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Whoops...I made a young sub?future teacher mad
Old 02-09-2013, 09:58 PM
  #1

I made a girl on FB mad and I didn't mean to. She is a sub in our district and she added me because she said she heard good things about me and wanted to have teachers as friends for future contacts and networking.

Her status update today was "I am so tired of taking Sh*t from all these teachers . I can't wait until I am a teacher because their jobs are so much easier than being a sub. "

My response was:"While I find teaching to be the harder of the two personally, I have found that subbing was such a valuable experience. Every day of stress and struggle will make you a better teacher . I learned more from subbing than I ever did from student teaching and it really helped me to learn the age levels I was best suited for . I always wanted to teach first grade...until I subbed! It was an amazing experience. Ignore the negative people...they will still be there. Just be the best you can be." She is young (23) and always updates about work stress and stuff so I thought this might be an encouraging response.

Then her sister resonded "I don't know who that chick thinks she is but you better tell her subbing Ain't at all easy"

Me: Oh I know it is not easy. I don't think there is an easy job in education at all. They both have their ups and downs. I tend to get more stressed out by the politics...IEPS, AYP, BIPS, parental complaints, working weekends, documentation, grading and long hours. Subbing has tougher managmenet and sometimes no support. It can be different on different days and years. I was just talking about my personal experiences. To me, teaching is harder because there is more of what stresses me out involved.

Sub: My mom was a teacher and never worked a weekend unless she did the Science Olympiad and that was HER choice! I have no clue what you think you are talking about. Seriously? I go to the f*cking basketball games on the weekends and work from 7:30 to 3:30 and then it is family time. No different from any other teacher I know. You don't need to be commenting on my f*cking work ethic.That's F*cking bullsh*t.

I quickly apologized from trying to talk to her when she was obviously venting and it obviously was not a good time to have a professional conversation but that I am bowing out, enjoyed getting to know her for our short time of being Facebook friends and good luck in her future endeavors. Then I unfriended her quickly. I didn't think I was commenting on her work ethic. I really don't know her personally but she seemed like a nice girl and I thought she added me for some advice and for a possible future reference but I think I got it all wrong somehow. I am confused. But I do realize that advice is not always appreciated and can be very weirdly taken out of context. It was freakish. I have little professional conversations with teacher students all the time and this has never happened before.

What really is interesting is that her father is a big time politician in our state and her mother did not teach for too terribly long and it was over twenty years ago. Her page is public and she has many students on it. I really wanted to warn her about that (and have in a roundabout way) but decided to leave it alone. She may have to learn the hard way...but since her dad is such a big name I don't know if she will have to learn for sure or not.



Last edited by janeypoo; 02-09-2013 at 10:29 PM..
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Future Teacher?
Old 02-09-2013, 10:25 PM
  #2

Maybe not if she keeps mouthing off like that! Like you, I thought what you said was encouraging, but I think both you and I assumed you were talking to a rational person. I'm confused about her "work ethic" comments too. Maybe she was having a bad day...or something? She and her sister ("that chick?") sound like a couple of gems!
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Old 02-09-2013, 10:33 PM
  #3

I think she is getting crap for having a poor work ethic and took it out on me. She always comments about teachers "talking Sh*t" about her and the job she does when really she is so super awesome and dedicated. I think she has to believe she works longer and harder than the teachers who talk badly about her and I may have alluded to her that she may not, although it was not intentional. That's what I get out of it. It really didn't make a lot of sense in context with what I said, but I must have struck a chord. She was offended that I thought subbing was less difficult (really I was just talking about for me, not always universally) and then i mentioned long hours and was she looking for reassurance that teaching will be easier and just freaked out on me. I think she must have really gotten reemed on Friday because she had a similar status then < i just decided to stick my fat foot in today.

I keep checking on her page because I do that when I know I have hurt someone's feelings (being public I still can) and I removed my comments. She has about six kids saying "Don"t let the teachers make you leave! We love you and wish you were our teacher Miss Amanda" type comments. I don't think they are speaking in reference to what I said but to the stauses themselves. She has comments like this from kids ater all her "bad day" statuses, all including bad language. The kids are middle school aged . She might get into huge trouble since she has students on her page. I don;t know! This is bad. She might be a trainwreck and I am probably lucky I am not on her friend's list. Should I have a teacher friend warn her or just let her do what she is going to do? I feel torn...she was such a brat but she has a lot of heart in her I think. She is just immature but just started teacher school so she has some time to grow up. I would hate to have her best work experience end in being fired for something stupid like Facebook and friending kids and being a mess right now in her life.

Last edited by janeypoo; 02-09-2013 at 10:52 PM..
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This is a tough one...
Old 02-09-2013, 10:58 PM
  #4

I definitely think "unfriending" was the way to go for you! Perhaps you could send her a private message in a few days (give her some time to cool down a bit). I was a beginning teacher what feels like not so long ago, and I definitely wanted to be given the information that you are trying to pass on. However, I never was a sub so I never got that end of it... and my daddy certainly isn't a big name in any city, let alone the town that I did my student teaching/first years. She honestly may not care because her daddy will "take care of everything" if she gets in trouble (I'm just assuming as, obviously, I don't know her at all).

Personally, I would NEVER add a student to my FB page. I don't even add them several years after they leave my class. I don't even want their parents as friends while their kid is in my class OR after their kid is finished with my class in the off chance they are just looking for ways to get to me (I know - very paranoid/pessimistic.. but lets be realistic - we're all human). I hate to say it, but I don't think a "lowly teacher" will have any impact on her. I think it would sting more if it came from someone that would be hiring her one day. She needs to know that it's inappropriate, but I don't think she'll listen to you or any of your teacher friends.
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Old 02-09-2013, 11:07 PM
  #5

She is a train wreck waiting to happen. Stay as far away from this as you can. You said nothing that warranted her responses. If I were you, I'd copy what you wrote here so your memory will be fresh if you're ever questioned.

