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Upsetting prank at DGS school
Old 04-02-2019, 05:52 AM
  #1

My grandson loves his small school a fun older grade teacher I will call Mr. X. He has not had Mr.X as a teacher, but he’s the “it” teacher everyone hopes to get next year. He is a young man and his students delight in his shenanigans,especially on April Fools day. He is apparently very playful and rambunctious and the kids love that. My DGS has a challenging start to life and has always been a bit sensitive to noise and commotion. But he still loves Mr.X. I think he might have a sensory processing problem. Full disclosure and back story.

Yesterday at release Mr. X started yelling and had kids take cover and shelter under tables in the cafeteria where they sit for bus release and was shouting and screaming and seemed to be crying in the eyes of my GS. It ended up being a prank. My grandson actually threw up on the way home, he was so upset. He thought there was a shooter and that he was going to die. Mr.X didn’t say there was a shooter, GS just thought there was one by the crying and commotion.My son called me and I gave him my shocked two cents. GS and I had some nana time on video phone.

This morning he didn’t want to go to school and his parents asked me to babysit him while they go to work for quality nana time. They drove 45 minutes to get him here and he is playing hooky. I feel upset that he was so disturbed by the prank. I feel the prank was inappropriate and also that my GS might have issues that need counseling. He is still very, very upset.

Do I broach the counseling topic? My son is not the most open person and hates anything he feels as criticism. I also think they should complain over the completely inappropriate prank. That I think I can convince them to do.


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Old 04-02-2019, 06:04 AM
  #2

Hard situation, good luck.
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That was not funny. It was stupid
Old 04-02-2019, 06:05 AM
  #3

and dangerous. I would already be at the school kicking that teacher's ass. Okay, but that's just me. WTF was he thinking? I hope someone talks to him.
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Old 04-02-2019, 06:09 AM
  #4

Your son or dil absolutely need to voice their concerns to the administration. This young teacher does not understand where the line lies between "prank" and "completely inappropriate".

To me, your dgs's reaction is almost like PTSD. I wonder if other young students, who have difficulty telling reality from fantasy, are having similar reactions. Perhaps the school counselor should be asked to work with all of them - another thing your son could address with admin. In my opinion, admin should be contacted this morning!
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Old 04-02-2019, 06:10 AM
  #5

In this day and age I think that type of prank is totally inappropriate and the teacher needs to be spoken to about it. As an adult I would be traumatized by that! When we had an active shooter drill after school hours(just the staff) my adrenaline was in full throttle even though I knew they werenít shooting actual ammo.


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I think you have an obligation
Old 04-02-2019, 06:16 AM
  #6

to share the effect of this prank with the guidance counselor and your DGS's teacher and maybe the administration.
This is way out of line. I don't think the teacher should be fired or anything but this should never happen again. I am sure your DGS was not the only child who was emotionally upset by this. I can't even imagine that happening in the school where I taught. I worked with a wonderful teacher who suffered with PTSD and had it under control but somehow I think this prank would have had a real negative effect on him as well.
What is wrong with people?

Think about this. It is illegal to yell fire in a public place when there is no fire. Now, how different is this? I think it is worse. With a fire one can leave the building and know you are safe, an experience like this has no place where the students felt safe.

After thinking about this please change "maybe the administration" to definitely the administration.
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prank?
Old 04-02-2019, 06:36 AM
  #7

Quote:
This young teacher does not understand where the line lies between "prank" and "completely inappropriate".
The adults in the room should have known better. I agree that the administration and the teacher should be told that this was in poor taste. The teacher should know that it impacted your grandson and very likely other children as well. I know my DGD#1 would be very distraught too as she is very sensitive.
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Prank backfire
Old 04-02-2019, 06:41 AM
  #8

Yes, the parents need to express there dislike for the prank AND itís unintended ramifications.

Pretending to have an armed shooter on campus is not funny in the least. This teacher should be reprimanded, but not fired.
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Old 04-02-2019, 06:44 AM
  #9

Overall, unwise on Mr. X's part. Apparently being a teacher, he still obviously doesn't think about the kinds of issues kids today may have. They may have gone through actual tragedies and trauma like that prank, sensory issues like you said, etc.

