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Hurt Feelings, feeling very low
Old 02-27-2020, 09:57 PM
 
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My feelings are very hurt. I have always said that the staff at my school is awesome and the most supportive and welcoming group of teachers. People from other schools/district committee members that I work with have said that the teachers at my site are unfriendly/unkind but I always said NO WAY.

Well I finally got a taste of what they are talking about.

I worked really hard on something fun for the students to do on technology (my committee). I worked with a software developer to come up with a participation contest and provide free prizes for students who use the ed tech to practice their skills. I spent countless hours finding something that all the classes could do regardless of age or what type of devices they have in classrooms (primary has tablets that aren't compatible with most programs-including the district purchased programs) or at home, coming up with the "tournament", meeting virtually with developers, offering after school training for teachers so they could know enough to participate if they wanted to, putting up displays for the students to get them excited about it, and connecting it all to information I presented in staff development, ect. Well apparently the principal got complaints from some teachers that they arent happy that planned an activity at all and feel pressured to participate. Well you know what, I didn't need a thank you or recognition for everything I have done to set up something fun and special for students but I sure expected better than to hear that they complain about me for it-while never coming to me to and saying anything.

I feel so hurt. I will never go out of my way to set up anything fun, special, and extra, ever again. I dont even think I will continue to be on this committee and do the extra leadership position again next year. Forget this, if people are going to be so damn displeased while I work my butt off then I'll get a different side job-the stipend from the position doesn't even begin to cover the time I put in and after this year I'll finally be getting a hefty raise and I just got hired to do side work with another district. I dont need this crap.

But the worst part-I dont have many, or any really, outside of work friendships-how could I when I spend almost all my waking hours at work and what is left working another job and being a single parent. So it feels like I have no friends right now. It doesnt feel at all good. I know it was only a few people and several people have been so appreciative but to hear this news, well its hit me very hard. I am devastated. I have a had a team mate who talked about me behind my back (but within my range of hearing) this year-now I feel like maybe everyone does it and I just dont hear about it. I am literally devastated.


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Old 02-28-2020, 03:30 AM
 
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I'm sorry that you are feeling unappreciated. It does sound like you put a lot of work into this. And it sounds very cool with free prizes-very neat! Did you do it all by yourself/ a one person committee? One thing could be others are feeling that this is one more thing to have to do. I know our staff right now is feeling overwhelmed with everything. No one wants to take on one more new thing!

So it's probably not you, but the idea of an extra added to their plate? Just trying to conjecture here. Can your class participate and be the models for everyone else?
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Ugh
Old 02-28-2020, 04:43 AM
 
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I'm sorry. Teachers are overwhelmed and exhausted and don't want one more thing on their plate. It would have been nice for someone to compliment you but, unfortunately, that doesn't happen much.

Try to set some boundaries with school. Do fun things outside of work. Teaching is a tiring and stressful job, and you need time to decompress.
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Old 02-28-2020, 05:07 AM
 
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I have a had a team mate who talked about me behind my back (but within my range of hearing) this year-now I feel like maybe everyone does it and I just dont hear about it.
It sounds as though what's the most hurtful is that they went behind your back to the principal and didn't voice their concerns to you. It definitely is an unpleasant feeling to realize that your work with people like this but you need to remember that it speaks to who they are, not to who you are. If they're this type of staff, they no doubt back-bite each other, too.

I completely understand how hard it is to make friends outside of work when you're busy and a single parent. Been there, done that. Try to make it a priority, though. Maybe you can find some time over the summer to do some things that will allow you to meet new people.

Or maybe you'll find that the staff at this other school you'll be working for are more trustworthy. I worked with a gossipy, back-biting staff for decades and just assumed that it was that way everywhere. It was a suprirse to me that it's not.

