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iloveglitter2 iloveglitter2 is offline
 
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another teacher's problem child
Old 12-18-2020, 06:49 PM
 
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I have a new student in my classroom. He's one of the worst behavior issues I have ever had. He also is incredibly low on reading. The shocker is his dad is also an elementary teacher. He was going to dad's school until recently.
I talked to dad this week about his behavior and his very low reading ability. I gave some suggestions along with our assigned class reading. Dad said that they weren't going to do that reading because his son wasn't interested in it. Dad got him some car user manuals to "read" (the child can't read CVC words). Dad also basically told me that he didn't have time to work with him and he was busy with his own class and didn't want to teach in the evenings.

Our live class has been to where others can't learn because of his behavior. Today he had his iPad and was pretending he was a race car jumping over furniture (with sound effects). Parents are complaining.

I tried working with him one on one one day on reading. He told me I was boring and began making snoring sounds.

He's with his grandparents during the day when we do live class. I do not have permission or any contact for grandparents. Just dad and mom. Mom works, only dad communicates with me.

I really don't know what to do! I am floored a fellow elementary teacher is allowing his son to act like this!


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Old 12-18-2020, 07:01 PM
 
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I have no suggestions, but plenty of sympathy. Do you have an admin who backs the teachers on this kind of thing?
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Teachers child
Old 12-18-2020, 07:32 PM
 
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Personally, I would call the parent out, teacher to teacher.
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Old 12-18-2020, 08:25 PM
 
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Since you referred to it as "live class" I assume you're remote and this is during synchronous sessions? I'd mute him the second he starts making any "sound effects." If you turn his mic back on to allow him to participate, and he's not doing so, I'd give about 3 seconds before I'd mute him again. There is no reason to allow him to disturb the rest of the class.

As far as the parent, you can kick it up to admin if you have an admin who is supportive of this type of thing. If not, I'd just document all of your contacts. Make it clear you're happy to provide work at his level for him to do at home, but I wouldn't waste your time actually getting something together unless the parent indicates they want it. Make sure you're clear on the behavior that is happening and what kind of grades the parent can expect to see on the next report card. That way dad doesn't come back later and insist he had no idea there was a problem.
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Thoughts...
Old 12-19-2020, 03:30 AM
 
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I am going to guess the reason the child is no longer attending his dad's school is that dad could not take the heat from the other staff members in his school about the bad behavior of his son.

Have you contacted the child's former teacher? Has your administrator contacted the child's former principal? It sounds to me like you need more info on this child to find out if he was on a behavior program, seeing the counselor/social worker/school psychologist, or ready to be referred at his former school. There may be info in his cum folder, but usually the cum folder does not tell the whole story so contact with the former school might be worthwhile.

I would also have your administrator/special ed teacher sit in on one of your virtual sessions to observe what you are seeing. Then they need to make contact with the dad to let him know his son's behavior is not acceptable and what steps are being taken to curtail it.

If this child were face-to-face rather than virtual, you would have a whole lot more control as far as rewards and consequences. Unfortunately, that is almost impossible in your virtual situation.

Muting him at this time is probably your only choice...along with poor grades/comments on the report card and retention at the end of the year.


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Old 12-19-2020, 06:53 AM
 
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Quote:
I would also have your administrator/special ed teacher sit in on one of your virtual sessions to observe what you are seeing. Then they need to make contact with the dad to let him know his son's behavior is not acceptable and what steps are being taken to curtail it.
This was my first thought. Get the principal, social worker, school psychologist, behavior interventionist, who ever you can find to sit in on a few classes to see what is happening and/or to give you ideas on how to handle this student. You will need support regardless if this is a coworkerís child or not. The fact that itís a coworkers child makes handling this more difficult because office politics could create problems. Document and have good, frequent communication with Dad and your administration. Good luck.
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Get a number for grandparents
Old 12-19-2020, 08:23 AM
 
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I would call dad or mom and describe the behavior you are seeing. Ask them for a contact you could reach during the day in case his behavior becomes disruptive again.

The mute all button is made for these types of problems. Donít bother warning him. Just mute him.

I had an issue with a student unmuting himself when he had lots of weird background noise - video game or something. I warned him that if he could not stay muted, I would remove him from the meeting. Only took once.
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Old 12-19-2020, 02:24 PM
 
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What are the displace actions you can take at your school? At my school I can mute anyone acting up. If they continue disrupt I can remove them from the meeting and contact parents after. I would be discussing your options with the principal. Distance learning is hard enough without this craziness.
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Waiting Room
Old 12-19-2020, 10:11 PM
 
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Another option is to place him in the waiting room when he's disruptive if you have one set up on Zoom (if you use Zoom). I have done that with two disruptive students this year (I called it a time out). After a certain amount of time, I let them back in. This worked a lot for one child and a little for the other.
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Old 12-21-2020, 05:32 AM
 
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I talked to dad this week about his behavior and his very low reading ability. I gave some suggestions along with our assigned class reading. Dad said that they weren't going to do that reading because his son wasn't interested in it. Dad got him some car user manuals to "read" (the child can't read CVC words). Dad also basically told me that he didn't have time to work with him and he was busy with his own class and didn't want to teach in the evenings.

Well, Dad may not have time to work with him now, but he will have plenty of time after he retires and his son is still living at home because he can't function anywhere else.


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Old 12-23-2020, 07:28 AM
 
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Besides the other great advice, can you get the phone number and email for the grandparents? Maybe a call to them asking them to supervise more would work. They may not be aware of what he is doing if he is in another room. If it was my grandson, I'd be sitting in the room with him.
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Old 12-23-2020, 02:43 PM
 
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Goodness, if the dad doesn't want to deal with the struggles in raising his own son, I hate to think about what other responsibilities in his home/life/relationships that he is ignoring.
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These cases always make me sad.
Old 12-27-2020, 12:51 PM
 
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The kids are incredibly frustrating when you're dealing with them, but they make me sad, too, because this kind of behavior, unchecked, means this kid will more likely than not end up getting assaulted when he mouths off to the wrong person, or end up arrested because he can't hold down a legitimate job. It's like watching a car crash you can't stop.

Dad being a teacher makes it a little harder to swallow, but ultimately being a teacher doesn't make you an effective parent, or even a parent who knows how to build rapport with your child's teachers.

I turn off cameras in Zoom if kids are behaving inappropriately. 99% of the time, I'm just glad they're there, but I am not going to watch you act like a fool when I'm trying to teach kids who are doing their best to learn in these awful circumstances.

These are the kids that make distance learning a little more fun. You can't really mute them and make them disappear in real life
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Mute and document
Old 12-31-2020, 08:16 AM
 
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Mute him and document attempts at intervention and parent conferences. Then move on to students you can help.
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