“Poor baby.” - ProTeacher Community




Home Join Now Search My Favorites
Help


      The VENT

“Poor baby.”

>

Reply
 
Thread Tools
NewCAteacher NewCAteacher is offline
 
Joined: May 2016
Posts: 324
Full Member

NewCAteacher
 
Joined: May 2016
Posts: 324
Full Member
“Poor baby.”
Old 11-05-2019, 09:36 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #1

Someone else commented on this. About feeling sorry for kids when they do something violent or extremely disruptive. We had a student assault a teacher and several other kids yesterday. He also called a few other kids some really awful names. The consensus was “poor baby!!!” No. Poor everyone else!!!!


NewCAteacher is offline   Reply With Quote

PindleLou888 PindleLou888 is online now
 
Joined: Jul 2018
Posts: 194
Full Member

PindleLou888
 
Joined: Jul 2018
Posts: 194
Full Member

Old 11-05-2019, 09:51 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #2

I agree with you. That infuriates me. I understand what they mean, trauma and all of that, but the other kids should NOT have to deal with that!

I'm seriously thinking about getting political about this issue....the 20% or so kids who are hijacking the 80 percent's education, especially in the inner city. I taught inner city for 15 or 16 years. It's so sad to see the kids who are sitting there wanting to learn, but can't to the full extent because of the violent kids and the kids who are a CONSTANT disruption.

When you think about it, it's a civil rights issue. This problem disproportionately affects poor kids and children of color. Even when my mom taught inner city 50 years ago, the few ruined it for the rest of them.

Lack of an adequate education is ruining their lives.
It's a disgrace.
PindleLou888 is online now   Reply With Quote
Ruby tunes's Avatar
Ruby tunes Ruby tunes is offline
 
Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 3,539
Senior Member

Ruby tunes
 
Ruby tunes's Avatar
 
Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 3,539
Senior Member
Regarding "poor" baby
Old 11-05-2019, 03:39 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #3

Something is seriously wrong when schools allow a small group of kids to frequently disrupt the education of the majority. Totally agree that it's a civil rights issue. Feeling sorry for the disrupters does nothing but enable them to continue their negative behavior, while it punishes the others who do want to learn.
Ruby tunes is offline   Reply With Quote
AlwaysSummer
 
 
Guest

AlwaysSummer
 
 
Guest

Old 11-05-2019, 03:57 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #4

The real problem is saying someone is a bad parent is akin to cursing. I'm sure if mom was made to pay for the damage their child or put in jail, it would end. I bet if being married was a requirement, we wouldn't have these issues.
  Reply With Quote
Tounces's Avatar
Tounces Tounces is offline
 
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 2,721
Senior Member

Tounces
 
Tounces's Avatar
 
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 2,721
Senior Member
Poor baby
Old 11-05-2019, 04:41 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #5

Yep, sick of it too.
Then the parents expect it too.
Bleeding hearts think they’re doing good but are actually not helping them at all.


Tounces is offline   Reply With Quote
PindleLou888 PindleLou888 is online now
 
Joined: Jul 2018
Posts: 194
Full Member

PindleLou888
 
Joined: Jul 2018
Posts: 194
Full Member

Old 11-05-2019, 06:05 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #6

Exactly Tounces the Driving Cat. We are not doing the violent/disruptive students any favors. They need more than what we can provide in the classroom.
PindleLou888 is online now   Reply With Quote
Kinderkr4zy's Avatar
Kinderkr4zy Kinderkr4zy is offline
 
Joined: Nov 2015
Posts: 1,573
Senior Member

Kinderkr4zy
 
Kinderkr4zy's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2015
Posts: 1,573
Senior Member

Old 11-05-2019, 06:48 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #7

Quote:
I bet if being married was a requirement, we wouldn't have these issues.
I am not sure if you are aware but this is a very offensive thing to say, even on PT-as there are plenty of us on PT that find ourselves single through no fault of our own and not because we poor parents or human beings. I know plenty of horrible, and I mean horrible, married folks. I had a very violent ODD student last year with a married, 2 parent household and a stay at-home-mom. Being married doesn't make you a good parent, it just means you dont have to do all the screwing up alone. Please be mindful that there are plenty of single parents here on PT and I haven't talked to a neglectful one yet.

