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Can you control your emotions?
Old 02-17-2020, 07:51 AM
  #1

How good are you at controlling your emotions? My DS 18 is leaving for Navy boot camp tomorrow, and I just know I will be an emotional wreck. I would love to be able to hold it together in front of him, but I doubt it. Any tips?


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Old 02-17-2020, 08:14 AM
  #2

You hold it together for him. After you part you can cry like a baby, but donít do it in front of him. I bit my lip until it bled when we dropped my dd off in another state. It makes it harder on them if they see you crying. Are you planning on going to his graduation from boot camp? Try focusing on that. It isnít that far away.
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Old 02-17-2020, 08:26 AM
  #3

I'm terrible at it. Truly terrible. The only thing that helps me is to remove myself from the situation in my mind and think about something else. But that keeps me from savoring moments.

I'm sure it will be hard because you care about him so much! No advice, but sending hugs!
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Pepteach,
Old 02-17-2020, 08:58 AM
  #4

thank you for the hugs! I will need them! Kahluablast, yes, we are going to graduation in April. We are fortunate that he will be going reserves, so we will have him home after four months. I'm trying to focus on that!
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Old 02-17-2020, 09:03 AM
  #5

Well, maybe Iím missing something, but I think that quite often itís lovely for our kids to see our genuine emotions. Are you embarrassed to be sad your son is leaving home? I cried dropping my kids for the 1st day of kindergarten and I cried when we first left them at college. I honestly believe it was fine for them to see me sad because it was just another expression of my love for them. Am I not understanding?


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Old 02-17-2020, 09:04 AM
  #6

I had a similar goodbye with one of my children and somehow managed to only think about the reunion when my child came home a year later. Holding the tears was tough but I did it to make it easier on my child,who wanted to attend school overseas. I concentrated on what she wanted and did not cry because the goodbye was for her . I cried like a baby on the way home from the goodbye a the airport. Good luck to both you and your son.
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Old 02-17-2020, 09:05 AM
  #7

When i moved away from home, my parents acted like they didnt care. It hurt my feelings so bad. I wish they would have at least teared up when they dropped me off and took the moving van. I think crying would be ok. Its ok to let him know you will miss him.
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emotions
Old 02-17-2020, 09:28 AM
  #8

I think you are okay. He'll be nervous, excited!!! I like to do something fun like making a small snack bag for the plane. A few things he'd enjoy. Not to much 'cause he'll have to toss it once he hits the boot camp bus. It's okay to tear up, but don't make a scene. (((HUGS)))
Think of breathing in through your nose count 4 out through your mouth... don't forget the tissues. Who will be with you?
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Old 02-17-2020, 10:02 AM
  #9

I love the idea of a snack bag! It will be my DH, my brother, DS's girlfriend, and maybe an aunt or uncle or two. I will definitely bring the tissues! Amiga, I definitely think it's fine to show emotions to our children, but I was concerned that it would make my DS feel bad about leaving. When my DH left for boot camp 30 years ago I was a mess! I'm hoping I can do better this time!
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Old 02-17-2020, 01:39 PM
  #10

Iím not a super emotional person... PPCDteacher kinda had the same experience as me. My parents acted like they didnít care, but we arenít really a family that shows much emotion. I only cry when I get frustrated.

Good luck to you and your family <3


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Old 02-17-2020, 02:49 PM
  #11

I agree with amiga13's post about showing some emotion. I think it is important however I just did not want to lose all control and bawl like a baby in front of my dd. She is sensitive and may not have gone on to the wonderful adventure that she had. I had tears that day she left and I'm sure my lip was quivering but I controlled it.
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I am not
Old 02-17-2020, 03:40 PM
  #12

good at holding back. After my son moved out, I cried every time he was leaving after a visit. I'm better now, but I hug him really, really tight. He knows how I feel.

When we were relocating due my dh's retirement from the military, I came ahead of him to start the school year. We had spent only about 2 weeks apart, and I went home for the Labor Day weekend. I had to leave that Monday to come back here (I was staying with my MIL). I cried a really big, ugly cry. I think I knew even then that my new school (at that time) was not a good fit. That was the last time I was in my house when we lived there. It is still an ugly memory.

I hope things go well when he leaves. Hang in there!!
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Old 02-17-2020, 04:34 PM
  #13

I agree that its OK to show some emotion because it reaffirms your love for him. I know it will be hard though. I am usually OK around others, but I fall apart when I am alone.

Good wishes, prayers and thoughts go with you and your family tomorrow as you bid him "so long", Keep your heart and mind set on that April graduation!

Nancy
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Old 02-17-2020, 05:41 PM
  #14

I have done this twice, and it is hard but you can do it. We moms are amazing and will do whatever is necessary for our kids, so you will be able to hold it together (mostly- a few tears/teary eyes) until he is out of your sight. Then you will feel free to just let it all come out. I may have cried for miles down the road after we dropped off each of the boys. Praying for you and for your DS tomorrow!
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When my son went
Old 02-17-2020, 06:14 PM
  #15

To college 5 years ago 10 hours away, I thought Iíd be a wreck. But I knew he was getting his education, getting to play college basketball and that heíd be back someday.

Iím happy to report heíll graduate with his teaching degree in May debt free and be back home.

I kept all of those things in mind and was able to keep it together.

You can do this!
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Old 02-17-2020, 06:52 PM
  #16

My ds was in the Air Force. I did not cry in front of him the week before he left. I held it together when we left him and only shed a few tears. I cried in the car the whole two hour ride home. I cried when I told someone he was in boot camp. I cried for four weeks whenever I passed his empty room. Dh finally told me to get it together and ds is doing what he wants to do in life. It worked. It’s not easy, but you can hold it together for him and cry later. Just think it’s what he wants and is happy. Younger ds went to college and I cried the whole ride home too. Thank you for his service. Hang in there.
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Thank you!
Old 02-17-2020, 09:42 PM
  #17

Thank you so much, everyone, for your experiences and good wishes and prayers! It will be hard, but I can do this!
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No crying
Old 02-18-2020, 03:55 PM
  #18

I donít know if I could do it. And this a very real possibility for both of my sons in the near future. My oldest is 17 and talking about Air Force ROTC. My son has seen me cry plenty. But when I want to hold it back I canít make direct eye contact or I will lose it.

Money cards, laundry coins, a card of encouragement and family pictures are all good to take along to basic training that wonít be confiscated. I am an Army wife who was there for basic, AIT and all the deployments. Lots of prayers and any little bit of news and communication gets you through.
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