The fact that they didn't want to participate in this activity might be a combination of things. It really might be that they're feeling overwhelmed right now. Or it might just be that they're resistant to anything that might make a colleage look good. Who knows?
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A shame...
Old 02-28-2020, 05:39 AM
 
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Itís a shame that students will lose out on a fun activity. That being said, the last thing many teachers want is extra after school training. Were the teachers asked about doing this prior to your setting it up?

Years ago, my grade level worked with my grade level to do research and the students created books as the final project. We had parents come in to help. One teacher who was new to our grade level complained to the principal about giving up her library prep time to help. I didnít get it then, but I do now, especially with all the demands and mandates teachers have.

Unfortunately, not everyone will share your enthusiasm, but will feel that if their kids donít have the option to join in, parents will complain. Also, the principal should have told the complainers to talk to you. You might have allayed their fears.

Sounds like you have plans to move your career forward. It is truly their loss, and unfortunately, their students, too.


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Old 02-28-2020, 05:44 AM
 
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It sounds as though what's the most hurtful is that they went behind your back to the principal and didn't voice their concerns to you.
That is exactly it. I thought they were my friends and instead they complained about me to the boss behind my back.

It keeps coming up this year-talking behind my back, and after I am just trying to do everything I can to support others and the students. It really is hurtful.
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Old 02-28-2020, 06:12 AM
 
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Your p handled things very badly. THey should have taken the burden themselves.

Sometimes we have things that affect our classrooms that we have no say in and it is very annoying. When our kids are more vested in some outside event than they are class it is difficult to deal with, even if it is something related to school. I get so annoyed when they can remember to bring $5 for the bake sale, but they can't bring their homework or their project to school.

Our committees bring things back to the staff and the staff decides whether things are a good idea or not. Even then, sometimes it turns out differently than expected. More classtime than we thought or something like that.

Sorry that you put so much work into something that was appreciated like you wanted. It does sound like kids enjoyed it, and if kids enjoyed it, their parents probably did, too. I am interested in what you did.. Info you can share with me?
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Old 02-28-2020, 08:46 AM
 
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The principal should have stopped the complaining teachers and asked them to go to you with concerns. I'd be hurt as well and send sympathy your way. Some teachers can be hurtful backstabbers and ten minutes later invite you for drinks after work.
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I am sorry about the backstabbers.
Old 02-28-2020, 11:52 AM
 
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That is really hurtful. I learned very early on that when you work your butt off to put together something big and fun, there will always be complainers at our school. It is nothing personal. I have watched some complain about their own "friends."
In your case, it does sound like the teachers may not have known ahead of time. If they felt compelled to do something they weren't planning, it would make it feel like 1 more thing piled on their plates. ( I have felt that way before.)
I stopped doing a lot of extra school projects and things I did not want to do after awhile of being there. When it is not appreciated, why waste your time? Do it for your own class and any friends who want to do it w/ you.
I hope you will take some time, maybe on spring break or during the summer, to find a friend preferably with kids you like. I ended up a single parent teaching too at 1x. It is much easier when you have a good friend to do things with and your kids get along. Best wishes to you!
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Old 02-28-2020, 02:55 PM
 
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I'm sorry. I've been there and it's not fun to feel this way. I promise you that there are people at your school who thought what you did was great. You just don't hear from them. I would not recommend staying in a place where things feel toxic. You may need to for a while but keep yourself happy and start to think about an exit plan.


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Old 03-03-2020, 06:24 PM
 
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I understand. Living this life this year. A couple of toxic teachers in my hallway who put everything and everyone down. I try to stay as far away from them as possible. I refuse to let these teachers steal my joy so I try to interact with teachers who are kind, sincere and real. I'm sorry you are hurting...just know that there are teachers on this board and maybe even at your school going through the same thing. I hope tomorrow is a brighter day!
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((hug))
Old 03-03-2020, 06:48 PM
 
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But the worst part-I dont have many, or any really, outside of work friendships
I know it's not the same, but we're your friends here!!

Sorry some of the teachers were so mean about the project. - I bet once they try it, the kids will love it!
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