Your comment seems to say that, because no one wanted to marry me I am somehow a bad person and doomed to be an inadequate mother. I assure you I am single BECAUSE I PUT 100% INTO PARENTING, I dont have anything left to put into another relationship and I have never dated anyone in the last 16 years so my I could be the best mom I can be. Please consider these things when you post the things like you did above. Its inaccurate and can offend.
Kinderkr4zy is offline   Reply With Quote
NewCAteacher NewCAteacher is offline
 
Joined: May 2016
Posts: 324
Full Member

NewCAteacher
 
Joined: May 2016
Posts: 324
Full Member
Kinderkr4zy
Old 11-05-2019, 06:58 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #8

I totally agree. I have no doubt you are a fabulous parent, just by reading your posts! I don’t think a child’s behavior has anything to do with whether or not parents are married. That was a pretty yucky comment.
NewCAteacher is offline   Reply With Quote
FancyFish's Avatar
FancyFish FancyFish is online now
 
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 5,839
Senior Member

FancyFish
 
FancyFish's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 5,839
Senior Member

Old 11-05-2019, 07:30 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #9

Quote:
I bet if being married was a requirement, we wouldn't have these issues
What an awful, incredibly insulting thing to say! I am, frankly, horrified by this statement. I know many wonderful single parents and some pretty crummy married ones.
FancyFish is online now   Reply With Quote
Tounces's Avatar
Tounces Tounces is offline
 
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 2,721
Senior Member

Tounces
 
Tounces's Avatar
 
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 2,721
Senior Member
Single
Old 11-05-2019, 08:02 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #10

I agree. Very good point. Being married doesn’t necessarily mean you’re a good or better parent. I feel the same way about low income parents. When I was in college I was both. I had to listen to a professor lecture about how low income parents didn’t talk to their kids as much so their vocabulary was lower, or they didn’t read to them, didn’t have books in the home etc. I did! I went to the library all the time. My son used adult-like vocabulary in 1st grade. He spent time with grandparents, aunts, uncles and other adults a lot. You can’t lump people together and make comments like this.


Tounces is offline   Reply With Quote
Everywhere
 
 
Guest

Everywhere
 
 
Guest
It’s not just a ethnic or poor problem
Old 11-05-2019, 08:27 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #11

I work in a school that is classified as middle class and predominantly all white. We still have many students who are disruptive and violent on almost a daily basis.
  Reply With Quote
amherstteach's Avatar
amherstteach amherstteach is offline
 
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 860
Senior Member

amherstteach
 
amherstteach's Avatar
 
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 860
Senior Member

Old 11-06-2019, 05:15 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #12

AlwaysSummer- I think that is a huge generalization. I know plenty of single moms (and dads) or just people who have been together forever and aren't married that have kids and are awesome parents. I also know a lot of people who are together that have really crappy kids.
amherstteach is offline   Reply With Quote
kahluablast's Avatar
kahluablast kahluablast is online now
 
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 19,329
Senior Member

kahluablast
 
kahluablast's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 19,329
Senior Member

Old 11-06-2019, 05:42 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #13

Most of our kids who are the most disruptive students come from 2 parent families. Often with good incomes.

There are some correlations, but it isn't an exclusive club.

What is true is that our bottom 25% are mostly low income.

It would be nice to have all the answers. What we teachers know is that we can't teach effectively if we have to spend a large portion of our time correcting behaviors and dealing with extremes.
kahluablast is online now   Reply With Quote
PindleLou888 PindleLou888 is online now
 
Joined: Jul 2018
Posts: 194
Full Member

PindleLou888
 
Joined: Jul 2018
Posts: 194
Full Member

Old 11-06-2019, 09:00 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #14

"I work in a school that is classified as middle class and predominantly all white. We still have many students who are disruptive and violent on almost a daily basis."

That's true. But in the inner city multiply that by at least 5. Kids in the inner city are deprived of a full education in much, much greater numbers.

It's not because there is something wrong with the kids in the inner city. It's that so many of them have so much more baggage , that is more severe than the suburbs.

