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Things your father taught you
Old 09-08-2021, 08:43 AM
  #1

To piggyback off Amiga’s post, what are some things your father taught you?

I truly think I learned more and got more from my father than my mother. He taught me to work hard and value family over everything else.

Play hurt.

He also taught me that nothing prepares you for your first raw oyster (a favorite saying of his).


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Old 09-08-2021, 09:14 AM
  #2

My dad was one of the great listeners. He always made me feel like what I said had value and he was never too busy to talk. He taught me to understand others opinions even if they didn't agree with mine. One of the silver linings of the pandemic was that he came to stay with us and we had so many good talks about both current events and family.

As for practical advice, he always said "Don't force things" and "3 rights are better than 1 left" (he started his career as an auto claims adjuster )
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Old 09-08-2021, 09:24 AM
  #3

Dad taught us the abstract qualities of grace, respect, and humility.

More concretely, he taught us (4 daughters) to use tools and made sure we knew how to change a tire and check the oil on a car.
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Old 09-08-2021, 09:31 AM
  #4

My dad taught me how to fish and how to love baseball!

He'd hand me a copy of the Washington Post over breakfast and say, "Read this article to your mother." Then there would be a discussion among everyone at the table. We were encouraged and expected to think and have opinions we could support. Our meals were always full of interesting conversation and not just about current events!

My dad also taught us all how to live with a terminal illness and how to die with grace.
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Old 09-08-2021, 09:38 AM
  #5

My dad taught me the love of reading and curiosity. As far back as I can remember, he would buy me boxes and boxes of books that the library discarded or people gave away, regardless of topic or suitability.

He also gave me the gift of music by taking me from a very young age to dress rehearsals of operas, symphonies and other classical music performances. We went to dress rehearsals because they were free.

My dad was a linguist who spoke 10 languages fluently, three of them self-taught. I got my love of languages from him.


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Old 09-08-2021, 09:43 AM
  #6

To read for enjoyment.
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Things my dad taught
Old 09-08-2021, 09:52 AM
  #7

  • Everything is a lesson, even if it was a mistake.
  • Never pour milk on your cereal with your spoon in the bowl😂
  • When you are at work,your time belongs to your employer.Don’t waste it.
  • If you want something, earn it. Don’t expect someone to give it to you.
  • If you make a commitment, stick with it.
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Old 09-08-2021, 09:58 AM
  #8

My father taught me:
*grades are important
*how to stand on a board when he was sawing
*how to be a friend
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Old 09-08-2021, 09:58 AM
  #9

Dad taught me to learn as much as possible and to work hard. He also taught me to appreciate the beauty of nature.
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Old 09-08-2021, 10:05 AM
  #10

“When you’re in the wrong, shut up.” I wish more people knew this.

He also taught me to drive a stick. However, I can’t drive a stick well because he got mad and gave up after the fourth time I shifted from 3rd to 1st while giggling hysterically (I’m a nervous giggler).

His parents never came to anything he did in school (because they were generally awful people from what I’ve been told…I only met them as a baby) so he came to every single extra curricular event my brother or I had. He truly showed up for us and I’ll never forget that and try to do that for the people in my life.

He taught me that working hard is just as important as being “book smart.” He didn’t go to college but he worked hard his whole life.

He also taught me to be kind to animals. On his milk route, he would pour out saucers of milk for the barn cats at every stop. Those cats loved him. He was my dog, Lucy’s, favorite person in the world. He was always taking care of animals despite “not being a pet person.”


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Old 09-08-2021, 11:12 AM
  #11

Dad taught me to love reading. He had a big library room and it was open to me. Most of it was medical stuff (he was a doctor), but he had books like Design with Nature (Ian McHarg), Sand County Almanac (Aldo Leopoldo), Silent Spring (Rachel Carson), Limits to Growth (Donella Meadows, et al), Walden (Thoreau), and Essays of Ralph Waldo Emerson as well as Gray’s Anatomy (no, not on video). He had identification books for birds, wildflowers, trees, insects, reptiles, and amphibians, as well.

He was always having us notice our outdoor surroundings. We used his microscope to look at pond water and his dissection kit to see the insides of the ground squirrel the cat caught. We fed the birds and went on Sunday morning nature walks. We took pajama rides in the old Chevy at dusk to look for deer.

When I shirked my chores or stayed up past my bedtime to read, he told my mom, “Don’t bother her. You can never read enough. Let her have as much time as she wants for that.”

He taught us that we had a duty as stewards of our planet as well as to care for others. In many ways he was far ahead of his time.
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Old 09-08-2021, 11:14 AM
  #12

Wow....y'all sound like you had really great dads. My dad worked hard, 7 days a week, 364 days a year (he took off Christmas Day) and what I learned from him was to enjoy my kids and not to spend my life working. He never had a credit card and never bought anything he couldn't pay for right away. While I admire that habit....it was not one I ever adopted.
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Old 09-08-2021, 11:28 AM
  #13

I think the most important thing I learned from my dad was that I was loved, thoroughly and absolutely.