Sure, you being the grandmother should bring up counseling because this is your grandson and you want him to be the best version of himself he can be. You're the parent of the parents, so I think you should bring it up. Too bad your son is the type who doesn't take criticism well, but still bring it up.

Now this next part, I'm speaking in general here, not necessarily directed at you: When kids grow up to be adults and even have their own families, I wish they would still listen to their parents and not just think that because they're grown, that they don't have to listen anymore...IF the parents are good parents that is. (I'm not talking about still listening to parents who were druggies, alcoholics, of immoral character, etc. their whole lives.)

Last edited by MAsped; 04-02-2019 at 07:01 AM..
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Old 04-02-2019, 06:49 AM
  #10

This prank was mean ,not fun and should never happen again. Perhaps talk your son into approaching the teacher about it. Your gs is still young and his feelings should always be respected and seen as legitimate. It would probably be best if his parents talked to the teacher without the son aware that they are doing so. Separately I would encourage the parents to be sure to continue talking to their son about his upsets with the eventual goal being that your gs learn to speak up for himself to his teachers. Your son may take it wrong that you have feedback however for the sake of your gs and other children,that teacher needs to be spoken to about the incident.


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Old 04-02-2019, 08:03 AM
  #11

What happens the next time the school has a shooter drill or (Heaven forbid) a real shooter in the school? Will the kids be thinking it's another joke? I think it's a terrible thing he did and I hope he gets a lot of blowback for it. I hope you grandson can find peace.
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Old 04-02-2019, 08:07 AM
  #12

This is a horrible prank. I think the teacher should be reprimanded. Was he the only teacher in the cafe? If your son and DIL donít complain then I think you should. By the way, how old is your grandson?
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Old 04-02-2019, 08:13 AM
  #13

I think thatís a terrible prank and shows a severe lack of judgment on the part of Mr. X. The school should definitely be made aware of how it affected your grandson. Iím sure other kids were upset, too.
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Old 04-02-2019, 08:59 AM
  #14

Your poor GS! What a stupid and thoughtless prank for Mr. X to pull on the children! Absolutely beyond belief a teacher would do something like that. I would be royally pissed as a colleague, and even more so as a parent.

I hope news of the prank made it to the principal PDQ and this teacher has already been reprimanded.

Your GS’s parents definitely need to contact the principal and report their child’s reaction to the “prank” and why he missed school today. I hope your DS is feeling better and tomorrow he’ll be ready to return to school.
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Old 04-02-2019, 09:58 AM
  #15

Ditto Zipline's response.

I don't think you should contact the school. It's the role of the parent. If your grandson continues to balk at going to school, I'm sure they will discuss it with the principal, that is if they haven't already taken that step. They may have already done so.

As far as counseling, let it go for just a bit unless grandson continues to be upset and refuses to go to school. If he does, it becomes a family emergency and your two cents is more apt to be accepted.

You definitely don't want to be seen as one of those grandparents who seem to be criticizing the parent's ability to be a parent. I know you're not, we know you're not, you know you're not, but parents can be very, very sensitive about their role. I was that way with both my own mother and my mother-in-law. I didn't want anyone to even hint that I wasn't doing my best at parenting.
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Old 04-02-2019, 10:24 AM
  #16

I do think the prank should be reported to the school by your son or DIL. I don't think the teacher should be fired over it but he should definitely understand that it wasn't appropriate. As far as your DGS goes, that is a tough situation.
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Old 04-02-2019, 11:00 AM
  #17

I would absolutely lose my sh!t if this happened at my kids' school, no matter how old the students are. I agree with timeforbed, it's not your place, but it needs to be discussed. Wow. That's reprehensible.
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Old 04-02-2019, 11:02 AM
  #18

