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Birthday party?
Old 07-29-2020, 09:54 AM
  #1

I'm at a crossroads. The twins' 5th birthday is in September. I don't know where to host a mini party or not.

Facts:
1. They will be back in daycare as I am back to work.
2. I would only invite 6 friends total, but my parents and sister and her family would come.
3. It would only be there friends from their old daycare that they don't get to see anymore.
4. They have been talking about their birthday for a month or so already.

I'm just so torn because I don't think they really understand why we wouldn't be able to have one. Also, I have no idea what theme it would be. Boy/Girl themes are hard!!

If I didn't invite friends, my parents and my sister and her family would come up anyway. We have been going back and forth all summer to see each other. So I am not too worried there. Plus, my sister and her kids will be back at daycare/work as well.

I do want to be careful and we do take precautions, but they are at the ends of their ropes with not seeing friends. I also don't know how others would feel coming to our house. The party would be outside in the backyard.


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Old 07-29-2020, 10:13 AM
  #2

We’re hosting a drive by event for my sons 6th birthday this weekend. He started talking about his party the middle of June and I told him he probably couldn’t have a party. He said they’d stay 6 feet apart.
I made a graphic and posted it on my Facebook and sent it to a few friends that aren’t on Facebook. I can send it to you, but it’s very basic.

I’m making big Pokémon characters for the yard.

I’m passing out individually wrapped “birthday cakes” (by Little Debbie). And Capri Suns and water.
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Old 07-29-2020, 10:27 AM
  #3

I'd definitely plan on family coming up.
I would have a frank conversation with each friend's parent(s). Tell them you'd love for the kids to celebrate together, but you have to look out for everyone's safety. Ask them things like have you been socializing, do you wear a mask EVERY time you go somewhere, have you come in contact with any COVID+ people, etc. If they pass, invite them to the party. A few dasy befroe, call thema gian and double check they're still "safe" to come. Then your kids can be told who will/won't be able to come and why.

As for themes, maybe a favorite animal of each, a favorite movie of both kids, rainbows, Lego, favorite sports or sports teams, or just bright colors everywhere.
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Old 07-29-2020, 10:31 AM
  #4

Honestly, if it were me, I wouldn't. I know it is hard for the kids to miss out, but for me having that many people over would not be safe. Especially since it is different kids than they are seeing at daycare everyday. I think 5 years old is enough to give them a simple explanation about why it's not safe yet, and plan a bigger party next year.

I would possibly invite just family, and keep it small, still in the backyard. Then they can still have a mini party, open gifts, have cake, etc. Make the day special at home. My kids don't often do a theme, they just have cake and play games, so I wouldn't worry about that part.
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Birthday
Old 07-29-2020, 10:43 AM
  #5

You said they’d be back at daycare, so they will be seeing other kids at that point. Does the daycare allow any sort of treats to be sent in? Or maybe send in a book that they pick out to be read and donated to the classroom?

I wouldn’t have friends over this year, just family you’ve been seeing. They wouldn’t be able to stay away from their buddies.

Can the friends zoom with them to sing happy birthday to them? We did that with my class for kids who had birthdays when we were shut down.

Hope they have a great birthday!


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Old 07-29-2020, 10:50 AM
  #6

I did not do a party for DD when she turned 9. We had just the people in my house and my mom who has been in our bubble. DH’s parents came by with masks to drop off a present. DD had a Zoom play date with her best friend. I think it was harder on me than it was on DD.

We did make it special. We played games with her and had her favorite ice cream and dinner. I figured every person that comes over has the potential for getting someone getting sick. I don’t want to be responsible for that.

I found if I had a good attitude about a low key birthday then DD had the same good attitude.

Last edited by rubyanne; 07-29-2020 at 12:00 PM..
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Old 07-29-2020, 11:16 AM
  #7

If it were me, I would just have a party with my family members. I wouldn't want to risk my health or the health of my family members. I would explain to the children that there are too many germs going around right now. They are young,and there are many years ahead for big birthday parties.
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Old 07-29-2020, 11:16 AM
  #8

Quote:
Originally Posted by rubyanne
I figured every person that comes over it is the potential for someone getting sick. I don’t want to be responsible for that.

I found if I had a good attitude about a low key birthday then DD had the same good attitude.
Hooray for you, rubyanne! I admire your insight and care for others. I so appreciate your post.

It is my opinion that we can all make excuses:
Quote:
Originally Posted by techgrad
...they are at the ends of their ropes with not seeing friends.
techgrad, I get this and I sympathize. ALL of us, every single one of us, wants to see our friends. I recognize it’s even harder for most kids, but that doesn’t mean we should drop our guard against this terrible virus that has killed more than 152,000 Americans. I know from your posts that you’re a bright and caring woman. Please do what you know to be right.

