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Parent who dislikes you?!
Old 10-01-2019, 06:19 PM
 
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I have a parent this year who dislikes me for NO reason. We've been in school, what - 5 or 6 weeks? She refuses to come to my class area for dismissal, is constantly giving me dirty looks (which coworkers took notice of last week). Admin says she's a negative person overall and has been - but um..okay. So I'm your child's teacher. I wrote positive, personalized emails to all parents last week - she obviously didnt' respond. Had to reach out to them again regarding support in the class and asked for confirmation of receiving the email.. nothing. So wtf do you guys do with the disrespect? It is so hard to separate it out honestly - when I look at her kid, I see the parents who have been nothing but rude with their glares. I tried to kill it with kindness the first few weeks when I was genuinely confused with why I was met with glares, no smiles, nothing. How do you not take it personal? Everyday at dismissal, MY day is being ruined and I hate that. People (let alone parents like this) shouldn't have power over me this way. Just venting because I'm seriously over it and I don't know how to be any more kind because I've tried and I don't need this all year. WTF!!! How are people so unhappy in life. FOR NO EFFING REASON. (no reason to be rude to me, I mean)


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Old 10-02-2019, 02:01 AM
 
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I'm sorry that the parent is so negative. Truthfully though, you have to figure that it's not about you and not take it personally. You've done everything you should and if the parents don't like you for absolutely no reason....then you just shrug and figure it's on them. One of those where you just figure you can't control their behavior and just do you.
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Old 10-02-2019, 02:44 AM
 
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There is a reason...
The parent sees you as a representative of the school, not an individual. It is not different than people who distrust everyone in a profession for the actions of others. Presently, we have this issue with police men/women. Many are hated because of actions of others or what people heard about others.

Keep doing kind things. You won't make everyone like you. BTW, in a way, you are interacting differently with the student for nothing he did to you. There is no way you can feel emotional pain because of a transgression of the parent and not be different toward him. Your reaction to him is probably similar in emotion as that of the parent. Incidents in the parent's life is influencing her thought process when it comes to you.

A different reason might be she has an illness which impacts her ability to rationally deal with others. For all you know she may suffer from mental illness that impacts the way she views others who take her child away from her for the day.

I hope you figure out how to separate how you react to situations from the situations themselves. You can't make everyone happy. Sometimes you just have to let it go. I hope you can learn how to do so for your sake and the sake of her child.
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Parent hates me
Old 10-02-2019, 08:01 AM
 
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It happens all the time. You may never know why and parent may not have a valid reason. Or it has nothing to do with you.

Be pleasant, respectful, and professional. And just remember, we canít please 100% of the people 100% of the time.
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I don't take it personally.
Old 10-02-2019, 10:38 AM
 
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For all the reasons msd2 put forth, and then some. Just like I tell my kids, sometimes people aren't going to like you, and it won't be any fault of yours.

You must separate the parent's behavior from the child, though. It's incredibly unfair to the child to you to hold something against them they have absolutely no control over. Besides, if this parent is that miserable, can you imagine what that child's life it like?

Be the adult, let it go, and don't let it color your view of the child.


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sometimes people are just like that
Old 10-02-2019, 02:40 PM
 
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I have a good friend who can just be that way for no direct reason. She's not happy about where her DD is living, so that can translate into not being happy with the school her DGD is attending. She is a very black-and-white thinker and doesn't cope well overall. I could see her acting that way and it would have absolutely nothing to do with the teacher. I'm glad that you recognize that she is taking up space in your head. Try to turn away when she makes you uncomfortable and just do for her what you do for everyone else. If nothing else, you know that you are doing the best for her child.
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Smile
Old 10-02-2019, 03:54 PM
 
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I would smile, wave, and act like her new best friend! I would track her down each chance I had and Iíd call her on a regular basis.
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Old 10-02-2019, 07:40 PM
 
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Loveslabs, that’s exactly what I would do, and in fact, have done. I see it as a challenge.

You can be nice a lot longer than she can be mean. She might think you’re crazy, but you’re making it real hard for her to keep being a you-know-what toward you.
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Just like yourself
Old 10-03-2019, 03:41 PM
 
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Lots of people do not like me. I have been shunned by people who were friends for no good reason.

I have had plenty of parents who did not like me and went out of their way to complain to my boss, etc.

So my solution... i decided to approve of and like myself. I cultivate self acceptance and confidence. Seriously it is her problem. Try to let it go.

And i agree with going out of your way to act like you do like her.

Last edited by happygal; 10-03-2019 at 04:39 PM..
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Sweat
Old 10-04-2019, 02:24 PM
 
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Never let her or her daughter see you sweat. Kill the parent with kindness. Have you spoken with the childís previous teacher? Maybe he/she can give you some insight about the mom?


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Old 10-04-2019, 03:41 PM
 
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Iím tired of the ďcustomer is always rightĒ mentality, seriously worst part of the job. Anyway yeah the last teacher decided to show up to one of the moms Mary Kay parties 🙄 in hopes of the mom at least acknowledging her. Sorry but Iím not a suck up and I donít care that much. If she wants to be this way - itís cool. I decided Iíll have admin present at conferences because I want as little to do with this parent as possible. I provide lots of supper for parents at home esp for math, so I reminded the kids that they can remind parents to look online - and this kid replies that her mom said she hates homework, and she wonít help because thatís your teachers job. If you donít understand, thatís her problem. 🥴 so yeah I do a lot for the kid because I feel bad for her, itís just a frustrating spot. I treat all my kids equal, regardless of parents FYI.
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Life is too short
Old 10-06-2019, 08:48 AM
 
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Don't sweat the small stuff and it's all small stuff motto. Be fair and nice to all of your kids like always. Take care of yourself. Some people just are not easy to get along with and are negative. Don't let them get you down. Go shopping. Buy some new shoes or clothes. Enjoy a nice walk.
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