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Parent complaint...let the games begin

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Parent complaint...let the games begin
Old 08-23-2017, 06:19 AM
 
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I received a note in my box from a parent reprimanding me for yelling at her son the first day of school and telling him to "shut your ass up". Of course I did no such thing. I was crying when I read it. She went on to say she was putting me on notice and if her son complained that I yelled at him again, she would be demanding a meeting with myself, the P and her.

I talked to my P, in tears of course, and she knew about it, but didn't have time to talk to me. She said she knew I would never say that.

I tried calling mom, but had to leave a message.

Mom has given kid what he wants and kept him home the last two days. Kid is reading at a first grade level in 3rd grade and is starting a new school.


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Old 08-23-2017, 07:37 AM
 
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It never ceases to amaze me what kids will tell their parents and what their parents will believe! That is ridiculous!

On the bright side, at least your P knows you would never say/do that.

Sympathy rant...
One year I had a bratty kid whose mum wanted him on one of the smiley face behaviour plans. The kid was super rude pretty much all the time to me and to peers so he generally earned the frown face or the straight face. One Friday he informed me that it didn't matter what face he got, his mum was taking him to McDonald's anyway! SO glad I have been wasting my time with the stupid ineffective behaviour plan you requested so it could be ignored!

I hope you can shake it off and have a good day despite the nonsense!
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Old 08-23-2017, 08:55 AM
 
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I'm glad your principal has your back!!! The world we live in with parents now is so weird.

My now former principal was always on the parents side and would have said "what did you do to make him feel that way?"
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Most likely
Old 08-23-2017, 09:10 AM
 
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The most likely reason he's in a new school is that they wore out their welcome at the previous school.

I hope you have his previous records. She'll probably claim he was on grade level last year.

I'm sorry the year started this way. In these kinds of situations the only consolidation is that she will be dealing with the little snowflake, (a stronger word might be more appropriate but he's still just a kid) for the rest of her life, you will only have him this year.

Something tells me your "little" puppies will be getting extra hugs this year.
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Hope her basement is comfy
Old 08-23-2017, 11:28 AM
 
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She's going to be housing him for a long, long time!
Yesterday I was asked to take a self-contained student to the car ride line. Now, with the construction, car lines are ridiculous. However, I know the little guy so took him to the line I was told to take him to. After about 10 minute his mom came up to me, in front of all of the kids and staff, and began to yell at me, telling me she was standing at the door waiting for him and asking why I didn't wait at the door with him. I pulled the "I'm just the sub." line and told her I didn't see her when I brought him out. She then told me I needed to wait at the door with him. I repeated the sub line and told her that there were two children holding the door when I walked out. I stopped to thank them and she was not there. Thank God I'm not subbing there today. This car line crap is going to get old very soon. I've never seen that many kids being driven to/from school and this new set up is not working as efficiently as the old one. It's going to go on for months due to construction. Maybe this is the year to start cutting back on subbing at my old school.

Kathy


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That's rough
Old 08-23-2017, 12:05 PM
 
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So sorry this happened to you. If it's not true (and it would be ridiculous if it was) then you should immediately ask for a meeting with the parent and your principal. You need to nip this right away or else it sets a scary precedent.
Good luck.
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Old 08-23-2017, 12:38 PM
 
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I have experienced this scenario a million times. It's good that the principal is on your side. If one doesn't have that, then he or she needs to seek advice from colleagues and or from a union. When I had a very big problem last year, I did go to the my union, but they didn't help me much either. I didn't have any support from my principal.

It sounds like your principal cares about you to a degree, so you have some support there. Try to communicate with the parent and work with them. Tel the principal you are doing these things and document them.

In a situation like yours, I would try to get the parent on my side. Modify the child's homework, or let him hand in the homework a little late while reminding him the importance of doing things on time. Whenever I was in this kind of situation, I changed my normal attitude with a parent like this and gave them "special treatment" to get them off my back. I'd accommodate the situation. Some people on here will disagree with this, but it worked for me.

It was never worth it for me to fight a parent like this in general. In my mind I never considered that I was backing down. Though I would compromise my program a little bit to keep my sanity. I would choose my battles with a parent who was determined to give me trouble. I'd argue only over something or disagree (professionally) when I felt it was really important. My philosophy is that a parent like this is not teaching his child anything about manners and social skills, and they are creating a monster since the child is most often getting his way. The parents will have to live with their creation forever, 24-7. For me, it was only a year.


Anyway, I am not that kid's parent, so I would ignore his attention seeking and small infractions. If he or she broke a major rule, like fighting out in the yard, I would counsel the student and have a meeting with the child and parent. Sometimes I'd send that student to the principal, but I would communicate with the parent on a regular basis.

I would give him rewards and compliment him for small accomplishments. I would mention social skills and manners along the way. But I didn't do all of this for the student's benefit. I did it for myself because I knew that I was never going to change the parent's and the student's mind. Handling the situation in a special way usually worked for me since the parent couldn't fight with someone who was not going to give him a fight. They wanted a fight.

Also, I would talk to the kid's teacher from last year or read the student's school history and get the lowdown on him or her. My inferences about a spoiled student's past were usually correct.
Of course the student only reads at a first grade level probably because the parent doesn't feel it's important or doesn't have time. I would work in a small reading group with that child.
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Disagree
Old 08-23-2017, 05:51 PM
 
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In my opinion, your principal did not support you nearly enough! She left you hanging to deal with something she should be dealing with. Was the note in your box written by the mom or a note written by someone in the office ABOUT what the mom said? You should have been the first to hear about it, not something that went through the office. And your principal should have dropped what she was doing and MADE TIME for this. I would be very proactive about this situation and not ignore it. It needs to be cleared up immediately and nipped in the bud. You should insist to your principal that the child not be allowed to return to your classroom without a parent/child/teacher/principal conference. This kid needs to face you and say he lied, and his mom needs to hear it. And when that happens, you graciously accept all apologies (or reasonable facsimiles), thank her for coming in and being willing to work together to resolve issues, and that you're looking forward to a productive year with her child. You should not have to spend your year walking on eggshells around this kid.
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Old 08-23-2017, 05:54 PM
 
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Yeah, I don't think it was support. I left a message for mom immediately and haven't heard back. I'm sure one of my admin did and haven't told me. I wouldn't be surprised if this goes downtown. We'll see what happens. Kid admitted he lied, but I didn't have a witness (my fault, I should have had someone there for the conversation).

We'll see what happens.
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Old 08-23-2017, 05:59 PM
 
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I agree that you need to get a meeting set up immediately with the P, Mom, and Counselor. Show the others the note to get the heads-up. This parent is making threats and pushing her weight around. It's time someone puts her back in her place.

I would also ask that the P talk to the child and get his side of the story, without letting the mom know ahead of time (or she'll cue him on what to say). There needs to be more than one person present, too.

A parent called me one time chewing me out for "talking to the class about marijuana". She said I told the class that the brownie on my desk was missing (true) and that it was important that it be found since it was a "marijuana brownie". Seriously?! I teach 3rd grade! I wouldn't say that even if it were true (which I hope it wasn't since another student gave it to me!). The mom was so funny because she kept calling it the "M word" because they didn't even say that word in her house. I finally convinced her otherwise, but it was definitely the oddest parent phone call I've ever had.

Parents need to ask us before they immediately believe their children.


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You're not special
Old 08-23-2017, 06:14 PM
 
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I told a kid that once and his mother just blew her cork.
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