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Feeling low
Old 03-04-2018, 06:15 PM
  #1

I just feel like I can't get it all done anymore. I'm 58 this year and it takes all my energy to make sure my classroom runs smoothly. By the time I get home I don't have the energy to do anything. My husband doesn't work now and does the dishes and washes some clothes, but that's it. The house is a wreck. Things are piling up and he doesn't see the mess. He says he just doesn't know where to put things. I feel like screaming sometimes and I'm getting depressed because I can't get it done. I asked him if I made a list of things that needed to get done would he take offense to it and he said maybe, which means he would resent it. I had a housekeeper who came in once a week for about 4 months and he ruined that for us. He made the housekeeper think she might not be safe in our home because of a certain neighbor, which is hogwash of course. I think I need a tropical island with sandy beaches to relax on without my husband.


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Old 03-04-2018, 06:22 PM
  #2

Your post makes me more firm in my belief that my dh will NOT be allowed to retire before I can. He has no idea all the things that go into keeping a house and family running. Partially my fault for doing it all while I stayed at home with our kids. Partially because his mother did not let his brothers or him do anything around the house when they grew up. But I know that I will be very resentful if he retires and yet I still do all the work.

I think a long talk, a checklist of things to do, including some numbers to call to arrange another house cleaner, are in order. Or else. I won't be able to take it.
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I am sorry you are feeling low
Old 03-04-2018, 06:52 PM
  #3

Some time to yourself might be a good idea. You need some quality rest and relaxation in my opinion.

I felt much as you describe at your age. My plan was to teach till I was 64 but then I decided I just could not keep up the pace anymore. I retired in June of 2016 after turning 60 at the end of May. Maybe early retirement is a possibility for you as well.

Changing your husband may be impossible. It seems they become less adaptable as they age. JMO

I wish you luck and am sending you a hug.
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I hear you
Old 03-04-2018, 07:49 PM
  #4

Resentful, lazy husbands are the worst. My DH has an over inflated opinion of himself and how much he does around the house (minimal IMO). To top it off he needs to be thanked for every little thing he does.

Can I join you on that tropical island?

No words of advice but I do understand
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Very sorry...
Old 03-05-2018, 04:08 AM
  #5

Your post makes me glad I'm single. Seriously, I would explore the housekeeper thing again. I am considering it when I retire if I can afford it. I definitely hear you about not getting things done. It's just me, and I feel like my house is out of control. I too had wanted to work longer, till age 66, but the demands of the job and the time and stress it is taking and causing, had me decide to retire this June instead. I just am not enjoying the job anymore, and with everything the job is demanding these days, I resent having to put all those hours in. If you could find time to do what you enjoy after school, even one or two times a week, you might feel a bit better. I would also look at when you can retire. Even if it is not this year, or even next, planning for it and knowing it is on the horizon is a game-changer.


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Old 03-05-2018, 05:56 AM
  #6

Quote:
To top it off he needs to be thanked for every little thing he does.
. OMG! What is this? My dh did a load of laundry yesterday. He actually does laundry almost every time we go to our vacation place, which is often. But he wears a lot of clothes up there and sweats. If it doesn't get washed then, next time he needs it, he is out of luck. He told me 3 times he did the laundry. I had 1 shirt, 1 pair of socks, and 1 pair of undies. I finally told him I had done his laundry before coming up. 2 loads. Just to shut him up.

He says, "I took the recycling down." My thought "It wasn't even close to full." I am in a bad place.
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Old 03-05-2018, 04:50 PM
  #7

I agree with 1956BD. Men get less adaptable as they age. My DH is becoming a grumpy old man.

He hears criticism in everything and if he isnít praised for every effort he sulks.

Iím in a bad place too

I keep trying to remind myself of his endearing, positive qualities so I donít bite his head off
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Old 03-05-2018, 05:00 PM
  #8

I know I make my husband d out to be a bad guy sometimes, but the truth is he does all of the housework and all I do is work and relax when I am at home. I am no help to him.
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