Wow- I am in a teacher Facebook group where the teacher youíre talking about posted about this yesterday (I am positive it was exact same from his description and yours). So many people told him he should not have done it and would have been in big trouble at their school and he answered that they obviously didnít know him or his school and everyone thought it was funny, no one was upset. So I do think this needs to be brought to his attention.
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Old 04-02-2019, 11:07 AM
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Old 04-02-2019, 11:10 AM
  #19

That’s unacceptable if it’s the same person. May I ask the name of the group?
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Old 04-02-2019, 12:06 PM
  #20

This guy definitely sounds like he's trying too hard to be popular. A prank is supposed to be fun for everyone involved, not make them afraid for their lives.
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Old 04-02-2019, 12:44 PM
  #21

What a totally inappropriate ďprankĒ. Somebody shouldíve dialled 911 and then let him explain it.
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Old 04-02-2019, 01:23 PM
  #22

I really hope your son/dil reports that prank to school/lodges a complaint about the prank. That was not ok. That was beyond a prank and it had a huge negative impact on your son (and I'm sure on several other kids as well). I think it was in extremely poor taste and was likely very confusing.

Whether or not you broach the counseling topic is tricky. Without knowing any of you IRL, I have no idea what to tell you on that.
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Old 04-02-2019, 01:35 PM
  #23

I also saw this posted in a facebook group. It is Not So Wimpy 5th grade teachers. Sounded like a horrible idea to me and I hope someone does report this teacher. He blew off comments stating his teachers and admin know how he is so it was no big deal.
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Old 04-02-2019, 02:34 PM
  #24

It's a serious breach of security when teachers use a safety drill as a prank. What will the students think when there is a real drill? Will they delay responding thinking that this may be just another prank.

This "prank" shows a serious lack of professional judgment. The teacher should be written up and come to an understanding that there is nothing funny about safety drills. Nothing funny at all.
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Old 04-02-2019, 02:58 PM
  #25

Honestly, it doesn't sound like this guy is mature enough to be a teacher. I'm all for making learning fun and incorporating games and technology into my lessons, but there is no need to act rambunctious. The fact that he tricked students into thinking there was an active shooter tells me this man is not teacher material. I assume other parents will complain about this.
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Old 04-02-2019, 03:04 PM
  #26

I'm sorry your grandson is so upset. The prank was terrible and should have never happened.
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Prank
Old 04-02-2019, 03:08 PM
  #27

That wasn't a prank, that was cruel. I would have had 3 students screaming and freaking out, even though they know the drill and what to do. Parents would have been furious with me. I gave my kids a word search that couldn't be solved because the words were not there. Guess what? They found the April Fools in the word search and just laughed, and said good one, but we figured it out. That was after about 15 minutes.
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Serious immaturity and mean spiritedness
Old 04-02-2019, 03:14 PM
  #28

I would not want my child in his classroom. With weird, immature and impulsive people, there will never be one isolated incident.
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Prank
Old 04-02-2019, 03:27 PM
  #29

That wasn't a prank, that was cruel. I would have had 3 students screaming and freaking out, even though they know the drill and what to do. Parents would have been furious with me. I gave my kids a word search that couldn't be solved because the words were not there. Guess what? They found the April Fools in the word search and just laughed, and said good one, but we figured it out. That was after about 15 minutes.
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Mr X needs to grow up
Old 04-02-2019, 03:56 PM
  #30

He doesn't sound very mature at all, thinking that everyone thinks like him (likes dumb pranks).

Quite honestly, his act would have my heart beating pretty fast because of past history.

The others are right, too. No matter how well-intentioned you are, I would hold off on offering advice unless things escalated quite a bit (which we hope it doesn't) or the parents ask.

I feel for your DGS. I hope he feels safe at school again.
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Old 04-02-2019, 04:24 PM
  #31

Wow. Just wow. I really don't have anything to add to the situation, but a grown person should definitely understand how wrong that kind of action was. I think consequences are definitely warranted for such a ridiculous prank. If the school didn't take action, I might go to the public.
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Old 04-02-2019, 04:50 PM
  #32

I really hope your DS and DIL report your grandson's reaction to this 'prank'. Mr. X and his admin need to know that it wasn't harmless!
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Couple thoughts...
Old 04-02-2019, 05:17 PM
  #33

Here are my two cents...

