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teach_love teach_love is offline
 
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teach_love
 
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I'm not Santa Claus...
Old 08-30-2017, 02:36 PM
 
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I had a child tell me in disgust today, he did not want to use the iPod for "Tech Station" because it was "old and ugly."

My jaw just hit the floor. The rudeness of this year's crop, across the board, not just my room, is unsettling to say the very least. They talk over everybody, interrupt you while you are telling them not to interrupt you, sass beyond believe, and roll their eyes at every task, lesson or activity. My counterparts tell me this is happening in their rooms too.

I get that they are 1st grade, but they are fully capable by this age of having manners and not being so rude.

Since they (and not all of them, but many) have clearly not learned patience, manners and respect, I am in search of some great resources to help my dear ones learn to be better people as a whole.

Please share any ideas, books, games, lessons, materials, etc. to encourage politeness, manners, respect, listening skills and so forth.

Thank you in advance.

I'm not Santa Claus, I can't magically produce the latest iPod or iPhone out of thin air.



Last edited by teach_love; 08-30-2017 at 03:38 PM..
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ConnieWI ConnieWI is offline
 
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My Response to Child...
Old 08-30-2017, 02:45 PM
 
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"Give me the iPod. You may sit in this chair and do nothing for the next ten minutes. Then I will give you a choice to apologize to me for your bad manners and perhaps get a second change to use this iPod."

When the ten minutes is up, I would expect the apology and give the child another chance. I would also tell the child that next time we use iPods, I want him/her to say thank you when I hand it to him/her.

Stop being the good guy...call poor behavior and bad manners what they are! I would bet this first grader did not even know he was using bad manners.

Yes...I think you need to do lessons on manners, but I also think you need to be honest and let students know when their manners are not acceptable. Then model for the child what he/she needed to say instead.

I know...I am a bit#@!!!!
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teach_love teach_love is offline
 
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I did model...
Old 08-30-2017, 03:29 PM
 
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I did address the rudeness, corrected the behavior and removed him from tech for the period. Two of my computers are down and that is why I had to put out iPods in the first place. Otherwise it would have been our reading program on the computers instead of learning based games on the iPod.

The problem isn't just him and his comment. It is nonstop rudeness. Which is taking up a lot of time modeling over and over and practicing appropriate behavior. They haven't learned these habits in a day, it isn't going to get better in a day.

I am hoping for some advice on programs or materials that are structured and have provided success in these areas. Constantly punishing a child/children is draining on me and them. I'd rather not be emotionally exhausted each day and leave feeling like I have accomplished something academic-wise over just correcting these instilled behaviors.

Rudeness met with rudeness does not combat rudeness. It just teaches them, "I'm bigger than you; do as I say." Not, "One day you'll be a functioning member of society and I hope that is outside of the jail cell."
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Old 08-30-2017, 03:39 PM
 
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I'm with the PP, the kid probably didn't even know he was being rude. A lot of kids don't get exposure any more. As kids, at least where I grew up, we went to the museum and no not a children's museum, an actual adult one. We went to the library and had librarians that expected us to be quiet (trust me no longer the case). We went out to eat after church as a family. We went to get togethers. We went over to the neighbors, and did all of it without a screen to entertain us. All of this instilled manners because we were members of society instead of being cordoned off in some kids' world bubble. So, how do you fix it? You model it, and you expect it, and when necessary you call rudeness out and supply the correct behavior. There is no structured program just you.
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teach_love teach_love is offline
 
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No magic pill....but
Old 08-30-2017, 03:49 PM
 
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I understand the child hasn't learn better, all of the ones in the grade level, haven't learned better. They are placed in front of screens at all times, as I witnessed last evening while out to eat, a toddler, maybe two years old, spent the entire meal glued to a phone listening to nursery rhymes. No interaction from adults.

There are no magic pills to cure it, but I know some people have ideas or materials they have used to coach and encourage positive behavior. For instant the "Bucket Fillers" but I have a hard time seeing how that is easily manageable in 1st grade.

I know it is a decline in our society, but we still need to teach these children and finding ways to be proactive in teaching them rather than reactive is sure to have a much greater effect. Teaching a child while they are calm is more effective than teaching them in a moment of rage. Yes modeling is a must, but there are other resources to help be proactive with the situation.


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Old 08-30-2017, 04:37 PM
 
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I'm with Connie and others who recommend to teach explicit manners. Constantly looking for the "Holy Grail" to the latest classroom problem does nothing but drain your bank account. Climb out of that hole and refuse to spend money on what is a trap that is called"it is the teacher's fault." Connie's advice is not rude. It is reality and practicality. It is kind and will be useful to the child in the long run.
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Bucket Fillers
Old 08-30-2017, 04:59 PM
 
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I was fortunate enough to teach first graders who were, for the most part, very kind and polite. Of course they weren't that way all of the time and there were always the small handful of stinkers. Bucket Fillers book (why can't I think of the actual title???) and activities were very successful with first graders. It does take time.

