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Ahhh... IDK
Old 10-15-2019, 04:57 PM
  #1

I can't stop worrying about my adult kids. Why, when will I stop worrying? This is not normal. I'm full of anxiety!


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Old 10-15-2019, 05:01 PM
  #2

It is normal to worry! With that said, STOP IT! You do seem to worry more than is healthy for you. Worry doesn't really help anything, does it?

I do find that more out of site - out of mind kind of works for me. When mine are home I worry about stuff that is useless to worry about - things I don't otherwise worry about.
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Old 10-15-2019, 05:11 PM
  #3

I'm sorry... overwhelming anxiety is so difficult. A dear friend of mine once told me that she thought worrying about our adult children was another way of still trying to control what happens to our children. You have to reach a point where you let go. You've done all you can. Of course, with a child with special needs, I don't think we can ever "let go." But know you're not alone. Please go easy on yourself....and I hope things look brighter tomorrow.
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Old 10-15-2019, 05:12 PM
  #4

I was just "joking" about this with a friend...my son turned 19 last month and I said "Both my kids are adults now, I'm done!"


Prior to that, she had been telling me how stressed out her 29 year old son was and it is affecting her sleep! It never ends!
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Old 10-15-2019, 05:18 PM
  #5

I dont think it will ever stop, but we have to try to let it go. I definitely worry about my ds more on the weekends when he is home and coming in from work/friends super late than I do when he's on campus during the week. Like Kahlua said, it's easier when you don't have them here and don't know if he's home or not. lol. I have anxiety but I think I control it most of the time.

My main fear is him driving tired late at night and having a wreck or drinking and driving (which he definitely knows not to do but obviously people make bad choices sometimes or it would never happen).


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Old 10-15-2019, 05:52 PM
  #6

I think it's always there to an extent. For me, it's more worry about my grandson. He's perfectly healthy, but I worry all the time about him getting sick or hurt. I don't remember worrying this much when my son was little! Maybe it's getting older?
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Old 10-15-2019, 08:27 PM
  #7

My husband always worries about his adult kids. He says,”You are only as happy as your saddest kid.” He goes to therapy and works mostly on letting go. It isn’t easy. He talks to his son daily and while it is great that they have a good relationship, I wish his son would stop venting. My dh doesn’t need to know everything.
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Old 10-16-2019, 01:25 AM
  #8

I don't worry like I used to, but I still worry when my adult kids have troubles.
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Old 10-16-2019, 02:32 AM
  #9

Have you considered seeking medical help? If you are, you may need a different psychologist or an adjustment of your current plan.
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I recall one of my co-workers' comments -
Old 10-16-2019, 09:04 AM
  #10

That she would stop worrying about her children when the ink dried on her death certificate.

Yep, I'm right there with you. Especially right now, as my son recently quit his job due to a hostile work environment and is still recovering from the bad experience. Thankfully, he has $$ saved, but that does not keep me from worrying about him.


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Old 10-16-2019, 11:33 AM
  #11

Quote:
as my son recently quit his job due to a hostile work environment and is still recovering from the bad experience. Thankfully, he has $$ saved, but that does not keep me from worrying about him.
Yes, I can relate. My son's contract ended and he's collecting unemployment. The state he worked in gives a really high amt of money for unemploymnt and I'M SURE HE'S MILKING IT and I don't like that at all.
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Old 10-16-2019, 01:15 PM
  #12

I can relate too! Though I do not worry about them nearly as much as I did when they were home, I still worry. I am sad that DS2 and DDIL are struggling with infertility. I am intensely worried about our DD with unmedicated bipolar who is living out of state and substance addicted (that is a unique situation I think). None of this consumes me, but they are our children and it is always there.

Nancy
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Old 10-17-2019, 05:29 AM
  #13

They'll always be our children, so I don't know if we ever totally stop worrying. When it gets to a point of serious anxiety, then you might need to ask a dr.

Find things to fill your time so your mind doesn't wander. Make dates to spend time with them (invite them over for dinner, go out for coffee, etc...). Then they can update you and it may ease your mind some. If they're telling you way more than you need to know, just know they trust you and appreciate your input and listening ear.

Praying helps me A LOT. It gives me a peace that God sees the bigger picture, so when they're going through a rough time I have to believe it'll help them grow and be the person they were called to be.
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