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The worst feeling in the world
Old 09-26-2019, 07:56 PM
 
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I posted a few weeks ago about needing advice about the school situation I was in (principal who was interrupting my teaching to give tips / pulling me into her office at lunch to role play management techniques .... affecting my confidence and health (mental health and my lupus)). An update to that post - I made the difficult decision to leave the school, as I needed to get my health back on track and I didn't feel I could stay with how the principal was treating me and the structure of the school. Thank you to everyone who gave me advice on that post, it really helped me a lot and meant a lot.

Today was my last day and I was not expecting the reaction I would get from my kids. These kids have constantly told me they were bored, would talk over me and not let me teach, or tell me to my face that they don't respect me (7th graders). But today when I told them I was making the choice to leave for personal reasons/health reasons.... a few of them cried, they asked me if I was kidding, they yelled at one another, and more. I reiterated that this choice was not because of them. When I started crying they all ran up to me and gave me a group hug. One student gave me a note that read "I don't know what you are going through but I hope that you make it through it, go to sleep on time your mental health is important and you will get through it".

I've been crying for a few hours now. This is an awful feeling, and it makes me feel like such a failure. Not really looking for advice here, just needed a place to vent, and tell everyone that even if your kids are testing you, they love you.


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Old 09-27-2019, 03:53 AM
 
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Donít feel like a failure! The reaction that you got from your students shows that you reached them!

I wish you the best on your journey! Be good to yourself!
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Old 09-27-2019, 05:35 AM
 
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First, good decision putting your physical and mental health first! Often, teachers put ourselves last. I bet youíre crying out a lot of pent up feelings and that is a healthy thing to do. Let it all go.

Second, wow! I wouldnít have predicted the studentsí reactions! They obviously cared about you and it wasnít personal. But how sad that those kids have behaved so badly repeatedly. They are the ones losing out but they donít realize it.

Believe me that this is not the norm in all schools. Donít give up on finding the school thatís a good place for you. While youíre subbing, network- be friendly, build contacts, etc. Iím sure you know all that already.

I just want to give you a big hug and to let you know you did the right thing. We are here for you. Please let us know how youíre doing. Weíre rooting for you.
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Old 09-27-2019, 07:27 AM
 
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YOU absolutely did the right thing. Failure would be to keep doing the same things with no change. The children were truthful. Most kids care. The ones that cannot have been damaged by adults. Im glad they showed you the love that last day. Now take care of yourself.
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Old 09-27-2019, 12:32 PM
 
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I think, after a decade of teaching, I'm finally discovering that some of the kids that are most difficult to work with are also the ones who are most empathetic when it counts. They act like that because they've been through some stuff.


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Old 09-27-2019, 01:40 PM
 
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Oh, Iím so glad you decided to take care of yourself first, and leave that awful job behind. You made an impression on these kids, and maybe you saw a bit of that today.

Take some time to grieve for what was lost, then move forward. Best of luck to you, my dear.
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Old 09-27-2019, 02:28 PM
 
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And adults mirror what we are feeling. Your students know that you care about them. You also taught them how to care for self.

You did nothing wrong time to celebrate
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