BUT those kids who are acting out in violent ways or constantly disruptive are not getting their needs met in a regular school....some people may call it "warehousing kids" but they need to be in a special school until they can prove that they can make it in the regular school. Some people will say that a special behavior school is discriminatory because the kids (at least in the inner city) would be mostly minorities. But the rest of their regular school is mostly minority. What about those minority children? Who's looking out for them?

Last edited by PindleLou888; 11-06-2019 at 09:44 AM..
PindleLou888 is online now   Reply With Quote
Fractured Fractured is offline
 
Joined: Jan 2018
Posts: 335
Full Member

Fractured
 
Joined: Jan 2018
Posts: 335
Full Member

Old 11-06-2019, 10:51 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #15

I see bad behavior from all different kinds of social economic schools. I wouldn’t say there is a pattern. I have also enjoyed subbing at some alternative high schools and found the students to be really cool to interact with.

I know lots of single parents and they are awesome. Marriage doesn’t make a home stable.
Fractured is offline   Reply With Quote
Aillya Aillya is offline
 
Joined: Nov 2015
Posts: 107
Full Member

Aillya
 
Joined: Nov 2015
Posts: 107
Full Member

Old 11-06-2019, 01:59 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #16

I substitute teach primarily in 2 high schools within a large district. One is very large (roughly 4000 students) and takes in most of the students in the city. The other is much smaller (only about 200 students) but deals primarily with students who have baggage, to put it short. Although both schools exist in the same affluent city, the smaller alternative school is situated within the city's poorer neighborhood, while the bigger and nicer school is nestled in the suburban "rich side" of town.

Up until this year, I'd say I enjoyed working at both schools equally. However, a change has occurred that I've noticed, where the big school has begun shipping their problematic students to the alternative school en masse, at the first sign of trouble, which has made subbing at the small alternative school an absolute nightmare. Where its student body used to consist of kids who'd missed days due to family issues, or had gotten pregnant but still wanted to graduate, now there are kids being shipped over for doing #### that would've gotten them suspended at the big school, but the principal of the small school welcomes them in for some reason (probably a funding incentive). Prior to this year, the worst type of student we'd get was one who'd been to a juvenile detention center for something minor, and was focused on getting back on track. This year, it seems like MOST of these kids have parole officers, defiant/violent attitudes, actual drug addictions, and a hatred for education clashing with a desire to graduate, so they show up and ruin it for the 5 or 6 kids who want to learn.

Frankly... I hate the change. I have no impact there since I work there once or twice a week, but it just feels so bad to watch. What's worse is, the big school's decision to ship their problems away has led to their behavior problems virtually disappearing. I have jobs here where I've shown up and felt bad about even getting paid because I didn't feel necessary. The kids just got to work on their own. And I realize the only reason that's possible is because every problematic child has been (for lack of a better word) contained in a school that's falling apart because of it.

I ask why we can't just suspend these kids instead. Stop shuffling them around. They don't want to be here. Their teachers rejoice when they're absent that day. Other students are terrified of them. They're violent, disrespectful, and take joy in being threatening to others. But according to the district rules, they can't be suspended unless they actually strike someone, and even then it's not a permanent expulsion. It blows my ####ing mind. We literally allow this because butts in seats = more funding. There's no other reason I can see for it. And admin are fine with it because they never have to see these kids day to day.

And I'll say it now before someone fills in the blanks for me: these kids are from varying parts of the city, rich and poor, diverse like a politically correct childrens book. The commonality is their behavior, which is atrocious. One of the worst students I've had, who steps out of his parents' luxury car and puts on a fake set of "grills" over his teeth once his parents have driven away, and has a history of violent enraged tantrums where he's damaged property and thrown objects at students and staff, comes from the wealthy side of town. I don't want to make my rant about rich vs poor. I'm just sick of how we never suspend these kids. They are literally a cancer (as in, I've seen them spread and influence well behaved students and they don't stop until they're either removed or the school stops being effective/shuts down) and they shouldn't be tolerated, I'm so so sick of dealing with kids like this every god damned day and then watching the administration make up excuses for them instead of doing right by everyone and expelling them. Get them out.

