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Weird driving encounter
Old 07-29-2019, 01:29 PM
  #1

Upfront acknowledgment: My spouse can get rude about other drivers' mistakes. He's gotten better over the years, but still.

So today we're out running errands, and he turns on the blinker in order to get over to make an upcoming left turn. The car behind him/in the left lane, intentionally or not, speeds up so spouse can't get over and can't get to the turn lane. Spouse gets up beside the other driver and gives him the finger, then gets behind him in order to make the next left. It's rude, I know. I'm not in any way saying I agree with his actions, but that was the end of it - spouse didn't lay on the horn or tailgate the other car.

At the next light spouse moves into the turn lane - the other guy slows down, and I see him pull out his phone and take a picture of the back of our car, then he pulls up along side of us and takes more pictures of us, and the front of our car. Is it just me, or is that the weirdest thing? At no point did our cars make physical contact, no laws were broken - yeah, giving him the finger wasn't nice, but it wasn't illegal. Who does that?


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Old 07-29-2019, 01:32 PM
  #2

That's really weird. People get so upset when they're driving. I have a friend who was in a minor car accident. The woman who caused the accident started taking pictures of my friend's car, pictures of my friend, and pictures of her kids sitting in the car. She was a little nuts.
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Old 07-29-2019, 01:35 PM
  #3

Maybe your husband came off as really aggressive, and he took it as a “just in case” kind of thing?
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Old 07-29-2019, 01:39 PM
  #4

From some of the news stories I'm hearing lately, your husband is lucky the man pulled out a phone instead of a gun.
My guess is that either the man thought your husband might go into a road rage incident later and he wanted evidence to identify your husband, if needed.
Or, the man took your pictures and will use them on his facebook or talk of his city website to shame your husband!
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Old 07-29-2019, 02:22 PM
  #5

Your husband demonstrated road rage and intimidation toward another driver. The other driver probably took the pictures to report the incident to the police.
Or I suppose in this day and age it could be posted to FB.


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Old 07-29-2019, 02:23 PM
  #6

My guess is that your pics will be on some local social media site with comments about your dh's actions. I guess it is possible that the other driver did not even notice your dh's turn lights and maybe the action he took was incidental to the turn signal.
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Old 07-29-2019, 02:25 PM
  #7

I actually think things like that are common now days, sadly. I agree with the pp, there might be website shaming or something. No matter how right someone is, do not do anything to encourage road rage. I'm glad it wasn't worse. Did it make your husband think twice about doing that in the future?
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You must be in a mellow area
Old 07-29-2019, 03:04 PM
  #8

Flipping someone off, driving like that could very well get you shot where I live.
I have also seen people dragged out of their cars at stop lights ( beaten to a pulp- multiple times) and followed home.
My dad is very old and probably should not be driving. He accidently did something ( almost caused an accident) and the guy, who had a super expensive rig, followed him home, got out, and started cussing him out.
My dad was like, " Hey, man! I am really sorry. It was my fault of not seeing you." My dad was really polite about it.
It is good for the other guy that he backed off after the apology because many men here carry, my dad being 1 of them. As my dad aged, he realized that he does not want to hurt anyone, but he will defend his family if needed.
If I were you, I'd insist on driving or not travel by car on a long distance vacation with him.
I think since the guy just took pictures he probably just planned on reporting a drunk driver or will make a video shaming or mocking him online.
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Old 07-29-2019, 03:27 PM
  #9

Quote:
....that was the end of it - spouse didn't lay on the horn or tailgate the other car.
I donít understand. It sounds to me like youíre saying flipping someone off because you donít like the way they drive is okay as long as you donít tailgate or lay on the horn? Where I live tailgating is illegal and I canít even think of a reason to honk at someone who was in the proper lane. You call what the other driver did a ďmistake,Ē but I canít figure out what the other guy did to upset your husband. Was your husband mad because he turned on his blinker and the other driver didnít stop to let him in? Thatís a pretty self-centered expectation. I think the other driver wanted to get the pic/license of a driver who had exhibited road rage and had targeted it at him. I think the other driver was wise.
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Old 07-29-2019, 04:01 PM
  #10

Oregon drivers have a reputation for being polite so your DH probably had an expectation that the guy would slow down and let him in. The other driver was probably from a state where that is not an expectation and didnít understand why your DH would react angrily. They both acted rudely.

For context hereís a Portlandia sketch. This is a real thing where I live and if you add a pedestrian you could be at the intersection for the rest of the night.
https://youtu.be/0rpdQvuAnqM


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Old 07-29-2019, 04:15 PM
  #11

PoohBear! I love the video!
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Old 07-29-2019, 04:39 PM
  #12

The other guy may do something stupid like put those pics on his fb page. I've seen people do stuff like that. It's all some level of road rage. Everyone should just be nice and let people in and not get upset if they don't.
My dh has this terrible tendency to get over at the very last minute. I get so mad at him every single time. You'd think he'd have learned already!
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Old 07-29-2019, 05:06 PM
  #13

I take out my phone and take pictures when dealing with aggressive drivers. Flipping the finger after first getting next to and then behind the other driver would make me nervous.
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Old 07-29-2019, 05:19 PM
  #14

Hmmm... maybe I'm being too much of a Portlander and being nice in explaining what happened!

My spouse put his blinker on several moments ahead of time and started to merge over, then the other guy sped up to prevent him from changing lanes. So that put us parallel to the other car - then spouse shot him the bird. It was definitely not nice, but aggressive? Really?

Quote:
It sounds to me like youíre saying flipping someone off because you donít like the way they drive is okay as long as you donít tailgate or lay on the horn?
No, I'm sorry I gave that impression. I was trying to explain that I didn't think my spouse was engaging in aggressive driving or road rage.