Honestly I think your biggest issue right now is probably whether you should report what you've seen on her facebook page to administration.


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Old 02-09-2013, 11:10 PM
  #6

I took a screenshot just in case....
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Wow! Young Hero.Naivity...
Old 02-10-2013, 04:43 AM
  #7

Your were kind. Your advice was sound and very wise. Then you were patient. I think its time to back away from this ticking time bomb and focus on others who truly want help.
Yes, I remember being an 'all that' sub and thinking that I was practically doing a teacher's whole job, but for less $. I remember the ego high of the kids saying they preferred me. Its part of being young and eager AND NAIVE!! But this girl won't cut it in education -- AT ALL!
She's just too sassy and unprofessional in her choices and profanity. Education is soooo different from when her mom taught, but if you haven't been there/done that it's hard to fathom. She may fit in well to the hire 'em/fire 'em/replace 'em movement for a year or two, but I don't think this one can be 'saved' to become a 'real/career' teacher and that's probably best for the kiddos. I think patience remains the number one characteristic required of a teacher and just the few interactions you referred to demonstrate that you have it and she clearly doesn't.
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Old 02-10-2013, 04:52 AM
  #8

I would be forwarding that screen shot to the powers that be. As some one else said, she is a train wreck. If that is how she handles the pressures of being a sub, how is she going to handle he politics of teaching? And somewhere along the line folks have got to learn that Facebook is not the place to run your mouth. And I run my mouth plenty.
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Old 02-10-2013, 05:02 AM
  #9

I think you were very patient in your responses. I'm glad you gave her the "boot salute" (oh my, haven't used that expression in a while ). She sounds very immature and certainly unprofessional.
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Do it in person
Old 02-10-2013, 05:08 AM
  #10

I don't know that I would forward it, but I would print it out and show my principal in person. I may even go as far as to say that I don't want this type of person working with my impressionable kids. Please don't allow her in my classroom. Her attitude WILL come through, kids WILL pick up on it. I don't want to come back to a room of disrespect because students think my job is so easy. She is obviously getting into teaching for the wrong reasons. She will not last.


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Old 02-10-2013, 05:17 AM
  #11

I don't know how patient I would have been had it been a "nameless faceless" place like PT. . I tend to let my real feeling leak out here but I have to be professional there. I am on a two year leave but return next year if there is an opening at my old school (always is) but I ow that principal well and she is on my friend"s list so I may go ahead and clue her in.
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Old 02-10-2013, 05:17 AM
  #12

I guess that was vague, but I never meant forward as electronically and anonymously. I figured janeypoo would talk to her P.
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Ugh
Old 02-10-2013, 05:24 AM
  #13

Overly sensitive with a potty mouth? yah, she'll last long teaching *snort*
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Old 02-10-2013, 06:24 AM
  #14

Wow, I would have blocked her at the first response! She obviously has no clue. If a hiring administrator looks at her Facebook page, she won't even get an interview. It won't matter who her dad is.
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Old 02-10-2013, 06:28 AM
  #15

I would have unfriended her too. I may also have PMed her and given her the advice that she might not want to make comments like that if she's hoping to get a teaching job. She's making herself look very bad.

But yep, she'll have to learn the hard way. When my brother was job hunting (not within teaching) he deleted his FB page because he was a young fresh out of college kid and not everything people posted was always appropriate for a future employer to see.
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Old 02-10-2013, 06:46 AM
  #16

Janeypoo, I know it is in your nature to be compassionate and to help others, but get out of this whole situation. I totally believe in two things: your judged by the company you keep, and you sometimes have to crash before you learn.

You tried reaching out to this young woman and she doesn't get that you're trying to help her. Let her learn it for herself. She'll probably keep up the rantign and raving, and it'll bite her in the a$$. A parent is going to be reading their kid's FB and see the kid responding to her posts, a future employer will do a search of her online, or a superior will see her posts.

Sh!t rolls downhill. Stay clean.
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Old 02-10-2013, 07:01 AM
  #17

Like everyone else said, Unfriend her. If she is using that type of language on FB she obviously has no filter. I have been reading other posts regarding FB and friending students, staff etc. Interestingly the people that I have friended on FB keep it clean. The way she writes tells a lot about her character. She sounds like a spoiled brat.
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Old 02-10-2013, 07:09 AM
  #18

Quote:
She is a sub in our district and she added me because she said she heard good things about me and wanted to have teachers as friends for future contacts and networking.
Wow if she's trying to make friends and set up networking contacts she sure has a funny way of showing it!
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slowly back away
Old 02-10-2013, 07:57 AM
  #19

Put your hands in the air and slowly back away from the computer. Put the keyboard down and no one will get hurt.

Delete her as a friend, delete the screen shot. Forget you ever had the 'conversation'. Facebook isn't the place to have a professional conversation and it isn't your job to contact or inform anyone of her attitude.

Shake your head in dismay and move on.
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Old 02-10-2013, 09:54 AM
  #20

I'm sorry to hear her dad is such a big name in the community because as unprofessional as she is she shouldn't get a teaching job! However, because of him, she probably will. There was nothing wrong with your responses, very polite and professional!

Nancy
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agree
Old 02-10-2013, 02:08 PM
  #21

I agree that you didn't do anything wrong. You responded in a nice manner. Having conversations like that on fb isn't a way to build dialogue between teachers! I probably wouldn't report this to anyone no matter how much I would want to. I would let it go, and hopefully she will sink herself.
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