Last edited by Aillya; 11-06-2019 at 04:15 PM..
Aillya is offline   Reply With Quote
AlwaysSummer
 
 
Guest

AlwaysSummer
 
 
Guest

Old 11-06-2019, 06:51 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #17

I stand by what I say. I was raised by single mom because my father died.
  Reply With Quote
ElizabethJoy's Avatar
ElizabethJoy ElizabethJoy is offline
 
Joined: Sep 2015
Posts: 483
Senior Member

ElizabethJoy
 
ElizabethJoy's Avatar
 
Joined: Sep 2015
Posts: 483
Senior Member
Single parents
Old 11-07-2019, 08:42 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #18

Quote:
I bet if being married was a requirement, we wouldn't have these issues
As the child of a single parent who STILL has never met their father, I can assure you I was always a compliant, well-mannered student. Not sure what single parenting has to do with this topic. I'm pretty sure poor parenting is the issue here

Having said that, I do agree that parents should pay to replace damaged property.
ElizabethJoy is offline   Reply With Quote
mds2
 
 
Guest

mds2
 
 
Guest

Old 11-08-2019, 04:03 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #19

" I had a very violent ODD student last year with a married, 2 parent household and a stay at-home-mom. Being married doesn't make you a good parent, it just means you dont have to do all the screwing up alone."

This is offensive also. Having a child with a mental illness does not mean the parent was a poor parent. Even the best help and trying all of the strategies of the doctors and therapists do not always "fix" the person with the mental illness.

I guess people equate perfect children with good parenting. It doesn't always work like that.
  Reply With Quote
PindleLou888 PindleLou888 is online now
 
Joined: Jul 2018
Posts: 194
Full Member

PindleLou888
 
Joined: Jul 2018
Posts: 194
Full Member

Old 11-08-2019, 10:53 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #20

Well-put, Aillya
PindleLou888 is online now   Reply With Quote
kitekrazy kitekrazy is offline
 
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 737
Senior Member

kitekrazy
 
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 737
Senior Member

Old 11-09-2019, 07:54 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #21

"I agree with you. That infuriates me. I understand what they mean, trauma and all of that, but the other kids should NOT have to deal with that!

I'm seriously thinking about getting political about this issue....the 20% or so kids who are hijacking the 80 percent's education, especially in the inner city. I taught inner city for 15 or 16 years. It's so sad to see the kids who are sitting there wanting to learn, but can't to the full extent because of the violent kids and the kids who are a CONSTANT disruption.

When you think about it, it's a civil rights issue. This problem disproportionately affects poor kids and children of color. Even when my mom taught inner city 50 years ago, the few ruined it for the rest of them.

Lack of an adequate education is ruining their lives.
It's a disgrace."

You would love reading the articles of Walter Williams.

I'm for school choice but I also think schools should have the choice as well. No giving pearls to swine.
kitekrazy is offline   Reply With Quote
kitekrazy kitekrazy is offline
 
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 737
Senior Member

kitekrazy
 
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 737
Senior Member

Old 11-09-2019, 07:58 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #22

"As the child of a single parent who STILL has never met their father, I can assure you I was always a compliant, well-mannered student. Not sure what single parenting has to do with this topic. I'm pretty sure poor parenting is the issue here"


You are the small minority. Therefor we condition our thought process the negates the 95% accuracy.
kitekrazy is offline   Reply With Quote
Zia's Avatar
Zia Zia is offline
 
Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 17,007
Senior Member

Zia
 
Zia's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 17,007
Senior Member

Old 11-10-2019, 06:28 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #23

I'm not even going to touch the single parent tangent because, well...it's ridiculous and insulting.


So far as "poor baby" goes, though, I can have empathy and sympathy for a child (it must be terrifying to be so out of control), while not condoning the behavior.
Zia is offline   Reply With Quote

Join the conversation! Post as a guest or become a member today. New members welcome!

Reply

 

>
The VENT
Thread Tools




Sign Up Now

Sign Up FREE | ProTeacher Help | BusyBoard

All times are GMT -8. The time now is 04:12 PM.

Copyright © 2019 ProTeacher®
For individual use only. Do not copy, reproduce or transmit.
source: www.proteacher.net