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Trying not to judge - Go Fund Me
Old 09-23-2017, 08:28 AM
  #1

Friends both have high paying jobs. They wanted one more child but ended up with triplets due to IVF. They started a Go Fund Me account for their children's futures. They are not including what they both do for a living which I think is misleading for those who want to donate. Also, shouldn't they have considered multiple births when they started IVF? I thought it was quite common with that procedure. I'm not saying anything to them because it's obviously their choice to do this. I just think the site has become very backwards.


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Old 09-23-2017, 08:40 AM
  #2

Just like with everything, people have to use their own judgement and do their own research before donating money. I really have a hard time with all the money people give, and often people whom, in my judgement, don't really have the money to give.

I had a friend who did a go fund me to help her son pay for a college trip to Germany. Maybe grandparents and relatives might want to help, but for me, I think that is wrong. If you want to ask friends and family, ask them. If you can't ask them, sending a link to a go fund me just seems wrong.
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Old 09-23-2017, 08:40 AM
  #3

I agree. It used to be for emergency situations like medical bills. Now apparently itís for funding vacations or other wants. If they have good jobs, they should be able to provide for 3 children. Just sad really. So many donít want to take responsibility for their own lives and feel they are entitled to other peopleís money.
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Old 09-23-2017, 08:58 AM
  #4

You're a better person than I am for not judging. I think that's flat-out ridiculous and couldn't have said it better than annie:
Quote:
So many don’t want to take responsibility for their own lives and feel they are entitled to other people’s money.
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Old 09-23-2017, 09:07 AM
  #5

Quote:
You're a better person than I am for not judging. I think that's flat-out ridiculous and couldn't have said it better than annie:
Completely agree.. My very good friend started a go fund me page for a daughter who wanted to travel to some country. NO way NO how.. I had (at that time) 3 kids in college. They are the ones my money goes to.


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Old 09-23-2017, 09:26 AM
  #6

I agree with you - a person's home is lost in a house fire, there are high unexpected medical bills for a child and one parent has to stop working, things like are fine. I would never donate to a family such as the one you describe, especially since they both have good jobs. Obviously they had some money to begin with because most health insurance policies do not cover infertility treatments. I had a friend once start a "Go Fund Me" because she wanted to send her daughter to a baton twirling tournament in North Carolina! Sorry, no way!

Nancy
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Old 09-23-2017, 09:41 AM
  #7

This ranks right up there with people who enroll their children in sports and then have them ask for money to pay expenses by standing outside of stores with cans, asking for donations. I will support organizations if they are fundraising by selling something, but not if they are simply begging. If you can't afford a sport, join something you can afford.

Rant over!
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Old 09-23-2017, 09:43 AM
  #8

Not a valid reason in my opinion! It takes such a nerve to do something like that .
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Old 09-23-2017, 10:34 AM
  #9

Wow, that's ridiculous.

Totally agree with this:
Quote:
So many donít want to take responsibility for their own lives and feel they are entitled to other peopleís money.
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Go Fund Me
Old 09-23-2017, 10:50 AM
  #10

Ummm . . . . no , nope, no way. That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. They sound entitled and clueless.


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If you...
Old 09-23-2017, 10:59 AM
  #11

If you are dumb/naive to give it, they are more than willing enough to take it.

I swear a good 60% of GFM has morphed into professional grifting. I've seen more variations on the "God blessed us (x) amount of kids and we know you will help us provide."

I'm not paying for people's poor choices. 5 kids under and you are 24, no. I'm not talking family provider gets ill/accident, and you have a big family with a whole heap of bad luck. A distant relative had 5 kids before she was 24 with her *I have no clue or work ethic* husband. She's all over GFM. Somehow she's managed to grift some really nice 4 day vacations, because it's so hard and not fair to the kids.

Coaches will flat out request you throw up a GFM site to help pay for meets, tournaments, training expenses. What people don't realize, that is considered income, and I would be really careful all the ramifications for scholarships etc.

