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Does this make sense? What would you do?
Old 01-16-2020, 03:48 AM
  #1

DD19 attends college 2.5 hours away. It's an easy drive, down the thruway.... we always joke that you just set your cruise control, take a nap, and when you wake up, you're there!

She is currently driving her father's old car, and it's been a huge blessing to us (probably the only selfless thing he's done for us in 10 years). She's been able to get a job off-campus, she can drive herself and a few friends home on breaks.

She's going back to school on Monday, and she'll have a lot of stuff with her. Her townhouse apartment is on the 3rd floor, no elevator. She'll also have to go grocery shopping when she gets there, and restock her kitchen. So, again, 3 flights of stairs, alone.

She's asking me to go down with her, follow her in my car, help her carry her things, unpack, grocery shop, go out to lunch, etc.

I'm inclined to do it, but I'm not sure if it's kind of ridiculous? Thoughts??


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Old 01-16-2020, 03:55 AM
  #2

Go!
She wants her mom and wants to spend time with you. After all the hard work, go for a nice lunch and maybe a treat- nails, window shopping, ice cream, etc.
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Old 01-16-2020, 04:08 AM
  #3

I would go. Sure, she would be fine doing it all by herself. There's no reason for you to feel like it's ridiculous to go help and spend time with her, though. Enjoy your day!
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Old 01-16-2020, 04:13 AM
  #4

She wants her mom with her :-) As long as she usually treats you well and is appreciative of your help I say absolutely do it!
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Old 01-16-2020, 05:24 AM
  #5

Id go if I were in your shoes. Adult children often grow away from parents. Its natural. So enjoy the times your invited into her life. This will be an engaging time with your daughter.


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Old 01-16-2020, 05:54 AM
  #6

I would absolutely go! I just went with my daughter to her college 12 hours away to help her switch dorm rooms. Two and a half hours is nothing!
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Old 01-16-2020, 06:04 AM
  #7

Go! You will not regret going. You may regret not going. When a 19 year old wants to spend time with you...jump in and go!

And I'm totally jealous because I can't see my 18 year old EVER asking me to do this!
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Old 01-16-2020, 06:25 AM
  #8

I would go. You can help her out, spend some time together, and know she's safe.
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Old 01-16-2020, 06:35 AM
  #9

Go! If she asked she wants you and needs you there.
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Old 01-16-2020, 07:02 AM
  #10

Definitely go. It has absolutely nothing to do with carrying in stuff. She needs her mom


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Old 01-16-2020, 07:24 AM
  #11

Not ridiculous at all! Sounds like a fun girls' day! Go and have fun with your DD!
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Old 01-16-2020, 08:04 AM
  #12

I would go! I don't think it's ridiculous. I think it could be a fun day. I'm assuming she's asking you for companionship as well as free labor
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Old 01-16-2020, 09:11 AM
  #13

THANK YOU! I really wasn't sure it was a rational thing to do. Thanks for letting me see that it's important for me to be there if she wants me there.
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Old 01-16-2020, 01:53 PM
  #14

Good for you. I'm with everyone else. Sure, it's not necessary and if it was any trouble I'd say not. But taking an opportunity to support and spend time with your daughter will never be wrong. Our kids are several years out of college, but we were driving past our son's old school a while ago and both DH and I commented that we wished we'd spent MORE time there and also at our other son's school. We miss those days!

PS - we just helped our older son and his wife (they live 1 1/2 hours away) move a few weekends ago so those opportunities to support don't really go away, they just change.
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Old 01-16-2020, 02:43 PM
  #15

Well, you know me.. I'd def go!
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Old 01-16-2020, 02:52 PM
  #16

Don't you want to do it? This is a little odd to me that you're asking. You go because she's your daughter and you're her mother and you love her. There doesn't need to be any other reason.

My Mom would have dropped everything and offered and I wouldn't have even had to ask! As long as she remains in good health, she'll go to the ends of the earth for me. (My Dad did too, but he's been deceased.)
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Old 01-16-2020, 03:24 PM
  #17

Quote:
Don't you want to do it? This is a little odd to me that you're asking. You go because she's your daughter and you're her mother and you love her. There doesn't need to be any other reason.

My Mom would have dropped everything and offered and I wouldn't have even had to ask! As long as she remains in good health, she'll go to the ends of the earth for me. (My Dad did too, but he's been deceased.)
I DO want to do it! But I was afraid that maybe it's indulgent, and/or a waste of time and gas, taking two cars down.

I am also the mom who drops everything to go, all the time. And I'm starting to worry that maybe I need to back off a bit? But after all of this support, I'm going to let that worry go.
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Old 01-16-2020, 06:21 PM
  #18

Anytime my kids want to spend time with me I go. Have fun!
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Old 01-16-2020, 06:33 PM
  #19

GO! Without a second thought. GO!
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Old 01-16-2020, 07:11 PM
  #20

I would go in a heartbeat! Don't second guess it- go.
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Old 01-17-2020, 08:38 AM
  #21

Quote:
I DO want to do it! But I was afraid that maybe it's indulgent, and/or a waste of time and gas, taking two cars down.

I am also the mom who drops everything to go, all the time. And I'm starting to worry that maybe I need to back off a bit? But after all of this support, I'm going to let that worry go.
So glad to hear it, have a lovely day with your daughter.
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Old 01-17-2020, 10:29 PM
  #22

Go help your daughter. Have a nice dinner. Enjoy.
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Old 01-18-2020, 06:16 AM
  #23

I agree with the others - go! It's very standard for parents to follow their kids to college to help them unpack/organize. We did it with the 3 of ours and it's great memories.

The fact that she wants you there is a blessing. My DD was having a tough week at college one year and she asked me to come up (2 hours) to have a shopping day on a Saturday. I didn't hesitate, and it was such a fun day.
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I am so pleased you decided to go...
Old 01-18-2020, 01:57 PM
  #24

my DD is 24 and we love to get together now. Our time is so much more enjoyable now that she lives separately. For part of her Christmas, we got together to get out nails done and go out to eat. It is so much more fun (for me anyway) to go out as "friends" rather than just mother/daughter.
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