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mia98 mia98 is offline
 
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Old 11-08-2019, 12:45 PM
  #1

My daughter woke me up this morning finding out she is pregnant. She is about to be 19. She was crying and very upset, and told me she wanted my support and her decision is to terminate. I hugged her, plus I was woken up to the news so I was just hugging her. Now that I have processed it, I feel like I can't breath and I'm crying. I personally do not believe in that, however I support in a women's right to choose. I haven't spoken to her since. I don't want to make her feel bad, but I'm not sure I'm comfortable with her decision. I don't know if what I'm asking just needed to get it out. Again I don't want to make her feel bad, but I'm willing to take on the responsibility, but its her body.


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Old 11-08-2019, 01:10 PM
  #2

You need to be strong and support her decision regardless of how you feel. If you influence her to go along with your feelings it could be an issue for the rest of your lives and she will blame you for “forcing her” to keep the baby.

I suggest that you help her find a neutral party, preferably a doctor or nurse that can review all alternatives with her without bias. The boyfriend needs to be a part of this. Then the two of them can make their decision and your role is to support their decision whether you agree or not.
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Old 11-08-2019, 01:17 PM
  #3

Sending you hugs!
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Old 11-08-2019, 01:26 PM
  #4

Sorry to say, but you don't need to express your opinion to her unless she asks. I feel the same as you do, but it is her right to choose. This is a tough one.
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Support to you
Old 11-08-2019, 01:29 PM
  #5

Sending hugs and support to you, as you support your DD. Just love on her, regardless. Recently had a similar situation with my DS...He was distraught, but supported the woman - Hugs.


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Old 11-08-2019, 01:49 PM
  #6

You did exactly the right thing. Just continue to love her and be there for her.
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Old 11-08-2019, 02:04 PM
  #7

Such a hard time for both of you. No advice. Just sending hugs.
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Old 11-08-2019, 02:30 PM
  #8

As an adoptive mom and hoping to adopt again, I obviously disagree with your daughter's decision. I think she needs to think it through, along with the boyfriend, and they need to seek counsel. It is a child. It is not just about her body and it is not only her decision. Pregnancy resource centers are good resources for them.
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Old 11-08-2019, 03:05 PM
  #9

Sending hugs and prayers. It speaks volumes that she confided in you. Of course you will love her no matter what.

I agree that she should seek counseling and explore all options, especially since you are willing to be responsible for the baby. Babies are a gift, no matter the circumstances.

No judgement, just prayers for all, including your grandchild.

Last edited by Munchkins; 11-08-2019 at 03:35 PM..
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Old 11-08-2019, 04:48 PM
  #10

Oh, my stomach is churning for you. I do think you are so very fortunate that she told you and asked for your support. Give it to her. Counseling would help her. Her ultimate decision is hers, not yours. In her presence and in conversations with her, remember that this is about her, not you.

You can fall apart later. Hugs and a prayer for some serenity for you.


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Old 11-08-2019, 05:05 PM
  #11

(((HUGS))) for you! Your DD is blessed to have you as her mom! We all know that not all children get that type of loving support from their parents. Bless you for your willingness to be responsible for the child as well.

I agree with first and foremost making sure she knows you love her no matter what her decision. I would then recommend as others have done here that she seek some counseling either through a doctor, pregnancy resource center or mental health counselor. A mental health counselor can be a strong support for her during this time no matter what her decision.

Nancy
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Old 11-08-2019, 05:48 PM
  #12

Sending hugs and prayers.
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Old 11-08-2019, 06:11 PM
  #13

I spoke to her again, she is sure of her decision. I do not agree either, I would rather adoption as well. I made her cry, not it a bad way, she knows how I feel I apologized I didn't want to make her feel bad about her decision. There is one thing she knows is I love her know matter what. I confided in a friend, and she said it happened to her at the same age and she did not tell her parents. As some of you have wrote that it's good that she felt like could tell me. If anything I'm taking that away from this situation, she knows she can always come to me and I will love her. Thanks for the insight of all the post.
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Old 11-08-2019, 06:37 PM
  #14

I would feel torn as well but ultimately want to keep my dd coming to me with her problems. You have been given such wise advice from other posters. We are so lucky to have these posters I hope you and your dd sleep well tonight and that the dreams for both of you are peaceful.
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