I learned that people are more important than things.

And that honesty and integrity are values to live by.
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Old 09-08-2021, 11:52 AM
  #14

What I learned from my father was by bad example. My father was a self centered bully who put built his business and wealth on the backs of his children. He was anti- education, anti-religion, anti -time-off and vacations.


I learned to be the opposite. I worked hard, but I spend a lot of time with my kids as they grew up and now as they are adults. I earned advanced degrees. I travel and enjoy life!
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What my father taught me
Old 09-08-2021, 11:55 AM
  #15

Very little since my parents divorced when I was not yet two years old. There was no contact ever after that. Years later I found out he returned to Europe where he was born and lived before my parents were married.

However, my mother made up for his loss. My brother and I never doubted that we were always first in her love and attention.
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Old 09-08-2021, 12:39 PM
  #16

I had my father until I was 8 but I learned about hard work. He didn’t talk much but his actions spoke much about learning to do what’s necessary.
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Old 09-08-2021, 12:47 PM
  #17

I also learned to be the opposite of what my dad has been. I stayed in school because I wanted more opportunities and never wanted to depend on the government to take care of me. I save money and watch my spending because my dad can't even save a dollar. He's completely broke and lives off our government and the generosity of others. I watch my health (I need to do better) because he has lost a leg due to type 2 diabetes. He doesn't take care of himself at all. I call people just to say hi and see how they are doing because he only calls when he needs something. He's not a bad person. He just doesn't know how to be a dad.
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Old 09-08-2021, 01:30 PM
  #18

He taught me how to polka. How I enjoyed spinning around the dance floor with him!

He was quiet but always showed up for any of our events- sports, academic, dance, etc.
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Old 09-08-2021, 01:50 PM
  #19

One of the lessons that sticks with me is "Thinking you deserve something is what gets a person into trouble."

He taught me that when I was buying a house (not buying a house you can't afford) but it's applicable in so many ways - vacations, food, relationships, etc. It has stuck with me, particularly when spending money.
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Old 09-08-2021, 01:52 PM
  #20

My father taught me to be wary of even the most charming and well respected people. Just because someone seems kind and intelligent and thoughtful doesn’t mean they truly are.

He taught me that sincere apologies even when you are in the right can keep you out of harms way more than insisting that you are right and fighting for the sake of pride and being correct with the wrong person.

It is better to be quiet and unnoticed than loud and the center of attention almost every single time.

My father also taught me that nothing is forever, and he has inadvertently instilled in me to always prepare to be alone while hoping that it won’t come to that. I stay on my toes and try to mentally prepare for anything and everything while hoping for the best.
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Old 09-08-2021, 02:02 PM
  #21

Taught me to not trust outsiders.
That i was worthless, stupid, selfish,fat, ugly, and that he was ashamed to have me as a daughter, to never ask for help, and to only believe HIM.
I still love him though
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Dating
Old 09-08-2021, 02:25 PM
  #22

I learned much about life from my dad, but he took me out on dates as a kid. Usually we went to dinner, but sometimes to a ball game or Disney movie. He opened the car door, pulled out my chair, stood when I left the table, etc. All these things I knew he did for my mother, but he explained why. My dh has always treated me like him and my sons do if I'm with them and their dad's not around.
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Old 09-08-2021, 02:38 PM
  #23

LikePPCDTeacher, my father's lessons were not positive.
First and foremost he taught me that alcohol was the most important thing in the world. More important than keeping his family intact.

His favorite sayings:
"I would die for you kids."
I wanted to ask why he didn't live for his kids.
"I would steal for you kids."
Yet alcohol was more important than us having enough food, shoes without holes, clothing that fit and wasn't worn out, or medical care.
"Do you see what you did to your mother?"
When my mother had Schizophrenic breaks it was determined by my father and extended family that it was my fault. From a very young age I tried to be the mom during the several weeks my mom was hospitalized. This was a happened regularly.
As the oldest, most everything was my fault. My grades, my volunteer work as a candy striper, my extra curriculars, my attempts to earn money by running errands, then babysitting and a later paper route... Nothing brought a word of praise, only condemnation.
I was alone with three siblings on Saturdays . I used my money to buy food to feed them.
He allowed his four children to endure foster care rather than showing us we were important enough to put in the work for reunification.
He checked out.
He taught me not to trust men or authority figures.
He taught me that running and hiding only delayed the beatings. No where was safe. He taught me to "keep (my) mouth shut" about basically everything.
He taught me fear and anxiety and a sense of deep shame. He taught me that I was worthless.

His lessons shaped and molded and engrained me in ways I still don't understand.