I understand how people think you (or his parents) should approach this subject with administration. Personally, that's not my preference in a lot of cases. This obviously was something not thought out. I whole-heartedly disagree with the teacher and think he was in the wrong. However, I am very hesitant about going to admin or even the teacher with these types of concerns. My reason being is that we are all human and all make mistakes. Looking back on it, there are so many things as a teacher I shouldn't have sad or did. I'm not perfect, I'm human. I would honestly feel even worse if someone told me how much what I said bothered them or their child. I tend to take the perspective that since we are all human and make mistakes, and since we can't control other people's actions, we need to teach our children how to respond to these types of things. They can control how they react, but not what the other person does. You mentioned he had a rough start in life. I'm not sure what all that entails, but based on that and how he upset he was over this, yes, maybe you could approach counseling. Even if it was just the school counselor to go through some strategies. Personally, I'm also in the middle on him staying home today. While I certainly one side of it, I also know that the longer he is away from school (even a day) the harder it's actually going to make it...at least that's often how it works! If you still don't feel comfortable suggesting counseling or if the suggestion isn't taken well, maybe you could find ways to work strategies for handling this kind of anxiety into some everyday discussions. For example, each time he talks about something he is anxious about or each time he gets stressed about a situation, model a strategy. Or, you could find a way to talk about something that's stressing you (nothing that would scare him!) and mention that since you are stressed, you are trying to do XYZ (deep breathing, meditating, progressive muscle relaxation, etc.) to help with it.

If your grandson gets this teacher next year, maybe his parents can talk to the teacher before the year starts and let him know about your grandson's start to life and how because of that, he often gets scared easily, has anxiety, etc. They could even share that things like school shootings, natural disasters, etc, scare him. They wouldn't even need to bring up this incident. Maybe even the teacher could enlist your grandson to be a helper with some of his pranks (hopefully the teacher doesn't go to this extreme again, though) to alleviate his anxiety.
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Cruel and foolish "prank"
Old 04-02-2019, 06:17 PM
  #34

What this teacher did was wrong on so many levels, I am astounded that either he or any of his colleagues could imagine it was OK. He figuratively cried "wolf" which in itself is a dangerous precedent. He had his "fun" at the expense and possible security of innocent children. He modeled very wrong thinking behavior. Worse than all, he evidently sees nothing wrong with what he did! His poor judgement is truly frightening.

I would not want any child I cared about in this teacher's classroom.
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Bad!
Old 04-02-2019, 06:39 PM
  #35

That was the most terrible thing I have ever heard! I would be at the district about that! My students get scared even when we have practice lockdowns and they always know when they will be. I hate to wish another teacher is fired, but really that man needs to not be around children.
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Old 04-02-2019, 07:21 PM
  #36

I completely agree the we all make mistakes.

With that said, based on the Facebook posts this teacher has made in response to the incident, he is not remorseful in any way. Other teachers politely told him this was inappropriate given today's climate in schools and warned him that they would have gotten in trouble with admin, parents, etc. He repeatedly responded that people needed to lighten up and that the kids love him. It was essentially a brag fest.
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I have not seen the facebook
Old 04-03-2019, 04:40 AM
  #37

postings, but isn't it time now for the school to take this seriously and get that young man some Professional Development to correct his misunderstanding of what is appropriate behavior and what is unacceptable? How does any educator not understand how triggering severe anxiety in young children is just wrong on every level?
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Old 04-03-2019, 05:28 AM
  #38

I canít remember which one it was and now I canít find the post; guessing he took it down.
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Old 04-03-2019, 01:31 PM
  #39

Ridiculous and inappropriate! Definitely should be brought to the attention of the teacher and guidance counselor. If they do not get any satisfaction there, take it to administration. Although, it likely has already been done by some other concerned parents.

Praying for your DGS and all the other kids!

Nancy
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