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Spoiled or angry child
Old 04-13-2019, 08:48 AM
 
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I have a student I am at a loss how to handle. He has not been too much of an issue until the last two months. It's now accelerating. He will not stop interrupting my lessons. He constantly calls out and then looks around to see who's looking. He is a major daily tantrum thrower to the point I have to remove him from the room. He doesn't want to leave. But he won't control the behavior. He's even been carried out of my room by the SRO. I have talked with him, moved his seat, even moved him to my afternoon class. (He fights with another student in my homeroom). We've had conferences with mother, referrals, guidance, and meetings with the principal. Nothing changes. Please note that he doesn't act like this in his other classes. At least not daily like I see in my room. He either can't or won't explain why. My guess is that he doesn't like me. I don't know what I did to set that off.


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Old 04-13-2019, 09:01 AM
 
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You could be right. He may not like you, but there could be reasons beyond it being you.

Are the students the same in the other classes? There could be one student that triggers this behavior in him. He may want to show off for that student or hide some deficit that he has.

Is he struggling with the subject? Sometimes kids act out to hide feeling inadequate.

Do you react differently than other teachers to misbehavior? Do you get flustered, angry, or visibly irritated? If so, it may be that your reaction is what he is looking for for either his amusement or to show off to others. If so, time to hide your feelings and be matter of fact. (I'm not assuming anything here. Just offering a suggestion if you aren't already doing it.)

I am surprised he has yet to have an in-school suspension, but I know all schools function differently. Yours may not do so.

Just don't assume he doesn't like you. There are so many reasons beyond you that could cause this.
 
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What grade level?
Old 04-13-2019, 11:12 AM
 
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You don't say what grade level this is, but is there something going on at home that is causing this sudden shift in behavior? New baby? Serious illness or death in the family? Drugs/alcoholism? If he is old enough is it hormones? Are you certain he doesn't act that way in other classes? It's possible that the other teachers aren't telling you the whole story, or haven't communicated this to the admin or parent.

You said you have talked with him. What is his answer?
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Old 04-13-2019, 01:01 PM
 
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I teach second grade. I forgot to mention that in my post. Iíve asked him and all I get is a shrug. Mom canít get him to say either. He is fine for his math science teacher. Iím ELA. He was doing well in class. He just ramps up in my class. The principal canít figure it out either. We all feel he can control this and chooses this behavior.
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Off topic but jealous!
Old 04-13-2019, 01:33 PM
 
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I know this is off topic but I am jealous that in second grade you get to teach only ELA! He has a math and science teacher! I would love to only have some of my kids for one subject! I teach second and am overwhelmed with the amount of work I have to do each day teaching the reading curriculum, writing curriculum, phonics curriculum, math curriculum, science curriculum, social studies curriculum, and of course the Anti-bullying curriculum!


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Old 04-13-2019, 04:29 PM
 
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The particular time of day?
Hungry? or a food allergy to what he has just eaten?
Mold in the room? or different cleaning supplies?
Struggling with reading and avoids it by acting out?
Lighting in the room?
Is this the only time he's with the student he fights with?
Has someone just sat in the room to observe everything that is going on with him, to try to find triggers?
Anything happening during the transition from whatever class comes first?

How incredibly frustrating for you.
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Old 04-13-2019, 06:12 PM
 
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No one has come in to observe. Iíve suggested it, but there seems to be no time or availability. Iíve switched hi classes. My team teacher is very flexible. Our rooms are pretty much identical and our teaching styles are similar. Anything can trigger an out burst. For example, he had a fit because I ďclipped upĒ two people while he was in the bathroom. He must have heard it through the door. He felt it was unfair. Lost his temper.
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Old 04-13-2019, 06:53 PM
 
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How is he with the content? How is your relationshiip? If he doesnt struggle else where then it would seem like has the skills to do well and he WANTS to use them and do well (and he does elsewhere) so something is holding him back.

If you have had him in both morning and afternoon, its not the time of day and its not the other kids. Have you tried asking him and having him explain what is setting him off or "making it hard for him to be the great learner that he is for Mrs. MathScience-because you really want to help him learn and you think the class would be a better place if he was part of it sharing his great ideas".

