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It all gets better after menopause, right?
Old 09-23-2012, 03:05 PM
 
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I'm looking for any excuse to keep from lesson planning right now. Is there any better way to start a Monday than walking in that classroom door and rush around as you try to figure out what the hell to do for the day? In any case, I have girls on my mind. No, not like you might think.

I started out teaching elementary. Second grade, actually. At that time it seemed like girls were just so much easier. All the issues in class were result of anyone with a Y chromosome. It's quite obvious to me that the Y chromosome is the result of taking an X chromosome and removing all the genetic material related to brain development, which leaves a pretty pathetic Y with which to make a semi-functional male. It wasn't until I taught 5th grade the next year that I changed my perceptions of girls.

By the end of 5th grade I learned that girls were far more devious. I didn't know that because they were experts at covert operations. Honestly, to this day I have no idea why the CIA isn't run solely by females. I would think they'd be naturals. Obviously the Y chromosome isn't the result of taking something away. It's quite the opposite. The X chromosome is the result of adding extra genetic material for this devious behavior. Drama, really.

In middle school, girls were single-handedly responsible for 60 percent of my hearing loss. The other 40 percent was from that damn Dire Straits song about needing MTV that my friends and I played nonstop in my car stereo for years on end at maximum volume. But I digress. Girls in middle school shriek for everything. I had be out in the enclosed hallway each passing period, day after day, while I witnessed girl after girl scream at the top of her lungs at the sight of a friend not seen since first period. Yes, life can be cruel to keep such good friends so far apart for so long. But it wasn't just the offense of shrieking that made girls so difficult. It was the endless drama, though the word drama seems like such overkill. I hear drama and I think something serious. Something life-altering. Drama for girls seems to involve such minutiae that no man can possibly understand, so I'll save you my futile attempt to explain any of it I ever saw in any classroom. But I can tell you this, I was looking forward to high school. Girls are so much older that surely the drama is a distant memory.

My first high school gig was summer school this last summer. Every so often there was a girl or two in tears in the office as I walked by. I don't know what was going on, nor did I care, but I did hear the familiar snippets of that unexplainable girl drama. The principal was a guy too. I could tell he was baffled by the drama as well. All I could do was pass him in the hall and give him that look that all men understand without words. The look simply says, "Them girls be crazy," though in some circles the word "girls" is replaced with something far more colorful.

Now I've spent a few months in my own high school classroom. Just long enough to tell you firsthand that the girl drama I witnessed this last summer was not an anomaly. Girl drama seems to thrive on a high school campus. I still won't explain it to you, not because I won't, but because I can't.

On Saturday my wife and I walked with my son around his college campus. As we were walking back towards our car we could hear that familiar shrieking off in the distanced, obscured by the tree line. As we walked through the trees we saw a great herd of college girls with sleeping...stuff tucked under their arms. It looked like they were gathering to head out to some sort of sleepover. Amongst them were many adults who had obviously done something horribly wrong and were there by court order to fulfill some sort of community service requirement by chaperoning these girls. I briefly looked at the great herd running around excitedly in every direction as they called to each other with ear piercing shrieks (were these shrieks a call of friendship, or a challenge to be the pack leader of the herd? I have no idea. I didn't wait around long enough to find out).

As we made it to our car I thought to myself how it didn't seem to matter what I taught. Elementary, middle, or high school, the kids are all essentially the same. They just get bigger, shriek even louder, and the ones with the Y chromosomes just use more Axe.

When does all this stop? Menopause, right? Tell me this all ends by menopause. Please.


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I have 3 sons
Old 09-23-2012, 03:09 PM
 
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and always wanted a daughter...until I started teaching and realized that God knew what He was doing when he gave me boys. I'm a boy mom - I don't shop, I don't dress up, I don't do makeup, and all that shrieking drives me bananas!

We don't shriek as much when we get closer to menopause - we replace that behavior with consuming wine....
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Old 09-23-2012, 04:27 PM
 
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That is why I thank God every day that my DD is not a shrieking kind of girl! It annoys her as much as the rest of the adult population!
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Old 09-23-2012, 04:57 PM
 
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OMG....OMG....OMG!!!!! Eeeeeeeee! What? Girls have too many drama issues? No, you're joking..... how could you be so cruel? Sob Why? WHY??? It will never end!!
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Old 09-23-2012, 06:31 PM
 
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catgirl79:


I am currently in the shrieking girl phase with my DD (13 y/o) Luckily, she's a mostly even keeled kiddo until she get together with her cousin (they are 9 months apart), then the shrieking girls come out


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Old 09-23-2012, 07:13 PM
 
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This is why I volunteer (or beg) to teach all boy classes at middle school. Sure, the boys fart a lot, and they don't smell great even when they aren't farting or spraying themselves with Axe. They kick and wrestle and do annoying boy things. And, of course, in middle school there are the reminders for the boys to keep their hands on the desks and not . . . well . . . you know.

This year I have mixed groups . . . and shrieking girls. And tears. And eye rolling. Maybe I'm doing some of the eye rolling. I've already been to the guidance office to tell the counselor that I'm pretty sure puberty and menopause cannot co-exist in the same space.

I can tell you that I was never a shrieking, melodramatic female at any age, but at 42 I can still roll eyes and huff with the best of them. I'll get back with you after menopause and let you know how it goes.
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shriekers
Old 09-23-2012, 09:41 PM
 
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I have TWO shriekers. The older one taught the younger one to shriek, and she'll shriek just for the pure enjoyment of shrieking. She now shrieks on command. My not-so-DH will say "scream Anne" and she will. Then he'll say "louder" and this annoying "game" will continue until my ears are bleeding and I have to leave the room. They think it's fun to torture me.


My DD19 has mostly stopped shrieking, she now prefers evil smirks. It's DD14 who has taken the shriek to new heights.

Anyway, your post had me ROFLMAO because, I truly understand the shriekers.

Tulips


Hmmm...I was just thinking, I recently ran into someone I hadn't seen in a few years, I think we both shrieked
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GiantSubs...
Old 09-24-2012, 05:07 AM
 
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I have two sons ... And KNOW that
Quote:
God knew what He was doing when he gave me boys. I'm a boy mom - I don't shop, I don't dress up, I don't do makeup, and all that shrieking drives me bananas
!

I felt like I "knew" when I was pregnant that I was having boys (I have twins). We knew they were the same sex, but asked not to be told WHICH sex (if they were both the same)... You can see (and hear!!!) the relief in the "birth" video when our first came out and they told me it was a boy!!! Haha!

...the reason I won't ever have another, besides that no one can guarantee me that I'll have just ONE... But because I am deathly afraid of the shrieking!!! Haha!
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