Quote:
If I were you, I'd insist on driving or not travel by car on a long distance vacation with him.
Uh, no. For flipping someone off? Really?

Oh well, guess you had to be there. It was just a weird experience.
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Old 07-29-2019, 06:26 PM
  #15

I do think flipping the bird is an aggressive act, but I also think speeding up to prevent someone from merging in is aggressive.

I'm guessing the pictures are going to end up on social media (or maybe got sent in to the cops or something).

You said this, though:
Quote:
The car behind him/in the left lane, intentionally or not, speeds up so spouse can't get over and can't get to the turn lane. Spouse gets up beside the other driver and gives him the finger, then gets behind him in order to make the next left.
At least in your first post, you weren't sure the other driver's act was intentional. If it wasn't, then the action of your dh is the only aggressive one that took place. If he truly didn't know he was doing that (the other driver), then he was probably taking pictures because he was worried about road rage and might have had no clue why your dh was flipping him off. Why wouldn't your dh just slow down and try to merge in behind him?

I wasn't there, I really don't know, but it's situations like this (on both sides) that make me like driving less and less.
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I think you live in a way different place
Old 07-29-2019, 06:40 PM
  #16

than me. Road rage can get really bad from what I have seen here.
It is good if it did not shake you up and was just a weird experience.
I guess it would feel weird if someone started taking pictures of you while driving.
I did something driving 2x that has set the wrath of complete stranger men on me. At least I just got screamed at both times. Both of them were huge guys who scared the beegeebers out of me.
I did not say much because both times I was so stunned. Men tend to fight each other more. (Men are usually less likely to attack a female physically with road rage....JUST from my experience.)
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Old 07-29-2019, 06:44 PM
  #17

Quote:
At least in your first post, you weren't sure the other driver's act was intentional. If it wasn't, then the action of your dh is the only aggressive one that took place
Yep, absolutely.

I should add that I'm not having any of this conversation with my spouse; he knows I think his actions were rude and uncalled for.

Last edited by pdxteacher; 07-29-2019 at 07:13 PM.. Reason: clarified
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Old 07-29-2019, 09:10 PM
  #18

Quote:
I should add that I'm not having any of this conversation with my spouse; he knows I think his actions were rude and uncalled for.
If only we had more control over our spouses....

But that would mean they'd have more control over us. And we know how faulty their thinking can be
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Old 07-29-2019, 10:43 PM
  #19

Quote:
My spouse put his blinker on several moments ahead of time and started to merge over, then the other guy sped up to prevent him from changing lanes.
DH and I moved to Oregon from California (sorry )It took us a while but we eventually got used to the extra-polite-sometimes-to-a-fault nature of Oregonian drivers. Then every time we noticed someone do what you just described, we'd say "Californian" and 99% of the time, that's what the plate would indicate.

Within the last 2-3 years, though, it's not always a CA plate. So now we just say, "Californian who moved here more than thirty days ago."

I think the problem is that it's not predominantly Oregonians on the road anymore. It's transplants. And now we get this every man for himself vibe on the road.

(I know we are transplants too, but we liked the polite vibe. Except the four-way stops and braking suddenly in heavy traffic to let someone turn out of a driveway.)
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Possibly
Old 07-30-2019, 04:24 AM
  #20

Where the other folks possibly afraid it would escalate band they had your plates?


Or in my small town you would show up on the local concerned citizens Facebook page being bashed
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Old 07-30-2019, 07:34 AM
  #21

Like others have said, flipping someone off isn't exactly a "bad thing, but that's all he did" type of action. Your husband is the one doing the FIRST hostile action. So what if the guy sped up to block you guys from turning. That's happened to us all. We just go down to the next light and turn, no big deal. You were "running errands" anyway like you said so you guys had all the time in the world to drive and do errands.

In this day and age, if your husband keeps up his hot temper, something bad is going to happen one day because people can't flip people off, roll down the windows and cuss them out, etc.

I hope this was a good scare to your husband to not do this kind of thing anymore because LazyLake is right in that he's lucky it wasn't a gun and the guy didn't shoot you both. It's happened before. But of course, no one thinks it will happen TO THEM.

In the menatime, you should tell your husband you're not riding with him in the car as much (or at all) if he continues with his temper. He just risked his life AND YOURS even though he'd never think so. You said he's gotten better "over the years", but he needs to stop doing this NOW.
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Old 07-30-2019, 08:54 AM
  #22

Hey folks - respectfully, stop with the bashing of my spouse. As I've said, I don't agree in any way with what he did and he knows I think what he did was wrong. Is your significant other perfect in all circumstances?

Quote:
In the menatime, you should tell your husband you're not riding with him in the car as much (or at all) if he continues with his temper.
Again, respectfully, no. This would be an overreaction to the situation.

We're all human, we make mistakes. I probably won't post about them anymore, though. Cause dang, this was a pretty big pile-on.
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Old 07-30-2019, 10:55 AM
  #23

Quote:
So what if the guy sped up to block you guys from turning. That's happened to us all.
If you're from California, it has. Not so much in Oregon until recently.

I think the refusal to drive with someone who was frustrated one time or accusing him of taking his life in his hands by flipping someone off are more reactionary than the flipping off was.
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Old 07-30-2019, 02:37 PM
  #24

I think the other driver was probably just covering himself in case things went wrong. He had reason to assume your husband has a temper. I'm not trying to pile on. My husband has also been known to do things like that, and I tell him it's stupid because many people carry guns.
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Old 07-30-2019, 02:45 PM
  #25

I've flipped a few people off in my day, and I'm not an aggressive person at all, just frustrated. I don't really do it anymore though because I'm worried about what the other person would do.

The only reason I can think of taking a picture would be if they were worried things would escalate. They may post it online too, but it seems a bit odd for just getting flipped off.
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