Sending birthday wishes.
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Old 07-29-2020, 12:22 PM
  #9

DH’s grandson has a birthday next week. They live about an hour away and we haven’t seen them since before this started. Yesterday we drove there, put the gift bag on the front steps, got back in the car, texted them, and grandson came out and picked up the present. Both grandkids waved from the doorway and we waved back from the car.

It stinks. Our area was bad earlier, and then got much better. But, DH had to do an in person doctor appointment this morning. The office was fine, masks, sanitizer, and temperature check. The doctor said not to let up on precautions as he thinks the cases in our town are on the rise. People are getting complacent. We need to stay vigilant.
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Old 07-29-2020, 01:01 PM
  #10

Neither of my kids had a birthday party. It was especially hard for my DD, because it was her 11th birthday and she desperately wanted to have her friends over. We let them pick a special supper - DS asked for steaks and DD wanted take out from a local Mexican place. Then, they FaceTimed their grandparents when they opened presents.

I was broken-hearted for them, but tried to make sure that they didn’t know how sad I felt. I agree with another poster — your attitude is everything.


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Party
Old 07-29-2020, 01:06 PM
  #11

I am extra cautious and believe it to be necessary and prudent. I understand about wanting to make the day special for your children, but many do not have birthday parties -ever- and survive and even thrive. We are all at the ends of our ropes, but have to keep up the safety precautions. Gatherings of more than a few people are dangerous. If you are low key and relaxed, they will be too. And a 5 year old is old enough to understand there are too many germs right now. I think getting together with family is perfect. Be glad all are healthy and have fun.
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Old 07-29-2020, 01:08 PM
  #12

My dd turned 15 June 30. We did not have our get together with family or anything because my ds works in a restaurant and had coworkers diagnosed with Covid.

We let her bf come over (he's been having to stay with us part of the time this summer anyway) and the two of them and me and my dh cooked out.

I wouldn't have any type of friend get togethers.
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Old 07-29-2020, 01:39 PM
  #13

I would not have a party with friends. I would consider doing a drive by and just do a get together with family. Now is not the time to have a birthday party. My kids are older, but if they were young and invited to a party I would not let them go. There’s too much of a risk now. You can decorate, do lawn signs and have a zoom party with friends. They will see their friends at day care. I hope whatever you decide is fun!
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Old 07-29-2020, 01:57 PM
  #14

If I had children I would not be having a birthday party for them. You could set-up a drive-by of his friends and hand out cupcakes or the Little Debbies. Or have a Zoom get together with all friends. You could play a scavenger hunt, have them sing Happy Birthday [maybe deliver cupcakes/Little Debbies to the children before hand so they could eat together] and just socialize. I think your children will be happy once they realize that there are germs that make a party inappropriate.
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No party
Old 07-29-2020, 03:47 PM
  #15

Would you go to a party at one of the friend's houses? Most likely not. You have been given plenty of good advice. Kids have disappointments. They will pick up on how you handle this event. If you are happy and upbeat, they will be too. Good luck!
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I say no party
Old 07-29-2020, 03:49 PM
  #16

At that age they will get excited and probably not stay socially distanced. Just sounds too risky to me.

I would give them a gift they can experience and have fun with. Something like a new playscape, swing, trampoline, bikes, zip line for backyard......

Maybe have them wake to helium filled balloons over the bed with cards tied to them.

Have breakfast on the patio.

For lunch go through the drive through and get ice cream cones first. (small ones) Then go back through the line or another restaurant for a burger or chicken nuggets. Maybe you can start a tradition of dessert first for lunch on their birthday. They will love that!

Go home and open presents and play.

Then for dinner prepare their favorite meal. Serve cake and ice cream.

Make the whole day filled with fun to celebrate them.
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Birthday
Old 07-29-2020, 04:30 PM
  #17

My DDs only had big friend parties on their even birthdays. The other birthdays were family events.
I would not have a kid party. I would have the family party. You’ve been seeing them and you know the precautions they are taking. Pick a theme like camping, have hotdogs over a fire, make s’mores, camping crafts, fish for prizes, etc. Do you have a tent? Could you put it up and sleep in it. Shadow puppets, star gazing, Project a movie somewhere.
Search Pinterest for backyard party ideas for more themes. And just go for that, even if it’s just you and the twins. If you make it special and just focus on that they will understand.

(Nothing against big parties every year, my kids’ birthdays were complicated by being around thanksgiving and Christmas.)
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Old 07-29-2020, 06:47 PM
  #18

My son turned five in May. He got loads of presents from family, and we made it a special day for him in quarantine. He thought it was great. Really and truly.

I think your twins would understand. They have been living this reality for months. As my husband says, it is one birthday--not graduation, not a wedding, not a funeral--just a birthday that can be special just by being the center of attention and making all the choices. Maybe you would need two days or a week even...haha!

Best to all of you!
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