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Embarassing, but how do you get yourself in the mood?

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Embarassing, but how do you get yourself in the mood?
Old 06-01-2012, 01:16 PM
 
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As the title suggests, this is embarrassing to say the least, but I suspect every adult relationship endures this at some point. Probably at many points, so here goes. How do you get yourself in the mood for the sake of your partner when you're just not in mood? And how do you do it so that you really put some effort into it, instead of just going through the motions?

I'll tell you right now my wife is almost never in the mood to do it. It's a struggle and it always has been since just past our first wedding anniversary, which was something around 20 years ago, give or take. And that's what ticks me off. She's become the stereotype of someone putting out the effort to rock my world until the wedding ring. I would say I feel used, but in all honestly I realize I share the same problem. I really don't want to do it either. I don't. I just don't. I don't care how that makes me look either. I'm tired and I'm bored by it. Is that even an acceptable excuse?

So how do you or your loved ones push through this? And please, don't suggest books. I don't like books on the subject. It's always about a new routine to learn or that God-awful term - putting love into it. And yes, I've done the therapist thing in the past, but I won't see one for this. How in the hell do you motivate yourself to cook dinner? There's only so many ways I can cook chicken and I don't feel like my efforts are even appreciated. And my son doesn't help the issue. He's one of those weird people who gets grossed out by the thought of chicken on the bone. Nevermind that the bone isn't a problem if the chicken is fried by KFC. Boneless chicken is expensive. I give up. All I ever really want is pizza anyway.


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Old 06-01-2012, 01:20 PM
 
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!!!!

I had an idea this wasn't going where it sounded like it, and I tried hard not to look at your last few lines to see where you went with it!
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Old 06-01-2012, 01:35 PM
 
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OMG! Me, too!

I love cooking....

I HATE cooking dinner!

I love cooking when I can make one gourmet appetizer or a dessert... or even when I can spend all day on Saturday cooking a fancy meal.

I hate cooking at 5:00 when everyone's starving and tired.
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Old 06-01-2012, 02:05 PM
 
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I just give up and order pizza.
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You.
Old 06-01-2012, 02:43 PM
 
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Hifiman,

I think you have gotten to the point where we all know you too well. We read a post like that with a suggestive title, read the text that seems to be pointing us one way, but because it is you, we know we are waiting for the punchline. Not that posts like this don't bring laughs; they do! But the moment I began reading, I knew it wasn't going to be all that meets the eye, and I expect others are the same. I suppose you've been spoiled by your success!


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haha
Old 06-01-2012, 02:45 PM
 
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The whole time I'm reading I'm thinking to myself....what could he be talking about..what could he be talking about...what could he be talking about...
I KNEW it wasn't about what the title suggested!

To answer your question.. I love pizza so that's my choice!
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I know people know
Old 06-01-2012, 02:47 PM
 
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But I still try to entertain. I get a kick out of it at least.
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Old 06-01-2012, 03:20 PM
 
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I get all hot when DH looks me in the eye, grabs me close to him and says"Italian or Mexican?" As for me putting in the effort, I do put on a bra when we go out to eat. It's all about respect for your partner.
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entertain
Old 06-01-2012, 03:34 PM
 
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Hifi, you certainly entertain us. That was another of those classic Hifiman stories. You have a real gift.
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Getting in the mood
Old 06-01-2012, 03:50 PM
 
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Have you tried magazines or television shows? I'm just saying, some of those glossy pictures showing the juicy, decadent, and hot dishes can get my desire to cook going! Watching the Food network chefs racing around, sweating, steaming, and dicing up veggies and various meats also get my creative juices flowing! Maybe you could look up the Naked Chef on-line to gain inspiration!


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LOL Hifi
Old 06-01-2012, 04:24 PM
 
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I was wondering if it was going in the direction I thought - I was right this time only because I am never in the mood either.

At this point in our marriage, my dh has given up. He doesn't cook very well at all - it's barely edible, so if I don't want to, we go out.

I need to "get in the mood" because it's getting expensive!
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I'm with the others
Old 06-01-2012, 05:25 PM
 
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I saw who started the post and thought surely there is a pun and this is about something else. I never expected it to be about cooking dinner though! I so hear ya. We order out way too much, usually pizza and its killing my budget. Gotta start cooking at home more. You're right, only so many ways to make chicken and who has the time anyway? I think that's why some of us really get into recipes. At least if we buy a cookbook or download a recipe now and then, we feel like we've done something, even if we never try the recipe. Such a timely subject.
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