Dorothy
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Old 09-08-2021, 02:39 PM
  #24

I wanted to add that from 16 on I had a guardian who taught me so many things. He taught me how to run a household. He taught me how to act in public at a nicer place. He taught me to forgive always and always try to be the better person. He taught me that if you can help you should. He was a great man that deserved more out of life. He passed in his early 60s and he was definitely one of the good ones.
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Old 09-08-2021, 02:52 PM
  #25

My dad was a quiet man, but I remember when I got my first job and I got "Employee of the Month". He congratulated me, but then later told me to always remember that anyone can be replaced. It was good advice - I was/am always a hard worker.
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Old 09-08-2021, 03:01 PM
  #26

Sigh. I can’t help but feel envious when I read some of your posts. My dad mostly taught me how to lie, how to cheat, and how to manipulate others. I definitely learned that appearances are deceiving and that people are often not what they appear from him.

I will say that my stepfather is a wonderful man who is a fantastic grandfather to my kids. My mom married him when I was in my 20’s, so the damage from my bio dad was already done to me.
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Lessons from Dad
Old 09-08-2021, 03:12 PM
  #27

My dad taught me:

To save money and live frugally
To be kind to animals, children, and elderly
To read and ask questions to learn more
To treasure family and tell lots of family stories
To always remember it's darkest before dawn.
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Old 09-08-2021, 03:21 PM
  #28

This is, sadly, very negative.

I know that no one in life/work will be as mean as he is. So, it kind of allows me not to be scared in some situations that would scare other people.

Kind of like: You don't scare me! My dad was way worse!

Like some others, I have felt the pressure to be better than he was. He always believed the worst in me and coming from someone that didn't seem to expect much of himself, that was damaging. I still struggle with the idea of self-worth. This makes me push myself quite hard.

Like Dorothy, I wonder what exactly he taught me. And, I wonder how I'd be different without his "lessons."

This always floors me. My dad never drank. My best friend to this day commented in at least the last 10 years, "But your dad said that stuff when he was drunk, right?" I think the idea that he was so terrible to bear during my childhood while sober doesn't sit right with her. Somehow, I find solace in this. No sane person would act this way while sober makes me feel better.
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Old 09-08-2021, 03:28 PM
  #29

Things my dad taught me . . .
  • the art of fishing
  • basics of DIY home maintenance
  • how to navigate with a map
  • parallel parking
  • love of pickup trucks
  • benefits of hard work
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Old 09-08-2021, 04:23 PM
  #30

My dad taught me:
I am loved beyond measure
Family is love and comes first
Forgiveness (My mom held on to everything forever so this meant alot to me)
How to fish
How to trust and when to trust
It's okay to mess up but learn from it and don't repeat
Be willing to work for your goals
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dad's
Old 09-08-2021, 04:26 PM
  #31

A couple of things I learned from my dad:
I learned a love of travel and maps.
I learned to drive and know some car basics.
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Old 09-08-2021, 05:00 PM
  #32

Love is often in actions, not words
Always check for all of the parts before trying to put something together
How to change a tire and oil
If I'm methodical and follow directions I can probably do most anything
How to play many board and card games
How to drive
How to have an opinion without forcing it on others
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Old 09-08-2021, 05:16 PM
  #33

Things my father taught me:

How to drive a tractor
How to be a hard worker
How to love God
How to be the voice of reason when you are a parent
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Old 09-08-2021, 05:33 PM
  #34

Something my dad taught me:

That I should always give 100%.
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Old 09-08-2021, 05:40 PM
  #35

My dad taught me:

How to change a tire
How to change the oil in my car
How to bleed the brakes
How to do a tune-up (obsolete now)
How to put snow chains on tires
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Old 09-08-2021, 06:15 PM
  #36

My Dad taught me:
- How to serve others whole heartedly
- How to love Jesus
- How to love others through actions, not just words
- That if you see a problem, it’s yours to try and fix
- To fish
- To keep commitments
- To garden
- How to rest when it’s needed
- To love history
- Lots of quirky, great sayings (mostly from his dad) like “That was a good idea that wasn’t worth a darn!”
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Old 09-09-2021, 11:24 AM
  #37

My wife and kids never met my father since he died while I was in college.
If it was somehow possible for them to meet him, I think they’d be surprised since the two of us appear to be very different people.

My father grew up during the Great Depression. Although his father was never unemployed, life was very difficult for the family economically.
He was always frugal, and with many household repairs, he was a do-it-yourselfer. He never felt comfortable spending money on himself. Fancy clothes and fancy cars meant nothing to him.

Looking back, I learned many important life lessons from him. He was very loyal to his family, and would do anything for us. While his elderly mother was alive, he’d call her daily and help her every way he could. He owned a small business, and was very devoted to his employees.
He was a careful spender, and believed in saving (and wisely investing) money.

Although we are two very different people, I’m proud to say that a lot of him rubbed off on me.
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