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Do you have relatives....
Old 01-03-2020, 06:15 AM
  #1

Di you have family members who just CAN'T admit they are wrong or that someone else has a good point. It is so annoying and irritating. Okay it's my mother. .

I am one who listens to what my kids (teen and young adult) say and if I was wrong or they have a valid point about something I definitely acknowledge that. I also have no problem apologizing if I need to. We are all human.

My mother just cannot do it. She will argue with the side of a barn throwing in the kitchen sink and all to try to prove that she is in the right and does nothing wrong. She just did it again this morning. It annoys the crap out of me. I try to just ignore but she continues to bring things up until I finally say my point and then it's all deflections and trying to prove her point.


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Old 01-03-2020, 06:56 AM
  #2

I used to be around a relative like that. Her favorite comment after her rebuttal was: "I'll just let you think about that."

I can't even begin to imagine the stress a person like that must go through, becoming all worked up/determined to justify his/her thinking, and then making sure it is made known. I imagine it's a daily thing, no matter the situation, for a person like that.

Their rebuttal doesn't change the other person's thinking. It only calls out their narcissistic personality. If makes the listeners (or readers if on facebook, etc.) dismiss any future rebuttals as "oh well, here she goes again!"

Relative, or not, I think we all know someone like that!
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Old 01-03-2020, 07:42 AM
  #3

I have a friend like this... she argued with me one time about the color of my cat. It was infuriating. She couldnít admit blonde cats exist.
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Old 01-03-2020, 07:44 AM
  #4

Never admitting wrongdoing/fault and never apologizing is one of MANY characteristics of a narcissistic person. My SO and I have done research on it in the last year by reading countless articles written by experts and watching various youtube videos by other experts. We started because believe it or not, all five of his other family members are narcissists. There are actually NO good qualities about a narcissist as you will start to learn, if you start learning about it.

But, they'll never agree to go to a psychiatrist to be officially diagnosed with NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) because they don't think anything's wrong with them.

My SO has decided to go no contact last year with them all...YES, including his own mother who really showed her true colors in the last 2-3 yrs to him. He's already been done with his father for the last decade or so, but the father (and mostly 2 other fam members) will still call when they're totally bored and down and out to say a quick, "love you, miss you, bye" on my SO's voicemail about once a year or so.

Narcissism is very interesting, but horrendous. Here's who we've been watching on Youtube:

This doctor has made TV appearances, etc. about narcissism and wrote a couple of books. She's also a university prof and has her own practice:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC9Q...hCo88E5muxUjmA

Another doctor who specializes in narcissism who's written 2-3 books too:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIE...wMKIhB6DCmTBlw

This life coach has written a book or two herself:
https://www.youtube.com/user/lisaaromano1/videos

Then, here's a couple of non-professionally trained people who've been through horrendous ordeals with narcissists and know all about it:

https://www.youtube.com/user/NarcissimSurvivor/videos

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKi...EJcl16w/videos
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Old 01-03-2020, 07:46 AM
  #5

Momís BF is like that. So was my EX. It is infuriating.


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Old 01-03-2020, 08:19 AM
  #6

The older my DH gets, the more like this he is. His dad was like this too. So is my MIL...Both are currently living at my house - with Fox news on at least 12 hours/day... Been with DH for almost 35 year. Can't imagine he will change at this point. He really is a good guy, just opinionated.
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Yes.
Old 01-03-2020, 08:24 AM
  #7

I think I was that relative from age 12-15.

I work with someone like this. While she does apologize on occasion, it's more of "Sorry you're upset because YOU'RE wong" rather than an acknowledgement of her own wrong doing. I am always polite and professional with her but I do not attempt to engage her.
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Old 01-03-2020, 08:25 AM
  #8

My mother. Even when you show her evidence proving she is wrong she will justify it in some way. We've all given up. We prove she's wrong and then listen quietly until she lets it go. We used to give each other "looks" while she talked. We got caught Now we avoid eye contact at all costs.
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