereotypes.

I don't shut people down with ignorant opinions, because I really want to know the quanity I'm dealing with. If your colleagues work is first rate, she's not treating the minority students any differently, because of this and she's a coworker, I'd be very careful of calling her out as a racist. Family and friends, whole different deal.

I've worked with teachers who were absolutely terrific teachers, but their world view points were absolute the polar opposite of mine. A real WTF? You can always say, "I know that's your opinion, but I dont agree." You've put her on notice you don't agree, but haven't poisoned the work environment.

People have all sorts of ignorant biases. Is it your job to change a that opinion? You may think the racist gets the heat. Not necessarily so. I know people who have had their work environment go to absolute sh*t calling out a coworker's racist homophobic nonsense.

Unfortunately this isn't a business you can boycott, or an idiot relative on Facebook you can block. I'd politely disagree and move on.
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