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Angelo Angelo is offline
 
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Quit Making Suggestions
Old 10-06-2019, 07:20 PM
 
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So there's this event I've been organizing every October for the past four years or so. I'm omitting the details.

There's one colleague in particular who doesn't like the way I run it, and complains every year. Most of the rest of the staff and parents seem fine with the way I do it. It's a lot of work as it is. This colleague has plenty of ideas to "improve" the event, and a vision of how it should be run. If we did what he's suggesting, it would mean many, many additional hours of work for me. He keeps insisting it wouldn't be that much extra work. For three years, I've offered to hand the event off to him and bow out of it. No problem. It's no great joy to me to do this extra work every year. Every year, he insists he isn't "trying to take it over" from me but rather wants me to consider his ideas.

Listen, pal... you want to make it complicated? You do it! I'll step down. In a heartbeat. Last year, I told him bluntly, "As long as I'm in charge of this event, we're doing it this way. I know how long it will take to plan, and it's always been well received. I don't have time to do what you're suggesting. You're more than welcome to take it on yourself." He (again) insisted that, no, I should continue planning it, but that I shouldn't be so set in my ways and stuck on the idea that, just because it's been done a certain way in the past, that it must always be done that way in the future. I'm not stuck on anything! I'm more than happy to hand it off to someone with new ideas! But whenever I suggest that, it's dead silence in the room. Frankly, I got kind of suckered into it in the first place, which is on me, but at least I know how to do it efficiently now.

So we got a new member of our admin team. When we went through our latest round of "You should..." "No, YOU should..." my colleague went over my head and took it directly to the new admin. He proposed his idea and vision of how the event should be run. The new admin thought it sounded "great" but wasn't given a clear picture of who exactly is in charge.

I told the admin I have no problem handing it off to someone (preferably more than one person this time), but that I'm not changing the event with two weeks left and only me (effectively) to plan it. Admin seemed confused as to the role my colleague plays in "helping" with the event. I said he isn't involved at all beyond offering annual "suggestions" for how it should be done. The admin frowned and said, "then why is he coming to me with proposals?" I said, "Good question."

Then... if you can believe it... the colleague got furious with me for "throwing [him] under the bus" and "making [him] look foolish" with what I said to admin. I said, basically, aren't I the one who should be mad that you went over my head and tried to add to my responsibilities by speaking to our new admin about an event that I plan? He insinuated I was just being lazy about the whole thing and that he had no choice but to go to admin because I never listen to people's suggestions for improving the event. I said, "I've told you 100 times... if YOU want to do it, be my guest! You can be in charge and then plan it however you want! I'll even give you all my notes from the past four years!" He shook his head and said I was missing the point and said, "This is YOUR job. YOU agreed to do it." *facepalm*


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This would be my last year
Old 10-07-2019, 12:49 AM
 
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After this event is done, I would put in writing that it's my last one.

A year is PLENTY of notice.
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Old 10-07-2019, 01:05 AM
 
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I like Dee's suggestion.
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Old 10-07-2019, 04:50 AM
 
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I agree with Dee. It sounds like it is time. Maybe even add a suggestion of who should take it on now.
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Old 10-07-2019, 05:21 AM
 
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What Dee and Kahluablast said! Would serve the guy right.


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Old 10-07-2019, 05:45 AM
 
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I'd certainly turn in a letter stating this is the last year to participate. I'd put my notes in a manila folder and hand those to the principal as well.
You've put in your time, Angelo. Set that butterfly free. It's no longer yours to keep.
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I agree with everyone else...
Old 10-07-2019, 06:13 AM
 
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...I'd put all my notes in a folder and hand it to the admin and let them know I would not be doing this event next year...but I'd also include a wonderful note about how GOOD the other person (the "good idea" person) would be when he takes over this project, and how GREAT his ideas are, and how the event would be SO wonderfully done by him, etc. Then stand back and watch the fun (smile!)

Last edited by TchrFvr; 10-07-2019 at 01:17 PM..
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Quit making suggestions
Old 10-07-2019, 07:12 AM
 
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Yep, your tenure with this event is officially over. Admin can con someone else into doing it.
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Old 10-07-2019, 11:56 AM
 
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After the event notify your “helpful coworker” that this event is now HIS JOB! Plop the info you’ve gathered over the years on his desk and let him know he can implement all if his wonderful ideas. It’s a piece of cake so he should have fun.
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Old 10-07-2019, 12:12 PM
 
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A version of this exact fight was the reason I had to leave my last school. Be careful with this guy. My person went batsh!t crazy and made up a bunch of lies because she felt so slighted. Then, when I decided I didn't want that particular responsibility anymore because of all of the ridiculous drama it caused, my P thought I was stepping down out of spite. It was a mess.


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Old 10-07-2019, 05:16 PM
 
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Sounds like your colleague is projecting. I agree with the other posters who said this year is your swan song as far as this event is concerned.

Sit on your hands and don’t make eye contact when the question arises as to who will be organizing next year’s event.
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Old 10-07-2019, 05:23 PM
 
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I would definitely make this your last year to run this event. As suggested, turn over the materials/notes to admin and suggest they get the opinionated colleague to take over. And then smile at him when you see him stressing over it. 😁
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Crazy co-worker
Old 10-07-2019, 06:04 PM
 
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Your colleague wants control but no responsibility. I'm sorry you are dealing with someone who is NOT entirely rational.
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