Are there one or two kids who are polite? I'm sure you already point out when those kids are doing the right thing. Even passing out an m and m or other small treat might work. I did that one year. I gave directions one time and even told them who ever followed directions the first time would get a treat. I followed through. I got a lot of "Why didn't I get a treat?" We talked it through. I agree that so many kids are not taught how to be polite, wait their turn, etc.. They need to be taught not humiliated. But they also need to be told when they are being rude.

Another strategy was called "Secret 3" (or whatever number works for you) At the beginning of the day I'd tell them I was looking for 3 students who could be polite and at the end of the day (or hour or whatever) I'd announce who those students were and they'd get a prize. I tried to make it an easy but desirable prize like 5 minutes on the computer, playing with playdoh, etc... It worked well for at least a few weeks.

And of course, model, model, model. When a child is being polite, stop whatever you are doing and make a positive example of that child. When a child is being rude speak to him/her about what they could say. Do a chart about politeness...1. What does it look like? 2. What does it sound like? 3. What does it feel like? Keep that chart up and refer to it. Take 5 minutes at the beginning of every day to review that chart and talk about what they have done that's been polite. Send them out the door at the end of the day with this homework, "Come back to school tomorrow and tell me about a time between now and then when you were polite." And when all else fails, do what my favorite Guidance Counselor would do/say to my first graders: Smile and say "Looks like someone needs manners sprinkles" as you scatter invisible sprinkles over their heads.
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Thank you Chronicfun
Old 08-30-2017, 05:06 PM
 
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Thanks for tips. This is what I was looking for. I feel like I spend the majority of the day modeling and modeling is only part of the equation. I love the other ideas you shared. These are useful ideas I didn't have in my teacher bank.

Unfortunately, I can't do the m&m one, but that sounds yummy (due to policies). Please if you think of other ideas, share. Thanks again.
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happy to help!
Old 08-30-2017, 05:27 PM
 
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How about a sticker instead of candy?

Have kids share a time someone was rude to them. How did that make you feel? Share a time someone was polite. How did you feel? Share a time you were rude, how did you feel? Share a time you were polite, how did you feel? Tie their actions to feelings. Create a class book/write in journals using these prompts.

Have the kids role play a situation where they can be rude and then brainstorm how they could change it to show politeness.

Have You Filled A Bucket Today? is the book! If you google it you'll find all sorts of activities to go along with it. I used it for most of the school year before it lost it's shine.
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I would give them different technology
Old 08-30-2017, 05:28 PM
 
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I'd tell them that I'm going to give them an old fashioned type of technology and then hand them a pencil and paper.

I'm never happy with myself if I give a lecture... So I'd rather just take action that makes them learn a good lesson without me being critical.


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Old 08-30-2017, 06:24 PM
 
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There are all sorts of books you can use, as well. Beg. of year books that help build community while teaching manners, etc.

Do Unto Otters
Each Kindness
Rude Cakes

There are a gazillion more, but it's late and my brain is tired. Google some. Check them out from the library. We spend the first 2-3 weeks really focusing on building community, treating each other with respect, etc. 1st graders are not too young to absorb the lessons that come from reading and discussing books on topics related to manners.
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Old 08-30-2017, 08:01 PM
 
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I think if I were in your shoes I would dedicate 10-15 minutes every day talking about being kind and polite. Have them discuss when someone was/wasn't kind or polite and how they felt. Have them role play. Read a book. Just be very consistent with making that a part of your daily routine.
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teach_love teach_love is offline
 
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Eliza4one
Old 09-02-2017, 03:37 PM
 
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Thank you for the suggestion of books. I'll search for them. I love modeling through books and these sound like they will be great proactive strategies. I've used several books already this year, but this group of students seem to need more time with these skills; just very under developed emotional skills.
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Old 09-02-2017, 03:42 PM
 
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Yes! You are so right. I have turned my morning message time into morning meeting so we can work on team building. I think it is just a reflection on our local society and changes that have taken place over the last decade. The economy crashed, lots of depression, drug problems increased greatly and these babies just have developed emotionally like they need to. I think it is just going to have to become part of our curriculum to purposely focus on emotional development. My heart goes out to these babies, as they don't get what they need to grow effectively. My hope is finding ways to be proactive will help them in the long run be better citizens than they have been taught at home. I've really focused on empathy. Thank you.
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