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Question about Santa
Old 06-29-2020, 10:14 AM
  #1

My DS turned 11 a few weeks ago. He is heading to 6th grade next year(whatever that looks like). He is an only child and is a smart, kind and thoughtful kid. He is also very innocent. He still believes whole heartedly in Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fariy. I had always said if he ever asked about them, I would be honest. Heís never asked. Not once. We have taken him out of public school and enrolled him in a private college prep school for the next year. Mainly because our middle schools are huge, overcrowded and have been experiencing some very serious issues. ( teen pregnancy, drugs and gang activity especially). I know the new school will have some of those issues, but it is much smaller and the class size is 16 as opposed to 30+. Anyway, I am wondering if my DH and I should talk to him about Santa now, or should we wait till he asks? I donít want him to be made fun of this Christmas when he starts talking about Santa. I am having trouble adapting to the new tween I have in my house. I canít believe my little one is off to middle school.


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Santa
Old 06-29-2020, 10:19 AM
  #2

Quote:
Anyway, I am wondering if my DH and I should talk to him about Santa now, or should we wait till he asks?
I wouldn't be surprised if he has known all along, but is playing along with you in order not to hurt your feelings. If I am wrong, then I do feel that you should tell him. Going to middle school will be a huge adjustment, and if they start making fun of him for it he will see it as a betrayal on your side.
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Old 06-29-2020, 10:28 AM
  #3

I truly donít think he knows. He talks all year about Santa making toys and how hard it must be. The betrayal part is what I am worried about. Just makes me sad that we are losing that magical part of the holiday with him.
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When I told my kids about Santa
Old 06-29-2020, 10:47 AM
  #4

I told them that Santa wasnít just one person. As we mature, we all become Santa in a way, and we become the gift givers and the ones who carry on the magic of Christmas. They loved being a part of the secret.
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Old 06-29-2020, 11:49 AM
  #5

I didn't tell either of my girls about Santa. Each of them approached me about it.

Younger DD is 13 and last Christmas (she was 12) was when she approached me and told me that I didn't have to worry about Santa anymore.


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Old 06-29-2020, 12:26 PM
  #6

I teach third grade and Santa is such a touchy subject that I try to avoid it every Christmas season. I normally have a few kids who still believe but a large percentage of them do not.

I may be in the minority but I would definitely talk to him, sixth grade is quite late to still genuinely believe in all of those things. Many of my third graders just throw their teeth away when they fall out as they donít believe in the tooth fairy at all.

If you look for ďSanta letterĒ on Pinterest there are great ones that explain it to kids in a way that says everybody is Santa and helps to spread the magic.

Totally off topic but:
I personally, even as a kid, thought all three things were creepy. Why does a random bunny bring me candy? Why does some fairy want my teeth? Why is an old man coming in my house and bringing me toys?

I have a family friend who does not do Santa in their house. They believe itís important for their children to understand that mom and dad work hard all year long to be able to afford their gifts and that not everything they want is always feasible.
Working at a Title I school itís hard for the little kids to understand why ďSantaĒ brings some kids super extravagant gifts and others get little to nothing.
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Old 06-29-2020, 12:45 PM
  #7

I would most definitely talk to him. I'm honestly kind of surprised he hasn't run into issues at school already. I like the idea of framing it as being part of keeping up the magic for younger kids (I know he doesn't have siblings, but just in general). I'd talk to him now when it won't feel like as hot button of an issue rather than waiting until the holiday season starts.
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more on santa
Old 06-29-2020, 12:46 PM
  #8

The PPs gave you some good information.

Quote:
As we mature, we all become Santa in a way
I want to add that when my DDs were younger, we started playing Santa to some children in a Mexican orphanage. We would get a couple of letters from the children (dictated) in which they asked Santa for things like toys. DDs and I went shopping and got them some of the items as well as some useful things like socks, etc. We would wrap the gifts and label them "from Santa with love." My DDs learned early on that we can all be Santas.
This could be a way for you to approach it, although he will start middle school months before Christmas, which would make it more difficult to manage.
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Old 06-29-2020, 01:17 PM
  #9

Thanks for the input! I was thinking about it today listening to him talk about his Santa list. I was thinking that DH and I could talk to him before school starts so that it wouldnít be a huge issue. Iím surprised so many of you have students who donít believe. I teach 4th grade and most of our 4th and 5th graders still firmly believe.
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Old 06-29-2020, 03:09 PM
  #10

In my experience, age 8 is the upper limit for believing. But I also live and work in an area where Santa isn't very generous.

You need to tell him.


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Old 06-29-2020, 03:28 PM
  #11

Wow! I work in a large elementary school of about 800 kids. Most of our 5th graders believe. Some of the parents of students in DSís class talked to their kids after Christmas. We will tell him- Iím just surprised at how young some kids know.
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Old 06-29-2020, 05:24 PM
  #12

Most kids in my school are fairly privileged and I feel like 3rd/4th grade is the time they get clued in, by 4th grade for sure. Even in second grade there are a few skeptics.

Maybe don't break the news all at work once, though! Start slowly, with the Tooth Fairy. But make sure to get to Santa before the end of summer. You don't want to risk the very real possibility he starts talking about his Santa list to a classmate and ends up the butt of jokes. Middle schoolers can be cruel!
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Old 06-29-2020, 05:57 PM
  #13

We dealt with the exact same issue - our oldest son when if 5th grade still believed in all of that too. DH and I had the same debate. That summer we took him out to eat, alone and told him about it. His response, "well I guess then the tooth fairy's not real either? We told him for the same reason. We did not want him being teased in middle school.

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Tell
Old 06-29-2020, 06:12 PM
  #14

I would tell him. At my school, there are still a few who believe in the upper elementary, but a lot of that has to do with the parents. At our house, we said by the time ours started second grade Santa wouldnít be a thing anymore.
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Old 06-29-2020, 09:16 PM
  #15

Quote:
I'm honestly kind of surprised he hasn't run into issues at school already.
I'm surprised too.

I know this is very likely to be an unpopular stance, but I don't protect Santa in fifth grade. If it comes up, I talk about it as though we all are already aware that he is a fun pretend thing we do.
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Santa
Old 06-29-2020, 09:19 PM
  #16

Our DS never asked and we never said anything. He told his younger sister that he just goes along with kids that say there's no Santa, but he believes. Now, DS is extremely bright and I'm pretty sure he had it all figured out quite early on....but he wanted to believe and went along with the magic.

With DD, somewhere around 4th or 5th grade, she came to us, demanding the truth because she didn't want to look silly around friends who were arguing there was no Santa. We told her the truth at that point and she handled it well.

Even after they knew, and even now, we still try to make Christmas magical! The kids are now 17 and 20, and I wait until they're in bed to put out all of the presents and some are still marked, "from Santa". DH still moves the elf around for DD to find in the morning! It's all in fun and we really enjoy the Christmas season.
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Old 06-30-2020, 10:46 AM
  #17

Interesting- I am really surprised that some of you say your 2nd graders donít believe. I do teach in sort of an unusual place- almost all of our students are much more innocent and truly child like- all the way through 5th grade. DH doesnít want to tell, but l told him Iíd rather talk to DS before Christmas rolls around.

Gromit- I am teaching 5th grade and I cannot imagine the parent fallout If my students heard from me that Santa wasnít real. My adminís phone would be ringing off the hook!
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