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Husband is mad at me...should he be?
Old 07-20-2019, 12:16 PM
  #1

My niece who lives in VA is having a baby in the next week. My sisterís family (itís her daughter) is flying there the second week of August (we all live in WA) and several months ago asked us to join them at a beach house they rented for a week. None of my household has ever been across the US.

My husband is a police officer who has training right ahead of the trip but he doesnít know which days heís required to go (I guess different officers are assigned different days). His chief can be somewhat difficult and DH didnít want to ask which days his training is on to try and go with us (DS and I). Between me going back to work, DS going back to college and my sister renting the beach house for THAT specific time frame that works for her family, we only have that week could go. Plus, itís not my kid having the baby and Iím not going without my sister and her family.

I told DH several times months ago to nicely ask his boss when his training is and he just refused over and over and told me to drop it.

Now that the trip is approaching, he is throwing it in my face how rude we are to go without him! Iíve asked him since May to talk to his chief about the training dates and he wouldnít, and thatís MY fault!?

So, should I have not gone because he refused to talk to his boss and given up this opportunity that may not happen again for a long time or ever? Honestly, I feel bad that heís not going but ultimately itís his own fault. Heís being a jerk and a baby in my opinion!

He had his chances and refused to even try.


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Uhh...
Old 07-20-2019, 12:18 PM
  #2

This is all on him. Sorry, DH, but you had your chance, and you refused to ask! Too bad so sad!

Have fun, and try not to let him upset you too much. This is totally on him and not at all on you!
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Old 07-20-2019, 12:34 PM
  #3

Nope, all on him.

If mine had told me to "drop it" months ago when I asked him to check repeatedly, I would have said, "Fine, but just so you know, the rest of us are going anyway and we would love for you to be there if possible. Let us know!"
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In my humble opinion
Old 07-20-2019, 12:39 PM
  #4

You are in the right. Your husband needs to ask about his training date or accept that he is unable to go on the cross country vacation. It never hurts to ask. The answer may be no but you don't know for sure until you ask.

Have a great time in Virginia.
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Old 07-20-2019, 01:25 PM
  #5

Heís probably mad at himself for not following through when you asked him to. But he canít admit that itís his own fault, so his frustration is directed at you. Youíre right, heís wrong. He is regretting it. He may not even realize thatís what heís doing!

Have a great time and face time him every day while youíre gone. Or not.


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On him
Old 07-20-2019, 01:42 PM
  #6

Nope not on you at all.
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Old 07-20-2019, 01:57 PM
  #7

Just go and enjoy yourself. Your DH will have fun just being home alone....he can get take out food and watch all his favorite shows. Who knows, it might be the best week he's had all summer! Don't feel too bad for him....he's the one who didn't make the effort and so he doesn't get to go. Take pictures and I'm sure he'll get over it.
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Old 07-20-2019, 02:04 PM
  #8

He can be mad all he wants, but itís all him.

Enjoy your trip!
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Old 07-20-2019, 02:28 PM
  #9

Yep, it's his fault he's not going and he's just taking it out on you. I would ignore, go on the trip, and have fun!
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I agree
Old 07-20-2019, 03:12 PM
  #10

It's all on him...Too bad, so sad!
Enjoy your trip!


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Old 07-20-2019, 04:58 PM
  #11

He can take his mad and learn to live with it. This is one of those good life lessons that we all get to learn from time to time. His choice not to ask his boss which days he had off had a consequence for him - guess he doesn't like realizing that, but that's the way it goes.

Next time he might be motivated to get his act together.

Go and have guilt-free fun.
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Old 07-20-2019, 07:35 PM
  #12

You gave him plenty of chances to check on his training dates, he knew the reason and he refused. You did nothing wrong! How frustrating for you though.

Nancy
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Old 07-20-2019, 08:36 PM
  #13

I agree he's probably mad at himself. It's on him. Doesn't make things feel any better between you, but you're right.
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There are some
Old 07-20-2019, 08:59 PM
  #14

Positives here though:

1. We donít have to board our cat for a week!

2. I will get a nice spouse break! DS and I have an awesome time together.

3. DH will be back on graveyard shift then and he is a ďspecialĒ kind of grouchy when he works nights. Soooooo...buh-bye! 👋🏻😂
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Old 07-21-2019, 04:52 AM
  #15

Just want to say:

Have a great time!
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