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Feeling jilted
Old 07-03-2012, 08:52 PM
 
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So, tomorrow is the 4th. I actually forgot about it until today, so I didn't make any plans. However, I've since come to find that 2 different friends of mine, who I always invite to our big Christmas party, are each having parties tomorrow. Not just having close friends over--full on parties. I wasn't invited to either. I know I shouldn't let it hurt my feelings, but really it does. I just feel completely forgotten.


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yes
Old 07-03-2012, 09:04 PM
 
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I would call them on Thursday and ask, "How did your party go yesterday?" I'd feel bad too. It just doesn't seem fair does it?
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Old 07-03-2012, 09:24 PM
 
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I was dumped once the morning.of July forth. If I hadn't been I wouldn't have met my now dh. Make your own plans and think outside the box. Shall we remind u of this at Xmas? Lol
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Old 07-03-2012, 09:24 PM
 
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How horrible! But unfortunately, I sorta know how you feel.

I recently moved due to divorce. For MANY years (over 10), we celebrated the 4th at a dear friend's house. Grilling, swimming, eating, you get the picture.

This year looks like I'll be solo with my college-aged kids in my teeny tiny (crappy, sucky, hot, and old) home across town.

I'm planning a fun day anyway, even though I know the party is going on as usual in my old neighborhood...just without me and my kids.

I'm learning to make lemonade with the over abundance of lemons I have.
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Old 07-03-2012, 10:38 PM
 
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I'm sorry, I would feel so hurt about this. That stinks. I wonder if it was just an oversight or a misunderstanding or something.


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Old 07-04-2012, 01:45 AM
 
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That is lousy. I would be feeling a little left out/annoyed also. I agree with the pp about Christmas--forget about those "friends". Do something fun with your kids and begin making your own 4th tradition.
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Old 07-04-2012, 03:17 AM
 
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Quote:
I would call them on Thursday and ask, "How did your party go yesterday?"
I'd do this too. Something similar happened to me a couple of weeks ago. My friend said she'd text if they were going out after going to the driving range. Last message I got was "we are on our way there now". Which I thought meant the driving range, since I didn't know where they were going afterwards. Then her hubby posts where they are on FB . I was all grumped out. My friend texts later and I wrote "Did you have a good time at ......". She said yes.....they a couple of minutes later said, "You did get the message right?". I explained and she said here hubby was talking to her in the car (which means they were probably arguing ) when she was texting and didn't realize they didn't put the place. She usually not like that so I believe her.

My point is, don't just write them off. Say something nicely. It will make you feel better in the end. I know it is a TERRIBLE feeling when you feel you are left out .
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Old 07-04-2012, 04:19 AM
 
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I would feel the same way. I'm sorry.
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Old 07-04-2012, 04:40 AM
 
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Hmmm, could it be that since you always have a big Christmas party, that you already have plans for the fourth? Have you talked to them recently.

I didn't plan a New Year's Eve party because I assumed all my friends were less lame then I and already had plans. After I talked to them, I found out that all 10 couples were just staying home, just like me and DH, so we had a party!

If it is really a friendship, I would call them today, not Thursday.
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Party
Old 07-04-2012, 04:48 AM
 
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Oh, I would be hurt too. I wish I had the guts to call and say something either today or tomorrow but I know I don't.

Knowing me, I'd just find something else to do.


Sorry that your party invites were not reciprocated


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Old 07-04-2012, 05:43 AM
 
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if they post about it on fb, comment with..
Oh, What time does the party start? WOuld love to bring some of my world famous jello shots!
Or something fun. They will more than likely say come on over! Then you will all have fun!
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Old 07-04-2012, 06:40 AM
 
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I can understand being hurt.

If they are good friends call them today and invite yourself. They may have forgotten to call and would probably be happy to see you.

Forget the idea of saying something tomorrow, that allows the sadness/disappointment to grow and create more bad feelings and you don't need that.

My old neighbors used to forget to invite me to parties frequently so I know how you feel. I decided they were the type of neighbors I needed as friends and became friends with other neighbors instead.
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Old 07-04-2012, 07:04 AM
 
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What the previous poster said about inviting yourself is totally wrong to do. Always remember, if someone really wants to do something, they'll do it. To me, it seems that they aren't as close with you as you think & it could be a # of reasons that they didn't invite you.

Do you think any of these are possibilities below?

- Are you married? Maybe they don't like your husband for some reason.
- Do you have bratty kids that run wild that they don't want to be bothered with?
- Maybe you talk all about yourself & monopolize the conversation & never ask anyone else about themselves. I know someone like that. I've been on the outside looking in at this group of ladies & one of them MUST always talk about her 2 teenage daughters & the next saga they're into...like people want to hear that all the time!
- Maybe for some reason, your friends see that you bring a different vibe to the group of people that they don't like & they want a different feeling at the party this time.

Have you noticed that you do most of the calling when you call them &/or that you have to initiate when you do things? Just sit back for a change & see if they make the 1st move w/ you.

The next time you have a party, definitely do NOT invite them. Why should you when they didn't.

After a while of observing how they are the next few months, if it really concernes you that much, talk to each of them about it.
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Call today!
Old 07-04-2012, 07:30 AM
 
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Planning a party can be very hectic! Maybe they did send you an invite and it got lost in the mail, rejected by email,nor something. Maybe they toed your email incorrectly. Maybe they have been waiting for you to RSVP.

If you wait until tomorrow you will feel bad all day today! If they are your friends they will be glad you called.
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don't blame you
Old 07-04-2012, 07:42 AM
 
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I understand completely how you feel. In fact, I didn't want to hijack your thread so I posted my own.

But shame on your friends! I think people are just thoughtless sometimes. I agree with the suggestion of contacting your friends tomorrow and asking about the parties. Make them squirm or better yet be direct and ask why you were left out.
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Old 07-04-2012, 08:27 AM
 
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I would call today just to check in and see what they have planned. If it is an oversight they will invite you and if you are not invited they won't mention the party. This way you will know where you stand and can make other plans to enjoy the day.
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Old 07-04-2012, 08:51 AM
 
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Peachyteacher has the right idea! Call today and see what they have planned or you can mention that so and so said they were having a party and you were thinking of coming. Either way if they are real friends that you socialize with, not just once or twice a year, they would be glad you called. If they are the once or twice a year friend I would forget about it and move on.

I am surprised that a few people mentioned calling them tomorrow. What? I'm not sure if they were serious or not but to me that is high school drama. You don't want to lower yourself.
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Old 07-04-2012, 08:59 AM
 
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I agree with Peachyteacher. That's a good test to really see if they meant to invite you. Talk like usual & ask what their plans are today. If they don't invite you or mention any party, then that shows how they really feel & you should gradually distance yourself from them since they obviously don't want to be bothered.
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Keep us posted
Old 07-04-2012, 12:47 PM
 
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I don't have any further advice for you since everyone has valid points but, I am dying to know what you decide to do!!
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