I really loath to say this because every time someone says it to me I internally roll my eyes and scream-"Duh, like I'm not already doing that!", but have you done any relationship building stuff with him, like showing interest in his hobby/sports or giving him special jobs in the classroom or letting him pick a friend to eat lunch and watch the magic school bus or something in the classroom now and then. I have had kids that were total relationship kids and without the positive and mutually respectful relationship they were a mess, but with it I could treat them like anyone else without them melting down, because they knew I cared and respected them and just wanted what was best for them and the classroom as a whole.

If you have already started relationship building and assuring the kid that you care and are there to help and not to hurt then it may just take time. ROme wasnt built in a day and neither was the wall they have built up that keeps you and anyone else who "picks on them"(according to their thinking) out.
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Just a few thoughts based on experience.
Old 04-14-2019, 04:00 AM
 
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I admire your willingness to address the situation. You sound like a strong, carrying person. Many teachers are unable to admit they are having difficulty with a student. They let the child roam free and pretend they aren't having the same issues you do because they view the lack of control as a personal weakness or don't want to be on the radar of the administrators and specialists who fault the staff member over a child's weaknesses.

If I had $1 for every time I had a struggling student who had previously been "perfectly fine" academically, I'd be rich. Or worked on the behavior of a child who ruled a classroom with a teacher who didn't want to ripple the water.

One time I intervened when an aggressive student grabbed a mirror (plastic) and lunged at his special ed teacher with a motion to slash her face with it. She recoiled in fright and seemed relieved when I handled it. Later, when I talked with her, though, she pretended she couldn't remember the incident as it was "nothing." I can't imagine what she endured working when that child was in her room.

Keep up your hard work. You can't make a child like you and he won't like you if you try too hard to earn his approval. That is part of the manipulation some kids are so good at. It is sad when a child rejects chances to improve their life.

Last edited by heart4kids; 04-14-2019 at 04:06 AM.. Reason: Added thought.
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Environment
Old 04-14-2019, 07:48 PM
 
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Someone else posted what I was thinking, that perhaps there is something in the room environment or the time of day he is in your room. Some students have allergies and/or sensitivities that they aren't even aware of, until they have exposure.

Years ago I worked in an office, and one of my coworkers was getting these terrible headaches every day. Our cubicles were next to each other. Turns out it was my hair product that was giving her the headache. She discovered it when, for a bit, I used a different one, and her headaches disappeared. A month later I went back to the original, and her headaches came back! This was a 50+ year old woman. I imagine the effect would be magnified on a child.

So it could be cleaning supplies, dust, air fresheners, perfume, hair products, even the detergent that you or the kids in your class use to wash their clothes. It's not possible to shield children from all of this, but it's something to think about.


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Can he read?
Old 04-16-2019, 08:37 AM
 
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Sounds like a dumb question, but as someone else mentioned, if he struggling with the content, he might act out just in that class. At his age, he probably can't explain his behavior, and probably can't (not won't) control it.
Some kids are REALLY good at compensating when they struggle, so it's very possible he is having difficulties with content, and no one has picked up on it.
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Old 04-16-2019, 02:20 PM
 
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Quote:
My guess is that he doesn't like me. I don't know what I did to set that off.
It could be exactly the opposite. He may like you a lot and be acting out because he thinks some other kids is getting more of your attention. That doesn't have to be true for him to feel as though it is.

Is there some other child in the class who is going through something that's particularly difficult? Something that began about the time this child started accelerating his bad behavior? It wasn't in my class, but several years ago I observed a situation in which a first grader lost a parent part way through the year. Another student in the class, who was already quite difficult, began acting out in a big way and also began bullying/fighting with the child who was bereaved. I think he was upset that, in his view, this other child was getting way too much special attention.

In my current position, I have a couple of students who are hyper-sensitive about positive remarks or attention given to other children. I have to be very careful with feedback given to individuals in front of the class. I try to keep it neutral and specific because if it sounds like praise or compliments, the "Jealous Nelly's" will go on a rampage. It doesn't matter one bit if I praised them 5 minutes ago - they still can't stand to hear some other kid get praised.

I sometimes wonder if all this emphasis on relationship-building doesn't cause us as many problems as it resolves. I mean, I agree that it's important to build relationships with kids but these days it seems as though well-behaved kids can get ignored while everyone is falling all over themselves to build relationships with the behaviorally challenged ones. I think this sometimes has the unintended consequence of reinforcing bad behavior.
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