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melonjar melonjar is offline
 
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Student's mom died
Old 10-10-2013, 05:51 PM
 
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Hi. The mother of one of my students died this week in a car accident. I feel so incredibly sad for my student. I am trying to decide what to do when I see him next week after the funeral and everything. What to say? Should I get him a small sympathy gift, like a stuffed animal and card? Should I send the family money?

Thanks.


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Student's mom
Old 10-10-2013, 06:02 PM
 
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How very sad! I had a first grade student loose her dad the week before school started one year. Mostly, she needed hugs and a listening ear. Some days she just needed to talk about her daddy. I did send money to the family because it was requested in lieu of flowers.
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Old 10-10-2013, 06:05 PM
 
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A small token gift would be nice. That child needs to know there are still many people who love him so that he can feel safe.

I would not send money individually, but maybe you could arrange something with the whole staff (whoever chooses to participate). Donations of money and/or meals for the family would be a nice gesture. We have done things like that as a PTA.
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Sympathy
Old 10-10-2013, 06:15 PM
 
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I am so very sorry for your student's loss. For years, I taught at a close-knit school and some of us staff would attend the viewing and funeral (if outside of school hours.) I think a card and words of sympathy are most appropriate. For needy families, we would send money, but as a collective staff -- not individually. I have found families always appreciated our presence most of all.
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Sorry for your loss
Old 10-10-2013, 06:49 PM
 
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That is is so sad. I would give the family a card and maybe money. Last year I had a student who lost his sister to a heart defect. His sister was a former student and just a few years older than him so it affected our whole school. Our school really did come together but he needed lots of TLC after the funeral. He journaled a lot about his sister. Just be there for your student.


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Old 10-10-2013, 08:10 PM
 
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I like the idea of a card and a stuff animal. Something super soft and cuddly.
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Old 10-10-2013, 09:00 PM
 
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I went to the funeral when a student's father died. If it is possible that is what I would do.
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Old 10-11-2013, 03:11 AM
 
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When this happened at our school one of the teachers brought a small stuffed animal to the viewing and gave it to the student along with a hug. It was very much appreciated and the student clutched it the whole evening. Not sure how old this child is but in the situation I'm talking about the child was 8.
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Old 10-11-2013, 08:09 AM
 
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Many police officers carry around teddy bears to give to children who have been involved in a trauma. I know if I were young (and even now) having something to cuddle with after a loved one dies would mean a lot.

I'd also donate money but have it be collective. We had a student who's mother died a few years ago and staff collected money as a whole to donate to him and his family.
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Old 10-11-2013, 02:37 PM
 
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I had a student whose father passed away many years ago, also in a car accident. We gave snacks, meals,etc. And I did send the boy a toy fire truck( this was preschool) I think a gift for the student is appropriate.


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Attend funeral, if possible
Old 10-13-2013, 05:17 PM
 
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First of all, I am sorry to hear about the loss of a parent of one of your students. It is very difficult at any age. If able, try to attend the funeral, if not, a visit to the funeral home would be a thoughtful decision. Also, a small gift would surely be welcome in most cases. I also have the children sign a group card to mail the family.
Peace,
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Many good ideas...
Old 10-14-2013, 03:23 PM
 
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I would add that the simplest things are often overlooked. You can be the normality for this child and allow him to be himself. Even children grieve in their own very personal ways... To some extent, let him take the lead unless you see major troubling behavior the wasn't their before. About a year ago I lost a brother very unexpectedly to suicide. I value most the people who didn't try to "help" me but made it clear they were standing by me, allowing me to find my way but ready to catch me if I stumbled. I trusted them. He will trust you. Just love him and be his teacher and one of his best friends.

I can imagine few things more difficult than what you face. my thoughts are with you.

Last edited by MaineSub; 10-14-2013 at 03:23 PM.. Reason: typo
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