I know for medical expenses, you have to be careful with GFM. You may raise just enough to not qualify for assistance from some hospitals. What you get from GFM may not be enough to cover everything, but just enough to bounce you out of all extra help. That almost happened to a friend of mine. The assistance the hospital would give him was more than what GFM raised.

The above relative has managed to grift a double wide model home, a fairly decent used car, vacations, and money to help raise her kids. She grew up middle class. Went to a public decent school. She's lazy as a summer's day is long. If this relative spent as much energy actually finding gainful employment as she does grifting on GFM, she'd have more money.

I have sent money via GFM to help bury the dead and hospital bills. You have to have a really compelling story (almost print media/local news worthy) before I part with a dime.

And I'm not totally against funding young athletes. I've sent money to promising figure skaters off and on for training expenses, but you four year old does not need lessons from Frank Carroll (three skate nerds here get this referencew). Have your kid win sectionals and we can talk.
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LOL. I judge, but keep my mouth shut
Old 09-23-2017, 11:38 AM
  #12

One on my FB feed popped up reading "Mommy needs a new car." I did not contribute and neither had anyone else as of the last time I checked.

I am very choosy about who I give money to. I have given towards funeral costs for a young person, huge medical expenses outside insurance and 3-4 trips (like mission trips, etc.) for people. I am not against the trips per se as they used to ask in person or by letter. GFM and similar sites have just streamlined that. Sometimes I just use the GFM account for information and then give directly to the person if I am so inclined. I know the Host site keeps a portion of the $ contributed.

Quote:
I swear a good 60% of GFM has morphed into professional grifting. I've seen more variations on the "God blessed us (x) amount of kids and we know you will help us provide."
Tawaki, I think you are being generous! I was going to say that is it probably higher than that.
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Old 09-23-2017, 12:10 PM
  #13

Just like so many other things on the Internet, people abuse the intent behind GoFundMe. One of my parents' neighbors set up a page to raise money to send their son to medical school. They have their own roofing company and live in a nice home. I just don't think asking others for tuition money is the way to go about that - there are grants and loans for that. Of course those have to be paid for eventually, but that is called responsibility.

IMHO, GoFundMe should be used for situations like a previous poster mentioned - unexpected medical situations, family emergencies, etc.
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Wow
Old 09-23-2017, 03:15 PM
  #14

Can you say hell NO!? They wanted the child(ren) and assume they knew the chances of having multiples.

I think that is sooooo tacky!
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Old 09-23-2017, 04:35 PM
  #15

I had a difficult time asking for donations to a charitable cause my daughter was working on.The money was for children's cancer research and I still felt icky promoting it. No way I would do a GFM.
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Old 09-23-2017, 04:51 PM
  #16

Depending on who it was .. I may give money. I tend to give money to friends and family. I dunno... it's not the worst thing IMO.
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Old 09-23-2017, 05:17 PM
  #17

I used to donate to things like GoFundMe and YouCaring requests even if they were for things like a student going to camp or playing team sports because I figured that people would never humble themselves to ask for something like that if they weren't desperate, and I do support children having those kind of experiences even if their parents can't afford them. And I definitely donated to medical expenses for human and animal alike because, again, they wouldn't ask if they weren't desperate.

Then I learned others don't have as much problem asking as I would. There are many things I don't want to afford and would rather have someone else pay for; that is entirely different than can't afford.
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Old 09-23-2017, 06:08 PM
  #18

Quote:
it's not the worst thing IMO.
I suppose not. Especially in today's increasingly warped society.

It is a reflection of our society today, and not a good one, either. There will always be people gullible enough to donate, which is why GME keeps on keeping' on!
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Old 09-23-2017, 07:08 PM
  #19

I consider myself a charitable person. I decide for myself how to spend my money. I don't give to potential scams, but I will give to people I know. I also give to rescues and other organizations.

I don't consider being a giving person to be the same as gullible, especially if I'm fully aware of where my money is going. It's my money. I can give it to whomever I want.
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