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Date #2 update
Old 09-10-2020, 10:45 AM
  #1

So I will keep my dating escapades limited, but I thought y'all would like to here about the second date with the guy I met last week.

It was terrible!!! I've never been so uncomfortable!!

It started with me driving an hour to his house instead of meeting in the middle because he wanted to cook me dinner. He has been raving about how good a cook he was so I said sure. Icame home from work and changed then drove there in whiteout rain- it was terrible. Once I got there, i noticed he had like 0 furniture and he was in a t-shirt and gym shorts, socks and no shoes.. No problem for a bachelor pad, except he is 39 and its a 3 bedroom house. I don't mind wearing clothes like that either, but I would think someone would try and look nice for a date?? No kitchen table- we at on dinner trays. We were having good conversation when he stood up to check on the meal and he chose to kiss me. I was taken aback and could tell that it was not a chemistry match. the dinner he made was pretty good and I was sure to tell him.

Then we went next door to his 85 year old neighbor who he looks in on. we made sure he had dinner and was doing ok. As we were leaving the neighbor's house, Guy touched the small of my back to guide me out of the house. Again, I was taken aback by the physical touch after not knowing me all that well. Guy then came and sat on the couch near me and asked to hold my hand. I was shocked and a little confused as we were just chatting. So I did. That's when he made the comment about how soft my skin was and I started to get the creepy guy vibes. I left about 20 minutes later because of the hour drive.

As we were walking to the front door, he made the comment about his cat being skinny and how he doesn't like his women or animals skinny. Now, I am not a large girl nor am I a skinny girl, but I was kind of offended. I walked out the door in front of him and on his porch, he wrap his arms around me from behind and tried to kiss my neck...... NO SIR. I said good night and quickly deleted his number. I also jumped in the shower as soon as I could when I got home and took the hottest one I could take.

Y'all... I'm not making this up. This is a true story.
You're welcome for the laugh and the craziness! He had such good potential "on paper" but not in reality.

ughhh... off to try again.


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Adventures in dating
Old 09-10-2020, 10:51 AM
  #2

Ewww! It sounds like he was trying to show you what a caring and wonderful husband he would make (checking on neighbor, cooking for you), and then he tried to accelerate the situation.

I have a feeling he isn't going to give up too easily. Bummer, he sounded like he had potential after your initial date! Maybe he's just really bad at social cues? In any case, I don't blame you for deleting the number and not wanting to continue any contact.

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I also jumped in the shower as soon as I could when I got home and took the hottest one I could take.
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Sorry
Old 09-10-2020, 10:51 AM
  #3

It did not work out. Has he tried to contact you since?
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Old 09-10-2020, 11:21 AM
  #4

Ewwww! Thanks for the narrative. Iím sympathetic but also laughing. It really does sound like a bad sitcom date.
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Old 09-10-2020, 11:29 AM
  #5

Ummmmm! Yeah, he'd be blocked from my phone!

First of all he didn't even care enough to out a decent outfit on. His cooking skills can only carry him so far!

Just an FYI....I would not meet at a guy's place or have him to my place until the relationship was pretty solid. I know many will not agree, but public dates would be part of my protocol for at least the first month, or more depending on how often you're seeing each other. Weeds out those who want to get too touchy feely too fast!

Sorry it didn't work out. Don't let him deter you though. There's a good man out there for you!


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Not to be an alarmist, and also not that I
Old 09-10-2020, 11:32 AM
  #6

have not done similar things, but there are so many ways that could have gone badly.

Did you ask why the lack of furniture? Also, I hope you did this and if not, will do so in the future: Did you tell anyone WHERE you were going, give that person the exact address, and ask that person to call and check up on you at a certain time? If you fail to answer, that person calls the police and gives the address.

When I did the online dating thing, I would also take photos of the guy's license plate and driver's license and send them to a trusted friend. Sounds crazy, but otherwise, what guarantees does a woman have that she will ever be seen again?

Hoping you already know to do all of these things. I am thankful that the worst thing that happened was that you got creeped out. Stay safe!
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Old 09-10-2020, 12:01 PM
  #7

Thanks for your concern!
I sent a picture of me as I was dressed for the outfit and the address to a good friend. I also let like 5 people know.

I had been talking to him for 2 weeks so I had known him a little bit more.

I also called a friend on the way home.
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Way too soon
Old 09-10-2020, 12:30 PM
  #8

Yes the guy's a creep.
It was only a 2nd date. Please be careful.
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Old 09-10-2020, 12:53 PM
  #9

What a creep! I'm glad you deleted his number. I am happy to hear you are safe
and that you left early on. Don't give up, you will find a prince after kissing a lot of toads.
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Old 09-10-2020, 01:20 PM
  #10

I can certainly see why you have written him off! That sounds creepy to me too!

Nancy


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Old 09-10-2020, 01:29 PM
  #11

I would even suggest 1st dates be at a coffee shop/deli not a bar. Maybe I've watched to many cop shows with date rape plots.


Agree never at his house or other private place, boat, cabin, 4 wheeling etc. for early on dates.
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Old 09-10-2020, 01:39 PM
  #12

Sorry it didnít work out.

I was single and have had way too many dates to count. It sounds like dating hasnít improved in the past 10 years. I never could understand why men felt they could move in so fast. I would always use my car door to block them when they moved in for a kiss.

It says a lot if they arenít willing to meet part way for a few dates.
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Old 09-10-2020, 03:18 PM
  #13

Well, at least you found out after only 2 dates! Good practice for the next date!

I agree with the others. Be safe.

And feel free to keep sharing your future dating stories.
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Old 09-10-2020, 03:25 PM
  #14

Eww. The whole thing speaks of being overly familiar. Sounds like a date you might have with someone you were in a long time relationship with.

The sad thing is, he'll probably be confused thinking he was being such good "boyfriend" material and not even realize he totally skipped several phases. Creepy.
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Old 09-10-2020, 03:49 PM
  #15

Yes, creepy!

And please don't go to someone's house that early in a relationship again. Too unsafe!
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Old 09-10-2020, 04:08 PM
  #16

omg....that show about matchmakers hired to find a match sounds like a good plan after hearing about this date. This situation could have ended badly for you! I had a friend years ago that was gravely injured by a similar dating setup. Be more careful (and feel free to call me a mother hen)
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Old 09-10-2020, 05:36 PM
  #17

Iím glad that you found out that he was not for you. Wishing you luck as you continue on dating adventures.
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Old 09-10-2020, 06:43 PM
  #18

I am not trying to alarm you but you put yourself in danger by going to his house. Even though you had talked with him over a period of a couple of weeks, it was only the second date. Just looking out for your safety. If the guy is genuine, then he wonít mind meeting in public for a while. Wishing you well in your dating endeavors.
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Second Date
Old 09-11-2020, 03:22 AM
  #19

He sounds weird. Not having furniture, making inappropriate comments, and wearing a tee shirt and gym shorts are red flags.

In the future you may not want to go to a guy's house for a date after knowing him a short period of time. All kinds of things could happen, and you could end up in an unsafe situation.

I hope you have better luck in the future.

Last edited by travelingfar; 09-11-2020 at 07:25 AM..
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Um no
Old 09-12-2020, 07:41 AM
  #20

So, when I started dating after my divorce (11 years ago) I was really SHOCKED at how many grown ass men think you're going to put out on the first or second date. I bet your creeper was the same way.

My current husband didn't come to my house until like 3 months of dating, and he was fine with it. I would.recommend you stay in public for a while. Lots of creepers out there.
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