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Well....that was unexpected!
Old 10-21-2019, 08:25 AM
  #1

I have been asked out on a date!

Itís just coffee after aquafit class next Monday...but hmmmmm....kind of a surprise!

This gentleman did ask me about my tattoo a couple weeks ago. I only know his first name, but we were chatting during class today and I learned he lives in my town and is renting from folks who are friends of mine, so I can find out his last name.

He said he is a grandfather, retired for a few years, and has lived in town for 6 years. Used to work as a nurse in mental health at the VA. Donít know if he is widowed or divorced.

I am not particularly interested in a romance at this time (or maybe ever...) but it would be nice to have a gentleman to go out with occasionally. I told dd and she says it seems weird. Seems weird to me too...

I will check with my friends who rent to him and get his last name and look him up, but I think he is probably a perfectly nice person based on what I already know.

Just donít know what to think! Iím surprised and flattered and cautious all at the same time...


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Coffee date
Old 10-21-2019, 09:19 AM
  #2

I would say he is doing the right things. A little conversation at the gym, then a request for coffee. Could be quite harmless. You are smart to be aware, though.
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Old 10-21-2019, 09:20 AM
  #3

That's great Lisa! I'm sure it does seem weird but remember, it's just coffee. At least he rents from friends of yours so you can get the scoop on him from them.



Keep us posted!
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Old 10-21-2019, 09:40 AM
  #4

You didnít ask, but I think itís lovely. Have fun.
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Old 10-21-2019, 10:10 AM
  #5

I think you shouldn't be surprised!
From your posts, you seem very self-sufficient, self-confident, self-reliant, and just very comfortable in handling everything without the constant need for pats on the back, or humble brags. You also have seemed to settle into all the decision making processes with all aspects of running your household by yourself. The gentleman can probable sense those qualities in you!

I do think you should be cautious. There are a lot (not all, of course) older men who seek someone to replace lost income as a result of becoming single and no longer are living on 2 incomes. Some older men seek someone to care for them- especially as they age. Some prey on women who are financially set with a home, pension, etc.

It's good that you can check on his background from his landlord who let him rent. Your post indicates that you are being level-headed in this.

Enjoy those conversations, coffee dates, and possible company on outings!

added: I have to add "caring" as a quality! The evidence is in your posts about your family and cat!



Last edited by LazyLake; 10-21-2019 at 11:29 AM..
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Old 10-21-2019, 10:56 AM
  #6

I think it is wonderful. I would ask your friends what they think. Have fun!
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Old 10-21-2019, 10:56 AM
  #7

We were witnesses to a wedding this weekend. Our friend is about 75 and his first wife died 5 years ago. He says the major reason for marrying again is companionship. He looks happy again.

And his daughters are freaked out and refused to attend. That part is sad
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surprised, flattered and cautious
Old 10-21-2019, 11:20 AM
  #8

I'm not surprised. You are a kind and interesting person so you will attract new friends. Enjoy having coffee with you new friend. Let us know how it goes. We are all curious now.

Last edited by 1956BD; 10-21-2019 at 01:39 PM..
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Old 10-21-2019, 11:54 AM
  #9

I think you are the perfect person to catch a gentleman's eye Have fun lisa53 and do tell us all about it afterwards
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Old 10-21-2019, 12:53 PM
  #10

I like that you can scope out some things about him beforehand. Your daughter may think it seems weird because she canít picture you with someone else. Go have some coffee and a chat and.........keep up updated


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Old 10-21-2019, 02:18 PM
  #11

I think thatís lovely! I hope you have a nice time. Even if youíre not interested in romance, perhaps itís a new friendship in the making.
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Nice surprise
Old 10-21-2019, 03:33 PM
  #12

I agree with other posts...not surprising, you sound confident and interesting! Have fun on your coffee date!
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date
Old 10-21-2019, 04:22 PM
  #13

Quote:
He says the major reason for marrying again is companionship. He looks happy again.
I don't think it is weird. I heard a Hidden Brain story yesterday on NPR in which they talked about loneliness, and how many men are very lonely. Your newfound friend may just be lonely too.

Quote:
but it would be nice to have a gentleman to go out with occasionally.
Yes, go for it! it won't hurt to have coffee. Get to know him a bit. Who knows? You may just get a good friend out of it.
It took me 11 years of widowhood and saying not interested in romance to being the happiest I have ever been with DH#2.
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Old 10-21-2019, 04:47 PM
  #14

How wonderful. I don't think it's weird. He might be just looking for a new friend or an occasional companion. Going for coffee doesn't imply a long term commitment. Go. Enjoy.
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Old 10-21-2019, 05:42 PM
  #15

I am sure there are a ton of mixed emotions indeed! I think its nice. Just go and chat, get to know each other and go out occasionally if you both decide you would like to do that. Just go into now with that in mind and don't worry about the future. Have fun!

Nancy
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Good
Old 10-21-2019, 08:06 PM
  #16

For you for accepting. I have gone on many dates and never look people up.

It will be nice to make a new friend.
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Old 10-22-2019, 02:54 AM
  #17

Update: I did check with my friends who are his landlords. He has rented from them for a long time. Nice quiet guy. Has been divorced longer than they knew him. Daughter living out west. Found out his last name. I did casually look him up, but didn't find much. He doesn't seem to have much of a web presence. Did find that he is exactly my age. They confirmed his work prior to retirement (ie, his story and their knowledge matched). No red flags.

Looking forward to getting to know him better...
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