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Very spoiled child- help needed!

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Lanieob Lanieob is offline
 
Joined: Sep 2013
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Lanieob
 
Joined: Sep 2013
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Very spoiled child- help needed!
Old 10-27-2018, 05:44 AM
 
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I have a student- very smart. When I first met him- I was told he was very sensitive- which I believe he is.
His mother called the principal to complain he was being bullied in my classroom- naming other students. She did not call me first and told my boss that she had emailed me and I had not responded- which is not true- I never got an email from her. When my boss spoke to me- I called her. She complained about other kids "being mean" to her son. One student she mentioned has behavioral issues- so I can understand that- but I have never witnessed anyone else interacting negatively with her son. There are 2 adults in my classroom.
This child overreacts about everything- if you ask him to move over a little bit on the rug- he pouts and puts on a grumpy face- it's the end of the world. I had to be out this week and my assistant said he was pushing back on everything- all little things. For example- who he is sitting with, etc. He also thinks he is the traffic cop of the class and barks at other kids. Frankly-I think he is coddled at home and very spoiled. How do I handle this without WW3 breaking out- as I think his mother is hyper sensitive as well.


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Lakeside Lakeside is offline
 
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spoiled in K
Old 10-27-2018, 06:04 AM
 
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Did he go to preschool? Does he have any siblings?

If this is his first experience with other children, he may not have the skills to interact with a group appropriately.

Try to approach mom with "skills he's acquiring in kindergarten," rather than anything she could see as accusing him of doing something wrong. - For the pouting on the rug, for example, use language like "He doesn't seem quite sure about how to share the rug yet." Instead of "He's hogging the other kids' space." (I know you wouldn't say it exactly like that, anyway! - I'm just exaggerating an example of the game it will feel like to make sure she feels like you're working together for something she wants.)

Also make sure to reassure mom that "many" kids say others are "being mean" because they just don't have the sophisticated language at this age to explain that the other kids are treating them as equals when they are used to being treated as adorable by the adults at home. make sure she knows he's not really in any danger, just adjusting to different expectations.

Oh, and read books in class about "brushing things off" and being resilient!
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Sbkangas5 Sbkangas5 is offline
 
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Old 10-27-2018, 10:07 AM
 
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When I have parents throw out the bullying word I ask for specific examples. I then say that I haven't seen anything that equates to bullying, but will keep a closer eye on the students and deal with any incidents that occur (which usually don't). If it's a parent that I know will come back to me, I record some very specific instances of what occurred and how all students reacted - no judgments or feelings, just what actually occurred. For example, "Johnny asked Jesus to play trains. Jesus said no because he wanted to build with legos. Johnny was upset that Jesus didn't want to play with him."
I have also had parents that I had to bring out the whole "what makes a bully" speech, and I often explain that true bullying very rarely occurs in kindergarten. 5 year olds are simply learning how to socialize and negotiate group situations, etc.

I wouldn't say that her child overreacts, just tell her how he reacts to what should be simple situations.
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